There comes a point when you realize that you are your own worst enemy. I have reached that point......
My name is Alicia and I am tired of feeling like hell.
Growing up I was a skinny kid. As a teenager I had a fabulous shape and weighted between 100-110lbs. We always ate well, balanced, home grown, etc thanks to my mother. I always loved my Pepsi and chips but it never caused a problem with my weight so....woo hoo.
I remained naturally thin and active into my early 20's. My girlfriends looked at me green with envy, as they struggled with their weight I was a size 3 with 4 pack abs, smoking a pack a day and eating Taco Bell. I figured I just got lucky, I was blessed with good genetics....
At the age of 24 I noticed a change. I started feeling sluggish, always battling some sort of illness, always tired. I noticed that I put a few pounds on, maybe 5 or so. I spent plenty of time in the Dr's office asking what the deal was. The Dr. coughed it up to being "hormonal" and it's "just something women have to deal with". As I walked out the door she followed up with a smirk and "ya know honey, you can be thin forever".
The weight gain leveled off, I was feeling better, the rest went to the back of my mind. I was working out here and there but still smoking like a chimney. At this point I was working 3 jobs so decent nutrition was lacking to say the least.
The year 2005 is a blur to say the least. There was so much upheavel in my life that year. I had quit smoking and things were working out great. Come summer, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer (she quit smoking 10 years prior). She lasted 4 months. A month before she passed I started smoking again as a "way out" for a few moments while I was living at the hospital with her. She was disappointed in me, she understood, but she also made me promise to quit for good when I was ready. After that my life spun out of control. I was an emotional mess.
In early 2006 I was diagnosed with severe insomnia. I was up for days at a time....without even a nap. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. I reacted poorly to everything they gave me in pill form. I couldn't drive, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything but drag myself to work. In a few short months I went from 128 to 107 lbs. I was "sick" in every sense of the word. I finally reached a point where I took charge of my situation. I gave up on the meds and let my body (not the Dr.) decide what works. It was a process but eventually I recovered. Neddless to say, the meds had thrown my metabolisim for a loop. It was naturally fast, then on pure speed from the meds, then crashed and burned from me stopping all of it. My weight kept creeping up bit by bit. I had my thyroid tested but everything always came back fine.
In 2007 I married my husband in Jamaica. When I left I was 137lbs. Ten days later I returned at a lovely 144lbs. I was amazed, I gained 7lbs in 10 days....how is that possible? I kinda freaked, started working out here and there, watched what I ate, etc etc. I never lost it.
Now, here we are 2009. I am 155lbs of misery. I smoke to much, I eat junk, I'm tired all the time. I feel awful yet I seem to always have an excuse not to do something about it....Work too much (65 hrs+ a week), 2 dogs, 2 cats, house to run, husband to feed, 8 year old every other weekend. You name it, I used it as an excuse. In April, my 27 year old husband was diagnosed with Cancer. He underwent 2 operations and seems to be doing quite well. Now that the dust has settled a little the reality is setting in....what the hell have we done to ourselves?
For the last two months I've changed the way we eat. Whole Grains, no soda, no fast food....balanced. Almost instantly we started feeling better. Neither one of us can join a gym, we live far, we really do work crazy hours, and funds are limited. I'd much rather dedicate myself to something I know I CAN do then set unrealistic goals for myself. We kicked around P90X, we toyed with the idea of digging out the Bowflex, we hemmed and hawed about a lot of stuff. Finally, I found the Insanity Workout.
In my mind, I already know that I am outta my league. It's crazy, it's tough, I will probably collapse at some point but I think it's just what I need. I'm doubting that I will gain weight from quitting smoking if I dedicate myself to something like this. I have spent weeks researching workouts, proper nutrition, and everything else I could get my hands on. Both my husband and I are excited, we are actually motivated. This coming January we are going on a company cruise and we are determined to feel good about baring skin infront of our coworkers.
This blog is going to be my savior, I know it already. I need support. I need to see that others have faced their demons and won the battle. I am thrilled to be here and be a part of all this. Hopefully I can help everyone else as much as I know you will be helping me.
I plan to update my diary as much as possible. I am looking forward to reading all of yours.
Have a great day!
My name is Alicia and I am tired of feeling like hell.
Growing up I was a skinny kid. As a teenager I had a fabulous shape and weighted between 100-110lbs. We always ate well, balanced, home grown, etc thanks to my mother. I always loved my Pepsi and chips but it never caused a problem with my weight so....woo hoo.
I remained naturally thin and active into my early 20's. My girlfriends looked at me green with envy, as they struggled with their weight I was a size 3 with 4 pack abs, smoking a pack a day and eating Taco Bell. I figured I just got lucky, I was blessed with good genetics....
At the age of 24 I noticed a change. I started feeling sluggish, always battling some sort of illness, always tired. I noticed that I put a few pounds on, maybe 5 or so. I spent plenty of time in the Dr's office asking what the deal was. The Dr. coughed it up to being "hormonal" and it's "just something women have to deal with". As I walked out the door she followed up with a smirk and "ya know honey, you can be thin forever".
The weight gain leveled off, I was feeling better, the rest went to the back of my mind. I was working out here and there but still smoking like a chimney. At this point I was working 3 jobs so decent nutrition was lacking to say the least.
The year 2005 is a blur to say the least. There was so much upheavel in my life that year. I had quit smoking and things were working out great. Come summer, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer (she quit smoking 10 years prior). She lasted 4 months. A month before she passed I started smoking again as a "way out" for a few moments while I was living at the hospital with her. She was disappointed in me, she understood, but she also made me promise to quit for good when I was ready. After that my life spun out of control. I was an emotional mess.
In early 2006 I was diagnosed with severe insomnia. I was up for days at a time....without even a nap. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. I reacted poorly to everything they gave me in pill form. I couldn't drive, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything but drag myself to work. In a few short months I went from 128 to 107 lbs. I was "sick" in every sense of the word. I finally reached a point where I took charge of my situation. I gave up on the meds and let my body (not the Dr.) decide what works. It was a process but eventually I recovered. Neddless to say, the meds had thrown my metabolisim for a loop. It was naturally fast, then on pure speed from the meds, then crashed and burned from me stopping all of it. My weight kept creeping up bit by bit. I had my thyroid tested but everything always came back fine.
In 2007 I married my husband in Jamaica. When I left I was 137lbs. Ten days later I returned at a lovely 144lbs. I was amazed, I gained 7lbs in 10 days....how is that possible? I kinda freaked, started working out here and there, watched what I ate, etc etc. I never lost it.
Now, here we are 2009. I am 155lbs of misery. I smoke to much, I eat junk, I'm tired all the time. I feel awful yet I seem to always have an excuse not to do something about it....Work too much (65 hrs+ a week), 2 dogs, 2 cats, house to run, husband to feed, 8 year old every other weekend. You name it, I used it as an excuse. In April, my 27 year old husband was diagnosed with Cancer. He underwent 2 operations and seems to be doing quite well. Now that the dust has settled a little the reality is setting in....what the hell have we done to ourselves?
For the last two months I've changed the way we eat. Whole Grains, no soda, no fast food....balanced. Almost instantly we started feeling better. Neither one of us can join a gym, we live far, we really do work crazy hours, and funds are limited. I'd much rather dedicate myself to something I know I CAN do then set unrealistic goals for myself. We kicked around P90X, we toyed with the idea of digging out the Bowflex, we hemmed and hawed about a lot of stuff. Finally, I found the Insanity Workout.
In my mind, I already know that I am outta my league. It's crazy, it's tough, I will probably collapse at some point but I think it's just what I need. I'm doubting that I will gain weight from quitting smoking if I dedicate myself to something like this. I have spent weeks researching workouts, proper nutrition, and everything else I could get my hands on. Both my husband and I are excited, we are actually motivated. This coming January we are going on a company cruise and we are determined to feel good about baring skin infront of our coworkers.
This blog is going to be my savior, I know it already. I need support. I need to see that others have faced their demons and won the battle. I am thrilled to be here and be a part of all this. Hopefully I can help everyone else as much as I know you will be helping me.
I plan to update my diary as much as possible. I am looking forward to reading all of yours.
Have a great day!
