Amy's weight loss diary

Thanks for the suggestion about not mixing the couscous through. That's a really good idea. I read somewhere while looking for substitutions (one of the reasons I cut out the chilli pepper was that it was apparently worth another 20 cal/ serve!) that chilli powder can be replaced with paprika, which is a flavour I quite like. Will try that next time, perhaps (I have three servings left of the Moroccan chicken left to eat, plus a couple of the spiced orange chicken, and I shouldn't be eating more than one meat meal a day). I'm quite willing to experiment- I live on my own and generally I'm the only one who has to suffer if I make a mistake with my cooking (and as I'm a student I will suffer rather than throw it away- can't afford to be picky, although generally I'm a competent cook)

It's funny that I put myself through chilli- if I ever get asked about food intolerances, my first response is always "I'm not allergic, but I handle spice very badly" (quite often I have to clarify that I mean "burny" things, not every herb and spice in existence), so people rarely make me anything that's at all spicy (in fact most err probably too safe, I can handle a tiny bit- but I'd rather that than the alternative, which is not pretty). I guess I tried this because I wanted to expand the kinds of food I was willing to eat, and it just happened to have chilli in it.

I count herbs and things because I'm trying to count everything. I know with stuff like that I can't hope to be accurate, but my old problem dieting was "oh, I'll just have one biscuit, it'll be ok" and before I know it the packet's gone. Or a tub of ice cream, or even healthier things like a packet of sultanas. I can't get back into that habit, it's enormously damaging. I don't think a bit of pepper or mint is going to ruin my diet, it's more making sure I'm accountable for everything (except water, I guess, I'm not very good at tracking that) that goes into my mouth.
 
LOL. That's 20 calories in a tablespoon of chilli with beans! I usually put in only a 1/4 or 1/2 teaspoon. I just looked on the nutrition data website.
 
Am going to the gym soon, am starting to genuinely look forward to it. Not getting enough sleep at the moment, but I think I'm sleeping better. Need to get into more regular patterns. I'm used to staying up late and then the sun wakes me up earlier than I'm used to getting up.

Need a new sports bra. Can't work out what to get, and it's a reasonable investment on my budget. I have one, I like it, but damn Marks and Spencer, they don't make it anymore (Marks and Spencer would be a good store to get one from, there's a Simply Food near me and I think they'll deliver stuff to the Simply Food for free so I can just wander down the street to get it rather than go into the city, which I try to avoid if I can help it). Wearing the same sports bra day in and day out gets a little disgusting (I do wash it, but not as often as I'd like).

Am genuinely feeling better about life. The weather's improving a lot, there are flowers everywhere, and I just feel more alive at the moment.

Also, I think I've finally seen some shift in the scales. This is the first morning I weighed myself as suggested by many people on the forum, but the number on my scale has consistently been 74, and now it's reading 73. Going to weigh myself once a week. I hope this isn't a fluctuation, because I'm thrilled.

Edit to add: damn good thing I bought my workout tops from Primark (£2.50 each). Don't know whether it's because they're rubbish or because I'm changing shape, but I just put one on (changing to go to the gym) and it feels baggy (I bought them fitting). More progress, maybe :D
 
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Went to the gym psyched because of yesterday's good workout. Had a reasonable session for the most part- increased the cross trainer to 25 minutes and bike to 20 minutes (asked whether I should up resistance or length, was told length, so did it on very low intensity for my knees), increased calf raises from 3x15 to 3x18, rest of regular workout the same. Went on the treadmill for another 15 min today, with two lots of two minutes (building this up) running. Feel really good about that. This is a demon that I will overcome. Found the ab exercises very difficult today, but then again my increases are very recent (yesterday). Was very pleased about overcoming the hurdle of the calf raises and finally upping the reps- that'd been bothering me.

Confirmed my weight loss- the gym's scales also report me as a kilogram less than they had before. Thrilled to bits. I think I can also notice that my thighs are getting smaller, which is my big problem area.

Need to manage my food consumption before the gym a bit better. About halfway through my workout I started to feel nauseous, dizzy, and faint. This was probably because by the time I finished in the gym it was 4:30 and I hadn't even had lunch yet (because I've been told not to eat a meal before going to the gym- and I think the gym program is taking me about two hours, which is probably getting on towards excessive). I think an additional problem is that I had my coffee a little bit too strong this morning and by the time I was in the gym I was starting to come off the caffeine high. I had a light lucozade sport from their vending machine which (barely) got me through the workout, but I was feeling really horrible towards the end. I know I should've stopped, but I wanted to get the whole workout done. And the gym was blissfully empty, and I love working out when there's almost no one else around to watch/ judge me.
 
OK, here's what I've had to eat today. Some lessons learned- rice is way more calorific than I thought it'd be. That's what I was going to have with dinner tonight, decided at the last minute not to because a serving was nearly 300 calories, which is nuts. (Served with steamed zucchini, quite a lot of it)

Saturday 9 April

Breakfast: Indulgent version of the usual. 50g oats, 400ml milk, 80g blueberries (343.6), and 3 cups of coffee with milk (750ml so 7.5 cal for the coffee, 150g milk 52.5 cal). The coffee was very strong which messed with my gym session when I came down from the caffeine high- I need to measure my coffee beans before I grind them.
Snack: a 225g navel orange (110.2 cal)
Then went to the gym, and there had a 50cal Lucozade because I began to feel faint and I wanted to finish my workout (I know, I'm an idiot), as well as some water.
Lunch (which was very, very late): 2 pieces of rye bread (186 cal), 60g cottage cheese (42 cal), 80g tomato (14.4 cal), pepper and mint (guess 0.1g each- so 0.6cal for both), and 50g Branston smooth pickle (62.5 cal)
Snack: 165g Granny Smith apple (85.7 cal)
Dinner: This recipe . I adapted it because (as established) I don't particularly like chilli, took out the chilli pepper and substituted it with 2 teaspoons paprika, and instead of the Mexican chilli powder used 3 teaspoons of mild chilli powder. I added 2 dessertspoons of cornflour as I couldn't get the sauce to thicken. According to the recipe calculator I use that's 281 calories for a serve. I was going to serve with rice, but I couldn't believe how calorific rice was, so I've served it on 3 zucchini (guessed the weight as average, as I did it last minute- 100 cal), with 260g spinach on the side (65 cal)

Total (if I don't have dessert/ more fruit): 1400 cal (81%), 83g protein, 223g carbs, 22g fat.
 
Thanks :) I figure there's no point suffering on bland food- I won't be able to keep that up. It's still to some extent an experiment at this stage, working out what works, what doesn't, that sort of thing. Definitely pleased with how things are giong at this stage.
 
I don't know whether this is the food- could be- but I'm suddenly very very gassy. Not a problem at the moment- I live alone, I can deal with my own smells (and I always have plenty of air freshener lying around)- but I do not want this to keep up at the gym or :)eek:) in my meeting on Monday with my supervisor. I hope something good (weight loss? weight loss is good) will come out of this, because it's horrible. (At the risk of too much information, you know how people say that people don't smell their own flatulence as badly as other people smell it? Well, if this smells worse to other people, then heaven help them :ack2:)
 
It's probably the beans in the chilli. Did you never see blazing saddles? Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. Gass would be the wrong reason to stop eating good food and go back to bad old ways. Eating vegetables makes you fart more. Think cows!

Congratulations on tipping the scales at a kg. Its great also that you are feeling better about life. Everything is easier when you feel good. Try to keep your mood on an even keel though because if you are prone to depression at all, high moods can be followed by long difficult depressions. One of the keys to mood stability is good sleep. Maybe you know all this already.

I'm lucky in that I have the luxury to be able to sleep as much as i like. I used to have a bad habit of staying up late and sleeping in late. A very very bad habit which only now i've been able to break with my gardening and sleeping in a very light room where the sun gets me out of bed at a good hour. If i do go to bed late, i can take a sleep in the afternoon but i need to because i am hopeless on lack of sleep. I haven't had mood induced insomnia for a long time but i remember how i would get so high and stimulated that i would stay up all night. Its sooo bad for you. I hope you can avoid going there.
 
Thanks, fourtyfour. I know it's not a reason to stop eating well, it was just concerning me. I think it's easing off a bit now but it wasn't very good in the gym today. Thankfully there weren't many people in the gym and no one said anything. (Insomnia is a problem for me but I'm reasonably functional in the short term on all but no sleep and in the medium term on less than a couple of hours a night. I'm sure it'll catch up to me, but I've asked for medical help and had little/ none)

Have had a really good day so far. The weather is perfect, I'm still stoked about my weight loss, and I just keep feeling better and better. I know that can't last (I'm prone to depression as well), but I'm loving it while it's here. My boyfriend (who I dragged- kicking and screaming I think- to the gym with me today) said how radiant I looked. Just couldn't stop smiling. Had another great session at the gym including increasing some reps. The cross trainer was particularly good today, did the whole 25 minutes without being overly tired (I worked hard, but I wasn't puffed or sore like I usually am). Thinking about how far I've come in such a short time fitness wise. No running today, didn't feel like it. Still got a full workout in. Looking forward to Wednesday's jump in intensity.

My boyfriend and I then went shopping- he kept teasing me by stopping outside windows with Easter eggs, and I just told him (honestly) that I wasn't interested. In fact, there was even a bit of free chocolate on offer (he went into Whittard of Chelsea and got some tea, they were promoting their chocolate covered coffee beans) and I was only slightly tempted. I figure it's not worth it. Had to buy some new jeans because most of the ones I own are too small and will be pretty much until I reach my goal, and I was down to two pairs that fit- one that it's getting too warm to wear, and one that's starting to wear on the inner thigh and it's starting to get indecent to wear. Bought two pairs, one relatively expensive (as I expect I'll still be able to wear this size slightly big when I'm down to my goal weight) and one cheapish, got a student discount. My boyfriend offered to help me pay (and offered me way more than I thought was reasonable) to celebrate my weight loss. I thought about it, but decided that if he was going to do that (he indicated he'd do similar for every kilogram down the line) I'd rather get a lump sum at the end and go on a shopping spree (he was happy enough with that). I was thinking about doing similar myself, but he was offering me more money than I could reasonably afford to set aside for such things, so the end reward may be significantly bigger than I'd thought. He doesn't have to, but he knows that, and it's an awesome incentive.

Edit to add: Back to the gym- as I was walking in I recognised I was starting to get hungry, so I texted my boyfriend to ask him to bring me an apple, and to weigh it if he could (he has scales at home), but that it wasn't a big deal. He took forever to get to the gym (about an hour) and I asked him why- he said he had to find a shop that sold individual apples he could weigh so he didn't mess up my calorie counting. He says there's no way, now how, he's going to do it himself, but I love that he's helping me out like this. (I was perfectly happy to go on the average size, which in fact it wasn't far off)
 
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wow that is awesome! I would love a shopping spree :) My fiance would probably say its my daily life but I would have to disagree lol

Awesome job on working out and your boyfriend is a huge gem! I love people who are encouraging about weight loss :) Sometimes I hear about boyfriends that complain when their girlfriends lose weight .. how annoying would that be?? Some boyfriends have huge insecurities though and yours sounds like he's supportive all the way! :)
 
Thanks :) Yeah, he's pretty awesome. He sort of pushed me into this (I'd been moaning for months about not losing weight but hadn't done anything about it other than keep repeating my mistakes, then he joined the gym and I felt obliged to join too), but he doesn't seem to be getting as much out of it as I am (he's losing more weight, damn him, but his fitness is coming up a lot more gradually than mine and I don't think he gets the same feelings of wellbeing I'm starting to get from it). This is something I'd planned to do myself, but on my budget I can't afford to set a lot of money aside, perhaps enough for a couple of items of clothing? He's talking more like double that- so it's not going to be laden down with shopping bags from Selfridges kind of territory, but hopefully I'll find some really nice pieces when the time comes.

He's a bit funny about the weight loss. On the one hand, he tells me he loves me just as I am (and I believe him), but he wants me to be happy with myself so will encourage me. On the other, I think he thinks I'm overdoing all of this, and/ or overconcerned with my weight. It's a net benefit- and yeah, I'm really lucky.
 
Food diary time :) Feeling pretty good (and at the moment, damned full. Which is awesome on a diet)

Sunday 10 April

Breakfast: 50g oats made with water, 100ml milk on top, with 100g blueberries (last of the pack, I'd normally go for 80 but just had the rest)- subtotal 245 cal, 9g protein, 41g carbs, 4g fat
Before gym snack: 100g kiwi fruit (49 cal, 1g protein, 10g carbs, no fat)
After gym snack (or desperately need sugar hit): pink lady apple (148g, 76 cal, 21g carbs)
Lunch: 2 slices rye bread with 60g light onion and chive cottage cheese, with a 95g tomato, pepper and dried mint on top. Cup of black tea with a splash (20ml? didn't measure) milk (estimating herbs as 0.1g each, 252 cal, 13g protein, 45g carbs, 3g fat- and 47% of my salt intake, wtf)
Dinner: 175g steamed zucchini, 350g steamed carrot, with a serve of the spiced orange roast chicken and 50g of wholewheat couscous (602 cal, 35g protein, 96g carbs, 10g fat)
Dessert: 1/3 pot (est. 170g) light Greek yoghurt, a dessertspoon Australian honey, 135g (2 small) plums, 75g summer fruit mix, all stirred up together. (I love low calorie spoiling) (232 cal, 11g protein, 33g carbs, 5g fat)
Total: 1458 cal, 71g protein, 248g carbs, 23g fat
 
Hi Amy. The desperately need sugar hit means you've run out of glycogen in your muscles and need food. Its not sugar you need but only what you want. It's a danger zone. The time when you could easily lose the plot and go and undo all that good work. Maybe you should take a piece of fruit to the gym for after so you won't get caught out.

About the insomnia. Maybe you could look into meditation and yoga. Particularly yoga because it has meditation aspects and you can pick up ways to get your mind to relax at the same time as you are doing an often very rigorous exercise program. I find meditation gets boring after a while. It requires a lot of discipline which might be easier if you are not doing it alone. I am a fan of iyengar yoga - if you haven't already heard me say anything about it.

This type of yoga class usually goes for 1.5 hours. You do various exercises that work on your strength, flexibilty and some that will definitely make you puff and it works all parts of your body. The end of the class you do a 10 minute rest and this is very lovely. They may talk through you it. The teacher talks the whole time and listening to what they say can teach you many things about relaxation and avoiding stress. Ashtanga yoga is very cardio. There are all sorts of yoga methods. These are two common ones. I am not a fan of ashtanga. I'd rather run but boy if you want a workout, try it. Its very fast paced and strenous. But you don't get much teaching. Its just a case of watch and follow.

I think its largely stress that causes insomnia. And then we get into bad mental habits. We can get habituated to letting thoughts run round and round in our minds. We keep on about how we can't sleep. We reinforce the problem.

When i am not lazy and need to work a bit at getting to sleep, what i do is count sheep to either 10 or 100 and repeat. If you are tired this actually does work. Ok it might take a few times before you can do it easily. But with a little practice it works.

I mean its really the activity in your brain that's keeping you awake so you need to try to let your mind become restful. Tapes are nice but they get repetitive.

If you wake up a lot during the night. Again its probably a habit that your body has learned. YOu need to break the habit.

But my favourite - easiest - remedy is listening to radio national when i go to bed. I don't like listening to music. I like to listen to them talking about interesting stuff. In the UK you could try it with the BBC. It takes my mind of my own thoughts, and worries. My mind becomes relaxed and often though i would like to stay awake and listen, i can't help but fall asleep. The downside is that it can also wake you up later. But i don't always have that problem. I am a fairly deep sleeper.

Again, i think insomnia, providing you've had enough activity and been up long enough during the day, is largely about stress and worry. Learn to switch off the thinking. To let go of all that you thinking about. Save it for later.

If you have a habit of inactivity, staying up late and sleeping in, well its a problem of timing that needs to be the first thing to resolve. And that's not so easy either but since i've become a morning person, i am more active and sleep more easily at night and feel much better all around.
 
I think the sugar hit was more that I left too long a gap between breakfast and lunch- and worked out in the meantime. There's no way on earth I was going to go for anything like lollies or soft drink (there's a smallish convenience sized supermarket right near the gym so if I was desperate in future and I didn't have someone to bring me something, I could wander down and grab something (again, probably a piece of fruit) myself. I think fruit probably is the best solution in that scenario- it's low calorie, nutritious, lasts a reasonably long time to satisfy me (well, most of it), but also has the advantage of being a quick burst to get rid of the hypoglycaemic feelings I get if I haven't eaten for awhile. (I don't know if I actually have hypoglycaemia, but I do know if I don't eat reasonably regularly I begin to feel pretty horrible pretty quickly. Which is part of the reason why my previous "you must be hungry" diets didn't work- at the end of the day, I can't function like that).

I've seen you mention the yoga elsewhere. I've tried various things- admittedly not yoga, but including meditation- before, and for me even drugs don't always work. I just don't know how to switch my brain off. (Counting is one of my better methods, but even then my mind gets bored and wanders off to more interesting topics)

One of the things that has helped is not working in the same room as I sleep. I'm fortunate that as a student I have a flat to myself- last year I was in halls (residential college) and my bed was right next to my desk, so I felt I never escaped my work. My work has yet to enter my bedroom, and that's the way I plan to keep it. My bed is for relaxing, my desk is for work (and internet), and my brain hasn't connected the two. Has helped somewhat.

I think my biggest problem is that I'm just a night owl. I know people say that you can "reprogram", but I've tried, and I spend weeks feeling miserable and tired- still not being human before that certain hour (sometime between 10am and midday), still staying up late to get my work done because I think better late at night, and just getting less sleep. I'll worry about it when it becomes more of a problem- when I stop being a student, for example.

I miss Radio National. I don't think there's anything like it here, or at least I haven't found it. (My mum used to- may still do- listen to ABC Sydney and the talkback on there was hilarious. Discussing the benefits of orange cream biscuits, for example)

I'm mostly inactive by necessity- my "job" requires me to be at the computer working. If I'm really busy, I'll get up in the morning, turn my computer on, eat while it's warming up, and not move except for toilet/ meal breaks and to get a book from the shelf. Maybe a walk downstairs to the letterbox if I'm going stir crazy, but that'll be it for the day. Days like that are also when I fear my diet will go out the window, because my attention needs all the help it can get, and usually I reach for the lollies after the caffeine stops working.

But the changes I'm making (I hope) will remain the rule rather than the exception, so I think overall it'll still be positive.
 
"but I do know if I don't eat reasonably regularly I begin to feel pretty horrible pretty quickly."

I have this too.

I follow most of your patterns. Your sleep thing is the same as mine used to be before i got into my gardening. Although i have become a morning person, that only means i get up earlier now. I really prefer to sloth about for a few hours before doing anything serious. That's why i am going for my walks at about 10am which is not ideal. In the old days i always preferred exercise in the late afternoon. Late afternoons are when i feel best and most happy. I wish i could do everything - gardening, sitting on the deck with a glass of wine AND go for a walk at that time of day.

When i'm on my cycling tour, i will go to bed at 6pm because there's no light to do anything else and stay in bed at 12 hours because i am not a 4am or even a 6am sort of person. It means that the evenings are fairly long and boring.

What i am trying to say is that it is possible to change but i totally agree that studying seems to be a night time sort of activity. I've been there too.

I think i sleep so well these days because a) my mind is not very stimulated and b) i don't have many worries any more.

I am sure there must be good BBC radio as there is the BBC world service which is famous and similar to radio national. I am sure that RN borrowed its model from the BBC.
 
May need to work out how to incorporate cafes into my diet. I'm (hopefully) not talking about cake or meals, just drinks. (Unfortunately I'm not talking about chain cafes, so I can't google nutritional value like if I were, say, going to Starbucks. Which I wouldn't...) I know I can ask for skim milk (or at least semi-skimmed, and for going out it's not that different), but it's out of my hands in a way I don't feel entirely comfortable with.

Social incorporations of eating out are one thing- and something I can either avoid or will bring in when I'm into more of a swing with my diet (and/ or have lost a milestone amount of weight)- and I can limit them. This is a potentially academic reason for going out for drinks (and possibly food- eek), and so it's more important to my non-weight loss goals. Any strategies anyone can recommend (apart from the obvious- no food if it can be helped, skim milk, no sugar) to keep the calorie count of this sort of thing down, or to guesstimate the calories where there's no information readily available?

Edit to add: had a bit of an experiment with lunch. Was probably a bit on the high calorie side for what I'd normally eat, but it was yummy and I'd do it again. More details with food diary after I've decided what's for dinner and eaten it.
 
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Thoughts on today. I'm suddenly really exhausted, have been struggling to get through the day. Not sure why and I'm glad I have a doctor's appointment so I can talk to her about it. No gym on Mondays, as a general rule, and none today. Had a good meeting with my supervisor and have a lot to be getting on with... but at the moment I'm not feeling terribly well.

Anyway, here's my food diary for the day. I'm at the very least pleased that I'm sticking to the diet even when I feel rotten.

Monday 11 April

Breakfast: more or less the usual. 50g oats, made with 300ml skim milk, with 100ml skim milk on top, made with a dessertspoon of honey and 75g summer berries, a cup of strong black tea with a dash (est. 20ml) of milk. (Subtotal: 359 cal, 20g protein, 55g carbs, 4g fat).
Snack (meeting with supervisor went longer than expected, got home really hungry, needed to eat something immediately): 225g orange (110 cal, 2 protein, 28 carbs)
Lunch: Wanted to try something different today as that rye bread, although really good, is really salty and that's potentially a problem. So had an experimental lunch. 200g potato (boiled, no salt or anything added), 250g tomato (covered and put into the microwave until mushy), 60g cottage cheese, and two dessertspoons full (approx 8g) of grated parmesan cheese. Subtotal: 265 cal, 14g protein, 46g carbs, 4g fat (and 16% as opposed to the 40-odd percent salt that my normal rye bread lunch attracts)
Dinner: Had early because I have to get an early night, I feel awful. 300g carrots and 125g zucchini, steamed, and the chilli con carne I mentioned before on top of another 200g potatoes (probably OTT with potatoes today but I'm not sure what to do with the chilli now rice seems so calorific!) Subtotal: 569 cal, 36g protein, 84g carbs, 12g fat

Total: 1304 cal (75%), 73g protein, 214g carbs, 21g fat.
 
Sigh.

OK, not too much of a hassle, I suppose, given I've been consistently under my allowance for awhile, but I'm suddenly having stupid chocolate cravings. I know I shouldn't- I know it's just or mostly because I'm not feeling well and want comfort food. I don't have any chocolate in the house apart from a small amount of the drinking variety (and the calories on that are outrageous), so I'd have to go out and get it, and... well, I don't feel well, sod that. I recognise this type of craving as one that I struggle to get over and indeed usually succumb to (last time I had one I got out of my comfy chair, got dressed, and at 10pm on a much colder night than this one, walked to the supermarket to get myself some damn ice cream- the subject of the craving at the time).

Not happy, and not sure what to do. This may well drive me mad.
 
:( I gave in. Fortunately, it was the last of the chocolate in the house, and I don't feel well enough to go to the shop, because I could've gone all binge crazy the way I was feeling. Four teaspoons of Cadbury drinking chocolate, one teaspoon of honey, and 170g of Greek yoghurt. Another 232 calories. And it wasn't even satisfying. I didn't enjoy it. I just wanted the craving to go away. And it didn't (then I had a kiwi fruit, and for some reason that's appeared to have worked).

The good news is there's no more chocolate left in the house so I won't be doing that again. The best news is that I haven't blown my calorie allowance for the day (although the fake chocolate yoghurt jumped me to 89%, and the kiwifruit to 91%). Not tragic, although I'm not terribly proud of myself either.

I need a better way around this- maybe I should start setting definitive plans (e.g. "if you don't go over your calorie allowance or eat anything "bad" for two weeks, you may have..." say a Lindt truffle). I haven't earned it yet, and after today I'm going to have to start again- I think two weeks is the minimum reasonable time to wait for that sort of thing (I'm trying to be tough but not give up that stuff entirely).

Bad end to today. I thought at least the diet was going ok, even though I felt awful- but no, I have to go and bugger that up too. :piggy: :piggy: :(
 
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