Always will be a fat man.........but

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maleficent said:
I hate throwing questions his way.... but steve's answered this countless times-- that when a person is plateaued - a potential solution is to take a break from the routine - eat at maintenance for a bit -then cut back again - you might gain a little poundage wise - but the long term effect -will be the weight starts to come off again at a reasonable pace.
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OK
I hear what you are saying now Mal. The issue is I am not eating that much below maintenance at this point. I figured with all I was doing- especially the running- I wanted to increase cals a bit so I reduced the risk of injury.
Knowing that I never expected a huge drop but I certainly did not expect to maintain.
Bah- maybe I need to start counting again- or measurements just to make sure I am on the right track.
 
Well, I need to post this or I will explode. No harm in it since if something bad happens I would probably post it here anyway.

After 4 years of trying, waiting, fertility treatments, IVF, AI, disappointment, anger, crying, giving up and starting again my wife and I got a positive pregnancy test last Friday. :D

This test was confirmed by another test on Saturday and 2 blood tests. The second results were received yesterday afternoon and showed a clear and healthy upward trend.:D
Thank you all who gave well wishes when we were under going the AI last month.
I have never been so happy and so scared in my entire life.

She is has a due date for early January 2009.:D
 
Bigguy said:
I know the scale mentality- really I do. I know that in principle the number means nothing- yet if most people who say that were asked honestly I really think they would say that it matters to them.
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So we conclude that a lot of people have trouble thinking logically.

So what?

Ask them why it matters and most won't be able to give a good answer. It's usually something arbitrary like it's the weight I've always wanted to be or it keeps me motivated.

Ok...

What if tomorrow our government and science changed the meaning of a pound? A new pound was slightly less than an old one. Due to the new metrics, you now weigh 205.

All else being equal too. Remember, you look a ton better, your clothes are fitting better, you registered the lowest waist measurement in ages....

It would take a number on the scale to prove all the above's worthiness?

I just don't get it one bit.
 
Bigguy said:
OK
I hear what you are saying now Mal. The issue is I am not eating that much below maintenance at this point. I figured with all I was doing- especially the running- I wanted to increase cals a bit so I reduced the risk of injury.
Knowing that I never expected a huge drop but I certainly did not expect to maintain.
Bah- maybe I need to start counting again- or measurements just to make sure I am on the right track.
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What are you basing your assumed 'maintenance' off of?
 
What are you basing your assumed 'maintenance' off of?
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Maintenance is off of a total BMR of around 2900 that was calculated online. I assume this is not 100% accurate but one needs to go off something.

What if tomorrow our government and science changed the meaning of a pound? A new pound was slightly less than an old one. Due to the new metrics, you now weigh 205.

All else being equal too. Remember, you look a ton better, your clothes are fitting better, you registered the lowest waist measurement in ages....

It would take a number on the scale to prove all the above's worthiness?
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As much as I wish I can argue with this, I cannot. I could say that you have never had the stigma of being overweight therefore you do not understand the power of the number- but that would be unfair. I can no more understand the issues you have and assumptions made about you being muscular and 'in shape'.
But in reality that is what it is. It is the stigma of being over a certain number all my life. Always being bigger/fatter than everyone else. Always being put down and belittled for it. It never matters how good you feel or what you can do or how you look- a comment can always change how you feel in an instant. The number eventually consumes you.
The number itself is not that important but the idea of not being 'overweight' is. The number is validation of that fact.

That's huge news on the pregnancy man! Congrats.
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Thank you.
 
Bigguy said:
Maintenance is off of a total BMR of around 2900 that was calculated online. I assume this is not 100% accurate but one needs to go off something.
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Certainly, I was just curious.

And BMR is BMR.

But did you allow that same online calc to determine your maintenance?

As much as I wish I can argue with this, I cannot. I could say that you have never had the stigma of being overweight therefore you do not understand the power of the number- but that would be unfair.
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Meh, it would be fair. It's a fact.

Not to harp on 'something you could say' but the thing with that take which has come up twice in as many days is, I've worked with some of the worst conditioned people most here would ever see. Very closely too. You tend to learn the mentality. While it could never be 100% without experience, I have a pretty darn good idea.

can no more understand the issues you have and assumptions made about you being muscular and 'in shape'.
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There are logical reasons for maintaining good health though.

But in reality that is what it is. It is the stigma of being over a certain number all my life. Always being bigger/fatter than everyone else. Always being put down and belittled for it. It never matters how good you feel or what you can do or how you look- a comment can always change how you feel in an instant. The number eventually consumes you.
The number itself is not that important but the idea of not being 'overweight' is. The number is validation of that fact.

I get that.

But why does the number have a greater impact and even erase the postives from things like measurements and reflexion.

The scale has always been the tool to let you know you're fat. So when the weight is stagnant, it leads to frustrations. That's logical.

But when stagnation is also accompanied by decreasing measurements and a drastically improved reflexion... that's where I have trouble understanding.

Especially when it's understood that the scale does not measure fatness. It measures weight. And you could very well be retaining water, have fluid flux, or be adding muscle. You just don't now.

So letting the number consume and frustrate you is pointless.

I know you know this.... I'm just thinking out loud.


Thank you.[/QUOTE]
 
Congratulations on your +. That is so exciting after 4 years and all you and your W have been through. Here's to a healthy and happy pregnancy :cheers2:

I also totally know what you mean about the number on the scale. I lost 9+ lbs in January, 6+ in February and then .6 in March. (I started lifting weights and running a lot more in March too, so I thought I should see the number decrease a lot more than it did). I was so upset when I was only .6 lbs less from Mar 1 to Apr 1. Just keep working and you'll see the results!
 
Steve said:
Certainly, I was just curious.

And BMR is BMR.

But did you allow that same online calc to determine your maintenance?
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I am honestly curious what you mean by this. I was under the impression that your BMR- with activity added- was your maintenance.



Not to harp on 'something you could say' but the thing with that take which has come up twice in as many days is, I've worked with some of the worst conditioned people most here would ever see. Very closely too. You tend to learn the mentality. While it could never be 100% without experience, I have a pretty darn good idea.
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You know I am not trying to strike a nerve with this. It is the whole 'a mile in their shoes' thing. It was not meant as a slight to you. Until you actually experience it first hand, to and about you, it will never register 100%.
You do understand this much better than most 'in shape' people I have heard/seen/spoken to.



why does the number have a greater impact and even erase the positives from things like measurements and reflexion.
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When the scale does not move it does not erase the positives- it emphasizes the negatives.
The scale has always been the tool to let you know you're fat. So when the weight is stagnant, it leads to frustrations. That's logical.

But when stagnation is also accompanied by decreasing measurements and a drastically improved reflexion... that's where I have trouble understanding.
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If you had a horrible relationship with your mother and a great one with your dad wouldn't you still want to good relationship with your mom? Most people want both- good measurements & peripherals plus a 'good' number on the scale- and are not happy with one or the other. I do not want to be 210 and look like crap. Nor do I want to look 'good' and be 240.
Especially when it's understood that the scale does not measure fatness. It measures weight. And you could very well be retaining water, have fluid flux, or be adding muscle. You just don't now.
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I agree completely.
So letting the number consume and frustrate you is pointless.
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people worry all the time about relatively pointless things. Weight is at least one that can be controlled though.
 
If you had a horrible relationship with your mother and a great one with your dad wouldn't you still want to good relationship with your mom?
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Horrible analogy - took me 35 years to realize that I will never have a good relationship with my mother -I'm so over it... It caused me entirely too much pain over the years to correct it.

Most people would give up and just go with what is working.... the horse dies at some point there's only so many times you can beat it... You have to please yourself -if the scale isn't pleasing you - then go with measurements because they are...
 
The point is though is you would still want it. For some length of time anyway.
I have not been doing this for an incredibly long time.
I have yet to beat the horse for near long enough to consider it overkill.

May not be the best analogy but it does kind of work....
 
ever hear the joke about the guy who goes to the doctor and makes some random odd movement -and says doc it hurts when i do that... and the doc says - well don't do that :)


If you d on't want to see that you look great (I'm ok with that) you do concede you look better than you did... And your health and stamina and other stuff is improving -why let something like the scale get you down... Who has to know what you weigh?

Look at the pictures forum - and look at all the comments... You don't look like you weigh XXX - What does 225 look like? you're a tall dude... weight is just a number...

Horse not quite dead yet... :D
 
maleficent said:
and that feeling probably won't go away for the next 20 or so years.. don't worry -for all your best efforts - you will screw up this child -every parent does :) or at least you'll get blamed for it :D
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I fully expect to mess up. That is my understanding of the joy of parenting. I just do not want to screw up in a "Dateline" or "Maury Povich" sort of spectacular way.

That's exciting - congratulations
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Kick it up a few days and we could be in the paper for the first child born in 2009 or something.:)

Thanks Mal.
 
Bigguy said:
The point is though is you would still want it. For some length of time anyway.
I have not been doing this for an incredibly long time.
I have yet to beat the horse for near long enough to consider it overkill.

May not be the best analogy but it does kind of work....
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It took me almost a year to get there.

You will get there eventually...I will throw you a coming out party :D
 
photocrazed said:
Congratulations on your +. That is so exciting after 4 years and all you and your W have been through. Here's to a healthy and happy pregnancy :cheers2:
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Thank you.
It was very odd seeing the "+" after all the times of not. This is the only time I have been happy that we are going through a fertility doc- we get like 7 ultrasounds, blood tests- all quantities that regular pregnancies do not get.

I also totally know what you mean about the number on the scale. I lost 9+ lbs in January, 6+ in February and then .6 in March. (I started lifting weights and running a lot more in March too, so I thought I should see the number decrease a lot more than it did). I was so upset when I was only .6 lbs less from Mar 1 to Apr 1. Just keep working and you'll see the results!
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I know I will see results eventually again. I just got frustrated this morning- all the damn work I have been doing and all...
All is good though. All is good.:D
 
maleficent said:
ever hear the joke about the guy who goes to the doctor and makes some random odd movement -and says doc it hurts when i do that... and the doc says - well don't do that :)


If you d on't want to see that you look great (I'm ok with that) you do concede you look better than you did... And your health and stamina and other stuff is improving -why let something like the scale get you down... Who has to know what you weigh?

Look at the pictures forum - and look at all the comments... You don't look like you weigh XXX - What does 225 look like? you're a tall dude... weight is just a number...

Horse not quite dead yet... :D
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You are right, I know you are right.....
But c'mon- This is my first real attempt ever at losing weight. Aren't I allowed a little room to whine??
Please:)

What does 225 look like?
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Looks like the atttached......
 
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