A chance at redemption! My story, my troubles, my life.

I am sitting here writing, and I really needed to write... I had this sudden urge to eat all of the sudden... I had not eaten dinner yet, but in my mind I wanted to just devour any food in my way! I hated the feeling, I will admit the urge came on so strong, but somehow some way I resisted... I ate dinner, with a good portion of green beans... I still feel hungry, and I still can eat more for the rest of the day, based on my daily calorie intake. Yet, it really scared me! it will be 1 month tomorrow. and I do not want to mess up! I have lost 24 pounds, I can fit in a size 42 jeans now... I just gotta stay strong! I will, I wont let this obesity kick my butt again. I will be doing the kickin!
 
Well! it's officially been one month! I am excited, but I also understand the path ahead doesn't get easier... just thinner! haha.

I am going to the park today with my daughter as it's her last field trip of the summer... with me going to school full time, I am not going to have as much time to spend with her, so I really want to enjoy today! I sat down and was wondering why, I was feeling so hungry. I came to this brief conclusion; I AM NOT EATING ANYTHING FOR BREAKFAST!

so today I am going to eat breakfast, I may not feel hungry, but I am going to anyways...

more later
 
It's past midnight, and I believe I am having a revalation... I can't help but have this burning desire to become the person, that I know I should be. I feel like running, but it's real late. I have done pretty good with my calories, haven't had any slip ups. Today I did eat higher than I usually do, I had 1596 calories... it's still a good number, but I want to become fit, it really hurts waking up every morning and seeing my self so big, I never tell anyone but my weight effects EVERYTHING around me, work,school, friends... I have no more friends! I shut everyone out, I feel so miserable most of the time. I want to feel so much better. I want the day to come where I can look in my closet and put on anything I want, rather than what fits me big enough. I can't ever remember wearing heck even a xl! it's pathetic, but I need to let it out... I am shy, I used to be more out going... I just let it all slip away. I want to stay on my journey this time for good. I am so afraid of messing up and stopping again. I DONT WANT TO!!!
 
I am going to post my calories for the week tonight rather than tomorrow morning, as I will be at school. I will do my weigh in first thing in the morning, though.
 
date calories
August 17-1302
August 18-1420
August 19-1454
August 20-990
August 21-1596
August 22-1701
August 23-1300

total 9763

BMR-17990= 2570 daily
Goal-11200= 1600 daily
Actual = 9763= 1394 average daily calories
BMR (Minus) Actual= 8227 = 2.35 pounds loss by calorie reduction.

waist: july 20,2009 = 60 in
August 17, 2009=57.0
 
Well as expected, I lost two pouunds this week... lower than I would like, but it's still in thew right direction! Time for school!
 
last week was definetely a slow one, only 2 pounds, but I have a feeling I should have a good weigh in. I've been walking alot at school...
 
Feeling good! I want to see results fast, but I understand that it takes time. My goal this week is to focus on working out, I haven't really done much of it...
 
Another 3 pounds lost! A total of 29 pounds since July 20,2009! I will enter my calorie information, when I get home from school...

date calories
August 24-1268
August 25-1400
August 26-1465
August 27-1232
August 28-1220
August 29-1405
August 30- this date got deleted...

total

BMR-17906= 2558 daily
Goal-11200= 1600 daily
Actual = 7990 ( 6 days)= 1331 average daily calories
BMR (Minus) Actual= 7358 = 2.10 pounds loss by calorie reduction.

waist: july 20,2009 = 60 in
August 17, 2009=57.0
 
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I woke up, a little later today, NO SCHOOL! woohoo I have not had much time to catch up on the forum as of late... I do plan to enter my calorie amounts today... Today is also my weigh in date!

I lost another 4 pounds this week! I've been doing alot of walking at school... but i've also been eating closer to my goal of 1600 calories daily. Which is surprising as when I was eating less I was losing a little less...

I have now lost 33 pounds since July 20th at that time I was 323 pounds and now I am down to 290! I keep having to make holes in my belt, so I know I am losing even though I really don't see it too much... I guess since I am so big it's gonna take alot of weight loss to see some real results... but I am happy!

here's to another good week!:drool5:
 
date calories
August 31-1530
September 1-1440
September 2-1497
September 3-1434
September 4-1445
September 5-1345
September 6-1690- I took my family for ice cream- so it took me over my limit... but just by 90 calories.

total

BMR-17682= 2526 daily
Goal-11200= 1600 daily
Actual = 10381= 1483 average daily calories
BMR (Minus) Actual= 7301 = 2.086 pounds loss by calorie reduction.

waist: july 20,2009 = 60 in
August 17, 2009=57.0
 
I think 1400-1500 daily calorie range seems to be a good number for me...

Like I had stated in previous replies, I am not going by my BMR for the month of August 20th thru Sept 20th... I set of goal of 1600 daily calories... my BMR for this week is actually 1502, so I am just above my BMR, but I am doing alot of walking at school... I think 1600 is working out ok, atleast so far... I will adjust when needed... 33 pounds lost! I am so excited but I have a long journey still ahead, I know I can do it... I just gotta stay on track!
 
in 2007 during this time, I had lost over 60 pounds... I don't know what made stop, I suppose alot of things. I am fighting and will continue to win!
 
September 7-1004
September 8-1413
September 9-1430
September 10-1321
September 11-1430
September 12-1520
September 13-1536

total-9654

BMR-17507= 2501 daily
Goal-11200= 1600 daily
Actual = 9654= 1379 average daily calories
BMR (Minus) Actual= 7853 = 2.24 pounds loss by calorie reduction.

waist: july 20,2009 = 60 in
August 17, 2009=57.0
 
I lost 3 pounds this week... I have been super busy, not to mention my car just about exploded! haha ok. but seriously. 36 pounds lost since july 20th 2009!
 
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