About to cry...I need a hug...

L

Lookin4MyAbs

New member
Okay I'm sorry for being dramatic, but my weight problem has finally hit home in a bad way. I am a member of this dance group that marches in Mardi Gras parades and I've been with them for five years. I love dancing and every summer I can't wait until we start back up again. We just had our first practice a week ago, and like usual, I checked out everyone else to see where I stood on the "fat scale". I've never been the thinnest, but now I am among the biggest people on the team. I am not just doing this out of vain, I am doing it because you can be put on probation for your weight. Now at the practice we had a little meeting since it was the first one and the lady who runs it talked about how we all need to get in shape, blah, blah,blah. Which I knew she was talking about me, among others.

Well, I just got a phone call today from her personally. She was very, very nice about it, but basically the gist of it was that if I don't lose the weight, I'm welcome to chaperone but not be in the parades. I think I have until about December to get in shape.

I have no plans of telling my husband or mother about this, because they'll get on the defensive, which I know is because they love me. But really this lady is very nice and she's right. I mean I'm fed up with myself,too. But I'm so scared of failing. I've been disgusted with myself since February of 08, and I kept thinking I would do it and lose the weight and it didn't happen because I didn't get my butt of the coach. 10 months ago I thought that by now I would be in great shape, coming to dance practice in a sports bra and shorts, and yet here I am, still fat.

I have gotten started, but only in the past three weeks and I've only lost 3 pounds. My goal is to be 140 for December first, which would be about 15 pounds less than I was for parade time earlier this year. But that means losing between 2 and 2.5 pounds a week. I am trying to turn this into a positive thing, like maybe THIS will be finally the time for me to change. In fact, as soon as I got off the phone with her I put in an exercise tape and got to work. But I still feel like crying because I will feel so dumb if I don't get to dance because I'm too fat. To make matters worse, there is a girl on the team that I'm not exactly really good friends with, but I've known her for about 12 years and a strong wind would blow her away. I don't want her to know about this, and she definitely will if I fail.

I'm sorry for the sob story, but I'm home alone now and I want to keep this a secret from everyone I know, so this is the only place I could come. I guess I just need a "virtual" hug. Thanks for reading.
 
Hi there. I'm sorry for the stress you're going through. I can only imagine how hard this must be on you.

I have a few thoughts for you. First of all, I think you need to know that 2 -2.5 lbs a week is an EXTREMELY ambitious goal - one that I'm not entirely sure is achievable. I'm not at all saying that to discourage you ... but I think you do need to be realistic.

A generally accepted healthy rate of loss is about 1% of your body weight per week. For you that would be around 1.5 - 2 lbs a week. I really strongly advise you to aim for that target. At that rate, you'll have lost 20+ lbs by the beginning of Dec and have a good foundation to keep going.

Even at that rate, it will require you to be very strict with yourself; to eat properly and exercise faithfully and with a good intensity. If I were you, I wouldn't deprive yourself of the support of your family at this time - you'll need their help as well.

Start off by reading the sticky posts in the forums - there's a lot of good information on nutrition, calories, and especially exercise that you can do to maximize fat loss (as opposed to losing muscle).

I know you can make a significant difference in nearly 3 months - even if it's not the 50 lbs you want it to be. :)
 
Thanks. I know 2-2.5 pounds a week is a pretty tough goal. But I will not beat myself up over it if I can't attain it. I've done this enough times to know that losing something, however small, is good. But it kind of gives me something to strive for, and if I can only do 2 pounds per week, that's fine. Also I messed up before, I meant my goal is to be 140 by February 1st, not December 1st. (And that would be the 2-2.5 pounds per week). But I have a sort of a mini goal now of losing somewhere in the neighborhood of 20-30 pounds by Dec. 1st.

I am not denying myself the support of my family during weightloss, they already know I'm trying to be healthier. I just don't want to tell them about the dance team situation, unless I have to.

I know if I lose 20-30 pounds by Dec. 1st, that will be great. But I really hope that's enough to stay on the team. Sometimes when you lose weight, your size doesn't change that much.

Thanks for your advice. I appreciate it!
 
Thanks. I know 2-2.5 pounds a week is a pretty tough goal. But I will not beat myself up over it if I can't attain it.
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Gotcha. :) Some people set really tough goals for themselves and when they don't make it, they give up. It's one of the things I try to mention at the very beginning when I'm giving advice.

One thing I'd emphasize is that you look into weight lifting - there are several stickies on the exercise board, including one targeted to women. Lifting weights properly will really help reshape your body and burn fat ... and ultimately for you it's as much about the shape of your body, right, to make sure you can stay on with the team! :)

I'm sure you can do this - you have a great reason to stay motivated and stick to your goals.
 
i think your goal is very attainable and you can definitely do it if you can stay motivated and active. read through the forums and the stickies. they can really help you out through the thick and thin of weight loss. good job on making the first steps. good job on wanting to stick with it. keep going. you can do this.
 
Thanks both of you. My routine right now does include lifting weights every other day. Some days I do my cardio on my elliptical and use dumbbells after, other days I pop in these DVDs called the FIRM where cardio and weights are mixed together. It changes up the pace for me.

A few years back I discovered what a difference lifting weights makes. I always used to yo-yo the same 15 or so pounds throughout high school, but my clothing size would stay the same no matter what I weighed. And then one summer while I was in college it was time to drop those 15 pounds again, but this time I added weight lifting. I lost the 15 pounds, but even better, I went from a size 14 to a size 8! (The smallest I had been since I was a kid.)
So definitely size, more than weight, matters to me with regards to the dance team, and really life in general.

Thanks for all of your support. I think this situation with the dance team will be the thing that turns my life around. :)
 
Hello!!

You can do this! You have something to strive for, however, I would suggest trying to find intrinsic motivators for losing weight as well. Such as your health. Try to do it for yourself and not somebody else :)

Like others have said, your goal is attainable!! I'd also suggest maybe starting a journal...it's a great way to write down your thoughts and track your progress as well as get some great support from everyone here :)

Goodluck!!!!! :)
 
Hi Kino! Thanks for your input. I do want to lose weight and get in shape for my health also. I can tell every time I pick up something heavy at the store, and when I dance, that it is just harder on my body carrying this extra weight.

My other main reason for wanting to accomplish this is that in the next couple of years my husband and I want to start our family, and I want to be at a healthy weight so my body can support my future child to the best of its ability. It will be a lot better on me and the baby if I am in shape and healthy. I also want to raise my children to have good eating habits. Even though this is another great motivator for me, it seems far off and kind of intangible because it won't be for another couple of years because of financial reasons also. The dance team thing is an event that is going to effect me sooner, so I think it's the little bit more of motivation that I need.

I've never really been a journal person, but I should try to start one.

Thanks again everyone, and good luck to you on reaching your goals!
 
hey there.... sorry about the phone call you received... im sure that was a very big bummer! I know it kind of hits you in the gut like the wind was knocked out of you when that stuff happens....


think of it as a challange now.... it might be just what you needed to push you to try harder and really jump start your weight loss!!! i know something like that is what pushed me to try harder....


best of luck hun! Here is a virtual hug though from me to you!!! :)

chin up!:hug2:
 
Hey again!

Losing weight for your future baby is an excellent motivator :)

Best of luck to you!
 
Hello,

I know you can do it. I just lost a huge amount of weight in the last year. On the 9th of this month was one year. I did it by myself ' no surgery' I knew it was time to move forward with my life.

Short BIO...Over the last couple of years I lost my mom,sister,my last sister has stage 4 cancer. thats just the tip of the bad things that have been going on in my life.

It just came to a point where I was taking care of everyone in my life except me.

I am Irish and we get a little hot headed over alot of things ,like that phone call i would have told her where to put it and then asked her to show me the groups rules regarding weight... Not to lie I am sure part of it would have been wht she was saying was the truth regarding my weight. The other part would have been the Irish part.

You are a strong women who can love herself enough to want to look the best you think you need to look..
 
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