A friend

Steve

Steve

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Staff member
I just got done talking with a close friend of mine. She used to be heavy, relatively speaking, and lost a ton of weight. She looks astonishing, but she's set on getting very lean. Like physique-competitor lean. This isn't an easy task, especially for a female. I've known her for a few years now so she always hears my shpeel (is that a word? help someone) about the role the mind plays, yada yada yada.

I was talking with her today inquiring about her training and diet. She said she's having a really tough time with consistency. The temptation to binge on junk and not adhere to her diet strategy is too much for her she says. She says, "It's like I'm at point A trying to get to point infinity, but every time I get to point C I regress back to point A."

I asked her, "What are you doing on a daily basis to remind yourself why it is you have the goals that you have? Why do you want what you want?"

I was amazed when she said, "nothing."

Just a reminder that spending some time each and every day on the mind is a critical component to all this.

My friend here expects to tackle this enormous challenge without getting in the driver seat of her mind. Auto-pilot simply doesn't work for most of us.
 
Steve,

I think that is so true; if you don't know why you are doing something (whether it is losing weight, getting an education or achieving any goal) it becomes very easy to lose focus when things get hard. Even when you know why it is you are doing something, temptations can make it very easy to get off track.

Sometimes wanting a thing simply isn't enough, you have to have something concrete tied to it to make it real. I don't think it matters if you are losing weight to look better, to fit into a smaller size, to improve your health or simply to LIVE...if you haven't decided the why, it becomes harder to stick to the how of it.

Not that I am an expert but I have found that unless you know why you really want a thing, it is almost impossible to keep working for it when things get hard.

I realize now that as much as I 'wanted' to lose weight before, I didn't really. I just wanted to be thinner w/o any real reason why other than I didn't like being fat. When I decided that I was going to die very young if I didn't make a change I was able to make real progress for the first time and without some 'gimmick' that would only work in the short term.

There's my two cents! :hurray:
 
Wow sounds alot like what I am going through I lost 60 lbs like that and now I am going back and forth with consistency,I feel I have the will power most of the times then that little voice says doesn't that potatoe soup sound good from ocharlies along with the chicken sand ,then I give in and it leads down a long road of feeling like blah afterwards,don't want to exersice,bloaty feeling,oh yeah and depressed!
NOTE:I am working on this though. I am sure you will be able to give her some helpful information and support,Tammy
 
Hey Steve,

does your friend happen to have any befores and afters posted online? Reason I ask, I've always wanted to be on the ummm "buffer side" and to be honest, I don't think it's possible to do so with my body. haha In other words, I want to be able to see a picture and say, "Damn... it IS possible!" hahaa Honestly, I hope she achieves her fitness goal.

Oh... and you already know my take on visualizations/ listing goals. :D

-S Dawg
 
MsGhettoBooty said:
Hey Steve,

does your friend happen to have any befores and afters posted online? Reason I ask, I've always wanted to be on the ummm "buffer side" and to be honest, I don't think it's possible to do so with my body. haha In other words, I want to be able to see a picture and say, "Damn... it IS possible!" hahaa Honestly, I hope she achieves her fitness goal.

Oh... and you already know my take on visualizations/ listing goals. :D

-S Dawg
Click to expand...

Check your PM homie.
 
schpeel


Oh yeah and if you want to get somewhere - it helps to know where you're going otherwise you're just flailing about...

I lose direction occassionally -sometimes end up in a better place sometimes -well not so much
 
Of the two mainstream diet books that are on the market - You on a Diet and The Beck Diet Solution - both (of which I find a trifle irritating to read but the concepts in them are fairly sound - at least according to my limited knowledge) Beck more so, but You devotes a chapter to it.. as to the Whys...

Why do you want to lose weight - -the You book really delves into the mind portion.. why do you want to lose weight - and based on each answer given - it asks another Why question -and in a lot of cases it takes you to an answer that is really not the usual I want to be healthy response that so many people give... it's an interesting exercise... beck's book suggests keeping your lists of Whys (and she says your reasons can be totally shallow (like I want to wear sexy lingerie) to the I want to dance atmy grandchild's wedding... handy and visible to you every day...
 
That's one particular technique I've used in the past with not only clients, but myself. It's good to hear that a mainstream book is promoting such tactics.

If you keep asking yourself why until you can't answer the question anymore, you've reached some foundational answers that *should* help fuel your momentum and keep it consistent.

My why-list was pretty long with corresponding answers. This list I read pretty much every single day. I've modified it as things changed, but nonetheless, it definitely is something that helps keep me driven.

One of the answers to my foundational why questions for instance was the desire to be a super-hero-esque type of dad. I want to a have a son that looks up to his father and every possible sense. Of course acting the role is primary. But I think looking the role is pretty damn awesome too.... just thinking about it makes me want to push harder.
 
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