A new start for Iwan

Ahhh, another day. I'm working on my morning coffee and breakfast right now, along with also working out my loan application. I've decided to pursue my dream of owning and opporating a cafe.

Crazy you say? of course I am. That and if I want to fill a whole in this community it is in the cafe/diner sector. We have 8 restaurants on the island and not a single on is a sit down and chill out kind of place. We have fancy, we have casual, we have mexican (twice), pizza, korean/asian, sushi and bar food. and we have a drive though coffee shop, but nowhere you can go and get a cup of coffee and a fat free low cal muffin and sit down and enjoy it while enjoying conversation with locals or read a book. I have lofty plans. As does my mom who would like to organize a lecture series to take place in the cafe (she's an herbalist). So, yeah, working on my loan apps.

I have been struggling with the munchies in the evening. All winter I combatted this problem by just going to bed early. But its summer time now and the sun doesn't go away till 1am and then comes back up at 5am. I have been a bad snacking girl all week. somebody who's not afraid of getting hit back should spank me for being such a shameless glutton. I'm my own worst enemy (especially when it comes to food).

Anyways, it sounds like the construction crew is at it now...think I'll take my morning cup of coffe out on the porch and oogle them. Too bad its morning and not hot enough yet to force the road crew out of their shirts.
 
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I think arond mid day you should be an angel of mercy and put on your sassiest outfit and wander over with some fresh lemonade :)
 
Lol, they already consider me the angel of mercy, I let someone use the bathroom a few days ago in a bathroom related emergency. You can't get much more merciful then that.
 
LOL you are a brazen hussy Mal. To Have or Have Not is a great movie though. I think that the cafe sounds like a fun idea. Its a place I'd want to go to if nothing else.
 
sexual harrassment is only harrassment if the person on the recieving end doesn't like it. Its like that saying "you can't rape the willing" well, you can't sexually harrass the road crew, because chances are they can out sexually harrass anybody. Those guys no more lewd hand signs then I do...and I know a lot.
 
I think sexual harrassment skills should be taught in school, I mean, its just as marketable of a skill as say, computer programming.
 
if you're gonna do it - you might as well learn how to do it properly -that way far less people get offended by it :) in my early 20s, I had a boss who made my life a living hell because of his harassment, but as I aged, I realize he just wasn't doing it properly :) there's a technique to doing ot so it's win-win for all parties :D

**the views in the above post are for humor purposes**
 
I lack motivation. Well...to put it correctly, I lack motivation to excercise. I think last night after work I did everything but work out. I could have had a babysitter for free, and gone for a run or gone to the gym. But its not like I did absolutly nothing productive. I stopped by a friends house to see how she was doing, she's been suffering with post pardum depression and just got home from an in-house facility. She was re-bonding with her baby. I did some of her laundry, her dishes and made her dinner. Then I went to my mom's and worked on a small business grant application so I can leave the ranks of the employee forever. But, no work out. And I ate chocolate. spank me.

I'm almost ashamed of my calorie intake yesterday. The only redeeming quality is that up until 7pm it was all healthy stuff. Then I went to my mom's who's been making chocolates for the last few weeks and I ate 2 pistaccio covered truffles and two chocolate chip cookies while we argued about the name of my cafe and bakery. But, I did finish what I had set out to do for my grant application for start up money so at least in that respect I'm not a total failure. I can't wait until all the paperwork is finished. I loathe paperwork.

So far today I've only had coffee. I woke up this am very queasy. I think I'm still feeling the navajo tacos my grandma made for my mom's birthday on sunday. They gave me some gastro-intestinal issues.
 
This weekend was a weird one. We actually had sun, something nobody on this island has seen since last august. I think the whole town is suffering from sunburn today, I know I am. I'm also suffering from bad henna, never, and I mean never allow 6 year old girls to henna your hands and feet. Apparetly this stuff doesn't wash off, I have to let it wear off which could take a couple of weeks.

I can't believe I've lost over 50 lbs and some people still don't notice. I guess I'm just as invisable today as I was on september 2nd when I started. I went to the bar on Saturday night with a few friends and we were trying to have a good time. We saw some guys that we used to work with and they were just as big of assholes as they were back when we worked with them. My friend Becca said to one of the guys "Hey, check out _____, doesn't she look fantastic! she lost 50 lbs" and the guy said "oh, I hadn't noticed." and his wife said, "she couldn't lose 50lbs if she was chained up away from the donuts." which, aside from making me feel like absolute shit started a war between my friends and their "group" of people. I left and went home. After a slap in the face like that, I just didn't feel like being around people anymore. Now I remember why I spent so many years hiding from the world. Because people are mean, even when they don't know you and especially when you don't look like a 10. That chick had never even met me before. I can't even imagine what kind of person she is to say that about someone she doesn't even know.

Aside from that I had a good friday, and saturday food wise but sunday was a bust. Brunch with the grandparents and then the weather was so nice we lit up a fire in the fire pit in our yard and my son's friends came over and played and we ended up having milkshakes because it was so warm out and then later we had arroz com pollo.

I did alot of yard work though, so that should have burned a couple thousand calories. Mowing and weed eating for three hours straight, and then raking and burning the clippings. what a chore. Next time I buy a house its going to be mostly house and less yard instead of a small house on a huge lot.
 
I can almost understand people not noticing, some people just like you for who you are and don't notice what you look like -at least that's the theory I'm going with for the boys at work -they wouldnt niotice if i was naked unless i had a tray of baked goods with me :)

that owman's comment was inexcusable thoough - what abitch - she will absolutely get what is coming to her.. and I'd love to be there to kick her ass hard...

For all the mean rude people out there, and there are entirely too many of them, there's one or two good ones - just stick with those and you'll be fine :)
 
I have a bumper sticker on the back of my truck that says "people suck" and another one that says "if you can read this you suck" in small print.
 
Howdy Iwan, I wanted to stop by and say thank so much for your kind words! It really brightemd up my night.A cafe sounds like a lovely ideal.I will post more tomorrow your doing awesome,Tammy
 
Another fine Aleutian day. Can you hear the sarchasm in my type? So, I've decided that location has a huge bearing on weight gain and weight loss. Living so remotely as I do I find it hard to find foods at the grocery store that are healthy. Produce is so expensive I practically have to take out a second mortgage on my home just to purchase it regularly. And then the store manager doesn't care a hoot about people watching what they eat. She refuses to stock healthy choices. We have full fat milk, cottage cheese, and cheese and no soy subsitutes or even goat cheese, no egg beaters, not even organic choices. We have lean cuisines, a choice of about 5 entrees, the ones with 300+ cals per serving and up. I can't even find lean ground beef and 90% of the time there is no chicken to speak of. Good thing I have a freezer full of fish.

I'm just so tired of it. And its really hard working with the Anchorage expiditors that buy and ship food to the bush. They mean well, but they just don't care about "healthy" choices. I have to beg my friends in Anchorage to go buy food for me and ship it, and I know its a pain in their asses to spend their days off going to the grocery for me and then the airport. But Damit! I'm not going to eat freakin velveeta cheese on generic white bread and wash it down with rancid whole milk.

I'm down a pound today, but thats only because the food choices yesterday were pathetic and I couldn't even find it in me to eat crap, so I ate nothing.
 
Oy, I wish I could eat rice. Lentils I have and use often especially in soups but with rice, I have to have brown rice which I can only buy in Anchorage. White rice makes me gain weight at an astonishing rate (which has totally ruined sushi for me).
 
Just got my coolers on the plane to anchorage so they can be filled with fresh produce and stuff from the anchorage stores. My sisters boyfriend is there and promised to find everything on my list even if he has to go to "every store in town." At least someone understands how much it sucks to live here.
I'm stuggling with my depression again, on a very low low the last few days. All of my friends have abandoned me. Well, not really abandoned, but they have all left for the summer on vacations, to fish camp, to jobs elsewere...I've got one regular friend left and she leaves for a month on the 3rd. Then it will just be me and the kid. We will be very lonely. And now his dad wants me to send him to Italy for a visit. I told him I'd put him on the plane as soon as he deposits the $24,000 he owes me into my bank account. I'm holding my breath, can you tell.
My son had a dr. appointment yesterday and he is finally out of the underweight range. Its taken me 5 months to get him up to a healthy weight. Now watch, now that he's all of 40 lbs he's going to shoot up a few inches and be back to the underweight range again. I don't know what to do with that kid. Even his nutritional counceling and working with a dietician hasn't helped him understand why he needs to eat food. I can literally sit at the table with him for four hours and he won't eat his whole plate of food.
I guess we both have our food issues. I eat too much, he doesn't eat enough.
On that note, the only thing I ate yesterday was a salad. It was a big salad but after I estimated how much it cost me to make it I lost my appitite for any other food. Its the middle of the summer, everybody in the world has access to fresh produce and what we get is here is limp, slimey and so expensive that making one salad cost me over $40.
 
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