A sad ad dieu to the twinkies....

A

Ashie

New member
I can not lie, I am a slave to my tongue. Although my butt, arms, and thighs, feel like it's time for a revolution, this tyrant is not giving up her reign without a fight.

I am truly afraid to face my addiction to sugar and carbs. I realised it last night actually. I had made a commitment to myself yesterday to begin a new healthy regiment come Monday morning, and all of sudden this sense of panic consumed me. It that was the undercurrent of my emotional state for the whole day yesterday and I literally inhaled anything I could find, to soothe the anxiety away, but to no avail. It was pretty evident that it was time to find a new coping mechanism b/c this one had landed me at 250 lbs (ouch that was hard to say) and that is when I realised that, maybe I do need some help from fellow travelers down this steep and slippery edge of weight loss. And so here I am

The one question that keeps looping through my head is, what if this weight is cemented on to me? What if it never comes off? What if I am doomed to be FAT for the rest of my days? And the answer that I came up with was this.....If I don't bloody try, then how will I ever know?? What's the worst thing that will happen? I will still look the same after a month? Ok but at least you can say YOU TRIED!

God helps those who help themselves and instead of sitting here stuffing my face hoping for some divine intervention, (I really do pray for a miracle, that will shrink my bootie, while I munch on that twinkie, but God is having none of it!) really hasn't been helping my state of affairs.

So maybe being a bit more accountable to myself as I record my journey here and being heard by those who understand won't make this undertaking so daunting and scary. And maybe just maybe, I will one day get to say, I too am a success story.

And so begins the journey.

Good things to you all.
Ciao for now
 
So as I stated earlier, it's time for a revolution!
I feel better just knowing that I have this spot in the universe to just spill my guts out and not be judged or accused of being obsessed about my weight. I can talk and talk and discover and ponder with out judgement and that feels really good, there is a sense of freedom in knowing that.

Sooo the plan of action?

First things first, I need to clean up my eating, and the only way I can do that is become mindful of what I am putting in my mouth hence the need for a food journal. It is a rather tedious thing to have to do, but I think that's b/c I have been eating so much crap that I just haven't had the courage to record it all down. Now if I am going to limit what and how much I eat, it really should be such a labor.

Secondly, WATER! My insides must believe there is a drought of some sort going on b/c it has been SO long since I have actually drank my daily requirements of water. Laziness is the simple answer to that....So I have filled up my 2L jugs of water and my water bottle is also full, so time to start sipping away.

Third, and the most difficult task of all.....putting on my sneakers and going for that walk I keep promising to do 'tomorrow'. I have a bad habit of wanting to do too much at once that it seems so daunting that I just say 'never mind'. So I have decided instead of walking the entire neighbourhood today, I will walk for maybe half an hour, it's a start right?

I have to keep reminding myself that this is going to be a slow process and that I need to stick with it, I am not going to magically wake up tomorrow and be looking like a super model. Doesn't mean I will never get there, but just that I have to accept that it is going to be a long journey.

Please be patient with me, I may be on here a dozen times a day just to blab, it seems to make me feel a bit better.....

Good things to you all.
Ciao for now
 
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Hi Ashie! Well, now that is something I would love to sink my teeth into. A twinkie, fortunately for me there are none of those in the house right now. Rest assured, if there were they wouldn't be around for long. I am craving sugar today like a mad woman! Yep, you read that right! I can see myself, scouring down one of those potent little morsels, like a reckless driver.

Awe..the sugar addiction.

So, you have a plan, well now that is a starting point, and we all have to start somewhere. Walking is a good way to get you started on your journey. I've been walking twice a day, 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening. And it has helped. Walking is a great form of exercise, so that's a great plan.

I hope we can motivate each other through this "long" journey.
 
Dear Ashie!Welcome to the forum!:waving:

The first thing i must say that is stuck in my head after reading is that your weight IS NOT stuck on you~I know its hard to belive it , maybe from being overweight too long but please BELIVE me.You weight is there , ON YOU cause you've been eating to many calories and not burning enough off.So When you reverse that by eating less calories and burning aswell you will see the difference girl!You can be ABSOLUTLY SURE of that!

Now i aswell came here in need of dieting and with my diary and support from freinds i have lost some kg\s.
The most important thing i have learned is that everyone has a calorie ammount they should consume a)to maintain weight b)to loose weight and c)to put on weight!(not needed for us!!!)
So i'll find that link a friend gave me and check it out!

No need to go hungry!Just cut out the junck at least for your begining , then allow some but in controll.You will see that if you're serious about it you WILL LOOSE THE WEIGHT and we are all here for you!

I will also recomend you taking a beggining photo of yourself even if you dont want to publish it here , keep it.Then for evey lets say 7 pounds u loose take another in the same undies same position and compare!U will be suprised and its the best thing to keep EVIDENCE of your progress.
Will come back shortly with the link
 
Rest assured, if there were they wouldn't be around for long. I am craving sugar today like a mad woman!
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Hey Lynnde, do tell how you get through those mad moments!?! I, right now feel like I may keel over if I don't have a cookie. I know normalizing my sugar levels will take a few days, but holy Lord! It sucks! I know I just need to hang in there and it will all be worth it, but right now I am battling my wits.

And Dearest Jasper, thank you for your encouragement and the link, I will be sure to look it over later on tonight. In my rational mind I know, that I am eating more calories, than expending and I just need to change the equation, but in my irrational mind, I keep thinking what if I am that weird anomaly that is stuck with her weight forever. But I am just being crazy lol...

I will take a beginning shot for sure and no, I don't think I will be posting it quite yet, not ready for total public exposure yet.

Thank you both for the encouragement.
The first step is always the hardest, but I am grateful I am not alone :)
 
Well you've taken your first step and thats great.You're so not alone!We all are trying our very best to get the weight off!Here we can support each other and learn so much!
 
The brawl is getting outta control!

So this is a serious show down! The sugar demons, aren't going to go without a bloody fight. They are vicious, and aggressive. And I need to get my butt in gear and kick their a**es. But I am still trying to figure out how?

Why don't I just 'get' it? Why hasn't it just clicked for me?

I know I am an emotional eater and I know I am eating for comfort and I know I am caught in a horrible cycle. When I feel low I eat, then I feel crappy for having soothed my myself with food, so I eat to make that feel better, and then I feel guilty for letting myself down, and then I get really miserable and then I eat again.

Ok so I am mindful of what I am doing after the fact. But it's like something takes over and I am not even aware that that I am simply eating what comes to hand, until after when I am feeling rather ill.

I don't want to be this way anymore.

Why do I not feel myself worthy? Why do I not want to protect the sacredness I have been blessed with? Why don't I want to be beautiful?

I don't understand why I won't just do it, it's not that I can't, but somehow I am just not willing to.....But why?

I am so frustrated I could cry.....
 
Oh no please dont be sad.
YOu have been an emotional eater for SO long its just a bit difficult to get started.YOU |HAVE ADMITTED AND HAVE STARTED A DIARY and that is GOOD.
You will have to fight it.BUt you re in the right path just for thinking that you want to change.BELIVE ME YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I dont know any tricks to share but i DO know that if possible when getting the urge to eat crap come online here and speak to us ,, it will help to get the support you need if you dont have anybody near you to comfort you
Please dont be sad if you have made a mistake by eating a lot of crap.Learn from it and try again.
 
Now ive taken a look at your diary again.You should start writing down what you have eaten.To keep track.Somebody told me is a good idea to write down how you are feeling eveytime you eat so you can SEE the mistakes you are making.Lets say lunch a had a big mac i was feeling down cause i had a fight with bf.Next day Dinner had a salad with chicken i was feeling happy something like that.Then maybe you could see exactly what feeling you must fight and find another way of dealing with it
 
I want to be a success story but I am my own worst enemy. This weight issue has become an obsession and the more I think about it, the more crazy it is making me.

I had a frank conversation with my mom and she thinks I simply lack discipline and when I look at all the great progress on here, and see how determined and how hard individuals are willing to work towards their success, I think maybe she is right and wonder why don't I have that same fire?

I hate how I am, but yet I don't make the changes to fix it...I wish I understood why I am the way I am. I

Maybe I should address this underlying fear that I carry around in every part of my life. The fear of failure, of not being successful, of not being able to do it. But why can't I do it? What is any less in me than anyone else that would stop me from doing it?

So many questions that need answering....I hope that I find the answers I need before it's too late and this obesity ripples into something more serious i.e diabetes, cancer etc. etc......
 
Oh and Jasper I just wanted to say Thank you....you are such a positive and encouraging personality and you have the ability to truly lift the spirit with your wonderful energy. I am glad there are ppl like you around here on the forum, it truly is encouraging
 
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