<3Cerella's Restarting, Refocused and Remotivated<3

Ooooooh girl, reading about the ex and you makes me nervous! Remember how much pain we went through last summer with our respective exes? Careful!

My ex's new girlfriend forbade him to communicate with me, so as stupid as that is, I'm off the hook for getting hurt by that [insert noun for said ex] again!

Glad your tummy shrunk. Keep up the good work!
HUGS
 
Thanx for droppin by ladies:)

Val

I know hey but im good. Im in control this time, not of him but of me...there is always that wouldnt it be nice t hough and hopeful thought in the back of your head however, ya know, but Im good.I am no longer in love with him.At this moment in time I do not love him and he still has a long way to go and alot to prove - it has only been a cpl months I think...i mean it is good but usually nothing lasts longer than that only time will tell. We arent having sex or doing anything...he is seeing Taneesha only and without us being involved which is great and a first...Other than going for a ride on his bike with him, Taneesha and I see him together and that is only when I see him as well.We are attending a concert together in Aug - 3 doors Down, Staind and Hinder, Im totally stoked:)!!!

MJ

For the first time in a looong time, I feel like I am gonna gt to onderland...I am confident and happy and hope I can keep this up. My eating isnt the greatest but whatever I am doing is working so far.
 
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Curvie Girlie said:
*hen clucking* oooooookaaaaay!

Take care
HUGS
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The concert is what got us started talking agian more regularly, he always msgd me on and off but I rarely talked to him...7 months went by with very little contact, i think that was the best time, i totally got over everything and no longer care...I already accepted that he is not a part of Taneesha's life as well, go figure huh. The most important thing is tha the is finally building a relationship with his daughter and they are both enjoyign it and their time together, ultimately that is all I have ever wanted...our fights stem from him being a defensive, poor me asshole when I dont allow him to come and go from her life and manipulate me...So far so good, no past being dragged up no finger pointing, no name calling...even compromises...we even got through an arguement, talked ti out and worked it out...he didnt run away liek a little child...so who knows...Im optimistic for my daughter and for us to possibilly be friends if that is what I want...we will see.
 
Curvie Girlie said:
That all sounds wonderful! Yes, it's funny how when an ex is totally out of your life you lose attachment...
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Val

I had a cpl of melt downs this weekend. SOme of it to do with him but mostly I have just been so damn stressed out and emotional due to the stress and no sleep and being absolutly exhausted!

Anyway, he is veiwing this as a relationship so to speak.Being patient and going slow, getting to knwo one another agian and see what happens and were thigns go. I have been freakign out and emotionally distract over soemthign kinda minor and selfish, which is unlike me. After talking to a guy friend, a cpl of close g/fs and my x, I think Im ok agian, LOL...I have made my decisiona nd I know what I am gonna do and we will jsut see what happenes from there.

For once I am getting what I want, He is seeing his daughter and building a relationship with her.Intiating it and doing it regularly. We are getting along and enjoying eachothers company. We can have convo's and treat eachother with respect and work out problems...so far anyway...lol...

I just think all the change and me being stressed has just been a little overwhleming in itself ya know. Everythign with him is going well, great infact.We are both happy with everything so far. there is just always that when will it change , is this to good to be true shit.

I know what I dont want, LOL...and that is a relationship with him or anyone else , righ tnow not interested but I think if we can continue on as we have been it might possiblly mean a future way down the road.
 
I havent been recordign my eating but it has been ok these last cpl of days. The worst was I had chinese on fri night and I havent been exercising these last cpl of days, just been exhausted beyond words...and super fricking emotional, lol, which i hate and cant stand!

Oh and yesturday I had half of a peanut buster parfe, lol.

My weight, I weighted in yesturday mornign at 230:)1.2 lbs down from last week!
 
In which way emotional?
maybe there is something besides the work you are not satisfied with. can you somehow affect it by changing something?
hang in there sweety :)
 
I'm glad the ex is improving and taking the trouble to have a relationship with his daughter. That is great for her to have her dad in her life in a positive way. :)

As to you two, I think you're smart to take things very slowly as you are. If I remember correctly, he was quite the bastard to you in the past. So make him work HARD to get back into your good graces. I think you are a lot stronger than your were then, so I think you'll be fine whether he keeps up the good behavior or regresses back to the old.

Congrats on the weight loss, too! :hurray:
 
Lena - When I get exhausted beyond belief - I do nothing, don't exercise for obvious reasons and just tend to sit around tired and bored. Tired and bored isnt good for me. My mind has always gone a mile a minute but can be kept under control when im always go go go and busy...Im a bit high strung and being busy non stop works for me. I get emotional due to being severely sleep deprived. I work the nights so typically i get abt 3 - 4 hrs of sleep a day and then work 10 hr night shifts...I havent been sleeping on my days off either so one can see how well that goes, lol.

I also think the x and i getting along is very confusing and hard ya know. When you no longer fight with someone you remeber that you like them and what you liked abt them ya know.I have put my past behind me with the x and it seems he has as well...I was stuck on my part of the past that I didnt realize was the past and thanx to a cpl of good friends and a talk with him I was able to myself in check and make a decision.

Ultimately my emotions result from me being exhausted, I only have emotional melt downs and cry when I havent sleeped in a looong time, lol!

BB

Ya he has been a mother fucker in the past but so have I. I think it results from wanting something or someone and seeing that no progress has been made or nothing has changed and or getting your hopes up and such.

For the first time in 5 yrs we arent fighting and we are gettign along nad it has been consistant for abt 3 months...he is even actually listening to me and supportign me emotionally, it is like everthing i have bitched abt and been persistant abt for the last 5 yrs is all being wrapped up for me in a nice gift and delievered to me...he has been great, to me and with me and ditto for Taneesha.He wants to take things slow and is asking me for patients which scares me a bit, That means he has intention or is thinking abt intention behind things...ie, he wants things to work out so there for he wants to go slow and take our time and see what happens...

Anyway we have always done things mostly my way, meaning we jump into everythign right away fast and everythign falls apart...I dont really have anyhting to loose as I thougth I had dealt with everythign and gotten over him and also accepted that he isnt a part of Taneesha's life and look what happens, lol...Im just taking it one day at a time and gonna see what happens.
 
i thought that being sleep deprived probably affects it the most. maybe you should take some extra vitamins in those periods to help a bit :)
 
I would make sleeping one of your top priorities. It is soo bad for your body and mind not to get a decent amount of sleep. Grab some whenever you can. :)
 
Stopping in to say hello. I am glad your ex is on his best behavior, but I just hope he doesn't turn around and end up hurting you after gettingyour hopes up. Who knows...people can change, right??

I hope you are getting enough rest.
 
*tiffany* said:
Stopping in to say hello. I am glad your ex is on his best behavior, but I just hope he doesn't turn around and end up hurting you after gettingyour hopes up. Who knows...people can change, right??

I hope you are getting enough rest.
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Hey Hun, I need to drop by your diary, I alays read it but dont always post, lol. I know it might seem my hopes are high but trust me they arent. Im in more control of myself than I ever was. It is nice heis being decent but I always wonder how long it will last...he has been proving me wrong so far and remaining nice and such and consistnat but he is still the lying cheating asshole that treated me so wrong and so badly...Im continuing to wait for the fall and expecting it, till then Im just glad we are fianlly able to get along decently. It is hard to not let my feelings get invovled as when you start gettign along with someone agian , you remember that you like them. This time has been 100% different than last time. Time will tell.
 
Im gonna start from Mon but also put down my exercise for sat and sun.

Sat
Exercise - 60 mins trampoline
Sun
Exercise - 30 mins Trampoline

Mon

dry Life cereal
blueberries

lasanga

a samosas

a rib
a hamburger

2 corona's

no water LOL

Exercise
50 mins trampoline
30 mins water walking

Tues

3 liters of water

a fried egg sandwich on white bread

a cup of brown beans

cup of instant noodles (i know, I know)

1.5 pieces of pizza
some lasanga

Exercise

40 mins of tennis (it is so damn hot)
30 min walk
 
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