Alligatorob's Diary

That would be so hard, Rob. I'm glad we don't have any Christmas cookies lying around to tempt me. I do have sweets (Ferrero Rocher chocolates & rich French chocolate-covered wafers) shut away in a sweets bucket deep in the pantry that I can bring out when we have visitors. I can pretend they are not there. Some things I can't have in the house though.
 
Not a great day, but not the worst. I had a cookie binge, not really sure how many but I tried to record it... otherwise I ate well. Kind of like the old joke "Other than that Ms Lincoln how did you like the play". I did get in some good exercise and hope that by posting it here future bingeing will be limited. I know posting helps.

Tomorrow I go back to the spine surgeon, with a new MRI. I am worried my strenght is not improving much, a little but not much. I am still weaker than pre surgery. Will see what he says.

Got 320 lbs of bananas today... I saw some interesting youtube videos on making banana brandy a while back so I put the word out that I could use some bulk excess bananas. A friend told me of a place in Ogden giving away excess ones this afternoon. So I drove down and they had a mountain of them to get rid of. I said I might want 3 or 4 (40 lb) boxes, but before I knew it they had loaded 8 into my truck. I told them I probably could not use so many, but they just said give them away, they were going to waste. Fortunately the food bank in town wanted some so I got rid of 5 boxes. Now all I have to do is figure out how to make 120 lbs of banana brandy.
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Having to walk past high-calorie treats several times a day is hard. Could you ask your wife to hide them? Out of sight, out of mind.
A bit of a sore point, when I ask she always just says if you don't want them don't eat them. She doesn't really understand my problem... And she has a bit of a point, when my binges take off I can find something, no matter how hidden. I don't blame her for today's binge, no one to blame but myself...
That would be so hard, Rob. I'm glad we don't have any Christmas cookies lying around to tempt me. I do have sweets (Ferrero Rocher chocolates & rich French chocolate-covered wafers) shut away in a sweets bucket deep in the pantry that I can bring out when we have visitors. I can pretend they are not there. Some things I can't have in the house though.
It is hard, but the world is full of temptations, just have to figure out how to live with it I guess.
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There are a lot of things I don't understand but when I like a person I still try to be supportive 🤷‍♀️ But hey: we all have our issues.
That's so many bananas! I wish my allergy cleared up so I could help eat them all :p Good to hear the foodbank took some so they won't go to waste. Bananas are probably the easiest fruit for a lot of people: they clearly show how ripe they are and they're nice and sweet so most folks like them.
 
There are a lot of things I don't understand but when I like a person I still try to be supportive 🤷‍♀️ But hey: we all have our issues.
Did not mean to suggest that my wife isn't supportive, on most things she is, this is the only sore point. And I am not really sure how much difference it makes.
 
oh gosh what a haul of bananas--and yes very good the food bank could take some as well.
I have to laugh that you would go get those to now have to process after finally finishing all that work with all your peaches!

Too bad about the cookie binge. I am the same way--I can't have them in the house--part of me likes to eat them even to just get rid of them so I'm not thinking about them all the time. I'm getting a little better with that but for the most part I like to have my sweets out of the house. Hard when you're sharing living space with a person who doesn't have the same issue though!
 
It is funny that you should go out of your way to get a whole lot more work after dealing with so many peaches. I guess you just like to be busy & have projects. Do you have a dehydrator, Rob?
 
Today was a good day, ate well, exercised and I feel good tonight. I think I must have missed something on the food log, I don't feel like I only ate about 1,000 calories. I'd have a cookie or two before bed, but am afraid of what that would lead to...

Dr visit was ok. He looked at my MRI and said it looked fine to him, no reason for my weakness, and no need to do any more surgery. He said it could take 6 months for my nerves to heal and strength to return, and its only been 2 months so I should just be patient. He wants me to keep up the physical therapy and come back to see him again in about a month. So I guess I will...
That's so many bananas! I wish my allergy cleared up so I could help eat them all :p Good to hear the foodbank took some so they won't go to waste. Bananas are probably the easiest fruit for a lot of people: they clearly show how ripe they are and they're nice and sweet so most folks like them.
I like bananas, when I lived in Florida I always grew bananas, but only got a crop every few years. They always bloomed but to ripen we had to have a mild winter, no frost, not even close. Most winters were not that mild. When the bananas did ripen we would have something like 100 all ripe on the same day and only 2 or 3 days to eat them or do something with them. I wasn't in the brandy thing then so we ate a lot, and gave more away to friends. They were small bananas with a triangular cross section, and very strongly banana flavored. Never seen anything like them in the store.
oh gosh what a haul of bananas--and yes very good the food bank could take some as well.
I was happy the food bank took most of them, I still have more than enough left for brandy. They are still a bit green, but hope to start processing them this weekend.
Too bad about the cookie binge. I am the same way--I can't have them in the house--part of me likes to eat them even to just get rid of them so I'm not thinking about them all the time. I'm getting a little better with that but for the most part I like to have my sweets out of the house. Hard when you're sharing living space with a person who doesn't have the same issue though!
Good to know I am not alone! The way I look at it is if I can't resist them I will always find a way to get food. Fast food and convivence stores are too close and easy. They are the easiest place to start a binge, but I am not sure that I wouldn't start one anyway. Its not the ease of the food, but the binge drive that's the problem. For me anyway.
It is funny that you should go out of your way to get a whole lot more work after dealing with so many peaches. I guess you just like to be busy & have projects. Do you have a dehydrator, Rob?
My wife will be dehydrating a couple of bunches, maybe 5 or 10 of the 120 lbs I have left after the foodbank. The timing on this isn't great, but as I said I've been looking for a while and yesterday the bananas were availably. Another chance might not come along for a while. The bigger challenge may be what to do with all the brandy. If I were to drink it myself, at my current alcohol consumption rate I already have a lifetime supply. So either I'll have to take up alcoholism, or give a lot away.
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Bananas in grocery stores all come from clones so it's no surprise you've never seen anything like the ones you used to grow. An ex had two banana plants in his living room: one year it got super hot while we were away on vacation and apparently the heat and/or drought stress was enough to make them bloom. It took forever but one of them ended up producing a couple of small bananas with an almost triangular cross-section which were super banana-y. So maybe they were the same as yours. And now I realize that the history of my banana allergy can't be more than 15 years long. Interesting.
 
Giving away the alcohol probably won't be a problem. I'm glad your visit to the doctor was a positive one overall. You still seem able to have a good workout at the gym & probably are much fitter than most people our age, Rob.
 
Yesterday was not a great day, did well until dinner, we went out for Mexican. Even then I did not do too badly, but binged on chocolate when I got home...

Today was better, I was too busy to make much food, but what I did eat was fine. And I feel good tonight.

Very busy day, I chopped up 100 lbs of soft gooey bananas. Yesterday I hit them with a hammer to bruise, that worked real well. Left the peals on, they are supposed to contain the enzymes to convert the banana starch to sugar. After chopping I added some sugar, water, and yeast. It's all fermenting now. I had no idea how much work cutting up those bananas would be, it took almost 6 hours just to do that, mixing etc also took time. And we got snow last night so I had to plow and shovel, exhauster now.
Bananas in grocery stores all come from clones so it's no surprise you've never seen anything like the ones you used to grow. An ex had two banana plants in his living room: one year it got super hot while we were away on vacation and apparently the heat and/or drought stress was enough to make them bloom. It took forever but one of them ended up producing a couple of small bananas with an almost triangular cross-section which were super banana-y. So maybe they were the same as yours. And now I realize that the history of my banana allergy can't be more than 15 years long. Interesting.
That's interesting you must have grown a relative of mine. I think bananas are probably like most fruit, they taste a lot better tree ripened than from the store. Sorry to hear about your banana allergy, they are good food. And hopefully make good brandy.
Giving away the alcohol probably won't be a problem. I'm glad your visit to the doctor was a positive one overall. You still seem able to have a good workout at the gym & probably are much fitter than most people our age, Rob.
Thanks Cate, and yes giving away alcohol is surprisingly easy! I don't know about much fitter than others, I am however much fitter than I would be without the exercise.
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Fitter than you would be without exercise and fitter than you were 5 years ago. Both are great.
6 hours of smashing bananas is kind of insane :eek: Aren't you terribly sore now?
 
I binged last night after posting... Oh well, on to a new day.
Fitter than you would be without exercise and fitter than you were 5 years ago. Both are great.
Thanks Llama, and both are very true.
6 hours of smashing bananas is kind of insane :eek: Aren't you terribly sore now?
No, bananas don't seem to be a great workout.
Smashing bananas would also be a lot of fun!
I think I missed that part...
 
Rob, you are trapped in binge-restriction cycling. You have been here for years. YOU ARE EATING TOO FEW CALORIES AND OVEREXERCISING and that is why you are bingeing. Your body knows it but your mind is telling you differently. You are a human being with daily adult calorie requirements. You are not an exception to this rule despite how you think you feel and what your thoughts are telling you. That is the disorder, it is not a mystery. Many people struggle with this exact thing. It is a long way out but you can heal from it. You have to want out, and you have to change your behavior first and then the thoughts will start changing. 💜💜💜
 
Rob, you are trapped in binge-restriction cycling. You have been here for years.
Yep, had to think about it a while, but that pretty much describes how I have eaten all of my life... Sometimes more restricting, sometimes more bingeing.
YOU ARE EATING TOO FEW CALORIES AND OVEREXERCISING and that is why you are bingeing.
How much exercise do you think is too much? And I can certainly binge even when not doing much restricting or exercising. Not sure what the connection is.
Your body knows it but your mind is telling you differently. You are a human being with daily adult calorie requirements. You are not an exception to this rule despite how you think you feel and what your thoughts are telling you. That is the disorder, it is not a mystery. Many people struggle with this exact thing. It is a long way out but you can heal from it. You have to want out, and you have to change your behavior first and then the thoughts will start changing. 💜💜💜
I think you have been active in OA, how has it worked for you? What are you doing differently?

I appreciate you thinking of me after so long. It is good to hear from you, the other Rob.
 
Today was a pretty good day, for having a cold. But it is getting better. Weather is very cold and snowy. The snow is very dry and light, and blowing in the wind. Not comfortable. I managed to get out to plow snow today and within an hour the snow put it all back...
Depends. Using it to smash bananas or chop wood seems fine.
Good point! To be honest I don't think I am particularly aggressive. I do get stubborn sometimes about doing what I want, but don't force others to.
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