ADAY 51
Breakfast: 2 wheatabix
Lunch: ham, lettuce and light mayo seeded sandwich (we didn't have any wholemeal, I love seeded bread but the cals are so much higher, luckly this one is a tiny loaf so diddy sarnies) yoghurt and 97 cal crisps
Dinner: left over quiche and salad with light ceaser dressing
Snacks: crispbread, alpen light bar and 2 apples
Exercise: 50 crunches and a 25 min run!!!!! It was loads easier today, sort of, one of my legs was killing after digging up potato's yesterday so that really ached but actually keeping going was much easier.
Joh Yeah, the view is lovely isn't it. I have sat there listening to the birds, staring at that view with a glass of wine on many occasions. I live in a small seaside town in North Devon called Ilfracombe and the allotment is on the edge of town. We can see the sea from our bedroom window and the sea front and beach is a 5 min walk away, it's weird we really take it for granted sometimes. I will take some pictures of Woolacombe when i go camping next week and that is 5 miles away, it is stunning there!
I feel really bad that i seem to be the only one who can do a ticker

Have you tried all the things i have mentioned over my diary?
Jasper Aww you are a sweetheart. I don't think i am doing anything special, i am just totally inspired by you guys.
Ok, on to my day.....I don't know how to explain this properly but i will give it a go. Yesterday i was going to put some pictures on here of my 'before' and 'wow they fit now' jeans then came and checked out everyones diaries and was totally blown away by how totally fucking (s'cuse the language) awesome Ruthie and Joh looked in their pictures! I was so so chuffed for them, they have truly done it, ya know, they are proper slim.
I then looked at my pictures of me with my flabby, wobbly, discusting belly hanging out and thought 'who the fuck do you think you are, thinking that having a little less flab is anything to get excited about' And my self loathing mind went into overdrive and i so nearly just deleted all the pictures that i had ready to put on here.
Joh and Ruthie, please please please don't think that my self loathing breakdown was your doing at all and please please keep putting the pictures on here cos you are so sexy and inspiring!! It's me that is a mental self loathing freak lol!!!! Anyway today i managed to have a serious conversation with myself (yep, i am insane) and decided that i was being stupid and that i am on a different stage of my journey and hopefully i can post pictures like that in time so decided that i was going to put at least the jeans before and after pictures on.
This evening while i was at the gym, Jo, the owner, came over while i was doing my cool down walk and was saying how amazing i was doing and that my weight loss was really noticable now. I was saying that i am still discusted with what i look like and she pretty much told me off. I said that i don't feel i have the right to feel proud of myself cos i am not worth it and she proper shouted at me 'who is coming to the gym on her own all the time?' 'who is being so dedicated to eating healthy?' 'who has made the decision to change the way she looks' 'YOU!!' 'damn right you should be proud of yourself'
I wasn't going to say anything about how i had felt yesterday but i wanted to be honest and hopefully i can look back on this when i am in a better head space and see the improvemt there too. (i am on medication for it, you can imagine what i was like some months ago!)
Anyway onto the photo's. I have decided to be brave and i am posting one that was taken 2 weeks before i started my healthy eating and fitness plan. I hate having my pictues taken so there aren't many (unless i'm pissed) and that is the most recent but is totally rubbish. I didn't take a before photo cos i really didn't think i would stick with it as i had been trying and failing to lose weight for 2 years but i am putting the jeans before and after on and one of my litlle black size 14 dress too
Oh, before i do i just need to say that i am 38 and i have had a child and i have been a size 24 so belly is horendously flabby......Oh, i'm gonna shut up and just do it!!!!!!!
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/263861/width/1000/height/800
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/263862/width/1000/height/800http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/263863/width/1000/height/800
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/263864/width/1000/height/800