9.43PM, 30 Sept 07

S

sweetheart

New member


I already posted in the newbie section. One thing to add- I will NOT count calories. I will focus on portion size. I've counted calories before, and I ended up seeing food in numbers. I don't want that anymore.

This is my first post, and I'm going to make sure I am loyal to this diary.

My pledge:
Losing weight is important to me. I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror and being disappointed. I am going start making a commitment to losing weight right now. Too many times have I said that I'll start tomorrow. Too many times have I said it's ok. I need to lose, I need to be healthy and most importantly I need to be happy about myself.

I pledge to write in this diary at least once I day. I will record the food I eat absolutely HONESTLY. I will NOT lie and kid myself. If I've eating like a pig, I'm still going to write it down.

This is my pledge. It's time to commit to losing weight. I do not want to lose sight of my goal.

The answers to the questions:
-- How much weight do you want to lose?

15-20 pounds

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?

4 months

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?

Drink more water. Don't eat so much sugar. Make sure I don't leave the house without eating breakfast. Don't eat so much at night. Only eat half of my portions when eating out. Focus on PEOPLE not FOOD. Become interested in activities again. Don't eat while watching TV. Don't watch so much TV. Ask for support.

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?

Tell my family and friends.

-- How realistic is your goal?

Very realistic. I'm somehow blessed with the ability to lose weight as long as I have committed to it.

-- When will you start?

NOW.


That's it for today. It was an overload monster of a food day.
 
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I have something to admit, and I'm typing it in here so I'll admit it to myself...

I popped laxatives tonight.

There. I said it.

I don't know why I did that.. I suppose the desperation got to me. But I won't do it again.

Anyway I can't sleep now. And I have to wake up early; I have a test and a busy day tomorrow.
 
First of all, I'm really glad you were honest about the laxatives.. but there are so many health risks that come along with that for this purpose, ya know? But like ya say- you aren't gonna do that again, so no lectures here :)
I think your goal is uber reasonable, you seem very determined, and this website is AMAZING for support. I will admit to you- I'm a calorie counter, lol :rolleyes: its the only thing that works for me... can't figure out why(theres my admission to you :) ).
Anyway, good luck on your test tomorrow, have a great day, and let us know how your first day goes :D
 
8.42AM, Mon 1 Oct 07 : Consistency.



Current Mood: Not too bad. Felt upset earlier, especially about stooping so low as to take laxatives last night. Threw despression-fit against boyfriend. :(

Currently Listening to: Beautiful Day - U2

--

I have a plan for the week.

The plan this week is CONSISTENCY.

I'm going to eat toast and salsa everytime I'm hungry, and nothing else.

WHY THIS IS OK:
- I don't want to build muscle, and trust me, I think I have enough protein in me to last me a week. I will get protein from beans in the salsa.
- The bread will be double fibre, whole wheat which is extremely healthy! I need the carbs because I DO walk a lot.
- Salsa is preserved :( but it's made of real tomatoes, corn, beans and the spices make it extremely yummy, plus, it's speeds up my metabolism!
- I'm still going to allow myself unlimited amounts of fruits and veges.

I tend to get myself into habits and routines... so I'm going to make sure I keep this up for ONE WEEK ONLY. That means- until next Sunday. If I really can't get out of eating somewhere (like, eating out for instance), I won't be too hard on myself.

:) I hope this works. I'll update tonight!

 
10.05PM, Mon 1 Oct 07


Current Mood: Stomach pain; angry at myself for being so stupid and taking those laxatives yesterday!

Listening to: The whirl of the computer.

--

So. I think I'm doing this right... posting a "reply" to add to my diary?

I don't know.

But anyway, lagniappe was right, maybe just toast and salsa is a little extreme. I had a piece of fish and some prawns as well.

Now time for brutal honesty. What I ate today.

Breakfast: Toast and Salsa
Lunch: Toast and Salsa
Social Event: Prawn Fitter, Fruit, Breaded spring roll like thing.
Dinner: 3 Pieces of Toast (Inclusive of one with salsa). Piece of fish.

Not too bad, I'd say. No veges, but I think I'll be able to make up for that tomorrow. I hate waking up in the middle of the night hungry. I need to make sure I eat enough at dinner time to prevent that from happening.

Non Diet Stuff:

Honestly, the things on my mind right now:
- My awful stomach pain and how I'm NEVER popping laxatives EVER again!
- The meeting for work today; I said something not-so-nice completely accidentally which embarassed someone badly. It was something that didn't have to be said, but I blurted it out. I feel terrible.
- The project outline due on Thursday.

And by the way, the test was HORRIBLE! I'm sure everyone else found it remarkably hard too, so we'll see what happens.

Words to Fall Asleep:

Tomorrow is a new day, and a wonderful day. It's truly a blessing and a beauty to be alive.

 
Are you sure eating just toast and salsa is sensible?

Your missing out on SOOOO many nutrients, like calcium and vitamin C.

And no, your not getting much protein, not as much as you need. Why are you in such a hurry to lose the weight?

I suggest adding in some fruit and vegetables, even that would make your diet a lot healthier.
 
Thanks for your message, and you're right, I DEFINITELY need fruits and veges, and I agree about the protein. :) I wanna be doing this thing right!
 
sweetheart said:

I'm going to eat toast and salsa everytime I'm hungry, and nothing else.

WHY THIS IS OK:
- I don't want to build muscle, and trust me, I think I have enough protein in me to last me a week. I will get protein from beans in the salsa.
Click to expand...

As a female, you won't build up lots of bulky muscle unless you're training like a bodybuilder. Building muscle of any kind is hard to do when you're in a calorie deficet b/c muscle building requires an excess of calories. Also, lean muscle is great b/c it makes you look toned--not flabby. Strength training while dieting is still a great thing to do b/c it will make you lose fat and not muscle. The more muscle you have, the faster your metabolism will be.
 
10.04PM, Tues 2 Oct 07



Current Mood: Rather disappointed (but not upset) at self and bloated :(

Listening to: Together Tonight- Brian Culbertson

--

2 times of the day I love most:
1. Mornings; when the mist is just right and the sun is just starting to sneak over the trees, and everything smells so fresh.
2. Evenings: Listening to beautiful music with a scented candle lit next to me typing away on my lap top.

These are the little joys of life aren't they.

Well, I had a good day. Did a lot- but ate a lot too! Here it is, the brutal honest truth.

Breakfast: Toast and Salsa
Lunch: Greek Salad (Celery, Tomatoes, Bleu Cheese [I prefer bleu cheese to feta!] Olives and Red Onion- Self made, thank you very much! :D), and Toast with Salsa
Dinner: The remainder of the Greek Salad, 3 pieces of bread- Toast sized bread (!!) A Tortilla (!!) 2 Breaded Fish Fillets (!!)

Ok. So dinner was out of hand. And I feel completely bloated right now! Somehow, my spirits are still good though. :) Previously, I would have been really upset about this, but somehow, I'm not too upset tonight.

But if I'm going to stay on track with my diet, I've GOT to remember that my dinner was NOT ACCEPTABLE!

I said at the beginning of this whole thing that I DONT want to count calories because of the effect it had on me previously... Seeing food as numbers is NOT something I want to do. Portion control is what I was going to focus on, and that's the main concern to me right now. I mean, 3 pieces of bread, a tortilla AND 2 breaded fish fillets? That is NOT a PORTION!!

Yep, portion control is really where the problem with me is.

Another busy day tomorrow. Class, then a meeting with a client. Also must make sure I make time for studying for my test on Thursday. And now, to call my Daddy :)

Words to Fall Asleep to:
... I'm to bloated to think. No honestly, I can't think of anything inspirational right now. My tummy kinda hurts!

 
You are bloated because you are eating too many starchy carbs, they make you bloated and you retain more water.

If you want to lose weight maybe only eat 2 slices a day?

But the salsa is good! Its low calorie and really tasty!
 
Ah Ha!



Hmm... thanks for that pointer about the starchy carbs retaining water. Didn't know about that! I can hardly lie down right now!

UGHHHHH well tomorrow will be a better day. We'll let it go tnoight but make sure I don't make this a habit :)
 
well it looks like you are focused! Keep it up!

If you dont mind me asking, what do you do (job)?
 
What I do :)



Oh no I don't mind you asking at all!

I'm actually a student, I'm doing Business with a concentration in marketing, and this is my final year.

I'm also working for 2 clients on 2 separate projects now actually.. sort of like an internship thing (but we can't call it an internship for legal reasons :p) One project is to develop the marketing communications program for the University's Study Abroad Program. The other is developing the marketing program for a start-up Federal Credit Union.

Classes at the same time too :p But it's all good, it's exciting.

How bout you? What do you do? :)
 
9.57PM, Wed 3 Oct 07



Current Mood: Content, peaceful, internally satisfied with the day

Listening to: Eden by Enigma

--

Ok let's start off with the food, which again, isn't GREAT but there you go! I'm not upset with it or anything. I feel much better than I did last night when I felt bloated and completely stuffed!

Breakfast: Toast and Salsa
Lunch: 2 Toast and Salsa
Evening: Toast and Salsa (Consistent, aren't I!)
Dinner: 1/2 a bag of BURNT popcorn, WheatThins (LOTS)

I know I didn't have any fruit or vege or even protein. I just naturally don't feel like it; really. But what I had today has been good stuff. The toast I eat is either Sour Dough Rye (which is my absolute favorite bread EVER), or Whole Wheat with Double Fibre. My Salsa is full of beans, fresh tomatoes, corn, peppers and all that good stuff. Popcorn was more of a snack, but even that is 94% fat free.

But today- I discovered how much I absolutely ADORE Wheat Thins!! WOW those are little healthy pieces of MAGIC which just dazzle around in my mouth! I love those things! I wish they weren't so CARB-Y, but I will settle myself knowing that they're made of Wheat and can be justifiably healthy. I love that stuff. Mm-MMM!!

The rest of the day was fine. LONG! But fine. Woke up early and took the bus for my class, almost fell asleep on the bus on the way home, but knew I had that meeting to go to, so I had lunch (Toast and Salsa hehe) and a coffee, which perked me up quite a bit thank goodness! Meeting went GREAT; I was relaly happy with it! Then, came home, did some studying, and now gonna edit the outline for the OTHER project proposal due tomorrow.

Busy busy. And I have a test tomorrow. Again...

But I take comfort in knowing that after tomorrow, the busy-ness halts for a while, and UGLY BETTY and GREYS ANATOMY are on TV! Horray!! 2 hours of absolute mind numbing zoning out bliss :D

That's it for now. Will be back at this site after I format that document.
 
7:50AM, Thurs 4 Oct 07



Current Mood: Wide Awake, Wish I'd made a coffee

Listening to: Big Girls Don't Cry REMIX

--

Woke up around 4AM HUNGRY. I hate it when that happens. Ah well. So I had some WheatThins and an apple (healthy food!), and went back to bed

I just had my toast and salsa for breakfast, and now I'm gonna make my way to school early and have a coffee before the lectures start. I need to study for the test I have later too.

I will add to this entry later when I eat more throughout the day :) It's another BEAUTIFUL (although cold!) morning today. In fact it's so pretty outside I just can't stand it!! It's so peaceful just looking out my window- the way the sunlight brightens up the trees and the clouds slowly clear away to reveal such a bold, comforting endless blue.

I know there are many who'd disagree, but in my opinion, it's hard to find a place with weather more beautiful than right here in California. :)

Off to school now.
 
sweetheart said:


Oh no I don't mind you asking at all!

I'm actually a student, I'm doing Business with a concentration in marketing, and this is my final year.

I'm also working for 2 clients on 2 separate projects now actually.. sort of like an internship thing (but we can't call it an internship for legal reasons :p) One project is to develop the marketing communications program for the University's Study Abroad Program. The other is developing the marketing program for a start-up Federal Credit Union.

Classes at the same time too :p But it's all good, it's exciting.

How bout you? What do you do? :)
Click to expand...

Im a Media Planner/Buyer in an Advertising Agency, so that relates to marketing. Wow your final year? You must be exited! What do you plan on doing after you finish your degree?
 
10.24PM, Thurs 4 Oct 07



Current Mood: Neither particularly up or particularly down

Listening to: Nothing

--

Ok I'm NOT happy with my intake today. It's rather embarassing to write down, but I pledged to myself, so here it comes. Breakfast is as mentioned in earlier post.

Breakfast: Apple, WheatThins, Toast and Salsa
Lunch: Greek Salad, Toast and Salsa
Dinner: OUT OF CONTROL... WheatThins (finished the box), 2 fudgecicles, about 7 (although it feels like a hundred) digestive cookies.

I am NOT happy with this. I was quite happy with breakfast and lunch, but I don't know why I ate SEVEN digestive cookies!!! They aren't particularly healthy, and neither are the fudgecicles (but at least those are sugar free). But the digestives? I know they have lots of fibre. But also, I'm sure they've got plenty of FAT in them too.

Dearrrr me.

Well I was watching TV while eating all that- Greys and Ugly Betty. I love my Thursdays for that reason, because the week is over for me! No class on Friday! Yahoo!

What I'm learning: I realized that I know what the problem is. My problem is DINNER! I seem to eat perfectly fine and healthy during the day; it's just dinner that needs an extra care. What can I do about this? Hmm.

I know the reason I eat that much at dinner- because I feel as though "I'm going to sleep soon", and "I need to be satisfied before I sleep".

To be honest, when I eat at dinner time, I eat until I'm satisfied. Breakfast and lunch usually fill me up, but I make sure I stop. Dinner is a meal which I want to be able to eat and say "I'm satisfied" because I hate waking up in the middle of the night hungry.

Again, I'm aiming for portion control. Instead of eating so many carbs during dinner time, I suppose I should start off with some vege or fruit, followed by my main meal (which should be pre planned), and then even end with some fruit again.

No matter what I eat, I always think I'm eating too much: This is so true. Thinking back to my earlier diary entries... I usually say "I ate too much" or "I could have had less".

I need distraction for after I'm done eating: Tonight I grabbed the WheatThins box and ate during TV. Then, went to the Fudgecicles and ate those while watching TV. The Digestives box was right there, so I jsut grabbed those and continued on eating. I should have ate and THEN watched TV after I'd brushed my teeth, showered, changed and gotten all comfortable.

Nothing much else interesting going on. My test was harder than I thought, but the rest of the day was fine. My boyfriend is a complete angel and I love him to little bits and pieces. I'm so proud of him :) I really am.

That's it for tonight.

Tomorrow will be a better diet day. I hope :/ Self Control. Self Control.
 
Work Plans



I don't know yet, I honestly haven't given it THAT much thought. If I get an impossible-to-let-go job opportunity that would be great, but if not, I was thinking of taking some time off. At least 3 or 4 months. My boyfriend's working right now and doing pretty well, so things are good for the time being. But I love working and I love marketing so eventually I'll look for a job :)

And that's such a coincidence. We were just going through the job discriptions of media buyers today in one of my marketing classes!

I'm SO excited to graduate. I can't wait! Where do you work?
 
5.00PM, F 5 Oct 07



Current Mood: Happy :)

Listening to: Boys of Summer by DJ Sammy

--

Was going to go to Shoreline (Lake/Park/Beautiful place) for a coffee and to just enjoy the view while I did some work and studied. But I felt really lazy and decided not to go. I guess it's not too late yet.

Hmm... it IS really pretty outside and would be a shame to not enjoy it. ...but then again, it's pretty cold today, and almost 5 already.

Anyhoo, here's what I had so far:

Breakfast: Toast and Salsa
Lunch: Tomato soup (the can) and 2 Slices of Toast.
Dinner: ...I don't want to talk about dinner. Ughh here goes...

Dinner.
- 2 Chocolate Chip Granola Bars
- 2 Pieces of Toast
- Greek Salad
- Oatmeal
- About a billion WheatThins
- 2 Fudgecicles


I'm starting to get hungry again. Imagine that! It was hardly 3 hours ago that I ate.

I need something to do. I don't feel as though I have much work this weekend (trust me, I'm not complaining!) I need to grocery shop. That's always fun! :D

More later.

Just edited the food section.

Current Mood: Shocked at "dinner", full but not bloated (that's the good part).

Listening to: Nothing.

I'm shocked and amazed about how far off my diet I strayed tonight. I'm pretty upset. Actually, I'd rather just not talk about it.

I guess if we're looking for positives- I didn't eat anything that's really BAD for me (besides the quantity).
Granola Bars: Even though they're chocolate chip filled, they've got oats, etc. Also, these are low fat.
Fudgecicles: Only 40 cals per bar, (not that I'm counting cals), but they're sugar free too.
WheatThins: These are my current problem. I love them too much even though they're reduced fat pieces of heaven.
Greek Salad: Full of Vege- never bad.
Toast: Just got 40 cal per slice toast. It's full of fibre, and all that good stuff.
Oatmeal: This is actually GOOD for me, so can't really complain about that.

So there we go. Nothing BAD... but the quantity I'm eating in... BAD. That's what I mean. Portion control really, truly is my problem!

Mom is coming tomorrow, and Grandma is coming to live with us. Hopefully their presence will take the focus off the food so much! It's pathetic that I would need their presence to control my diet though.

Darn it.
 
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