A Little Lost... Cassy's Story

Thanks :) I definately have the determination to do it. It's one of the few things in my life that make me feel great about myself and theres no turning back. I think about it a lot, checking myself out in the mirror, grabbing here and there to see if i feel a difference. I hope im not becomming obsessive about it :ack2:.
i do notice quite a bit of change in my size and shape, texture of my skin, stretch marks i've never seen. my tummy sags more : / (better saggy then fat i guess). more muscle strength in lifting. strength in my abs alowing me to sit up with no use of my arms to get out of bed without straining. i've noticed quite a bit of muscle definition.
which does lead me to sence of reassurance that because im either gaining muscle or at least not dropping any like most people dieting would, it is going to effect the scale significantly even if I am losing fat. also im trying to remind myself it's not realistic to expect the scale to go down a pound or even half a pound every day when I way in and that it is going to fluctuate up and down based on water retention and digestion rates of different foods.
yeah... i think about a lot... lol :leaving:
 
you have good days and you have bad days. Today is a bad day... i weighed in for another day of wii fit and once again still not going anywhere just going up and down about half a pound to a pound. though it made me flinch and is frustrating me a little i keep telling myself the numbers dont matter and i will get there... while im doing my excersizes im comtemplating if maybe my focus on strength training and somewhat controlled diet isn't the right path. maybe i do need to focus more on cardio and cutting hefty calories like everyone else who over weight. in the middle of this my husband call from work just to talk on his break... I mention my thought to him and he says i should just do all of it strength cadio and diet. i said i am and i will continue to i just think maybe i need to focus more on cardio and diet instead of my main excersize being strenth. he said well you should be doing cardio a couple days a week and i said well i do it everyday but i only do like 20 minutes which isnt a whole lot considering its just stepping at a fast pace. and this is the best part... he says that he doesnt think a person like me really can do more then that. my thought is like WTF do you mean by that? so i say i think you underestimate me a lot. i think you think that because im over weight that must mean that im not capable of the things im capable of. he's not saying it and he says thats not what he's saying but it just feels like he's telling me well your too fat to do things i know i can. i'm heavy but im good shape. i could easily outrun him. he would probably run faster at first because he has longer legs and is stronger but id bet a million dollars he would die out long before me. he feels because he's thin even though he sits on his ass and eats nothing but junk that he's healthier and in better shape then me. he could not do what i do every single day mentally and physically. why does it feel like he thinks hes sooo superior?
anyway now my workout is completely fucked because i can;t stop crying im so upset. I'm just having one of those days where it just all just seems too hard... i dont want to give up because i want this more then anything i just cant pull myself up right now. i feel so hopeless and so frustrated and i dont know what to do. i have to get up and do something. im sitting here blubbering when i should be sweating it out.
 
I understand how you feel sometimes, my husband is thin and also eats what he wants, he sometimes has a light hearted dig at my weight without realising how much it hurts, but being more serious he does know how hard it is because of my special dietry needs (Coeliac) and the large amout of muscle i carry (Competitive Powerlifter), we both have our strengths and difficulties with fitness.

But you can not give up, you will succeed !
 
thanks for that... i did end up doing 50 minutes of cardio after i wrote that. it helped me feel a little better to get it out then i did end up sweating it out. i'm still a little irritated with my husband but im brushing it off and just reminding myself that theres a reason i came here for support... this is just one journey I have to have without him... It's a little upsetting that i sort have to go to strangers for support but i'm very greatful that i have that.
 
okay so apparently im 209 now... I am soooo sick of teetering here....I'm never going to reach my goal if all I keep doing is fighting to get back to 205 every other week! ALL THIS WORK IS NOT WORTH MAINTAINING 10-15 POUNDS!
i know i keep saying i wont let numbers bother me but its really hard not to when i seem to be making zero progress! I First reached 205 like 4 weeks ago and all ive been doing since is boucing back and forth between 205 and 210...
 
ok so in my frustration with pounds I got a body fat monitoring scale, hoping that my body fat percentage would explain that im simply gaining muscle or water weight and i have no reason to fret... so i set up my user setting with my hieght age sex so on... i finally get on the scale and the damn thing tells me i have 46.7 % body fat... now i'm not in denial, i know im fat... but GOD DAMN! Are you Effing kidding me? this thing is telling me that nearly 100 pounds of me is fat! ugh it was waaaay easier not caring and being 5-10 pounds heavier!!! :banghead:
 
stay calm, the number you are seeing on the scale is more than likely not accurate, it is a guide only, thae actual number on those type of scales can vary with how much water you have had, what time of day it is, whether you have been to the toilet beforhand, how much food you have eaten etc. use it as a guide only if the number moves down over time (ignoring minor fluctuations) you are moving in the right direction.

the scale works through bioelectrical impedence.

I am a similar weight to you (within a couple of pounds) and the the scales which measure BF% always register much higher than my measurments done by calipers taken by a professional) (40% scales give or take a few % compared to 30% consistantly with calipers which is the top end of normal)

As for BMI for those of us that carry a lot of muscle, ignore it.

Hang in there you can do it :grouphug:
 
the fat percentage I was a little shocked but i am assuming that if I had boughten this scale a month ago the number probably would have been higher (at least i hope so). what i hope to gain from it is as my weight fluxuates how the the body fat percentage fluctuates (is it fat, is it muscle, is it water?)...
most of my frustration though is the pounds on the scale... the trend is just getting very tiring... its like everytime I get to 205 i say to myself ok this it another few pounds and ill be out of this 205 rut... but that 205 only lasts for a day or 2 then goes up a pound and maintains for a day or 2 then next thing i know im 210 and right back where i was fighting to get from 2 weeks ago just trying to be 205 again... i just want to know when i can be at 205 and expenct the trend to go downward and into the 100's instead of jumping back up again...
 
grab a tape measure, measure butt, hips, waist, bust, upper arm and leg. then check again in a month time and I am sure you will see a difference if you keep up your effort :)
 
Dont give up! I was in the same boat as you about 5 months ago. I hit the scales at 322! Finally I had enough. I know Im a guy and not the same body frame as you, but I said screw it and focused on cardio, with just a light strength workout daily. And that was the key, going every day. About 45 minutes at first 35 doing cardio and the rest strength. That grew to an hour, then an hour and a half, and it kept going from there. I only did small changes to my diet (Like eating yougart for breakfast, and cutting out the Venti White Moca) as Im not a dieter, and never will be. But after just a few weeks I was up to 45 minutes of cardio, then an hour, then an hour and a half, then two hours. At the two hour mark, I said it's time to split it up, and started jogging\running at lunch. First just a mile, then 2 and over time I've got up to 5 miles, and a solid 9:30 pace, and I've dropped over 55lbs now. I think the key thing is getting into the mindset, and then going consistantly, and dropping out the sweets as much as possiable. Starting a food diary also helped at first , as I could see what I was eating, and reduce the portion sizes a bit. You can do this, and this comes from someone who was in your shoes (abit quite a bit heaver). Dont give up!
 
Hi Cassy, you seem really really motivated to lose the weight. We all have good and bad days, believe me. Thats why you came here, for support right? We all understand!

You've got a couple of really good people here on your side with Trusylver and Greg.

My philosophy so far in simplified terms;

Cardio burns fat once you do it long enough. It fires off of carbohydrate, then basically switches to fat burning. Longer sessions obviously burn more.

Strength training changes body composition and also burns fat but in a more subtle way. fat doesn't burn calories, it just sits there. Increasing your lean muscle mass gives your body more active tissue to metabolize your energy (calories), even if you are sitting on the couch. BUT - it weighs more than fat so it will sometimes appear that you have plateaued while your body is building it. (That doesn't mean you aren't looking sexier all the time though :D).

Diet = simple math. take in fewer calories than you burn off. End of story. However, the trick here is to get some good quality food into your system to give you the right combination of feeding your workouts, whether they are cardio or strength, and creating a net balance that gives you the deficit you need to lose the weight. Honestly? I fought the idea of keeping a food record for years... but also struggled for years...

I keep one now. My weight loss is moving forward now. You really should consider it.

You can do this, you have to make it all work together. You also have to realize that this is permanent. It happens every day, so, if you want to go ahead and grab a piece of cake, go for it. Track it, pay for it with exercise, whatever. You aren't expected to be perfect always. Just don't go the all or nothing route. A happy medium exists.

And if shit happens and you need to blow off steam, come in here. It's your diary, sweetheart, say what you want.

BTW, you're beautiful. Tell yourself that. And you're going to be even more beautiful. Tell yourself that too, and mean it!
 
Thank you to the both of you :) I really appreciate knowing someones reading my emotional outbursts lol though I feel like doufis after for being so emotional :ack2:
I did have a couple of bad days but I'm feeling better now... :chillpill:
honestly I dont think I could give up. though ive only been doing this for almost 2 months I think i would probably be lost if i didn't follow my routine anymore... at my worst moments i was thinking you can just stop now and go back to the way you were. you were only 10 lbs heavier and waaay happier... but trying to imagine it was completely uncomprehencable... just couldnt see me not doing something. I can take a day off but to just not do it? no way!
I have decided to amp it up a bit though... the only cardio type thing i can do is stepping other then walking my daughter to school everyday. I want to start runnung but its cold wet and slippery in canada right now and I really dont want to wipe out... im going to try to comvince my husband that i really really need a treadmill so i can start running now instead of waiting for spring.
ANYWAY... I've started doing an extra 30 minutes of step first thing in the morning while my kids eat breakfast. I dont really know how effective stepping is but I sweat my ass off for the 30 minutes so i figure its got to be effective. I do it at a pretty fast pace (to the beat of music the faster the better...) think britney spears "womanizer" (shhh... don't tell anyone i'm listening to britney).
so yeah now my work out consists of step in the morning, 30-40 minutes strength then another 30 mins of step (as well as walking my daughter to and from school) and hopefully soon i'll be doing some running. I do all of this 5 days a week monday - Friday. and if my husband sleeps in on the weekend, which he usually does, I'm doing 30 mins of step first thing in the morning then too.
on top of the extra cardio im trying to minimize my calories to 1200-1500 a day... im working into it slowly just trying to figure out what works for me... the hardest part still is going to be dinner time... I have a hard time figuring out how many calories some things are and I have a hard time with portion controll when it comes to my favourite things. its a work in progress though. basially im hoping that if i keep my lunches and day time snacks under 500 cal then it shouldnt be too hard to keep dinner under 1000.... feel free to comment on that lol it's not exactly a scientific method... i hate calorie counting... :rolleyes:
so yes this is my new plan... we'll see how that works out for me...
 
so first thing this morning instead of doing my 30 minutes of step, for 2 hours I ended up shoveling a foot of snow off of both mine and my neighbours extremely long driveways (our driveways are one. I feel bad just shoveling my side.)
I'm thinking I should have at least eaten my breakfast first because now i i'm tired and want to take a nap lol.
A funny thing happened while i was out shoveling. a neighbour of mine saw me shoveling as she was leaving to take her kids to school and about an hour later after already being back and inside for a while, she comes out and says, "your still at it?". I say "yep it takes a long time to do both sides of the driveway. but it's good excersize so I don't mind." she says "well then you can take a nap instead of doing wii fit today". without even a though I just let out a big laugh and said "yeah right!" :smilielol5:.... oh wait... she was serious lol....
 
well done, shoveling snow is hard work and a fantastic workout, now time for the wii fit :)


Great work
 
Thanks! it was definately a good workout I came in exhausted and completely soaked in sweat. I love being sweaty and achey! makes me feel good :D
 
yeah my arms back shoulders and chest are actually hurting more today than usual it actually affected my sleep a little last night. I'm wodindering if I should put off my upper body workouts today :confused:
all i really want to do is sleep right now so hopefully by this afternoon I pick up a bit more momentum...
 
So i was just standing in front of the mirror naked analyzing myself thinking even though the scale is still telling me 208, I couldnt possible be not losing weight. i'm working out more then ever, I'm nore consious about eating than ever. I have to be losing weight. I cannot be defying the laws of weightloss... Now its really hard to tell if theres a difference when you see yourself every day but i think I can see it... or maybe i'm over analyzing... but it seems like i'm losing... in the wrong places... you know that chub right infront of the armpit? that seems to be subsiding... unfourtunately so seems the rest of my chest... it seems flatter... now flatter is not a good thing when you have an E cup... flatter means saggier... this saddens me... the only other places it may be are my arms and lower legs which werent really bad in the first place and everything is still stuck in the middle and i remain a very round person in the middle... I think its time to take some pictures...
 
tried goung through some old pictures to see if i could find something to compare my current shape to as sort of a motivator only to find that i have almost NO pictures of myself outside of ones i had taken myself from the chest up... I had a few but i was either crouched in a ball or hiding... mostly because i'm always behind the camera but also because i've probably deleted some and I try to avoid it. the only time i do is to try to get a pic with my kids cuz i have to have at least some of me with them regaurdless of how much i dont want to see me in a picture. it's kind of sad..
I was able to compare a few features and it really was encouraging... it's only 10-15 Lbs but its there and i can see it... as much as i dont want to ask, im going to get my husband to take some pictures of me (i hate self pics in a mirror and its hard to see anything and i feel so tacky doing it, plus you know ill posing in just the right ways so my chunk is as hidden as possible). but i think it will be helpful in motivation that i constantly need to keep renewing every day.
I wish i could have a conversation with my body... would be so much easier...
 
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