Amy's weight loss diary

Hi hi hot stuff!
Hope you're having fun catching up with everyone over in the winter wonder land :)

I totally agree with Rainbow. You should just write down what you are eating! Don't worry about the cals or the reputation or antyhing, just keep track of it. We'll all support you no matter what!
 
Hi Amy, How's it going girl? I haven't yet caught up with your diary and it might take a while but i've read your last post and all the others that follow it.

Ah so you are in oz and struggling with mum's good but high cal cooking. Well we are in a similar situation though i have to admit mine is much easier. My sister is home and for example last night cooked and offered me a delicious fruit cake. I have to admit i resisted it quite easily as i've already gone through a major crisis in my diet and recovered from it. And now that i am home i am keen to be really on track holding my weight a steady gorgeous amount.

Sorry for crapping on about myself but its with the view that it might help so bear with me.

I don't know if its quite the same thing but when i had my eating crisis towards the end of my journey, one night when it reached a peak i stuffed myself so full i thought i might vomit and then i got angry with myself and vowed to report everything to the forum when i report my diary, and to get back on track from the next day. For some reason, punishing myself (i use that word reluctantly) with a public confession really helped me sort out my out of control appetite. The next day when packing i threw out some of the things i had bought at the supermarket ( an unopened packet of chocolate pudding mixture and what was left of the jar of nutella that i had tried to eat all of the night before) rather than keep them with me in my gear. I was amazed how well this worked for me. So what i am saying is keep reporting on what you are eating but as rainbow says, don't worry about the weights and calories just make yourself sick with how gross the list is and a bit of self humiliation if that helps. I know its not quite the same situation in that regard as its your mum who's pushing you to eat but if you are doing it for whatever reason, just keep writing it down.

You will recover from this when you get more control of your circumstances again. Also I can't see what it is you weigh but it seems you have made a steady progress in your goals and are now looking gorgeous. A new tip i have got that may help you here is rather than stress about small increments of weight gain, just make a firm promise to yourself never to go above x kg again in your life. This might be a temporary limit for the current circumstances and you can change it when you reach your goal to something lower but it should help take the pressure off you a bit while you are in Australia.

My limit is currently 2.6kg above my weight. It means if i see a weight rise on the scales each day or have a major slip up at any point, i don't have to feel to bad. I can just monitor and if i can't get a grip before getting up to that limit, i trust that when i hit that limit, i will be able to clamp down and get back down again.

Hope all this helps in some way though it seems you have a few strategies of your own.

I'm looking forward to reading your diary again but now that i am home, i really want to spend a lot more time working on my projects rather than on the internet so it will be a while before i catch up with everyone on the forum. I'll keeping reading new posts though.

Oh also thanks for stopping by while i was away. It was lovely to have a few posts from the regulars whenever i got a chance to check in .
 
Hi girl - we all keep talking about how much we miss you! Rainbow and I have been laughing about how our calorie-counting has gone down the toilet now you aren't around.

Miss you!
 
Hello, have been reading some of your journey. We have so much in common!!
How is it going? Cannot wait to read more when you'll be back!
 
Sorry for being away for awhile- I've decided for the sake of my own sanity to be "off" the diet until I get back. Partly because there's so much I've missed (Australian food/ my mother's cooking/ stuff I can't afford in the UK), and partly because the Italian mother/ prodigal son treatment continues in earnest (on Saturday we went to a cafe for lunch and then my dad went to the chicken shop to get dinner... and I just had to try it, it's their favourite, etc. They have a lot of favourites, it seems). I've been here a month, will be back in the UK in just under two weeks, and I'll just take the damage and move on.

I have kept up some good habits and I've got a new recipe for a vegan dish my mum makes that I'm sure is low calorie (but I haven't calculated it because my mum thinks I'm insane, and she doesn't really measure anything). It uses up leftovers and is cheap and easy. It's sauteed onion in oil (would use way less oil than mum does), then add ground cumin and coriander seed, then add dry red lentils and water, partially cook the lentils, then add some potato (cut up into small bits), and add other vegetables that you have to complete the dish (carrot, zucchini, brocolli, frozen mixed veg... mum suggests parsnip but she says it's too expensive in Australia). It's sort of a mix between a stew and a soup, and it's really nice and filling. I'm planning on experimenting with the base and adding other spices or possibly sauces (say, make it tomato based, try it with beans instead of potato, that sort of thing).

Exercise hasn't been great because I'm reliant on my sister and her weekend pass to get me to the gym, and she hasn't been well. I've done a little on the treadmill but my family's schedule throws me out of whack a lot (they're very much morning people, and I'm really not). We went to the Blue Mountains this weekend (hence cafe meal) and accidentally went on a 6km bushwalk though (the sign said 40min return, 1km, easy- I'm not sure what it was advertising because it took 2 hours and I reckon was moderate- difficult, incredibly steep in parts with ill-defined paths, and sometimes no fences just before a probably deadly drop. I'm glad I've retained some fitness because I was the last one to be completely knackered by it... at the last stretch. It was worth it though, the views and the serenity were incredible)

I'm seriously considering joining the Virgin gym near me when I get back. It looks to be very expensive (not as expensive as the place just down the road)- apparently it was 38 pounds a month for students this time last year- but it's walking distance (which means I'll get there more often and probably not have it be as disruptive to my work), and apparently has really good facilities. The centre I was considering before I came back to Australia has some weights that will be better as they've been equipped for international sportspeople, and it's cheaper (more like 20 pounds a month), but it's a lot more out of the way. Will ponder it.

I see the appeal of reporting what I'm eating, but really... you guys don't want to know. I'm enjoying myself, my mother isn't worried that I'm starving myself anymore (and if I'm not on a diet I get to ignore her bad advice about dieting and just eat as I please, rather than have her do things for me which are too much work for not enough result, not something I enjoy (I really don't like most gluten-free food, and I don't see how it's a miracle weight loss anything as she claims) or do things that are completely ill-informed and counterproductive).

I agree with you, Andrea, about tracking weight. My weight maintenance plan, once I reach goal, is to ease up considerably on the calorie counting front but to continue to track the weight as I have been (or, was in the UK. My parents don't have scales- I have no idea what I weigh, but it's not what it was- 64.5kg). As I was starting I mentally negotiated a "safe place" for my weight goals- my aim is and was 60kg, but I'd stop somewhere between 55 and 65 (which, IIRC, is about the boundaries of a healthy BMI for my height). At 64.5kg I still thought 60kg was an appropriate goal (I wanted to lose more and I suspect that I'd be far, far too skinny at 55), so I'm going to stick to that as I continue to/ return to losing weight, and I think once I get down to goal I'll be working within similar parameters (depending on how much other life stuff takes over- if I have the time/ energy, I'll keep it to a couple of kilos, if I'm flat out, no more than 5 over).

I've mentally prepared myself to have put on 3-5kg. I'll not be happy, but I suspect once I get back to calorie counting, as I was used to eating 1200-1500 calories a day, it'll come off relatively easily again (if I've put on 5kg, I'd like to see some 1kg/ week losses again, not just 0.5). I don't really want to see 70kg again, but I'm fine with the 60's.

Thanks everyone for stopping by and continuing to encourage me. I have been reading everyone's things, but I haven't posted... mostly out of guilt. I'm way, way, way off any sort of bandwagon here.
 
I've just clambered my way back onto the bandwagon--Hope to see you on it with me in 2 weeks when you get back, lovely lady ;)
 
Thanks Hana, glad to see you're back :)

Oh, and two more things. One is sort of an excuse for why I've been even more off the bandwagon in the last week (than what, I'm not telling you, but just trust me on this). My parents have been taking care of (read: paying for) my medical that isn't covered by the NHS- I'm getting new glasses (which are costing quite a pretty penny as I don't have health insurance in Australia anymore) and I've been to the dentist. I had my remaining two wisdom teeth out (I had two out last time I went to the dentist, too long ago), and to get one of them out they had to cut into the gum and gave me several stitches. For several days it hurt like (I try not to swear much on this board, insert something appropriate here) and I had a lot of trouble with solid food, then it went away for a bit, and now the pain's coming back with a vengeance (despite all the horrible awful disgusting salt water gargling I've been doing dilligently, I think it's infected :( ). I was up most of last night with half of my lower jaw throbbing so hard I'm surprised it didn't wake my parents. I've been relying on smoothies, yoghurt (low fat, of course) and ice cream to take away the pain, because even the ultra-strong paracetamol and codeine (cocodamol in the UK, like Panadeine in Australia- the stuff I take has 10mg of codeine per tablet) doesn't do nearly enough for it. I'm not a terribly happy bunny about it at the moment, but I see the dentist again later this week (I need fillings too :( ) and hopefully she'll be able to tell me what's wrong if the antibiotics don't make it better (I only just realised it might be infected rather than just "stitches hurt, deal", so today my mum's getting the prescription the dentist gave me) and/ or make the pain go away.

Also, my boyfriend sent me flowers. He found a site for sending flowers to Australia that offered prices in pounds, and spent "what he thought I was worth". It's for our 11th "monthiversary" (yes, I know that's not a word, and I know we're probably OTT for still marking that sort of thing). This is one of the pictures I took on the day it arrived (Friday). The buds have opened considerably since then (and are orange). He wasn't happy that they weren't in "my colours", but I love them. (I've eased up a bit on letting him give me flowers- it used to be "none", the first time it was "just this once". My current stance on it is that he has free reign until our anniversary of starting to date- late August (although if he buys me more flowers in Australia I won't be too happy, the AUD is at almost record highs against the GBP, so he's wasting money), then he has a limit on how many times he can buy me flowers in a year. This is to stop him spending too much money, as our relationship continues extremely well and I suspect that engagement- and related expenses- is in our not-too-distant future). I miss him terribly.
 
You sure do sound like a happy couple amy. I am jealous of that. Its so nice to read about though.

Sorry to hear about your tooth. I don't know if you remember but i had one out before my trip. Yes the pain does sound like infection. I hope it gets better quickly. I've got another one to come out on Thursday but the last ones were easy and i think these will be too. I had one stitch that time. I think its necessary to have at least one on the bottom because its such a big hole left behind. And of course if they cut your gum, you would need more.

I like the sound of your mum's lentil and leftover recipe. Could you please have a go at getting a more accurate description for me. Like how much of each spice to how many lentils and potatos and how much of the leftover vegies and what else was there? When i make lentil soup, i've noticed also that its really likes to be mixed with tomatoo paste but the turkish soup which is my absolute favourite is ultra basic and i can never quite remember how its done. Are you guys italian? Lucky!

Back to hte weight thing. Wow you have done well to get down to 64.5kg. I totally know what you mean by not wanting to be near 70s again. At 64 i'm starting to feel respectable. I think you are about my height 165. 60 is ok but where i am now is nice. I think 55 is too skinny. well it is for me on my top shelf. MOst of my fat still is stored in my arse and legs and i've got a big head and feet so that also means i am skinnier in some places - torso and arms.

Anyhow, i hope you can enjoy your food without losing the plot totally and i hope the mountain wont' be too big to climb when you have to start again.
 
Thanks for stopping by, Andrea, and glad to see you're back from your trip :)

No, I'm not actually Italian (as far as I can tell, almost entirely English with a touch of Irish, but most of my ancestors arrived in Australia pre-20th century), my mother just acts like it sometimes! The old stereotype about mother's love being through cooking... she shows that and then some. Particularly as this is the first time I've been in Australia in nearly two years and she knows damned well I can't afford to eat as well as she'd like me to (and I choose to spend less money than she think is reasonable because I'm trying to make my money last!). Her little girl has returned... the family's all together... etc etc. (This isn't to say I don't appreciate it- I do- but she's showing love in a lot more ways than her cooking, and even love= cooking doesn't necessarily mean love= a cake a day, which it was for the first couple of weeks)

The lentil stew is a bit of a chuck together, which is just the way mum does things, I'm afraid. My recollection was a generous amount of oil (well, more "(insert expletives here), Mum, would you like some stew with your oil?!"- I'd reduce the amount of oil I used), a large onion chopped up and sauteed, a couple of teaspoons each of ground cumin and ground coriander seeds, maybe about a cup of red lentils (I guesstimate? Mum just tipped it in until she thought she had enough), not sure how much water, 2-3 potatoes (can't remember I'm afraid), about 3 carrots, 2 zucchini, a broccoli, and a bit of frozen mixed veg (a cup or two?). She also made it before chucking in some leftover taco sauce, and that worked too. But it really was just "throw it all together and see what happens", which is pretty much what I'll be doing when I get back- I'll write it all down and report the results. (This produced about 10 serves, by the way, and it gets significantly better as leftovers. I love cheap leftover fodder)

I know what you mean about weight being stored in one area over another. I've noticed it as my weight was going down, that once I got out of the "overweight" category as my weight goes, the weight really stopped coming off my top half (or came off very slowly) and really started to concentrate more on my problem areas. And now (I'm sure I've put on some weight, I've been eating pretty badly for a month) the vast majority of my weight gain seems to be in my bum and thighs, and only a little in my stomach. Don't you wish you could spot train and get it off exactly where you wanted?

I think that's the phrase for my diet at the moment: "lost the plot". I'm doing a lot of things I know are bad due to the food environment around me. I'm not mega-super-binging, but I'm eating bread and cheese and desserts along with the rest of my family, trying to keep the portions down (at least some of the time- particularly with my tooth the way it is I am going a little overboard with the ice cream... but I hurt :( ). But the thing is, I know I can get back on track. I'm not ruined or poisoned or anything and doomed to be big forever (I'm not big right now, I'm just being pseudo-melodramatic to make a point). I know exactly why I'm putting on weight, I know exactly how to change it, and I know I have the structure (in England), set up, and skills set to change it. It's not that I don't care, but... it's not the end of the world. It can and will be fixed. I'm still in control (or at least I will be when I'm back in my place cooking my own food).

Oh, and thank you :) We are very happy, but in many ways it's been a long time coming and a hard road for both of us. Everyone has their own ups and downs- I don't believe in karma and some people are luckier than others, but I like to look to the positives in my own and other's lives. Particularly for my own life, it makes everything a hell of a lot easier.
 
Last edited:
OK, an update as I got access to a set of scales (at my grandparents' place) today.

Current weight: 69.7kg :( (clothed, as my uncle was in the room showing me how the scales worked) So given I'm here another week, a little more weight gained than I expected, and I probably will see 70kg again by the time I get back to the UK. I'm not happy, but I've brought it on myself (am keeping the peace rather than focussing on diet goals). On the other hand, I'm not as bothered as I would've been about such a gain pre-calorie counting, because I know exactly how to get it off, and it's really not that hard, will just take some time.

But this was a more complicated scale than that. My current body fat percentage is 26.5%, water percent 55. something %, muscle percentage 30 something percent (33 point something percent if I recall correctly, I'm not really sure and it's been a long day), bone mass 2% (my uncle says his should be 3.5% and I should get that checked out). I'm not entirely sure what this tells me (we did some googling for bone percentage but couldn't find anything), and I suspect it's a cheapish body fat scale, but I thought I'd put the information out there.

This time, 8 days from now, I'll have been in the air for about two hours, and I arrive at the nearest airport to home Monday morning UK time.
 
Ah thanks for all that info on the soup and all Amy. At least you almost home and can start getting back into action soon. No more cakes lol.

I have to start watching myself soon too. I haven't been for a run yet but now i've got some runners again i will go soon.

That body scale is too much.

I can't quite remeber what sort of sore tooth you have but if its a sensitive tooth then you have to stop eating icecream because its causign your sensitivity. That's what it took me a number of years to figure out. I could really sensitive teeth and of course i ate a ton of icecream and i never put two and two together when i'd hear about hot and cold things causing it. my dentist had prattled on about some other explanation that had nothing to do with food but when i stopped eating icecream, my teeth sensitivity problem disappeared and when i eat it, it came back. So yeah. its pretty clear.

I had another tooth out. Only one more to go.
 
Thanks :)

Yes, once I'm back in the UK I'm going to go back to being very strict- 1200-1500 calories, I think, and I'll be joining a gym, although I haven't decided which one yet (one gym is easy walking distance, with very good facilities, but really quite expensive- ~40 pounds a month for a student. The other is a 40-50 min commute, between very good and world class facilities, pretty cheap- ~20 pounds a month for a student- but may be closed for major events as it's a pretty unique facility in the UK and competitions are held there). Would appreciate what people thought about one gym over another (I probably could stretch to 40 pounds a month, but I don't particularly want to... but then a gym that's convenient like that would mean I went more often). Oddly enough despite all the bad food, this trip has given me some additional tools to get back on track.

Speaking of which, (My mum makes it without the beef, grilled lime- she uses the juice for the sauce- coriander and taco sauce and it makes a lovely substantial salad, which I had for dinner tonight)

The sore tooth I had when I wrote that message was more sore gum, as I had two of my wisdom teeth out, and it was more an inflammation/ infection type pain. (Speaking of which, I need my antibiotic, thanks for the reminder) But I went back to the dentist on Wednesday for further work and now I have sensitive teeth (there's been no ice cream since then) due to the five fillings I had to have. Five! (I was in that chair for 2.5 hours- I've never had dental work anywhere near that extensive before, and I take better care of my teeth than I used to!) Apparently it's caused in large part because the water for 90% of the UK's population (including my area) doesn't have fluoride in it (incidentally, that blew my mind). I'm now brushing alternating with enamel restore and sensitive toothpaste, and when I get back to the UK I'm going to be stocking up on fluoride so I don't lose my damn teeth. (As my parents put it to me when I was younger "Sydney has fluoride in its water and has done since we (ie, my parents) were kids. Which is why your grandparents have dentures and you'll never need them." My parents have since said "this must be why we think all Poms* have bad teeth!")

My teeth are pretty sensitive no matter what I do at the moment. On Thursday I was drinking some (room temperature) water, and even that hurt at that particular moment. Ice cream is definitely worse than most things, but at this stage I'm suffering a fair bit.

* Pom= an Australian term for someone from the UK. It used to be an abusive/ derogatory term (one explanation of the origin is "prisoner of motherland", although that's not undisputed), but now it's ambiguous (can be as simple as "someone from the UK", can be an almost affectionate term, like a nickname- in the same way some Australians use the word "bastard"- but can still be derogatory, depending on context. My use, and I think my parents' is somewhere between "someone from the UK" and affectionate)

My mum has helped me put an online order in for groceries to arrive the day after I get back from the UK. I'm getting better quality meat into the house than I'm used to having (not as nice as the stuff my parents are feeding me, but my parents' income and mine are worlds apart, and meat is significantly cheaper in Australia than in the UK, particularly with the current decrease in the Japanese market). I'm particularly keen to get into more fish, I've had heaps while I've been in Australia and I can't get enough of it, particularly given how infrequently I have it in England!

This is my mum's favourite salmon dish (I've ordered some), and I reckon it's going to blow my boyfriend's socks off :D
 
I'm starting to get a bit down about my weight gain. Specifically, I hope my boyfriend isn't too disappointed in me. I'm sure he won't be devastated, as I've warned him, he's seen me heavier, and I know he loves me as I am... but he was getting so excited about my new body and how good I looked...
 
I just want to say that all is going to be as before youre going to lose what you have gained an no prblem at all!!!Dont be sad its not that you ;ve put on a terrible ammount of weight and i am SURE your BF adores you for who u are!!!I mean WHO send flowers to the other side of the Globe????so sweety be happy to see him again and be calm!
We are all here for each other!
I am very tired so ill read more tomoroW!
Hope u have a great trip!
 
Thanks, Jasper :) I know he loves me as I am (and heavier if it comes to it, which I hope it won't), but he was getting almost as excited as I was about the weight loss, and I'm sad to have to go back to where I was over two months ago. As you say, it'll come off and I know it will, so it's not such a big deal, but... still not ideal.

He really surprised me with the flowers. He did an awful lot of research to find a florist quite close to me and ordered from them. He was so thrilled when I sent him photos :D

Edit to add: today is going to be (yet another!) blowout day (eating out lunch and dinner...) but I'm trying to drag breakfast back. Mum was out (so couldn't complain about my habits) so I had 40g of oats with 321ml skim milk, 30g sultanas, and half a teaspoon of cinnamon. (And a cup of coffee)
 
I'm glad your slowly getting back into your old habits, even with just one breakfast, its a step in the right direction again.

It won't be long till you two FINALLY see each other again :) I hope he spins you around at the airport, and its like a film :D

Don't worry about the weight gain- I guess at least one good thing has come out of it, that your mum doesn't think you have an eating disorder any more. You have got such a great dieting brain, and the weight will come off again before you know it.

I was in a similar gym predicament the other day. There is one only two minutes out of the way of Lily's new nursery which is not as big, and more expensive, and one half an hour walk away (an hours round trip) which is better and cheaper. I have thought to myself to sod the extra money, and join the closer one. Its easy to think that you will be up for travelling the extra distance now, when its sunny outside, but in the freezing winter you'll wish that you had chosen the closer one. I also don't know if you've got a train pass to take you to the posh one, you might have to pay extra in travel which could be counter productive.
 
amy1985 said:
I'm starting to get a bit down about my weight gain. Specifically, I hope my boyfriend isn't too disappointed in me. I'm sure he won't be devastated, as I've warned him, he's seen me heavier, and I know he loves me as I am... but he was getting so excited about my new body and how good I looked...
Click to expand...

:waving: WELCOME BACK!!! and it sounds like you got a keeper there in your boyfriend!! :):) I am sure you will have those few pounds off in no time...you did it once you can do it again!! :)
 
Sorry! I am coming back, it's just... food has hit major mega disaster zone again here as it finally hits mum that I'm leaving in a few days. On Monday (after breakfast, I land mid-morning) I'm going to be back to healthy habits. I don't know how exactly I'll track because I'll be shattered for a couple of days, but the (insert things you don't want to know about here) will be a thing of the past. (Well... I am taking some Australian lollies/ sweets/ candy back to the UK, but they all have used by dates in 2012 or beyond so I'm going to make them last. And 2/3 of them are gifts) I'm also almost decided on the gym I'm going to join (the cheaper one- it's near the university and I'm sure I'll be able to figure out how to take gym stuff and uni stuff with me day in day out, and it'll get me out of my flat more often).

My diet is firmly in "you really don't want to know" land for now. And there will be "you don't want to know" elements not long after I get back, because my boyfriend and I are celebrating a year together a couple of weeks after I get back and... that's special. I can't not. (I plan to make him the first thing I ever cooked for him. Not the most elaborate thing in the world but it has sentimental value. Although I might try to make it a bit more fancy as my cooking skills have come a long way in the last year)
 
:) Sounds like your relationship with your boyfriend is just fantastic, and your little anniversary plan sounds really really lovely.

And as for the 'You don't wanna know' business, WRONG! We all want you to write down what you eat, no matter how bad! It's just that you don't want US to know! ;) I see through you, woman! hehehe.

Can't believe how fast your trip has gone by...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top