A little disappointed...

J

JoeSkiLove

New member
I think that this is the right place to post this...

I'm not disappointed in myself. I think I'm doing just fine on my way to my weight loss goals. Just to give you a little back ground on myself, last month I joined a gym so I could lose weight. I'm also eating right and so far have lost 20 pounds. I'm doing everything naturally and I feel that I'm doing it safely.

Now my disappointment is with two friends. One of which is getting gastric bypass surgery in about a week, the other who has resorted to using steroids to get his desired look.

I can honestly say that I'm more upset with the friend that is getting the surgery. I know for a fact that she hasn't changed her eating habits or kept up a steady pace in a gym and seems like she is just taking the easy way out while i bust my @$$ every day i the gym and measure and weigh my food. I've even offered to go to the gym with her to help her stay motivated and she refuses. Now a guy i work with got this surgery and initially lost 70lbs, then put 50 right back on. So I personally think what she is doing is silly. By the way, she is only 21.

As for my buddy doing the steroids he goes to the gym everyday, eats right, and knows his stuff when it comes to weight loss and body building. He is who is helping me at the gym. He's 6'2" and 195lbs. He is well built and could bench press a Buick. lol. He is just having trouble getting rid of a little bit of belly fat so has started a cycle of growth hormone and winstrol. Now I give him a bit more credit because at least he has been working at it for a good long while, but still I think it's a lil extreme.

Is it wrong for me to think this way, or should I just shut up and let them do what they want? I know it's their bodies and they can do what they want but it just seems wrong to me. And I don't know if disappointment is the right word I'm lookin for but it's the only word that came to mind.

What are your thoughts on this matter?
 
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I personally like the idea of working out and actually naturally getting rid of your fat.

I've changed my habbits to eating healthy every day and staying away from alot of the fatty foods that we can at most times overlook.
 
I think you can be disappointed.

I have a friend who does yo-yo dieting. She loses weight for an event, like a friend's wedding or a trip, looks good in the pictures, comes back, gains the weight back, and then when the next trip or event comes around, she starts dieting again.

She could just learn how to eat well and maintain it, but she doesn't.

Eh. I don't like that she does that, and I hope that some day she finds a way to keep it.

I think you can say something, because I think we have a moral obligation to help out our friends and giving them advice is a way of doing it, but at some point, you're going to just have to accept that your friends are handling this in a different way than you are.

Your female friend that's getting the gastric bypass is going to realize quickly that surgery is not the be all and end all. She's going to have to learn how to eat very small portions and will always be in danger of not getting the right nutrients and of course, if she doesn't follow her doctor's advice, she may gain all the weight back anyway and the surgery (and the risks) were for nothing after all.

I also worry about your friend using steroids, but once again, you can't do anything but say that you're concerned.

But it's okay to be disappointed in them.
 
JoeSkiLove said:
I can honestly say that I'm more upset with the friend that is getting the surgery. I know for a fact that she hasn't changed her eating habits or kept up a steady pace in a gym and seems like she is just taking the easy way out while i bust my @$$ every day i the gym and measure and weigh my food. I've even offered to go to the gym with her to help her stay motivated and she refuses. Now a guy i work with got this surgery and initially lost 70lbs, then put 50 right back on. So I personally think what she is doing is silly. By the way, she is only 21.
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Your friend is not taking the easy way out, she is taking the stupid and dangerous way out. That surgery has a significant risk of complications, even death. It means that for the rest of her life she will not be able to eat like a normal person.

It's easier in my opinion to work out and eat well than risk your health and your life and be unable to live normally for the rest of your life.

I would talk to your friend about the risks of surgery, at 21 she is young and immature and may feel invincible. Maybe she has focused on the bypass success stories, and not the severe complications, deaths, regaining of weight, and the kind of life she'd have to live afterwards.
 
Agree, from what I can work out, a band is just another way of going on a diet- only you cannot fall off the wagon- and its not easy either- the reason people fall off the wagon is because they feel they need to. They get hungry, they want comfort food, they want a night out, they have an craving as they need a certain nutrient... this cannot happen with a band. So not only is there no way out, its painful at the same time.

I would rather lose weight naturally, learn by my own mistakes, yes its taking longer but its not as scary as a band! And I can still eat apples!!
 
I've tried talking to her though. I've sat down with her one on one, with nobody else around and tried talking to her about it but she is convinced it's her only way out. I tried to get her to join the gym with me and i would help her with everything, even offered to pay for half of the membership. She just doesn't seem to understand the consequences of this surgery. The gym that i go to is also pretty well known as a "meat head" gym and doesn't want to be made fun of. Tried to tell her that the biggest meat heads in that gym are the most helpful and knowledgable people there, and don't really care that you're fat. At least they help me out alot. But I told her I would go to a different gym with her. Even was half tempted to go to curves and see if they would let me help her out, even though I know that gym is only for women. I'm just at my wits end. It might just be time to shut up and let her do what she wants. I dunno.
 
JoeSkiLove said:
I've tried talking to her though. I've sat down with her one on one, with nobody else around and tried talking to her about it but she is convinced it's her only way out. I tried to get her to join the gym with me and i would help her with everything, even offered to pay for half of the membership. She just doesn't seem to understand the consequences of this surgery. The gym that i go to is also pretty well known as a "meat head" gym and doesn't want to be made fun of. Tried to tell her that the biggest meat heads in that gym are the most helpful and knowledgable people there, and don't really care that you're fat. At least they help me out alot. But I told her I would go to a different gym with her. Even was half tempted to go to curves and see if they would let me help her out, even though I know that gym is only for women. I'm just at my wits end. It might just be time to shut up and let her do what she wants. I dunno.
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You don't need to go to a gym to lose weight, she can go for walks, she can work out at home. Even without working out she can lose weight by simply eating less.

I am wondering who is willing to perform such a surgery on a 21 year old who is unwilling to work out and eat well. That doctor seems unethical, isn't a candidate for such surgery supposed to demonstrate that they are able to control their diet because post surgery it will be a requirement? It just seems crazy to me. How can they do a surgery on a person who can't stop eating when after surgery they will have to eat a spoonful at a time?!

How much does your friend weigh?
 
She won't tell me her exact weight because she feels to ashamed. I've also offered to be her walking partner but has given up. Also, I forgot to mention this earlier, she has gone to "fat camp", and lost a lot of weight and looked good. She said she felt good and wanted to keep it that way but put the weight back on about 3 months later. If I had to guess what her weight was I would prolly say close to 300.
 
as for your steroid friend, I'm confused, he's taking roids, but trying to lose weight? He does understand thats a huge contradiction right?

As for cycles and such, unless he can bench his body weight, and squat/dead 2x his body weight, I wouldn't even bother. He should also be aware that his roid of choice is prob one of the most toxic you can get. He better be seeing a doc weekly for blood work while he's on it.
 
Well from what he has told me the Winstrol is used for cutting cycles, so he said it would lean him out. The Growth hormone he says will cut the fat on him. I don't know much about using steroids so I'm just goin by what he says.
 
JoeSkiLove said:
Well from what he has told me the Winstrol is used for cutting cycles, so he said it would lean him out. The Growth hormone he says will cut the fat on him. I don't know much about using steroids so I'm just goin by what he says.
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Does he compete in some way? I don't understand why anyone would do that to themselves unless they are making a lot of money in competitions.
 
Watch the Biggest Loser episode 2 on Hulu. There's a girl on there that got gastric bypass at 14. Now she's huge. But the worst part is that the doctor explains that she lost so much muscle with the surgery that she's nothing but fat now. She's literally over 50% fat. Insane...

My biggest argument against surgery is that it doesn't teach you how to eat. If you're overweight, the problem is not with your weight, it's with your eating. Your food decisions made you fat. Unless you're getting brain surgery to make better decisions, surgery isn't the answer.
 
biggestloser105 said:
Does he compete in some way? I don't understand why anyone would do that to themselves unless they are making a lot of money in competitions.
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He doesn't compete. He just wants to look like a greek statue. lol. He's not taking steroids that would make him huge. The steroid that he is taking will supposedly make him more lean, but without crazy muscle growth.
 
My mother had the gastric bypass done THREE TIMES!!! This was probably 20 yrs ago...but they removed so much of her intestines, that she doestn' absorb any vitamins now and shes CONSTANTLY sick :(
 
Korrie said:
My mother had the gastric bypass done THREE TIMES!!! This was probably 20 yrs ago...but they removed so much of her intestines, that she doestn' absorb any vitamins now and shes CONSTANTLY sick :(
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Korrie, that's terrible. Your poor Mum :(
I think we all try whatever we think will do it for us, but I really think surgery is so extreme, I wouldn't do it. Like many people have mentioned, there are so many possible problems with it and it stops your body from functioning properly.
I also agree that the Dr should be very careful about doing this surgery on such a young girl without checking that she has really made an effort beforehand. Surely this should be a 'last resort' thing?
 
I understand where you're coming from. My uncle's new wife is only 27 years old, and had gastric bypass surgery a couple of years ago.
I don't know exactly how much she's lost.
Admittedly, she looks great.
However -- she feels sickly all the time. She can't have soda for the rest of her life (that would KILL me, hah). She's trying to get pregnant with her first child, and if she is successful, I imagine it will be very difficult to nourish both herself and her unborn child within the confines of her diet.

Losing weight the natural way is often difficult, and obviously takes longer, but there's so much more satisfaction in it.
Everyone's journey is their own, and your friends have the right to live their lives as they see fit -- but I understand your disappointment, and I commend you for making good changes for yourself!
 
I see this over and over again my friends.

You need to be concerned with your goals, your ways, your efforts, and knowledge, not everyone elses.

To debunk a myth here also.
Steroids are a natural way of losing weight, and they do not work unless you bust your butt in the gym and eat right.
Your entire body consists of steroids.
 
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