A new life in England

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jmb252

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I don't know what I weigh, and I don't really care to know. It's too much.

When I was a teenager and weighed a healthy 135, all I could do was think how fat I was because I wasn't one of the 115-lb. skinny girls I grew up with. Life went on, and I started gaining a bit. By the time I was in my early 20s, I was up to 160, but I still looked pretty good.

Then came unemployment and Seroquel. It's a pill that literally saved my life, but in about 6 months, I gained something like 120 lbs. No matter what I did, I gained. I stopped eating for a few days, and still gained 3 lbs.

I'm not on it anymore, and my life is totally different. I'm in a different country. I'm in a different relationship. I'm in a different frame of mind.

My doctor gave me a weird diet a few months ago. He said I could eat anything I wanted, so long as I only had three coffee mugs worth of food in a day. It's basically calorie control without counting calories. I lost about 25 lbs doing that before, but then went off it for reasons I can't remember.

It's Monday morning and after a weekend that took me away from that diet, I'm starting again. I've had enough of being fat, of hating my body. I just want to be back to my normal me.

And here's where I start.
 
Welcome to the site and wishing you the best of luck with your plan! Excellent that you're no longer on that medication.

IMO the scale gives you the reality check you need when you've been overeating and underexercising, and it motivates you when you're doing things right and the weight is coming off. So I say, get a scale and find out your starting point. You'll regret down the road when you dont have a clear idea how much you've lost.

What's your plan to get things going (i.e. food/exercise)?
 
Yesterday went ok. Other than a few sneaky olives, I stuck to the plan. Didn't drink enough water, though, and I was feeling a little dehydrated when I went to bed.

I have three food and drink addictions, things I refuse to go without. Coffee, cheese, and potatoes. I know there are all sorts of studies saying coffee impedes weight loss. I honestly don't care. I need my 8 cups a day. Coffee's the one thing where there's no such thing as moderation for me. In fact, last night I had a dream about coffee.

I used to work with this woman who lost a bunch of weight on Atkins. I thought maybe I could try that -- I like proteins. But then I remembered my beloved potato. So much for that one.

And cheese... well, it's just cheese. And it's damn good.

As for the scale thing, I do have one. It's tucked away in the closet right now. I used to use it every day. If I gained a pound, I'd binge, figuring "what's the point." I know how my twisted little brain works, and I'm better off just going with jean sizes as my guide.

Today I'm going for a walk into town. Need to buy some cat food and stamps. Once the tourists are gone, I'll start doing the daily beach walks I've wanted to do since I moved here.
 
i understand your addictions - but 3 coffee cups of cheese a day is not healthy! :D
hehe
on a more serious note, ive drunk tons of coffee whilst loosing weight. So long as i keep track of milk (trim) and ive cut sugar, then im fine.
 
I drink approximately 8 or more cups of green tea everyday myself, with milk but no sugar.

Olives can actually be good on a plan because they're very healthy and filling. Like if you add a few to a salad so the salad actually fills you up or if you're feeling hungry a few olives will carry you over to your next meal while avoiding another, more unhealthy, snack.
 
Hey there :). You sound like me - I weighed exactly 135 as a teen and was constantly thinking I was fat and then dieting. The went up to what must have been 160ish at 21 or so and then about five years ago (I am now 31) went on anti-depressants and gained a tonne .. though I dunno if that was due to the ADs or the fact that I sat on my butt eating constantly. Anyway it's great you've decided to give losing weight ago .. I look forward to reading your journal :)
 
Hi, Welcome to England! You've made a good step by coming and posting here, it'll keep you motivated (at least that's the way I'm looking at it!) xx
 
Yesterday was good. Walked all over town looking for kitten food,, which was frustrating, but probably good for me.

Food-wise, I made myself a couple eggs with veggies for a late breakfast, and that kept me full until dinner. I made a pot pie thing, but had some problems rolling out my crust. It was so hot here yesterday the pastry dough just started melting as soon as I took it out of the fridge. Only had one slice and then stood my ground and didn't join my boyfriend for a snack later on.

I got stressed about student loans in the afternoon, though, and my first reaction was to grab something to eat. I even rationalized it to myself, thinking that I hadn't had any lunch yet, so it would be ok to eat some potato chips. I realized it was emotional eating, and it was a weird thing to suddenly know so clearly -- I wasn't hungry, I didn't want to eat, but I was going to eat just to soothe myself.

Thanks to everyone who has commented.
 
I have the same problem with emotional eating. When I'm sad or bored I stuff myself! But it's really good that you recognised that it was emotional eating and not eating because you were hungry. Thats the only way to stop yourself.
Keep going, good luck xxxx
 
Yesterday was good. Had a few small meals and one snack, and that was because my stomach was actually grumbling. Walked into town to get a few things. My only bad thing was that I drank a bit too much wine.
 
jmb252 said:
Food-wise, I made myself a couple eggs with veggies for a late breakfast, and that kept me full until dinner. I made a pot pie thing, but had some problems rolling out my crust. It was so hot here yesterday the pastry dough just started melting as soon as I took it out of the fridge. Only had one slice and then stood my ground and didn't join my boyfriend for a snack later on.

I got stressed about student loans in the afternoon, though, and my first reaction was to grab something to eat. I even rationalized it to myself, thinking that I hadn't had any lunch yet, so it would be ok to eat some potato chips. I realized it was emotional eating, and it was a weird thing to suddenly know so clearly -- I wasn't hungry, I didn't want to eat, but I was going to eat just to soothe myself.
Click to expand...

Actually that sounds like a reasonable rationalization, considering you hadn't eaten lunch. I did that the other day, ate junk (popcorn and cake) for dinner. Ooooh that ended up being a very high calorie "meal" LOL. Big mistake of course :rolleyes:.

How many calories does a typical day like above add up to? Its hard to tell without knowing the ingredients, but it honestly sounds excessively low. Be careful about being "all gung ho" at first, only to lose steam and we never see you again! That happens frequently around here. :confused:

Have a good one :).
 
Yesterday wasn't too great. I ate more than usual, and didn't go for a walk at all. It was weird, though... Food didn't taste good at all, no matter what I ate. I tasted bad. ended up picking the tuna out of a tuna sandwich because the sandwich part

Today I'm going into town to find a magazine for my boyfriend. It'll end up being a long walk, I think.
 
I used to love going for long, meandering walks. I've really liked going out for walks the past few days. Went out yesterday and found the magazine, then stopped in a few more places on my way home.

I did good on food, too -- three small meals and one snack. It kept me full through the day, and I didn't eat unless I was hungry.

I've been really stressed for the past few days, mainly about money stuff, so it's good that we're at the weekend and there's nothing I can do about it. I need a break from the worry.

I need to find something to motivate me. I have some things that make me want to lose weight, but none of them really motivate me on a day to day basis. They're all things I can rationalize away, which doesn't help.
 
I can't type much because I just really stupidly burned the tip of my left index finger.

I kept on track yesterday. I controlled the quantities I ate all day (had chick peas for lunch and didn't power through the entire can and then feel sick, which is my usual MO) and went for two walks.

I've got my errand to run today, so that means another walk into and around town. I think I'll do a little extra and brave the tourist-filled seafront, too.
 
I didn't end up walking yesterday. My knee was really painful, and I could barely hobble around the apartment. I've had bad knees since I was 12, and have already had surgery on both of them. The extra weight is only making things worse, I'm sure.

I've noticed a bit of weight loss. My jeans fit a little looser already.
 
Well that's pretty cool, congrats :). Sorry to hear you have problems with your knees. I am not sure what the best type of exercise is in those circumstances .. someone else will likely know tho.
 
I've been told I should do swimming or cycling when my knees are bad. Unfortunately, there isn't a public pool anywhere close to me, and I can't afford a bike right now.

Yesterday was good. Walked for a bit, did a bunch of cleaning, and put together some furniture. I had a little pasta for breakfast, some soup for lunch, and a sandwich for dinner. I drank lots of water, but probably could have done with a bit more.

Today I woke up feeling energized. It's the first time I've felt like I have actual energy in months, so that's a good change.
 
I didn't go out at all yesterday, but I was a mad woman with all the energy I had -- I cleaned, I put together furniture, I played with the kittens, I baked bread, I made an awesome curry.

I've noticed my stomach has shrunk. I get full a lot faster than I used to.

We just got a new wardrobe and dresser, so I went through a bunch of boxes of clothes that I never unpacked. That gave me some motivation to continue. I have some really nice things, I just need to lose some weight again to fit into them because they're all about one size too small.

If I keep going, though, it shouldn't be long before I fit into them.
 
I drank too much last night, so now I'm depressed. I also snacked a lot because I had people over for cards.
 
Went for a long walk in the rain yesterday (was going to meet somebody for coffee on the other side of town). I felt like crap all day because I didn't get enough sleep.

Today I'm doing better, though. I went to bed early last night, so I woke up refreshed. I might go for a walk, I might do some cleaning up.

I'm feeling good about all of this. I'm noticing changes in my body. Things are a bit firmer already.
 
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