I was just lamenting the fact that we have lovely windows in this office - that don't freakin' open..now -the troubling thought is --Im not sure if the windows did open -I'd push people out them - ir just jump myself...
2008: The Best Version of Myself
- Thread starter brunettegoddess
- Start date
brunettegoddess
New member
Unfortunately my office is in a one story office park and the windows also don't open (which pisses me off when I want some fresh air). Nonetheless, I think the person in question just saw that, "You snapped my last nerve" face. I don't get snippy in the office because everyone personally in so nice and it's a small office and I just don't need discomfort. But let's call him Hank (which is not his real name). Hank is very VERY detail obsessive... not oriented, obsessive to the nth degree. He said he's been working on subcontracts for the last two months when he gets a chance. They aren't hard to do, but they are time consuming to produce. I showed him how to do them from beginning to end. Usually I would do the contracts but he's a lot more involved (read: totally obsessed) with his projects, so when he said he was doing them I saw an opportunity to have less work and less frustration in getting the finished contracts out the door. So yesterday he tells me he's got most of the contracts done and they are ready to be printed. I go to print them but I have no contracts made in the folder they should be in... and then I realize that to him, when he said the contracts are done he meant that he filled out the general form with the agreed price and the one paragraph scope of the work to be done. He never made an actual contract. He did the easiest, least time consuming step. Then I had to wrangle with him because there are two attachments that need to be dated in case those documents get updated (they are construction schedules) and this blew his mind. He did not understand the easy concept of date the damn schedule so I can put the date the schedule was created in the contract. When I told him to forget a date and label them as Version 1 it suddenly smacked him in the head... so now I have two schedules with dates and versions. Then I had to do different contracts for smaller orders which he also filled out a form for. I incorporated exactly what he wrote, printed them out and now I need to redo them because for each one he wrote in something that doesn't pertain to that contract. He also never did any of the five attachments that go with it and now it has to be done done done now now now. I want to put a shield at my office door so that he cannot walk into my office. And the worst part is that he will track me down in the office kitchen while I'm heating up my lunch to discuss. I'm fat... I want to eat. I cannot wait to go home and have a drink because he makes everything entirely too complicated.
S
SweatPea
Guest
That's funny, cause I can't stand the taste of powdered sugar either. And you're right it tastes like that bag - well that is if I were going to try to eat the bag. 
I made a butter cake for my bday - the frosting had lemon zest in it - and a raspberry jam in between the layers. It was really good. I got the recipe from a magazine. Of course in the mag it had this cake made with fondant daisies and a bumblebee cookie (I don't know why you would want to go thru all that trouble for one cookie!) But I didn't do the daisies or the cookie. It was all good though.
I get the baking bug once in awhile as well. I think my family would like for me to get it more often.
I made a butter cake for my bday - the frosting had lemon zest in it - and a raspberry jam in between the layers. It was really good. I got the recipe from a magazine. Of course in the mag it had this cake made with fondant daisies and a bumblebee cookie (I don't know why you would want to go thru all that trouble for one cookie!) But I didn't do the daisies or the cookie. It was all good though.
I get the baking bug once in awhile as well. I think my family would like for me to get it more often.
brunettegoddess
New member
The food plan was going well until yesterday... we ended going out for strombolis... I ate half of mine but it was a big half... and I just ate the rest of it for lunch. I kind of felt gross feeling full after dinner... that's not happened in a few weeks... so I ate less at breakfast and by the time lunch rolled around I was starving. I'll make sure to have a light dinner tonight.
Hank continued to drive me crazy this morning... I honestly feel like not even coming in tomorrow but I don't think that's very polite to my boss. And we really don't have official personal/sick days, even though if I ditched tomorrow I would still get paid... almost makes the thought even worse. But now Hank is out at a meeting for 95% of the afternoon... my plan is to get this project finished and out the door before he can nit pick one more thing.
So after that whole big mess yesterday and the visit of my period this week, I was ready to burst. I am embarrassed to say that I still get childlike mopey and sad. Jeff picked me up from the train station and I had already started weeping while i was waiting for him. I destressed about work, keeping it together. But then we got home, we were cuddling on his bed and i just started sobbing about the most ridiculous things. That poor boy doesn't know what to do with my half the time. But then he was adorably affectionate and gaves me kisses on the forehead and wrapped me up in his arms and squeezed me. Saying that I'm a pretty lucky girl is such an understatement
Hank continued to drive me crazy this morning... I honestly feel like not even coming in tomorrow but I don't think that's very polite to my boss. And we really don't have official personal/sick days, even though if I ditched tomorrow I would still get paid... almost makes the thought even worse. But now Hank is out at a meeting for 95% of the afternoon... my plan is to get this project finished and out the door before he can nit pick one more thing.
So after that whole big mess yesterday and the visit of my period this week, I was ready to burst. I am embarrassed to say that I still get childlike mopey and sad. Jeff picked me up from the train station and I had already started weeping while i was waiting for him. I destressed about work, keeping it together. But then we got home, we were cuddling on his bed and i just started sobbing about the most ridiculous things. That poor boy doesn't know what to do with my half the time. But then he was adorably affectionate and gaves me kisses on the forehead and wrapped me up in his arms and squeezed me. Saying that I'm a pretty lucky girl is such an understatement
awwwww -what a sweet fella
and he's lucky to have you silly
and he's lucky to have you silly
S
SweatPea
Guest
Awe!
You know I'm supposed to be a salaried employee, but if I take more than 1 personal day or 5 sick days, they will dock my pay. Which they are going to do when I go on the trip with ds. I get 12 hours of "family time" - which is for school functions, etc. with your kids. So, I won't be docked all 4 days that I'm gone. Dh complained because I was docked for my bday - took the day off for my sister (she came up from FL.) He's just irritated because it's really not salary if they are going to dock your pay. I think they just don't want to pay overtime, so they call it salary. And as teachers and teacher assistants, you're always working over here and there.
You know I'm supposed to be a salaried employee, but if I take more than 1 personal day or 5 sick days, they will dock my pay. Which they are going to do when I go on the trip with ds. I get 12 hours of "family time" - which is for school functions, etc. with your kids. So, I won't be docked all 4 days that I'm gone. Dh complained because I was docked for my bday - took the day off for my sister (she came up from FL.) He's just irritated because it's really not salary if they are going to dock your pay. I think they just don't want to pay overtime, so they call it salary. And as teachers and teacher assistants, you're always working over here and there.
sammyboy24
New member
Kinda crazy at my job too. I don't officially get sick days/vacation/PTO at all. I just kinda sneak it into my timecard because I am the one that fills it out. It's such a crappy situation though. I am a contractor, so obviously the company that i contract for wouldn't be responsible for giving me sick time or PTO, my contracting/staffing company that I get paid through would. Well, they have some shiesty way of getting around it due to how my employment is set up thru them.... I hate it when big companies have this way of screwing over the little guy, so I don't really think twice about "fitting in" my PTO on my timecard when I need to.
Sorry about the anal retentive guy you have working with you. I got a few of those people at my job too, so can sympathize
-Sam
Sorry about the anal retentive guy you have working with you. I got a few of those people at my job too, so can sympathize
-Sam
brunettegoddess
New member
Thanks everyone for stopping in... you guys make me smile
and sucha beautiful smile you've got -you should use it often missy
brunettegoddess
New member
You the know the saying about getting kicked when you're down... well I got knocked out yesterday. My brain has checked out for the week and it's a struggle to stay here at work, until 5 no less. The project with Hank is over and out the door, but today he comes to me hoping to get a log of information. However the information he's been keeping is not in the system that creates logs so he wants to know if I can still print out a log without incorporating the information... honestly, can we say TWAT? And now he just left my office after asking me to label a file folder... um, pull a folder out of the cabinet and label it... it would take less time to do that than ask me to do it and mull over what the label should say. I feel like i'm feeding a dog one piece of dog food at a time when there's a damn bowl right next to it. The sight of him gives me headaches and I bet he makes twice what I do. Sometimes I think I need a new job.
Anyway, getting knocked out... It's been very hard making friends here. My office is no help as everyone is over 45, married with kids. I've signed up witha social network that hosts groups in the city, and you can sign up for a group and then go out and do things with them... did several of those and I didn't click with anyone. Then I did find one group... went out with them last week and had a blast. A few of the ppl from the group are going out to a place to hear some of their friends play in a band and they invited everyone from the group. I was excited to go... Jeff is out of town and they were such awesome ppl to hang out with the first time around I was looking forward to having weekends plans instead of being alone. Well someone made a rather jerkish comment to me and now I'm not going. My excitement has been ruined and now I'm just going to be by myself all weekend and it makes me sad and angry. The person apologized and I'm not mad, but I feel very hurt by what was said. I could still go, but I just feel like what's the point... I'm not looking forward to it anymore.
I can't believe this week has been so miserable. I did some emotional eating for the first time in a long time yesterday and you know what... a piece of chocolate cake with fudge icing made me feel better... unfortunately, it's the best thing to happen to me all week. I was hoping to go to the spa tomorrow after I get my haircut and treat myself but the spa is $$$$ and I need to think about paying rent in two weeks and the couple of trips I have coming up next month that need cashflow. I don't live paycheck to paycheck so in the long run, I'm better off but when I want to do some retail therapy being tight on a very modest salary is the pits.
Anyway, getting knocked out... It's been very hard making friends here. My office is no help as everyone is over 45, married with kids. I've signed up witha social network that hosts groups in the city, and you can sign up for a group and then go out and do things with them... did several of those and I didn't click with anyone. Then I did find one group... went out with them last week and had a blast. A few of the ppl from the group are going out to a place to hear some of their friends play in a band and they invited everyone from the group. I was excited to go... Jeff is out of town and they were such awesome ppl to hang out with the first time around I was looking forward to having weekends plans instead of being alone. Well someone made a rather jerkish comment to me and now I'm not going. My excitement has been ruined and now I'm just going to be by myself all weekend and it makes me sad and angry. The person apologized and I'm not mad, but I feel very hurt by what was said. I could still go, but I just feel like what's the point... I'm not looking forward to it anymore.
I can't believe this week has been so miserable. I did some emotional eating for the first time in a long time yesterday and you know what... a piece of chocolate cake with fudge icing made me feel better... unfortunately, it's the best thing to happen to me all week. I was hoping to go to the spa tomorrow after I get my haircut and treat myself but the spa is $$$$ and I need to think about paying rent in two weeks and the couple of trips I have coming up next month that need cashflow. I don't live paycheck to paycheck so in the long run, I'm better off but when I want to do some retail therapy being tight on a very modest salary is the pits.
Why not still go - what's the worst thing that could happen? you enjoy yourself a bit?
Eh - do something for you - doesn't mean you have to spend money -but do something you'll really enjoy
Eh - do something for you - doesn't mean you have to spend money -but do something you'll really enjoy
lusciouslemon
New member
Missing me, were you! LOL. Just ask my mom...I came out of the oven with plenty of zest!
I hate crappy weeks (what a lame thing to say). Go fudge cake, go!
S
SweatPea
Guest
Hey Girl! How goes it?
brunettegoddess
New member
I can't even believe I let myself get caught up in it being crappy. I had an angsty period and then the domino effect of crappiness happened... I should have chosen to be happy but I think I was just in that mood where I wanted to be miserable... nonetheless I called a good friend of mine and we drank ourselves silly over the phone and had a good time... really cheered me up and made me feel better since I haven't seen her in a year.
It's actually going well. The weight is stable at the moment which makes me happy since I haven't been to the gym since last Monday. I'm terrible for it and I don't think I'm going to make it there this week... my place is a huge huge huge mess and I'm going to DC for the weekend so it needs to get cleaned before then and I'll never clean it when I get home for the gym... and tomorrow I need to do laundry and pack. I'm the worst i-want-to-lose-weight person ever... i go for a few weeks take some time off... go for a few more...but i know my momentum will be back next week and i'll be super strict with the cals and just feel more settled with myself. Plus I am down 5 pounds that I thought I'd never lose. Getting from 195 to 185 has always been hard... but I will reach the birthday goal. Also my friend this weekend is a vegetarian and not a hardcore bar fly so I'm thinking that we really won't be munching and drinking 24/7... although she just broke up with her first boyfriend so I have a feeling one outrageously sinful [chocolate] dessert is in the future and I promised her I would make chicken parm (she's a veg who eats chicken occasionally).
Yesterday I finally bought a tv... got it from a couple off CL... $50 for a 27inch tv and the little entertainment center it sits on... not posh... not HD... not a flatscreen... but it's cheap and it works and it's more than big enough for my small apartment... perfect size really. And apparently I get free cable... which is even better because I can't afford it and I would have settled for the local chanels with some bunny ears on top. Actually I'm just damn happy that I can watch Lost, Grey's Anatomy, the Office and that I get the Food Network. I feel criminal that I'm even excited about that much tv.
Jeff got whisked off to Montreal on a very sudden business trip. 1) I really miss him since he was gone most of last week and then left yesterday and I probably won't see him before I leave for the weekend. 2) I'm really jealous that he's in a beautiful French speaking city... I think we're going to try and head up there for Memorial Day weekend.
Anyway last night I went out to dinner with some Atlanta Couchsurfers (). I finally signed up myself although I can't host with my small apartment, but that's ok too. These were the ppl I was supposed to go out with over the weekend. We ended up at this quaint Greek/Turkish place in Buckhead and it was very delightful... had an awesome chicken gyro. It was nice to get out... living on my own makes me feel lonely a lot more than I thought it would. And there are a few ppl who I (and Jeff when he's home) seem to be making friends with which is very exciting. It's been tough meeting ppl here and I've signed up for things, had lots of dinners and drinks with others but I fit in with these ppl. We all sort of have that mi casa su casa mentality, and we're all pretty down to earth and laid back, humble. And I am poorly traveled... I sat next to a guy last night that quit his job and sold his house and went back packing around the world for the last year and a half... he did 32 countries, and although he doesn't know this... he convinced me to change my next vacation plans from South Africa to going to Brazil for New Years. I'm really looking forward to it and I want to sit down and start planning so I can figure out how much I need to save.
So yeah... feeling just as great as I did before last week. And although I've not been to the gym and have had some treats like fudgy chocolate cake (I would stay fat forever if you told me I had to choose between fudgy chocolate cake or being thin), but otherwise I'm eating pretty balanced... probably eating maintenance... my weight was down .5 this morning but it's all just fluctuations from eating this and that.
sammyboy24
New member
I hear you on the chocolate. I am the same way. I love it. Especially dark chocolate I recently ate some "gourmet" dark chocolates that were flavored with peppers and spices. Very good, I loved them. I also tried this one that was flavored with curry-yuck. I felt like I had taken a big bite of Indian food that had chocolate in it or something.... Not going to eat that one again.
It seems like you travel a lot, that is so cool. I wish I was more like that. I don't travel hardly at all. I have a pretty big fear of flying. Actually I'm pretty sure it's a phobia. I wish I could get past it but I just can't. Flying in a plane is one of the ultimate situations where you aren't in control. So, I guess I'm a control freak, because I can't handle it.
Good luck on getting from 195 to 185. It sounds similar to me wanting to get under 200lbs, it's been really tough for me to tackle that one.
Hope you have a nice time in D.C.
-Sam
I recently ate some "gourmet" dark chocolates that were flavored with peppers and spices. Very good, I loved them. I also tried this one that was flavored with curry-yuck. I felt like I had taken a big bite of Indian food that had chocolate in it or something.... Not going to eat that one again. It seems like you travel a lot, that is so cool. I wish I was more like that. I don't travel hardly at all. I have a pretty big fear of flying. Actually I'm pretty sure it's a phobia. I wish I could get past it but I just can't. Flying in a plane is one of the ultimate situations where you aren't in control. So, I guess I'm a control freak, because I can't handle it.
Good luck on getting from 195 to 185. It sounds similar to me wanting to get under 200lbs, it's been really tough for me to tackle that one.
Hope you have a nice time in D.C.
-Sam
S
SweatPea
Guest
Chocolate is so evil! 
It sounds like you've got a fun weekend planned. Don't worry about the gym, I'm sure you'll get back into the swing of things in no time.
And how long did you go w/o a tv? I don't know if I could stand it. I watch tv when I'm exercising here at home - either something tivoed or a video. I'd go Crazy w/o a tv!
It sounds like you've got a fun weekend planned. Don't worry about the gym, I'm sure you'll get back into the swing of things in no time.
And how long did you go w/o a tv? I don't know if I could stand it. I watch tv when I'm exercising here at home - either something tivoed or a video. I'd go Crazy w/o a tv!
brunettegoddess
New member
I travel about once a month but it's only because my boyfriend works for a major airline and I get a huge discount as his traveling companion... otherwise my ass would stay put because flying is expensive... and to be honest if most ppl understood all of the things that have to happen in order to run an airline, or even have one single flight, they would see that tickets are pretty much a steal... I still wonder how airlines can make profit...but with oil prices few are. I was nervous the first two times I flew... my first airplane excursion was to Belgium... and then I didn't fly again until 2006 to Chicago... so that made me nervous because it was like a second first time. But I've flown a decent amount for someone who doesn't travel for work and to be honest there are times when I still get nervous... I didn't get nervous this weekend but there are trips where I'm afraid of take off, and turbulence.
I have lived in my apartment four months without a tv, but I usually spend half of the week at Jeff's who does have tv. I still don't have internet though... working on getting my computer here from home.
So the weekend was wonderful. Caught up with Becca on the past two years... we were close in college but haven't talked to much since then... no one really wants to spend hours on the phone after work, ya know? Anyway I got there Friday and we went out for some Italian and shared some wine, then went to a jazz/blues bar and got hit on by the band, some guy bought us drinks... it was fun. Saturday we slept it, never made it to the zoo but we walked around Old Town in Alexandria, ate at this organic French bakery, walked down to the pier, then got showers, went out for some dessert and came back to her place for out dinner of cheese and some bread we'd picked up at the French place... I left early yesterday morning. It was a short trip but just enough... and since I left at lunch on Friday it felt like a good long weekend. Then yesterday morning Jeff picked me up from the metro and took me out for brunch.... it's my favorite meal and there's a little diner place that has a few Best of Atlanta awards right around the corner from my apartment... man they had the best biscuits ever! After that we headed back to my place so I could get a shower and we got reaquainted for awhile
, and then he wanted to take me to Six Flags but it had started raining, so we ended up back at his place where I took a nap while he geeked out with some Ogre software before going to an apartment sale at an aquaintance of his who is moving to Uganda... I scored a DVD player, a digital food scale, martini shaker, crepe pan, and bread pan. I made awesome chicken quaesadillas and we called it an evening.Now I want to whine... I haven't been to the gym in two weeks... It's my fault... I've put on some pudge from feasting all this past weekend... I can't even begin to tell you how much bread I consumed... and therefore butter, seasoned olive oils, and french nutellas... but today is monday and I feel like crap. Maybe it's from not treating my body right the past two weeks but I've honestly felt under the weather for awhile and I'm having strange aches and pains... pretty much I have hypochondriac-ed myself into thinking i have a brain tumor... I'm ridiculous and paranoid. So I planned on the gym tonight but I have no food at home and I won't want to go grocery shopping after that... and my sleep has sucked... I've been getting 4-5 hours as compared to my usual 7-8... so I think I"m canning the gym tonight to get food sorted out for the week and then crawling into bed at 10, maybe even 9 if I can manage to get everything done in three hours, and passing out. I'm even game for taking some Tylenol PM... I'll probably have a headache anyway. And can I just say I'm sick of preplanning... I hate it. I hate taking the time to cook and then clean up after all of that food... it's such a cop out... I've been eating better during the week and I know planning is key, but honestly I miss not planning and feeling relaxed and not stressed over every calorie... I know that I could go back to that but I wouldn't be happy with my body which is why I've been doing that to begin with.... blah
I just need to get sleep to revitalize myself and not be so tired.
sammyboy24
New member
Your story of sleep and groceries sounds very similar to mine. My body clock is so out of whack right now that I don't fall asleep until about 3 or 4 am and then end up sleeping until like noon or so... I'm working on changing it around because I really like to get my gym time done in the morning... Tylenol PM might be in store for me too.
As far as flying goes, I have a lot of friends who fly a lot but still get nervous too. I guess it's just part of the whole experience for people. I'm sure I will start flying again someday because I do want to travel eventually, maybe I will just have to take a big Xanax or something before take off
Thanks for cheering me up a little in my diary. I can't let what a complete stranger said to me ruin my whole day, because if you think about it that is a ridiculous amount of power I am giving to someone I don't even know... Words hurt though, its a fact. I just don't have stuff like that happen to me a whole lot, so I guess it takes me by surprise. Even in UT I don't get bothered too much. Maybe I am just lucky but I think I am a genuinely nice person who tries to be nice and see the good in everybody... Sometimes its very difficult though.
-Sam
As far as flying goes, I have a lot of friends who fly a lot but still get nervous too. I guess it's just part of the whole experience for people. I'm sure I will start flying again someday because I do want to travel eventually, maybe I will just have to take a big Xanax or something before take off
Thanks for cheering me up a little in my diary. I can't let what a complete stranger said to me ruin my whole day, because if you think about it that is a ridiculous amount of power I am giving to someone I don't even know... Words hurt though, its a fact. I just don't have stuff like that happen to me a whole lot, so I guess it takes me by surprise. Even in UT I don't get bothered too much. Maybe I am just lucky but I think I am a genuinely nice person who tries to be nice and see the good in everybody... Sometimes its very difficult though.
-Sam
Hello BG! I used to get very paranoid with every ache, pain, and weird sensation but I've found they tend to come and go without incident. I used to get very freaked out in my 20s but after years of getting upset when weird things happened, and after years of nothing ever being wrong (knock wood), I dont tend to get too bent out of shape anymore. Well, just popping in to say hi . Hope you feel better and get back on track with your exercising. TTYL
. Hope you feel better and get back on track with your exercising. TTYL
S
SweatPea
Guest
Hello! Look at you, you just got a tv and already a dvd player!
I'm sure you will get your groove back, just take it one step at a time.
I'm sure you will get your groove back, just take it one step at a time.