<3Cerella's Restarting, Refocused and Remotivated<3

LOVE the hair! The pics of Taneesha made me smile, what a cutie. She looks juts like ya girl.. Glad you're feeling better :).
 
Thanx Gals,

Ive been really busy...

My bro moved back in and so did my cousin, LOL.

It has been a crazzzy weekend and so on...I have alot of cleaning and organizing to do today...*SIGH* LOL

I also have ALOT to update on...
 
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Wow your daughter looks just like you! loved the pics! you have to see the pics of the new borken tooth my baby boy is sporting... very charming lol... ill probably post em later lol
 
hi...

Thanx Gals,

Ive been really busy...

My bro moved back in and so did my cousin, LOL.

It has been a crazzzy weekend and so on...I have alot of cleaning and organizing to do today...*SIGH* LOL

I also have ALOT to update on...


well no matter what is going on in your life...you are not showing the stress of it in your face...in your new pic you look like you have a smooth babyface!!

so hopefully that means you are taking some time for yourself too!! hope so...:hug2:
 
well no matter what is going on in your life...you are not showing the stress of it in your face...in your new pic you look like you have a smooth babyface!!

so hopefully that means you are taking some time for yourself too!! hope so...:hug2:

Ha - thanx:)

I guess I am still kinda young at 30...LOL
 
Hey Cind
( I cant see "cinderelly" without thinkin of those little mice singing that song in the disney movie) And yes Im man enough to admit I watch Disney movies...but I did fantasize about doing bodily harm to Barney when my oldest was little and made me watch it over and over and over.
Anyway sorry about lapsing into a kids character rant on your thread. Hope you are doing good and staying on plan.
 
Hey girly.. we seem to keep missing each other whether its texting or whatever you know we need to keep in touch. Our kids take so much outta us but having the support of friendship and just talking to someone who knows what your going through and has been there too once before in some way or another seems to help a lot. I know you have helped me through some tough shit and i have and will be there when you need me even though i can't physically be there for you. Both of us have a lot of pent up shit to deal with and I think the best way to get rid of it for us is to exercise through the anger and release it there. That is what has worked best for me. I really could use a place to exercise.. I hate being stuck in the fucking hospital but if it means getting Alex back to a healthy happy normal child then i'm going to do whatever i gotta do. I know you understand.. I can't wait till the day we can truly met in person as i feel like you understand me more then any of my other friends do. Anyways hope you feel better and if you ever need to talk or just vent you know where to find me. hugs.
 
Hey Cind
( I cant see "cinderelly" without thinkin of those little mice singing that song in the disney movie) And yes Im man enough to admit I watch Disney movies...but I did fantasize about doing bodily harm to Barney when my oldest was little and made me watch it over and over and over.
Anyway sorry about lapsing into a kids character rant on your thread. Hope you are doing good and staying on plan.

LOL...No worries, when I taught kis they always called me cinderella:)And I hated Barney with a passion too:)

Im doing ok...Thanx:hug2:


Hey girly.. we seem to keep missing each other whether its texting or whatever you know we need to keep in touch. Our kids take so much outta us but having the support of friendship and just talking to someone who knows what your going through and has been there too once before in some way or another seems to help a lot. I know you have helped me through some tough shit and i have and will be there when you need me even though i can't physically be there for you. Both of us have a lot of pent up shit to deal with and I think the best way to get rid of it for us is to exercise through the anger and release it there. That is what has worked best for me. I really could use a place to exercise.. I hate being stuck in the fucking hospital but if it means getting Alex back to a healthy happy normal child then i'm going to do whatever i gotta do. I know you understand.. I can't wait till the day we can truly met in person as i feel like you understand me more then any of my other friends do. Anyways hope you feel better and if you ever need to talk or just vent you know where to find me. hugs.

Hey Heather,

I know in the beginning our lack of communication was hard for me to deal with but Ive gotten use to it now:(...I want Alex to get the help and care he needs and unfortunately you are where you need to be regardless of how crazzzy you are going:hug2:

Im here for you 100% you know that!

And one day we will meet for sure.We arent far away from eachother...could always meet across my border or something:)You could go see your friend and we can make arrangements to meet up...I will also drive out that way one day, Kaylea adn I have talked abt it, she would love to see Cali as would I.

Definately one day once everything is settled down more we will meet.

I already feel like I know Alex, LOL adn I feel connected to Cam as we talked all through your pregnancy:)
 
Wow! I'm loving that new avvie! Your hair looks great too - and what cute pics of your little one.

Sure sounds like big changes at your place with all the shifting. I guess you need more time before you can fill us in.
 
Good Morning!!!!! How are things going for you!!!? thanks for stopping by my page the other day! I really really appreciate the support.... its something that totally helps keep me motivated!!
 
Wow! I'm loving that new avvie! Your hair looks great too - and what cute pics of your little one.

Sure sounds like big changes at your place with all the shifting. I guess you need more time before you can fill us in.

Thanx:) Well my ex of course...is what I wanted to talk abt and a few other things...
 
OK some ME time for my diary, LOL...

Where to start...Maybe with the good stuff:D

My cous moved in with us on Saturday...She is only stayin gtemporarily as she is between places...cant be in her new place till the 20th and left the old place cuz her roomie had to move out and I ssuggested to her to give their notice and come hang here with us for a while...so tha tis that.

We get along great, she has lived here before and is awesome with the kids:)She helps me out as well adn gives me a lil break, it is nice ya know.

She was telling me how it had been awhile since hse saw us and how amazed she was at how good im lookinglShe said between my body and my hair I was looking awesome and so much better than the last time she was here, maybe a month ago...

:beating:AAAWWW:beating:

Then my oldest hung out with a few of her friends I hadnt seen in awhile and they were telling me how good I look and tha I lost alot of weight

Nice to hear and these are from ppl I havent seen ina whil and from 14 yr old girls:D

Im back to the same happy go lucky Cerella...Ive been happy and singing agian and y aknow...my typical go with the flow, enjoy my life, like my job, love my kids, active self:)

I started the second cd of meditation...yesturday was my first day, i will see how things go...Im hoping in over all the dragged up issues and shit and all is back to as normal as I get

The Ex

Well he is an asshole...Basically he is done...he admitted and said he is done...I had to send him a text asking abt mataince and if he claimed it...I wont claim it if he doesnt...I dont see th epoint.He told me he didnt claim it this he, he covered that for me a dn was a good guy...It was a whole 2052 dollars for 12 months of mataince...JERK!!!Anyway, as most of you know, I would trade the money for my daughter to have a relationship with her father but ya tha tis never gonna happen:(

We were in texting hell fo ra bit there.He told me he wanted to start taking her there, he knows he isnt allowed to...Our court order states differently and he has never botthered to be consistan and follow through...With consistancy and following through I told him we could work towards that, it has always bene our deal, plus stated in the order but he couldnt be bothered.He is always here and there never follows through leaves her waitng for him:(

Plus he wont let me know where he lives, my youngest is four, I dont trust the guy all he does is lie to me and put me down every chance he gets.Im not allowing him to tkawe my 4 yr old somewher ei have no idea wher eand to be with his scank of a girl friend that he relays messages from to put me down. Talk abt an insecure cunt:)DID I JUST SAY THAT:)YES YES I DID!!!

So he continuted to bvlame me for everythign as always, Im screwin up his relationship, UM OK, news to me, i have nothign to do with either of them!I wont allow him to se his daughter I treat him like crap even though he is always nice to me no matter what, YA OK...LOL...He treats me like shit and im never around when he is, why do you think I avoid him like the plague...

I cant stand seeing him or hearing him.I will only communicate with him through text only...

I told hjim he should have been more mature and thought things throu a bit more before playing games and putitng me down nonstop and playing the well my girl friend said shit.

Now afte not seeing her for 3 weeks and leaving her waiting for him he wants me to let him start takin her ya right...

I do waht I do to protect my daughter.After the last vulgor email I recieved form him i told him he was done and then after he said he was coming and didnt I freaked out!!!I told him he can get a court order and the next time he makes contact with me it better be for legal reasons, Ive had it, he has been doing this to us for 4.5 yrs...If he wanted to be a dada he would have been by now.

I have done everyhting in my power to give him what he needs to be a part of her life.I have been given him chance after change, opportunity after opportunity, ive been flexible and elpful and he cant bother, IM DONE!!!

I feel bad for my little girl but as someone pointed out to me, I need to stop feeling liek i owe the girls a father , they will be just fine as they are and better off even with out thim around!!!

Anyway the final text i ecieved form him was Enjoy your free income WOW, my frre income. The whole 171.00 a month I get, it didnt even cover her expensies as a baby...my free income.!!!It counts as my income, i never know if im gonna get it or have it and Id prefer not to have it but I didnt want him getting off scott free.He wanted the baby it was our decision obviously bu ther pressed for a baby adn then he walks out on me at 9 montsh preggo, broke , just outta hosspy , just on mat leave, WOW...

GOODBYE TO GOOD RUBBISH, IM FOLLOWING THIS ONE THROUGH!!!

I AM DONE' DONE ' DONE!!!











 
As much as i hate to say it I'm glad that your following thru with this decision on not letting him get away with treating you or taneesha like that. His ass so needs to get kicked from here to kingdom come but i'll leave that up to god. I didn't have my father around for most of my life or a great majority of it anyways. I think i have done pretty well and my mom has been the best. I think your girls will be just fine without having their fathers around. It takes a lot more to be a father then just sperm and some men shouldn't be allowed to have kids.. I'm sorry i know you would love for her to have a relationship but maybe now isn't that time since he can't be trusted. I'd leave that up to her if she wants one when she's older ya know.

anyways.. i'm glad that you seem to be happier and doing a great job on getting to a healthier and happier place. Man i can't believe its been almost 2 years since we started chatting. Cause Alex and Taneesha were only 3 at the time.. and they are going to be 5 soon.. yikes.. and now that cameron is here we have even more to chat about.. haha gotta love the whole idea of us having kids so close together even though they take so much outta us.

Ok going to go now.. i'm rambling... haha can't you tell i'm bored... but can't sleep cause no one to document alex's seizures if i'm not awake.
 
You 're looking really good Cerella, your face is glowing in that one shot and its so good to hear you're feeling better and up to your usual energy. Taneesha's hair has got long!
 
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