120 pounds.. but I'm still so big!

A

amorata

New member
Hi everyone. This is my first post here.
I really need some advice. I'm 5'4", weigh about 120-122 pounds (depending on the hour of the day) which seems like a great weight, and I have gotten down to there from 138 a year ago. I'm proud of myself for changing my lifestyle, but I'm so frustrated because when I look in the mirror I still look so BIG.
I am slim around my waist, but my hips are extremely wide and I still have love handles. My breasts are massive for my size and have always caused me to have low self-esteem (34-DD), and my thighs and butt are very thick and curvy as well. When I look at other girls who weigh 120 pounds, they are so tiny!! They wear shorts and tank tops without any problems or embarrassment. So guys, can somebody give me some advice? Why is it that I am down to this normal weight, yet I still seem so very big?
I'm very frustrated and I don't want to have to keep pushing myself to weigh 110 pounds in order to feel good about myself, so any words of comfort will be of great help. thanks!
 
Hey there sound slike losing weight is quite stressful for you. Relieving the stress from yourself can be quite difficult and I understand how you feel.

Many will fail to lose weight due to the stress factor, and you don't want to be one of them.

I normally urge people to prepare to fail, so the way you are feeling now is that you are not preapred to fail but feel that you will.

Putting some major preapration steps in for what lies ahead really can make all the difference to your succcess.

If you have any questions feel free to ask. Also you can check out my homepage where I provide a free help guide on preparing yourself for more succesful weight loss.

I would put the link in my signature but not quite sure if it's allowed yet or not.

You can and will lose all the weight you ever wanted to, just remember it's not easy, but it's also not difficult
 
Last edited:
One thing I have learned is that we often have very warped self views. I have lost 80 lbs and yet I often still see myself as fat ... I have a hard time seeing myself as the size 10/12 that I am.

Do you exercise at all? It might help you to reshape your body with some solid exercise and weight lifting, rather than focusing on the pounds.
 
KaraCooks said:
Do you exercise at all? It might help you to reshape your body with some solid exercise and weight lifting, rather than focusing on the pounds.
Click to expand...

Kara is at least a partial mind-reader. I would suggest periodic bodyfat checks or tape measurement sessions as these will help you get a grip on your body composition. If you truly are that "big" at your weight it pretty much has to be a lack of lean muscle mass leading to too much of your weight being from fat tissue.
 
MGR said:
Kara is at least a partial mind-reader. I would suggest periodic bodyfat checks or tape measurement sessions as these will help you get a grip on your body composition. If you truly are that "big" at your weight it pretty much has to be a lack of lean muscle mass leading to too much of your weight being from fat tissue.
Click to expand...

Depending on the person.. doing this can be a cause for failure.

The focus shouldn't be on what you are already but what you want to be, and measuring yourself isn't going to get you anywhere, only action is. With seeing small losses or nothing at all quite often, can become quite disheartening for most.

It's important when you advise people to measure themselves that you also add some form of reassurance to help them understand the difficuties caused when being measured.
 
I agree with Kara about the possible benefits of exercise to you. You have done well to lose weight - but sometimes further weight loss is not the answer.

I suggest that you discuss your current weight and BMI with your doctor before trying to lose any more weight. Also that you mention your unhappiness with your current shape. If you have a small frame - a little further weight loss may be ok - but if you have a large frame it may be unhealthy.

It could be that you would look just fine in those shorts that you long to wear - it is just that you see yourself as being chubbier than you are nowadays. If you have a close friend / sister that you trust - it may be worth trying on clothes with her and seeing their reaction when you try on such garments.

At the end of the day - we were not all built the same way - and will never all be the same identical shape as each other. Some of us have large frames - others of us have small frames. We could never look the same shape - even if we weighed the same weight to a tenth of a gram and exercised to an optimum level.

The chances are that some of those girls that you envy are in turn envious about the size of your breasts. Few people are exactly the shape that they would ideally like to be. Many flat chested women would love to have a bit of womanly shape to their figure.

There will be others with larger breasts than you - that dearly wish that they were as small as a 34DD. As it happens I am one of them. I have lost a lot of weight and have a major loose skin problem. This means that I currently wear a size 30HH bra. For me - surgery is the only answer. Frankly - surgery may be the only way that you could ever be flat chested - if that is really what you want (although I have to say that 34DD sounds pretty much ideal to me as I certainly do not want to be flat chested and know that my husband appreciates a womanly shape). Most people would prefer not to go through life with scars there though - not to mention having to undergo pain.
 
Thank you all so much for your heart-felt replies and advice!! I have read and thought about all of your replies.
I suppose I should do a bit more weight-lifting. Most of my weightloss has come from eating smaller portions and of healthier food, and I do exercise lightly about 3-4 days per week (mostly doing a few sets of crunches, walking lunges and squats) but it's very difficult for me to get into the habit of doing any aerobic exercises besides taking a walk now and then.
I know there are girls who would love to have my boobs. I have many friends who mention them often to me, and how much they love them and blah blah blah. I wish so much that I could just GIVE them to them lol. I really hate having such a large chest. They make me look larger overall, and someday I plan on getting a reduction because when I see small-chested women, I feel so envious. They do not look masculine to me at all! They look elegant and lady-like and humble. I constantly have to cover myself up or people accuse me of looking like a slut. It's really just quite horrific. I think I'm harboring a lot of self-image hatred from my teenage years. I grew breasts when I was only 12 and have always received too much attention from boys. In 7th grade boys were always snapping my bra and trying to grab my chest and stuff. Events like that seem to have scarred me. Also the fact that doing aerobics are difficult when I can never seem to find a bra that is supportive enough.
I suppose overall I need to work on my confidence and try to move on from the past.
Also, I congratulate all of you who have worked hard to lose weight also!!! it takes so much willpower and inner strength to do what you've all done, and I admire you for it! Good luck and follow your dreams =)
 
Try getting a bra from a speciality bra shop where they fit you. I get mine from Bravissimo and they are the world better than bras that I have had from more normal shops. A professional fitter seems to measure you differently than they do in normal clothes shops that sell bras and fit you too - possibly because they know that they stock a wider range in sizes to choose from.
 
amorata said:
Thank you all so much for your heart-felt replies and advice!! I have read and thought about all of your replies.
I suppose I should do a bit more weight-lifting. Most of my weightloss has come from eating smaller portions and of healthier food, and I do exercise lightly about 3-4 days per week (mostly doing a few sets of crunches, walking lunges and squats) but it's very difficult for me to get into the habit of doing any aerobic exercises besides taking a walk now and then.
I know there are girls who would love to have my boobs. I have many friends who mention them often to me, and how much they love them and blah blah blah. I wish so much that I could just GIVE them to them lol. I really hate having such a large chest. They make me look larger overall, and someday I plan on getting a reduction because when I see small-chested women, I feel so envious. They do not look masculine to me at all! They look elegant and lady-like and humble. I constantly have to cover myself up or people accuse me of looking like a slut. It's really just quite horrific. I think I'm harboring a lot of self-image hatred from my teenage years. I grew breasts when I was only 12 and have always received too much attention from boys. In 7th grade boys were always snapping my bra and trying to grab my chest and stuff. Events like that seem to have scarred me. Also the fact that doing aerobics are difficult when I can never seem to find a bra that is supportive enough.
I suppose overall I need to work on my confidence and try to move on from the past.
Also, I congratulate all of you who have worked hard to lose weight also!!! it takes so much willpower and inner strength to do what you've all done, and I admire you for it! Good luck and follow your dreams =)
Click to expand...


I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from regarding your breasts. I had a breast reduction 10 years ago...best thing I ever did!! And, like you, my breasts weren't horribly large when compared to the whole women's population; however, for my size and weight, they were huge! At the time, at 5'2" and 135 pounds...my breasts were 34 DD. (Now I actually weigh 119 after a 35+ weight loss...and my breasts are tinier than ever!, LOL!).
I had been teased and ridiculed in high school. When people met me, that's what they looked at instead of my face. Even after nursing 3 children and losing weight, they stayed big!! One was also bigger than the other one, making me feel a little lopsided! After the surgery, my body just looked better, more in proportion if you will.
So, I think that is what you are saying...your breasts are too big for your small frame and height, right? On a taller, bigger framed woman they would be perfect. Please correct me if I have misunderstood how you are feeling....let me just say that the surgery worked wonders on how I felt both physically and mentally about my body image. It was well worth the pain and recovery period...and I had a wonderful plastic surgeon...the scars are hardly noticable!
 
dilynnlew said:
the surgery worked wonders on how I felt both physically and mentally about my body image. It was well worth the pain and recovery period...and I had a wonderful plastic surgeon...the scars are hardly noticable!
Click to expand...

This is encouraging - since as I said earlier - while others have a degree of choice - for me - surgery is the only answer to a difficult situation...
 
AJFarland said:
If you have any questions feel free to ask. Also you can check out my homepage where I provide a free help guide on preparing yourself for more succesful weight loss.

I would put the link in my signature but not quite sure if it's allowed yet or not.
Click to expand...
No, links are not allowed. This is called spamming and will lead to getting banned from the forum.
 
I understand how you feel, although apparently the weight that you are at is a great weight, you still feel "fat" or not good enough. I have had similar feelings. Its hard to look in the mirror and see what everyone else says that they see. People look at me and say I am at a fine weight and I look perfectly normal. However, I do agree with what someone said earlier that our body images of ourselves tend to be warped. I think its rare for someone who has weight-loss, body, and eating issues to look in the mirror and love or even like what they see. I think that you need to be mentally comfortable your body, before you can be physically comfortable with your body. I am 5'9 and a 32DD and I also feel self-conscious about my breasts and their proportion to my size. Although I am pretty tall, I still feel top-heavy and often appear very large (to my eyes) in pictures because of how full my top is.

I think appreciating your body is hard and perhaps some toning exercising and weight lifting will help to tone up the areas that you are still unhappy with. I'm trying to work on a cardio/strength training regimen myself in order to shed the extra pounds and flab that bother me. Hope this helped!
 
I am curious to know what your body fat % is, also, you could check your lean body mass, just type "lean body mass calculator" into any search engine, you will need your BF% before you do that though.
 
fatguy23 said:
I am curious to know what your body fat % is, also, you could check your lean body mass, just type "lean body mass calculator" into any search engine, you will need your BF% before you do that though.
Click to expand...

I really agree in that body fat % can be a better indicator than weight in this instance. Numbers on the scale can be very deceiving. What if you're just fixated on those numbers but are really 120lbs of lean mean muscle fightin' machine?
 
right, or maybe she weighs 120, but is 30% body fat, and just has a really small frame, the big breasts might skew the body fat % a bit, but I think normal for a gal is somewhere around 20%??(fact check) so I would presume that a bit higher than 20% would be what is considered "normal" for a woman whom is well endowed. anyways, if it's much higher than 20% you should probably re-evaluate your workout schedule, maybe eat above maintenance for a few months and build some muscle through resistance training, and then go back to a defecit and keep up the resistance training to save the muscle you added...? I'm sure steve or kara would have better input but that's my thought.
 
Body Fat Percentages (from WebMD). You can find charts all over the web and there are points or two between categories, but they're all close to this:

Women:
Essential - 10-12%
Athletic 1 - 14-20%
Fit - 21-24%
Overfat - 25-31%
Obese - 32% plus

Men:
Essential - 2-4%
Athletic 1 - 6-13%
Fit - 14-17%
Overfat - 18-25%
Obese - 25% plus
 
How can I find out my body fat %? I think I do have a small frame.. my hands and wrists are very small and thin, and my calves and ankles and feet are very tiny. It's just my hips and chest that are carrying all of mye xtra weight I think. Also sometimes I think my arms are a bit too thick.
 
Hello :)

Answer to your question:​
18%
Junior Member

Give Rep for this post

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: NYC
Posts: 150
Rep Power: 5

Links to body fat percentage charts:
Understanding Your Body Fat Percentage

Recommended Body Weights and Percent Body Fat Contents for Women
(all the way at the bottom)

****Remember BF is NOT BMI! Some people are getting them confused. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ONLINE BODY FAT CALCULATOR. Here's the order of how to calculate body fat from most accurate to least:
1) Disection (of course that's not an option)
2) Hydrostatic Weighing (expensive, difficult to find)
3) Calipers, Skinfold Measurements (need experience, cannot test yourself)
4) Bioeletrical Impedance Analysis, BIA Scale like what I use (recent activity affects results but easy to control reliability)
5) Girth Measurements (not very accurate)

For more info:

(scroll down)

Hope that helps. :)​
 
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ONLINE BODY FAT CALCULATOR.
Click to expand...

I'm curious to know who said there was such a thing??

I said to find out your body fat percentage, and then do a lean body mass calculation, which there most certainly are plenty of on the internet.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top