Amy's weight loss diary

Okay, so despite the silly tram incident that you have already been reprimanded for, I am
SO
PROUD
OF
YOU
for relinquishing control and going out for dinner like that! Gotta keep some balance in your life. :)
Really, congrats. Despite the toilet issues;)
 
And I like the idea of the 80/20 game. You could also perhaps choose one day a week where you don't weigh and calorie count to the same degree. You don't have to go crazy, and can kind of eat similarly, but just without the calculations. Just an idea!
 
Say, cut my normal calorie allowance and play the 80/20 game a bit more (be good/ track 80% of the time, relinquish at least some control 20% of the time). What do you (or anyone reading this) think about that?
Click to expand...

I think this is a great idea--Even if just to prove to yourself that you don't have to control every aspect of your diet on a wider scale. I just read your posts from yesterday and got really worried for you..It worries me that you would walk past Eat--You could have grabbed a soup or something and just looked on the website later. It's important to let go sometimes--You say calorie counting works for you and that's great but there are a ton of other people on this site also calorie counting and losing weight but not taking it to the extremes you are. Whether you reach goal in 5 weeks or 5 months, whats important is that this is sustainable and something you feel happy with--And at times you seem very aware how much control you need to have over your eating which concerns me and (I hate to say it :/) makes me think that there is something more serious going on, i.e. a sort of eating disorder.

I know you've said you don't think you have one so I'm not going to mention it again and I apologise if anything I've said has offended you.

Also, I believe you can buy/find online, guides that tell you the calories of meals at a restaurant. If a certain pasta dish at Bella Pasta has so many calories, you will know that that number will stay roughly the same regardless of where you eat.
 
amy1985 said:
One of my aims is to be able to get across that thing one day. I think it's because we're heavier? (or maybe just less strong per size)

Have had a bad day. Had an appointment about the time I normally had lunch, skipped lunch (with the intention of eating something later, and found myself wandering through the city in a bad hypoglycaemic state looking for something with an acceptable calorie count, rejecting everything for far too long. I was in a hell of a state by the time I got to somewhere where I could eat, and only chose that because it was either that or passing out. I said to myself when I started this that my diet would not get in the way of my safety. I walked in front of a freaking tram in my haze today (thankfully it wasn't moving, but it could have been for all I knew).

Strangely enough, this has scared me somewhat. This should not happen. Control is not that important to me that I risk my health that much. Weight loss is not that important to me.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do in the medium to long term, but tonight I need an exercise in no control. My boyfriend is taking me out, we're going to a place that doesn't calorie count (and isn't a healthy/ low calorie option), he's going to order for me (with my only input being his knowledge on what I do and don't like), and he's going to decide how much we/ I eat (how many courses). I'm not going to even attempt to calorie count this. This is a psychological exercise.

I hope to be back on the bandwagon tomorrow, but that depends on how this evening goes for me.

Sorry guys, I feel like I've let at least some of you down. I screwed up- not in my calories (to this point I'm pretty sure I'd be on track if I had what I'd originally intended for dinner, as I was careful-ish with my lunch), but in my mindset. Safety is more important than anything- even control.
Click to expand...

hello, sweetheart!

Since I started of with this diet there's this question in my head: To have a life full of restrictions, because we must admit that dieting and maintaining your weight is a continuous struggle with yourself,but being happy with your aspect and proud of your body, or an attitude that says: I eat whatever I want but when comes to choosing clothes or going to the beach, pool,or just out with my thin friends I want the Earth to open and have me in.


U remember I wrote that my wake up call was a fitting room cabin...me with a bunch of nice clothes that I couldn't possibly wear. Food keeps me happy while and 10 min after I eat...then comes remorse and depression of being fat.
So, may'be you are at a cross road when having to decide which one matters most for you.
I don't want to be harsh on u, I do not have this right and you've been most helpful to me and I wanna say a big Thank you! for that...
My grandfather was always saying: 'We eat to live and not the other way round!'

As a teenager I had couple of chubby friends and they were all saying how happy they were with themselves. years on... they're all dieting..one went to extreme..from 90 kg and 151 cm to 35 kg..that took her to intensive care. My conclusion is...how many of the chubby people are actually happy with their looks?

Take care!:seeya:
 
I've told my boyfriend that last night's exercise doesn't count in the going out once a month thing. Which he's pleased about because I think he wants to take me to a nicer place- last night was a good place, but it's pretty standard curry fare. I'm sure he has something fancy-ish in mind (well, as fancy as he/ we can afford), and possibly somewhere we've been before/ with significance to us. I'm also going to relinquish complete control in the 25-30 hours that it'll take me to fly home (I'm going with Finnair, so flying via Helsinki, which adds a few hours to the journey. Total flying time is ~21 hours direct Sydney- refuel somewhere in Asia- London- my location, plus layovers, and going via Finland adds a few hours. Maybe plus a few more including the inevitable delays). There are a number of "special diet" options, and I'm not choosing the low calorie option. (On the flight I'm going on I have quite a few options, and I'm going with something indulgent). I also decided (mostly yesterday) that when I'm back in Australia, when visiting friends, I'm going to be more relaxed about the whole thing. I wasn't going to be- I'd all but decided to skip all of this stuff. Make sure I go to Max Brenner with my best friend and have a glooooorious hot chocolate. Maybe go to Pancakes on the Rocks. Let one of my oldest friends take me out to Hog's Breath. Have some of the food that I've missed for nearly two years (TimTams, lamingtons, an Australian meat pie with proper tomato sauce, Australian ice cream, New Zealand ice cream... etc). I'm there for six weeks, I can space all of that out.

Sunflower, the control does bother me. Which is precisely why I did what I did last night- to see if I could. If I had trouble, that was a sign that I needed medical help. I didn't have trouble (apart from the toilet issues, but that was involuntary- not a mental health thing), I enjoyed it (once I got over the small initial jitters of "I'm deliberately blowing up my diet"), and I plan to do it again. I'm not going to stop monitoring my own attitudes towards diet, because you're right, I should be concerned (yesterday was a massive wake-up call), but I think on balance I don't think it's something where I need massive intervention.

The crazy thing is, the progress and such doesn't bother me. I don't care if it takes me 5 weeks, 5 months, a year, etc. I'm reasonably happy where I am now, and while I want to lose a little more weight, I'm in no rush. I think it's more that this is the first time I've been so certain of what my body is doing and why, and that feeling is empowering and great for my self-esteem, so I don't want to relinquish it. And I don't know how much control I can give up before it goes back to my old ways of "I'm not going to eat anything I like, I'm going to eat smaller portions so I feel a little bit hungry all the time- because my mum and others say if you're not hungry you can't lose weight- and still put on weight. Then sod it and binge, and put on even more weight. Then start again" That was the way it used to be, and I never want to go back there again.

I wouldn't presume to put other people's diets down- I think the manifestation of my own diet is a combination of my own foibles and the problems with food I've had in the past. I still think my diet/ attitudes to food are better than they were, even if my new habits are more dramatically worrying from time to time. I don't feel guilty about food anymore. I have it or I don't. I don't feel guilty about last night, even though I'm sure it had a zillion calories, was really bad for me, made me a bit sick, and I didn't/ can't track it. It was done for a purpose, I did well, pick up, move on. (Rather than "oh noes I ate ice cream yesterday I'll never be fit/ healthy") - actually, no, I feel guilty about last night to the extent that my boyfriend ate it too and he really needs to lose weight (he's obese class 2), whereas at this stage I only want to.

Not offended at all :) I said "eating disorder" first, and I'd rather be told if you or anyone thinks I have a problem. This is about me being healthy, getting over health difficulties, and living longer. Being neurotic and/ or getting myself killed don't work well in that equation.

Mady, thank you :) And you're welcome to be harsh on me if you think I need it. It's not about looks for me, it's about being healthy and being in control of my own destiny. But I am healthy (at least in terms of my weight), and control can be taken too far. I'm still thinking it over.

Need to stop writing essays here and get back to the essay I'm meant to be writing.
 
Also, not sure what to do in terms of 80/20. I think being in complete control most of the time will work best for me- I'm a bit all or nothing (and besides, it seems a bit wasteful to eat 50g of oats and not know about it when 45 or less is enough to keep me happy). So say the usual most of the time, and every week to ten days go out and do something without regard to the calories or health value (have a meal out, go buy a packet of crisps/ ice cream/ hot chocolate... something like that. How often depending on how big it is- so an ice cream once a week or a meal every ten days/ two weeks sort of thing). Perhaps then cutting my calories by 20% to compensate, but that takes me to under 1400 calories which seems very harsh (not sure how manageable it is).

Will think on it some more. Also going to go shopping and grab something I can stow in the bottom of my bag to eat in case of a hypoglycaemia episode. A bar or something, that will keep but I can control. Compromise position in unplanned circumstances- eat something that's probably less than ideal but not messing with my safety.
 
I've decided (based on my actual average consumption in June, excluding yesterday and today- as I think working near what I've been doing is a way to keep it manageable) to cut my calories by 15% and go with the 80/20 rule from here on in. Not sure whether I'll plan it or not, will depend on (in the UK) my boyfriend and other friends and potential plans, and in Australia on family and friends.

New allowance: 1483 calories (85% of old total), 93g protein (25% of macros), 225g carbs (54% macros), 35g fat (21% macros). And a certain amount of "I don't know/ don't want to know" every week to two weeks.
 
amy1985 said:
I've decided (based on my actual average consumption in June, excluding yesterday and today- as I think working near what I've been doing is a way to keep it manageable) to cut my calories by 15% and go with the 80/20 rule from here on in. Not sure whether I'll plan it or not, will depend on (in the UK) my boyfriend and other friends and potential plans, and in Australia on family and friends.

New allowance: 1483 calories (85% of old total), 93g protein (25% of macros), 225g carbs (54% macros), 35g fat (21% macros). And a certain amount of "I don't know/ don't want to know" every week to two weeks.
Click to expand...

That sounds very sensible. I wonder if you'll make that calorie range though. You've been eating considerably less than that lately.
 
Thanks :) My thought process was that if I'm going to go 80/20, then a 20% cut would be ideal, but that's 1396 calories and I'm not sure I should eat that little, and a 10% cut seems too little for essentially a 20% binge allowance. That and my calorie counting program has a function where you can look at your averages over a period of time- from 1 June to 21 June inclusive I had an average of 1520 calories a day, so 1483 seems eminently doable from that perspective. (I also look at my calorie allowance like a financial allowance. If I have $20, I can spend $5 or $10 or $19.50 and be fine, but if I spend $25 I'm in trouble- with the caveat that I always eat over 1200 calories)

I realised it was after 3pm and I hadn't had anything for lunch, or since breakfast. I'm just not hungry today. So I went for something healthy, that I don't find filling, that'll get my calories in. (Toast with tomato, pepper, dried oregano, and cheese, grilled) It's not normal but it's more normal than not eating lunch. I've not felt hungry all day, and so I think a normal lunch would make me vomit from being too full, so it's a compromise. (And I enjoyed it, I love tomato and melted cheese)
 
Dear Amy,

We all need to indulge ourselves once in a while...and to allow yourself an ice cream or a dessert is not murder. Because this is not a 2 weeks diet where u take out all sweets...it's long term and we are humans...we're surrounded by temptations everywhere.
Someone was telling me that I should allow myself a spoiling day when I could eat what I craved during the week. To be honest, I'm afraid to do that...what if I can't pull myself together after? But I agree I need some dessert to indulge.
I've got a problem too with skipping meals, I know it's damaging my stomach! But I know the cause( mine at least) it's spiritual...I'm down inside my head...that's why I lost appetite for food.

Every kick in the bum is a step ahead!
kisses!
 
Mady, I have dessert almost every day. I eat what I like, as long as the numbers add up (including chocolate, ice cream, jelly, and sugar). This is what I love about calorie counting- I can eat whatever I like, I can account for it, and I can still lose weight. I'm not depriving myself here. My problem is something different- I'm being too much in control of my food. Up until yesterday I'd refuse to eat something if I couldn't calorie count it. I can't do that anymore.
 
im hypoglycemic too amy, it sucks because even when you dont want to eat your body starts kicking in and telling you to eat and its always the sugary things you crave. (for me actually, savoury)

I think whats happened here is youve been so determined to loose weight, youve suffered with years of weight related torment, and now youre almost there youre mindset has only became more stubborn - i must NOT be defeated, it treats defeat as weakness, all you need to do is teach your body that its okay to be somewhat defeated now because youre almost there, youre already slim and healthy. I dont think you have an eating disorder, i think youve just taught yourself to be so determined that youre struggling to change that.

Hypoglycemia, to give you a positive, reminds you that in these situations you do need sugar and some protein, listen to your body, it rarely lets you down.

x
 
^ I think you're absolutely right. I've had problems for a long time and I'm finally finding something that's working for me, I don't want to screw this up. And it just seemed so stupid. Yesterday I wasn't as much hungry as... well, dizzy.

That being said, I'm still wary of mental health type issues because I'm a bit of a neurotic sod, so I'm going to be watching myself and I'm relinquishing some control some of the time from now on. Given where I am with the weight loss, I think slowing my weight loss is ok. In fact, I think I could stop now if I really had to.

I'm going to be putting something in place so this doesn't happen again. Work out a good snack on the go, put one in each of my bags, and make sure I eat it if I'm out longer than anticipated or my schedule gets broken up. That way I have some control without jeapordising my health or safety.
 
Only you know your own body, inside and out, you know whats best for you and how your body reacts to certain things.

Its great to keep an eye on mental health issues because although its such a stigma and is rarely spoken about, it is very common and is so easy to have. Im almost certain you dont have a mental health issue and more what i mentioned in my previous post.

Coming off a diet is like starting one, its a change of lifestyle, so whean yourself off it gradually, that way, you remain in control.

I take glucose tablets with me everywhere i go and if i get woozy i take two and if i still dont feel well i eat some protein, but usually they work a charm.

Great ideas about pre-preparing.

Hope youre back to yourself x
 
I'm hypoglycemic too. My blood sugar has always been under the minimum "acceptable", even when I was overweight.
I often do blood tests to monitor the situation. In fact, tomorrow morning I have a blood test :D
I always go around with something to put in my mouth in case of dizziness. Usually fruit or crackers. I always have a packet of sugar in my wallet in case of "severe" attack.
 
Speaking of hypoglycaemia... :cuss: :banghead: Wasn't planning on that orange, or that rice cake with peanut butter. But I didn't feel well, so I went for the quick sugar followed by the protein/ slow sugar. And I feel better. But I'm nearly at a thousand calories before dinner now :(

Well, maybe cutting my calories isn't going to work so well today. We'll see how it goes.

My thought on snacks was some sort of cereal bar- with fruit and nuts in it, about 150 calories worth. I need to go and pick up some milk so I'm going to go and look at that section in the supermarket and come home with something (a compromise on size/ calories/ protein/ sugar/ overall nutrition). Those things tend not to do too badly squashed in the bottom of a bag and have a relatively long shelf life. What do you guys think?
 
amy1985 said:
Speaking of hypoglycaemia... :cuss: :banghead: Wasn't planning on that orange, or that rice cake with peanut butter. But I didn't feel well, so I went for the quick sugar followed by the protein/ slow sugar. And I feel better. But I'm nearly at a thousand calories before dinner now :(

Well, maybe cutting my calories isn't going to work so well today. We'll see how it goes.

My thought on snacks was some sort of cereal bar- with fruit and nuts in it, about 150 calories worth. I need to go and pick up some milk so I'm going to go and look at that section in the supermarket and come home with something (a compromise on size/ calories/ protein/ sugar/ overall nutrition). Those things tend not to do too badly squashed in the bottom of a bag and have a relatively long shelf life. What do you guys think?
Click to expand...

they are perfect ;)
I often eat them. i put it in the bag in the morning and when i start to feel weak i eat it.

My favourit are:
Kelloggs_SpecialK_Bars_Red_Berries_12pk.jpg
 
Yup, sounds like a great idea. I often have a 'go natural' bar - I like the trail mix ones. Lots of seeds in it too, which I like. I'm not a big fan of the raisins... and the gooey stuff holding it all together isn't too sweet either. 152 Cal.
 
I don't know how you people who eat 1200 calories a day do it. I had to eat dinner early because I was suddenly starving, it's only 7:20pm and I only have about 100 calories left today. :( Really need to work out better ways to stay full and not get hypoglycaemia. For consistenly under 1500 calories. It seems daunting.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top