140 lbs

1

140 lbs

New member
...is my goal weight. I'm sick of halfhearted, failed attempts at weight loss. I've been doing that for about 15 years now. I was a fat kid, and now I'm an obese 23-year-old. It's wreacked havoc with my self esteem and has held me back in a lot of ways. The weight has really crept on throughout university - 15 lbs one year, 20 lbs the next... I've struggled a lot these past few years with stress, depression and anxiety, and have been pretty indifferent to my appearance and health.

I don't want to sit here and blame all my problems on my weight, but I know it's had a devastating effect on my confidence, happiness, and overall well being. I'm very shy and withdrawn, and pretty self-conscious. I don't date or even socialize much; I feel like in a lot of ways, I'm just letting life pass me by. It would be nice to have more confidence - and to feel like I look good in my clothes. When I gain weight, my #1 problem area is my stomach, which I know is dangerously unhealthy. I'm 5'4 and I weigh 215 lbs. 140 lbs is my target weight, although it will obviously be a while before I'm anywhere near that.

There's so much more I could write, but it's getting late and I have to be up for work early. I'll be back soon to check in! I'm not sure if anyone will read this or comment on it, but I'm going to commit to updating regularly regardless. It will be good to be accountable to something, even if it is just a blog-esque type thing that no one else actually looks at. :p Bye for now!
 
Hello 140 lbs, welcome to the Forum. :) Good for you for wanting to step up and take action for yourself!! :party:

Wishing you the all the best. Take Care :seeya:
 
Hi RunningGirl, thanks for the reply! Good luck to you too!

Today went great foodwise. Being active is the big challenge for me, so that's what I have to really work on. I'm in lousy shape from sitting around so much these past few years and it's time to do something about it! One good thing is my summer job keeps me on a decent schedule. For the first time in years I'm eating and sleeping at regular intervals instead of sporadically.

It's a bit disheartening to think that 140 lbs is so far off, so I'm trying to focus on short term goals to stay motivated. Getting below the dreaded 200 lb mark will be wonderful. I'm also anxious for my clothes to fit properly and look half-decent. I was big before, but I felt like I at least knew how to dress myself...this last 10-15 lbs seems to really show and there's just no hiding it. I have a huge closetful of clothes I'm eager to get back into!
 
Hi 140lbs,

Great target, great start. don't be so negative about how far you are from your goal, look each day at how far you get from your current - let that motivate you to sucess.

Get the food right, do the exercise and you'll be laughing very soon.

Good luck,

Chris.

Visit my website to follow my journey
 
Hi Chris, thanks for the encouragement! (Where do I find a link to your web site? I checked your profile but didn't see a url?)

The eating is going well. My big downfall is eating too much of all the wrong things late at night. It looks like I won't be having many late nights this summer due to my job. As sad as that is (I'm a total night person!) it's working in my favour; I'm usually asleep in bed at the time when I'd usually be craving pizza or chocolate!

Exercising and drinking water are my two biggest challenges right now. Neither thing is particularly difficult. Where exercise is concerned, I'm lazy and selfish about my free time. Where water is concerned, I'm forgetful. Once I get into a routine, I'm sure both will become habit.

It snowed here today - yuck!! But, it should be nice by the long weekend, so I'll get lots of exercise raking the yard and planting the garden.
 
I totally know where you are coming from, I also didn't care about my appearance or my health or anything, was a bit depressed, couldn't be bothered.
I started much closer to my goal weight so I was lucky in a way, but still, the first steps were hardest. once you have found your routine it is much easier!! Much much much easier!

For the water, what helps me is to have water with me at all times, carry a bottle (500 ml, 750 ml or 1 l) in your bag or backpack. If the water is there I will drink it, but if I have to buy it specifically I won't! Plus sometimes what we perceive as hunger is just thirst so if you drink a few oz of water first you will find out iof it really was hunger and I feel (no scientific proof) that if I have drunk a ton of water I eat less during the meal.

What are you changing in your lifetsyle? Are you going to follow a certain diet, or are you going to simply change to more healthy food, less sugary stuff, better meals and less snacking at all hours?
What about exercise? Do you like any for of exercise especially? Are you going to work out in a gym or at home?
Have a great thursday, Camy
 
Just wanted to wish you the best of luck with your weight loss goals :).

Feel free to start a journal in the diaries forum. You can keep us posted and support others (and sap loads of useful ideas and motivation) by visiting their diaries.
 
I was down 2 lbs this morning, so at least the scale has budged a bit this week. I've been good about eating but not great (birthday cake at work, and a coke slurpee during the Grey's Anatomy season finale). It will mean being hungry for a few days until I adjust, but I think I should try to reduce portion sizes some more. I can for sure improve the exercise. So, if I stay on top of things this coming week, I'm sure I can do better than a 2 lb loss.

Hi Camy, I see you're now very close to your goal - congratulations!

I agree, it definitely helps to have water with me whenever possible.

I won't be following any specific diet; while they're good for short term weight loss, I don't feel they're sustainable in the long term (at least not for me). I try to have a general awareness of how many calories I'm eating/drinking each day, but I don't obsess over it.

As for exercise, I will absolutely not be joining a gym. I know it's riduclous, but even when I'm at university and have access to the campus gym, I don't go. I find them completely intimidating and feel incredibly self conscious...so yeah, I'll have to try to get into some kind of routine at home. I'm still finding the exercise to be a challenge. I don't know why I'm so resistant to it because it's not like it's horrible, but I really have to force myself to do anything!

Hi Blancita, thanks for your reply. I'm a bit confused; I thought this is the diary forum? Granted, I haven't looked around the site too much yet because I always seem to come on here late at night and have to hurry off to bed... It's kind of a catch 22, in a way. I'm sure there's all kinds of useful info on here, but I can't help but think this is just more time I'm spending sitting in front of the computer being inactive, haha!
 
Hello 140 lbs,

I have to force myself to eat everyday, and drink my required water as well. But in the end I feel better because of it. It is good to do what is best for you at the time, and with time some things may change. 2 lbs is a Great drop! :party:

TTYL, Take Care :beating:
 
140 lbs said:
I will absolutely not be joining a gym. I know it's riduclous, but even when I'm at university and have access to the campus gym, I don't go. I find them completely intimidating and feel incredibly self conscious...so yeah, I'll have to try to get into some kind of routine at home. I'm still finding the exercise to be a challenge. I don't know why I'm so resistant to it because it's not like it's horrible, but I really have to force myself to do anything!
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heya,
i read your introductory post on this thread and could identify 100% with everything on there. i think your off to a great start by joining the forum, there's lots of info and even better lots of people for support.

i just wanted to mention that i think exercise will be a big plus to your new lifestyle change, it doesn't have to be the gym if you don't want it to be, but as long as you get something to keep you moving even if its workout dvd's that you can do in the comfort of your home. Before i started my lifestyle change i'd also sworn that i'd never join a gym because of how self concious i was....but i had a whole bunch of workout dvds i wasn't doing since the house i'm in for now has really loud creaky floor boards and didn't want to announce to the whole house i was exercising, secondly there's a park 2mins from my house and every day for about a month said i'd go walking there but till today have never stepped foot in that park (plus i was super self concious about walking in public)....so finally i decided to join a gym, day one i was scared sh*tless but had my ipod loud to block out the distractions...now i've been there 3months and have never looked back. i'm the fattest person at the gym and i don't give a hoot, all i know is that everyday i go into that gym and when i leave i feel like a million bucks because i've given 100% in my workout and made myself a little healthier and happier. i still have a looong way to go (190lbs to loose) but i think joining the gym was the best decision i ever made. i'm not saying you should join one, i'm just saying maybe don't discard the gym idea yet...but if you still feel its not for you then there's lots of other ways too.

wishing you all the best on your weight loss journey xoxo :grouphug:
 
Hi cherrygarcia - cute name, lol! Thanks for sharing your experience. Also, congratulations on facing your fears and stepping outside your comfort zone. I agree; exercise is a must for me, no matter how I do it.

It's been a rough week. I've still been eating okay, but I've been pretty inactive. I've had a horrible throbbing headache for the past 8 days that even leftover prescription painkillers haven't been able to knock out. I'm prone to headaches, especially when I'm stressed - but I'm not stressed right now and this is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I'm having trouble concentrating and I'm not exactly dizzy, but my depth perception seems affected. Noise, lights, and physical exertion seem to only exacerbate the pain.

I'm fairly certain it's a migraine, but I'm getting a bit concerned that it's not going away. I reaaaaaaally hate going to the doctor, and I'm reluctant to ask for any time off work to do so, but if it doesn't clear up soon I think I'll have to.

Anyway, sorry there isn't anything positive to report. I doubt the scale has budged this week (I'll check tomorrow, as I forgot this morning). Hopefully that will change next week! I hope everyone else is having more success. :)
 
140 lbs said:
and a coke slurpee during the Grey's Anatomy season finale).
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hehehe...how did i not see this? i'm a recovering tv junkie so i used to watch a ton of shows especially last year but now not as many.

anyway, just wanted to ask what you thought of this seasons grey's anatomy? i was so not impressed especially with the izzy/denny's ghost story line...and just didn't think the season was as good as previous ones.


otherwise really sorry to hear about the migraine. i don't know if this would at all be related (and i'm no expert) but i've noticed everytime i've gone on a diet, and in this case when i started my lifestyle change (now that it's not a silly fad diet as in the past), i got a killer migraine for the first couple of days, i'm almost certain it was related to the fact that my body was going through an adjustment period where it was no longer getting the foods it was used to like high fat and high sugar foods since i'd switched to healthy stuff. i almost also went to see the doctor as well (even though i hate medication), but the day i decided to go my migraine started subsiding a little and a day or so later it was gone. it's never come back, and to be honest ever since i started my health eating my headaches have vanished which i'm really greatful for because i used to have 3-4day long headaches before my lifestyle change.

anyway, i'm not saying the above is what's happening to you (again i repeat since i'm not a professional), i was just saying what happened in my case just to let you know....but of course as always if pain persists it's always best to see a doc just in case.

otherwise all the best xoxo
 
I don't actually have a TV when I'm away at university, but I watch Grey's Anatomy, House, and Private Practice online! I wouldn't say I'm a TV junkie (...anymore - I'm more of an Internet junkie), but I can't miss those shows!

[Warning to anyone who reads this - there are Grey's Anatomy season finale spoilers!]

I wasn't crazy about the Izzy/Denny storyline either. Before we knew they were hallucinations, the idea of Izzy seeing a ghost seemed far-fetched and unbelievable.

On the finale, I thought the George surprise was awesome. I loved George, so I'm sad to see him go (I expect he'll die, or be off the show one way or another). I was absolutely stunned by the "007" part and didn't see it coming at all, so I liked that it wasn't predictable.

The Meredith/Derrick thing annoyed me a little! Are you getting tired of their constant relationship drama? I am, lol. Since they didn't technically get married, I expect the writers will just drag out their relationship drama even more. I'm getting tired of it!!

I agree, last season was great! That's when I got really hooked and started watching regularly. I especially liked the George/Cally/Izzy love triangle. Who are your favourite characters? Do you predict George and Izzy will both die? (It looked to me as though George was dead, and when Izzy was on the elevator it seemed like maybe she was having a near death experience, and was debating about "crossing over" and joining George...)

Thanks for the suggestion about my headache. I think stress seems like the most likely cause - I'm okay now, but the past 5 months have been very trying, so maybe it's a delayed reaction. I don't want to overreact and go to the doctor if it's not necessary; I'm just concerned that it hasn't gone away.
 
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i agree, at least for the finale the whole george/007 story line was quite good but kinda sad, but like you say it looks like his character and izzy's are being taken off the show. i think i'd read sometime back that they both want off the show to progress their movie careers or something so i guess we'll see next season what happens.

yes the whole meredith/derrick thing is also getting to me...i don't know why they can't just live happily ever after....lol!

this season i think i liked christina's story line and the army guy, it took forever to develop but i liked it coz it was a little different. and also for once alex kerev seemed to be human and no longer the a$$hole he used to be...lol!

so the other shows you watch are house and private practice? i think house is a great show but it's just not for me...i love hugh laurie and think he's a great actor but the show just didn't click for me. i also tried private practice but i don't know why i didn't like it, i think all the actors are great, i love taye diggs, kate walsh (esp from when she was on greys anatomy), and amy breneman (used to love the show judging amy)....but for some reason i tried a few of the first season episodes and the show didn't click for me. i'll try and give it a second try sometime.

the show's i like now are brothers and sisters and also lost (but i haven't watched any lost episodes this season so that i can watch them all at once! i can't wait).

okay, here's the tv junkie signing out...lol! :seeya:

140 lbs said:
I don't actually have a TV when I'm away at university, but I watch Grey's Anatomy, House, and Private Practice online! I wouldn't say I'm a TV junkie (...anymore - I'm more of an Internet junkie), but I can't miss those shows!

[Warning to anyone who reads this - there are Grey's Anatomy season finale spoilers!]

I wasn't crazy about the Izzy/Denny storyline either. Before we knew they were hallucinations, the idea of Izzy seeing a ghost seemed far-fetched and unbelievable.

On the finale, I thought the George surprise was awesome. I loved George, so I'm sad to see him go (I expect he'll die, or be off the show one way or another). I was absolutely stunned by the "007" part and didn't see it coming at all, so I liked that it wasn't predictable.

The Meredith/Derrick thing annoyed me a little! Are you getting tired of their constant relationship drama? I am, lol. Since they didn't technically get married, I expect the writers will just drag out their relationship drama even more. I'm getting tired of it!!

I agree, last season was great! That's when I got really hooked and started watching regularly. I especially liked the George/Cally/Izzy love triangle. Who are your favourite characters? Do you predict George and Izzy will both die? (It looked to me as though George was dead, and when Izzy was on the elevator it seemed like maybe she was having a near death experience, and was debating about "crossing over" and joining George...)

Thanks for the suggestion about my headache. I think stress seems like the most likely cause - I'm okay now, but the past 5 months have been very trying, so maybe it's a delayed reaction. I don't want to overreact and go to the doctor if it's not necessary; I'm just concerned that it hasn't gone away.
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House used to be a show I'd just watch occasionally, but I started to really like it last year when all the new cast members joined. I also get a kick out of the House character - he's so narcissistic and rude, yet I can't help but like him! His mind games make me laugh.

A lot of people seem to be unimpressed by Private Practice. I've watched it from the beginning and really enjoy it. I didn't watch Grey's Anatomy back when Kate Walsh was on it, so maybe that's the difference? A while back there were a couple of episodes where Grey's and Private Practice merged, which I thought was great.

I've never watched Brothers & Sisters - what's it about?

When Lost first started, I adored it. (I started watching because Matthew Fox was on it...I used to love Party of Five, so I was excited to see "Charlie" on TV!) 2 or 3 seasons in, I lost (heheh) interest. It seemed like they were just finding hatch after hatch, and I ran out of patience. I watched it up until the point where the little kid (Walt?) was abducted by pirates.

I have caught it once or twice since then, and it looks kind of interesting...I take it they got off the island at some point? It strikes me as the sort of show where a person has to watch every episode to follow what's happening, and while I think I might enjoy it again, I figure I don't need any more TV obsessions, haha. Maybe I'll pick it up again someday when I have more time, who knows!
 
I haven't been putting much effort into weight loss. I'm generally eating well, but my horrible headaches have prevented me from getting much exercise (it makes the pain worse).

I went to the doctor on Monday, and he thought it was likely migraines caused by stress. I tried some crazy-expensive pills that weren't covered by my insurance (grrr), and they didn't do a thing. I've had a different prescription filled now (that cost me $2, yay!); I'll give it a go tomorrow. I'm really hoping it does the trick!

So anyway, yeah, not much to report. Last week the scale didn't budge, and I'm not really expecting much of a change this weekend either. The good news is that my blood pressure is perfect despite being so fat...and apparently stressed more than usual (if that's possible?) - that's reassuring! :willy_nilly:
 
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Hi 140lbs,

Hope your enjoying the forum. Its great that your here and determined to lose weight. Im sure your headaches will be sorted soon and you can get into excercising. I think many of us struggle with the excercise thing at some stage. I felt so self concious at the gym when i started, but now that ive lost some weight my confidence is going up. I have had a new sports top that i got nearly 8wks ago. I can finally fit it, so im quite chuffed with being able to wear it to the gym.

Best of luck with your journey :waving:
 
heya, thanks for stopping by my diary. i'm really sorry to hear that your migraines are still going on coz i know what i downer that can be...and just like you said it makes exercise near impossible. but at least your eating right which is really great...so hopefully once the migraines subside then the scale can start budging again. i don't know why the scale has to rule us all...lol!

otherwise going back to tv (of which i'm an expert...lol!), i saw you'd asked in your other post what the show 'brothers and sisters' was about. it's basically about a big family called the 'walkers' and all their issues,...i think the acting is quite good and the storyline too...maybe sometime you can try an episode or two and see what you think.

otherwise hope you feel better, will check in again sometime xoxo
 
kakutzi said:
Hi 140lbs,

Hope your enjoying the forum. Its great that your here and determined to lose weight. Im sure your headaches will be sorted soon and you can get into excercising. I think many of us struggle with the excercise thing at some stage. I felt so self concious at the gym when i started, but now that ive lost some weight my confidence is going up. I have had a new sports top that i got nearly 8wks ago. I can finally fit it, so im quite chuffed with being able to wear it to the gym.

Best of luck with your journey :waving:
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Hi kakutzi, thanks for your post.

The headaches seem to be subsiding a bit these past few days. It was constant pain for 12 days, but now the pain comes and goes. The prescriptions from my doctor don't seem to be helping, so I'm going to try to just let the migraine run its course. (I've probably been a drama queen about it - it's just that I've never had a headache this bad for this long before, and it scared me a bit. I feel better just knowing that it's only a migraine and nothing serious!)

It's so nice to hear that you've been successful in your efforts to lose weight, and that it's had a positive impact on your confidence. I lost 30 lbs a while back (in a very unhealthy way :() and I noticed that my confidence went up too...and likewise, it's hit an all-time low now that I've gained the weight back. On the one hand, it's sad that confidence can depend so much on what the scale says. On the other, I guess that's all the more reason to lose those extra pounds!

Congrats on fitting your sports top! That's such a nice feeling of accomplishment!

cherrygarcia said:
heya, thanks for stopping by my diary. i'm really sorry to hear that your migraines are still going on coz i know what i downer that can be...and just like you said it makes exercise near impossible. but at least your eating right which is really great...so hopefully once the migraines subside then the scale can start budging again. i don't know why the scale has to rule us all...lol!

otherwise going back to tv (of which i'm an expert...lol!), i saw you'd asked in your other post what the show 'brothers and sisters' was about. it's basically about a big family called the 'walkers' and all their issues,...i think the acting is quite good and the storyline too...maybe sometime you can try an episode or two and see what you think.

otherwise hope you feel better, will check in again sometime xoxo
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Hi cherry! Thanks for the kind words...I don't know why the scale has to rule us all either! Weighing in regularly does help me stay on track, though - otherwise that stupid weight has a way of creeping on!

Since tomorrow is the start of the work week and the start of a new month, it seems like the ideal time to start a new exercise routine. I've downloaded a bunch of "workout music" and will try to put it to good use starting tomorrow!

All of my favourite TV shows are done for the season, so I just may have to check out Brothers and Sisters one of these days, lol
 
Hi guys. I stopped updating and my weight loss efforts kind of came to a standstill for a while. Health stuff and school stuff seemed to take right over. Thankfully, that's behind me for the time being.

The headaches aren't debilitating anymore. I wake up with them but don't seem to have them throughout the day now. What a relief! They made me not want to exercise at all - not that I'm ever too enthused about exercise, lol. Now that I'm feeling good again, I'm determined to make working out a part of my daily routine.

I had to go back to university for a few days to write exams. The studying, etc. took priority for a while there, and I let everything else slide. I'm happy to report that exams are now over! It's so great to only have work to think about for a couple of months; now my weekends are mine!

The other night I bought a Gazelle. Between mosquitoes, hot weather, and being self conscious, I just don't see myself exercising out of the house much. If I park exercise equipment in front of the TV, I can still be a couch potato while I'm working out. :p I know Gazelles may not be as great a workout as some other equipment, but I've had one before (it's at my apartment, actually) and I liked it. My mom wants to use it too, so now we have one for her house and one for my place. The plan is to use it for an hour a day, at least in the beginning. (I start tomorrow!)

It's been a while since I've weighed myself and I forgot to this morning, so I'll have to check in again soon to update that. (I suspect the scale hasn't moved much since last time). I'm re-motivated and eager to lose this unattractive flab!

I hope everyone else is well. :)
 
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