A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

AAwww you guys are awesome :) i was really worried about what you would think and say so didn't go back on the forum last night after i put them on and i woke up this morning thinking 'OMG they will have seen them by now'. I was so so nervous about going on this morning. I actually felt a bit sick and shaky!! God, i'm such a stupid cow.
You made me look at them again and think 'yes, i have done well, i just need to be patient and realise that it is going to take time, And i know, Ruthie, the media does have a lot to answer for doesn't it. It will take time but hopefully one day i will actually accept the way i look and stop being so self loathing. You are truely wonderful people and i would be lost without you. :grouphug:
 
ADAY 52

Breakfast: 2 whetabix
Lunch: ham, lettuce and light mayo seeded bread sandwich, yoghurt and 97cal crisps
Dinner: Chicken breast stuffed with light philli, garlic and basil wrapped in bacon, potato wedges and salad with light ceaser dressing
Snacks: 2 dutch crispbread and 2 choc covered toffee balls

Exercise: 60 crunches (i managed to up it form 50 to 60 today) i was gonna do a Davina DVD but ended up doing houswork instead :(

First of all i want to appologise for my stupid breakdown yesterday. I am so embarassed :blush5: One day i will be normal mentally lol
I work with the hygienist on a tuesday and She (Rachel) is one of my best friends and i tell her everything. Well, i was talking to her about how i had had a bit of a mental crisis and she was lovely, shouted at me, but lovely. She understands that i am not the sort of person to big myself up or be proud or excited abut anything that i do personally and basically she told me that i had done bloody brilliantly and that i really do have every right to be proud of myself and just to stop automaticley thinking i dont deserve it.
Other than close friends, family and people i work with, i haven't told anyone about my 'new eating plan' i dont' really want anyone to know so they can't throw it back in my face with a 'what happened to the diet' when i fail. I feel a permanant failure and they would be proving me right. I am just having a hard time dealing with actually doing well for once. Ok, i'm gonna shut up about it now and just be positive cos deep down i know i have done well. END OF SUBJECT and i will try not to bring it back up again.

One thing that did make my day today was that while Rachel was ranting at me (she had made me show her the before and after jeans photo) she said 'just look at the difference in these pictures, you have manage to do that in under two months' and i thought 'hang on a minute, that isn't a before photo, i had the first one taken because i was really chuffed that i got into them and then the second one was them fitting nicely' She asked how long ago the first one was taken and i couldn't remember so i had a look on here when i got home and the first one was taken on the 7th aug and the second one was taken on the 20th aug two weeks apart!!!! i was like WOW!!!!

Mark is gonna get a slap.....he has just put the great british bake off on tv........A program about lots of people making bloody CAKES

I do my last 25 min run tomorrow and then on friday i am on to 28 min run. I am off camping on saturday and i am gonna try and carry on running while i am away, if i can't run round the site i am gonna drive back into town and go to the gym.....How bloody pathetic am i?!?!?!?
 
A:hurray::hurray::hurray::hurray::hurray::hurray::hurray:
I can't HURRAY you enough, my gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous friend! Everything everyone has said here, including you in your last post, is absolutely true. I can't believe that those two jeans photos are just two weeks apart! You are incredible!

And yes, we all have our issues. Thighs, tummy, arms, whatever. It's funny how people on here are so genuine in their compliments and yet it is sometimes so difficult to truly believe and take in what people say. But you are just such an incredible woman! You have come so far, you look incredible, and you are a motivation machine! That black dress is just gorgeous on you, by the way.

Another 25 min run, she says casually? ;) You rock my world. You know it.
 
:iagree: Wow hun, i agree with EVERYONE you are such an inspiration and you look amazing in your pics!! Dont be feeling down about yourself when you are such a superwoman!! I cant get over how much exercise you get!! I am so jealous that you do alllllllllll that exercise and i do none:( ugh hun how do you do it? BECAUSE YOUR AMAZING!!



Keep up the fab work you fab woman you!!xxxxxxx
 
You look AMAZING! Just need to get a smile on your face in the little black dress photo!! ;) You're gorgeous and the difference is HUGE! You had nothing to worry about xx
 
ADAY 53

Breakfast: 2 wheatabix
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo seeded sandwich, yoghurt and 97 cal crisps
Dinner: small bowl of spag
Snacks: 2 ricecakes and an apple

Exercise: 60 crunches and my last 25 min run!

I read the comments on here before i went to work this morning and it has made me realise that i am such a silly idiot for having a confidence crisis. Thank you guys, i really don't know what i would do without you shouting at me and being so so encouraging. :grouphug:

Had a good day at work today but to be honest most days are good days now, i am a much happier person these days (other than my blip the last few days)

I did my last 25 min run this evening (the next one is up to 28 min) and it was totally fine, it amazes me that i can run for that long, it really does. I have done four 25 min runs now. On the first one, the last 6/7 mins was really hard and the second one was only hard for the last five minutes maybe, the next one was a struggle for the last 2 mins and tonights was fine all the way to the end. I decided to not look at the time at all and managed it, it was hard to start with but i have a woman in my ears telling me when i reach every 5 min mark and then all of a sudden she said i had done 20 mins and i had stopped thinking about 'i wonder how long i have done' That felt good. i only looked a few times in the last few minutes :)
This might make you laugh.......While i run i just stare ahead, watching the TV or just staring and i can feel that i am bouncing up and down and i can see my hands as i run but today for some reason i looked down at my feet and i was like 'oooohh i am actually running, like proper running' which made me giggle!!! Yep, i actually giggled :) i am a little spechal, i know.

Joh You are an absolute darling :) You always know how to lift me and make me believe in myself. I read somewhere you complain about your thighs (which are great by the way) so you get it in first before someone else says anything. I totally get what you mean. It's like if you say it first then it stops a comment being hurtful. I am probably not making any sence but you always manage to say something that makes me think 'oh, i'm like that'
I love the 'Another 25 min run. she says casually' comment......It is a bit like that isn't it. When i was looking thru my diary yesterday, trying to find when the first 'jeans' photo was taken i came across a post where i was worrying about not being able to manage a 3 min run.......That seems so ridiculous now lol. I think when i am having a self loathing crisis or any other crisis, i will have to go back and read it all again to see how far i have come.

Princess Heya sweetie. I really must read your diary, i will, i just have been so busy. Thank you soooo much for your comments, you are so encouraging. How do i do all the exercise? I am hooked on the feeling it gives me, it really is bloody good for my mental well being (well most of the time lol) I do the crunches cos i am desperate to do something about my tummy and Rainbow does 100 every day so i thought i would give it a go and now in the morning i get up, go pee, weigh, wash and clean my teeth and lie on the bedroom floor and do them. I have to add that this is such a huge difference to the lazy slob i was 2 months ago!!!!

Luzdafuzz thanks for stopping by and thank you for your lovely comments, they truly mean a lot :D

Sunflower Heya, i really need to check out your diary too. I know i need to smile in photos but unless i am pissed i normally refuse to have them taken but i wanted them taken for here. I just can't bring myself to smile, i always end up with some gormless look on my face, hence the headless jean photo's lol if you think the dress pic was bad you should have seen them!!! Huge thanks for your comments hun, you're lovely :)


I just wanna say a massive, huge, thank you to you all!!! You are all such wonderfully kind and caring, lovely people. I truly appreciate you beyond words Love and hugs to all :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
 
ADAY 54

Breakfast: 2 wheatabix
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo seeded sandwich, yoghurt and 97cal crisps
Dinner: Small bowl of spag
Snacks: 2 dutch crispbread, an apple and 6 choc covered toffee balls (i had a massive chocolate craving but counted them so managed to stay in my cals)

Exercise: 60 crunches

It was the carnival in town this evening and Jack, along with all the other 'Make the Move' kids was in it. Mark was helping so i had the house to myself when i got home for a few hours. I went for a snooze :) but woke up craving chocolate and had the toffee balls while dinner was cooking.
I wore my size 14 jumper and some skinny jeans that i haven't worn for two years out this evening and felt quite good. I had people notice my weight loss, even my gym buddy, who i haven't seen for a few weeks cos she has been ill!!! When the carnival was over and everything was being sorted out and cleared up, everyone was eating chips and burger!!!! I didn't have anything :) I very nearly did but kept saying to myself 'you have no cals left'.

I have an easy day at work tomorrow just doing paperwork and then on saturday morning me and Jack are off camping. Can't wait!! Usually when i go camping it is a proper lazy holiday but this time i wanna go body boarding in the sea and messing about with rubber rings. I also wanna do loads of walking. Food wise, i really want to eat healthy but i think it is unfair to restrick what Jack has so i will probably try and compromise and maybe allow myself 1500 cals a day but still keep track of everything i eat. I am gonna write my diary down each day and put it all on here when i am back.
 
ADAY 55

Breakfast: 2 small slices of seeded toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo seeded sandwich, yoghurt and 97cal crisps
Dinner: small bowl of spag
Snacks: Light alpen bar and 2 choc covered toffee balls

Exercise: 60 crunches and a 28 minute run!!! and it was, dare i say, easy!! Well, as easy as the 25 min has now become. I was even tempted to actually push on and do 30 mins but i was a good girl and did as i was told :)

I am going camping tomorrow!!!!!! Yay!! Can't wait.
We did our weekly shop this evening and i bought food to take with us. I was pretty good buying strawberries, blueberries and apples, salad stuff too but i also bought some wraps, pitta and dips :eek: I did get carrots instead of doritos or cheese straws. I used to get choc brownies and choc cornflakes for breakfast but i just got my normal bread instead and i normally get lots of chocolate and crisps and i just got a pack of kids small choc bars. I got a small pack of burgers (the ones with the lowest cals) king prawns and chicken strips so i really did make an effort to try and take healthy food.
I aim to try and keep under 1500 a day but i am not gonna let myself get too obsessed with counting calories. I am on holiday, right!! Normally i am really lazy when i go camping but this time we are gonna do loads of active stuff, i aim to even pop back and go to the gym but there is a swimming pool at the park so i might go swimming instead.
I did have a thought that i wouldn't count the calories in anything liquid but that leaves me open to wine abuse lol...We'll see how that goes :)

Anyway, i am going to have a lovely time and hopefully not put too much weight on. Even if i do i know i have you lot to slap me back into shape when i get home.
It's gonna be so weird not posting every day. I always take a diary with me when i go on holiday so i will keep a diary of what we do and i'll do food too so i can bore you with it all when i get home next thursday.

Ooh, i haven't lost any weight this week but i am totally cool with that as i can see i am toning. i knew i would reach it at some point.

Love to you all.
 
ASOunds like you're going to have a great time this weekend!Enjoy yourself!And i really like your approach to all this!it is so positive!Good for u!
See what u used to eat for breakfast?I think of my old food habbits and no wonder all thepounds came on!
I am so proud of you katie!
HAve a LOVELY TIME sweetie!Hugs and kisses!
 
AMorning!!

Just a quickie to show you my new ticker. I weighed this morning and i have lost 2lb!!

I am half way!!!!!!!!
Ok i will probably gain while i am away but this has given me a huge insentive to try and stay on track.

I'll miss you guys. Extra hugs for you Ruthie, Thinking of you girly.
 
Originally Posted by katehunibun


DAY 46



Breakfast: 2 wheatabix

Lunch: quiche & salad with light salad cream, yoghurt and 94cal crisps

Dinner: Small bowl of chilli & Rice

Snacks: 2 ricecakes, apple and i'm gonna have some chocolate in a minute.



Exercise: 50 crunches (take note Rainbow!)



Another hungry day today!! I don't know whats wrong. I just hope that this is not the beginning of me going off the rails. I haven't thought about going over my cals but my stomach is even making noises straight after eating!! What's that all about?!?



I felt really skinny this morning but this evening i feel bloated and in need of a good fart!!! (too much info huh)



Ok, has anyone figured out how to do the ticker on here yet? I bloody hate change!!




AAAhhh it might have just done it or there is loads of gibberish lol
Click to expand...


I'd suggest you add some protein to your breakfast (in addition to the milk - you are drinking milk with the wheatabix, right?), maybe 2 egg whites or shaved almonds or a lean breakfast meat (like Canadian bacon) might pair well with it. I would make the same suggestion about your snacks. Have 1 carbohydrate (crackers or fruit or yogurt) with 1 protein (1/4 cup cottage cheese or low fat cheese or 10 nuts). That should help curb your hunger a bit.

Your lunch and dinner look great, you could even squeeze in a small fruit as a little sweet treat if you wanted.

Keep up the great work!!!
 
A:party: WOOOHOOOOO, HALF WAAAAAAAAAAAY! :D

So sorry I have been awol, I feel really bad, its been 5 whole days since I last commented, jeeeeesus. And I've missed SO MUCH. Firstly, I can't believe that them two photos were only two weeks apart. And you are up to running 28 minutes at a time!!!! Still doing the crunches as well :)

Have a great trip :D xxxxx And be good! x
 
AHeya all!!! OMG i have so missed this place. That is really pathetic isn't it?

We have come back early from our camping trip. We had a nice time but we got up this morning totally knackered and both quite sunburnt and was like 'shall we go home?' I missed Mark lots and my bed, and my sofa and you guys!!!! Also part of me knew that if we stayed i was gonna come home like 20lb heavier.......I didn't do brilliantly but i did write down everything i ate......And god did i eat lol

Rainbow Do not appoligise for not stopping by......You have other things going on at the moment. As long as you keep posting on your diary so we know that you are ok. Love and hugs girly. Xxxxx

Ok gonna do my diaries now.......This may take some time lol Lots to tell :)
 
AOooo I wanna know how you went! It's nice that you both agreed to come home early.

A sorry from me too... AWOL central over here.. probably will be for the next two weeks, while I'm away,but I'm still thinking of you and your running!
xxx

OH! Meanwhile, HALF WAAAAY!!! You know what that means? In just a few days you will be past the half way mark!
 
ADAY 56

Breakfast: Granola bar
Lunch: chicken salad
Dinner: Burger and wholemeal roll, 1 pitta, carrot, king prawns and dip
Snacks: 84cal crisps, a pint of stella larger, marshmallows, 3 toffees and hlaf a bag of normal crisps

Exercise: Getting all the camping stuff out of the loft and loading up the car (quite hard workout really) Pitching the tent (again a workout!) We walked down to Woolacombe village about a 30 min walk and back UP HILL about 45 min walk

Got up early to a nice sunny day. Weighed and was proper chuffed with a sudden 2lb loss!!! Went and had my nails done at 9am in jeans and a t-shirt!! and while i was in there it totally pissed it down outside!!!! Whoops, no coat! I was like 'noooooo' but luckily while we were loadinng up the car it had stopped and when we were pitching it started to dry up....Fhew!!
After we pitched we grabbed a quick bar of choc for Jack and a low cal bag of crisps for me from the petrol station at the bottom of the lane to the campsite and walked down to Woolacombe along the footpath, which was a really nice walk.
We got some lunch at a lovely place i have been to quite a lot, Jack loves the fish and chips they do. I had a gorgous chicken salad with a lovely (probably really fattening) dressing and scrummy garlic chiabatta and a pint of Stella larger (260+ cals!!!!!! OMG i never knew larger was soooooooo bad, i'd started drinking it before i found out how many cals in it) I didn't finish all my lunch. I started feeling full and so i stopped!!! I never do that when i go out to eat, i always feel that cos i paid for it i have to finish it. I also feel that they will think there was something wrong with it if i don't finish it all. But, i left what i didn't need to eat and it felt quite good! Then we had a wander round the little surfy market stall types and i got a really pretty ankle braclet and a necklace and got one for Jack too.
We were going to get the bus back up to the campsite but decided to walk it! It was quite hard but i really enjoyed it and Jack didn't complain at all. I can definatly see the difference in my fitness level cos i did it at a really good pace and wasn't totally out of breath or too knackered when we got to the top. I was really pleased with how we managed the walk. Yay us :hurray:

When we got back i just chilled with a few trashy magazines while Jack explored. Then we had BBQ and i think i managed to be at least a little bit restraint but later ate far to many toasted marshmallows. You can't beat sitting round the campfire toasting Marshmallows. I worked out that i had had about 2000 calories!! Whoops!!!

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/283482/width/1000/height/800http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/283484/width/1000/height/800

My lunch and, yes, i am that much of a loser that i took a photo of what i didn't eat!!!

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/283485/width/1000/height/800

That's the view from where we were sat eating!! Awesome huh?!

OK, i'm gonna do the rest tomorrow. I am gonna go and snuggle in my comfy bed.



 
AYour back already!!!! I can't imagine sunburn plus sleeping bag is a nice combination, so I don't blame you. It was cold last night as well wasn't it. I'm not one for camping, everything seems to end up damp. And no hairdryers!

That dinner looked delish, and it really made me giggle that you took a pic of your leftovers! You should have eaten more salad!!!! Although I am not one to talk, so I will be quiet :)
 
Anice you're back!!!!!!Happy happy happy!!!!!
THat photo looks lovely and i think im going to make something like that tommorow.
Im so glad you enjyed yourself and even had too many marshmalows!!!
Cant wait for the rest of the diary!!!!Have a real good night sleep!!!!
 
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