I was hoping I could get some advice from men about my son. Some history. (sorry this is so long). He's 17 . He's very small for his age. He's not quite 5'2 106 pounds (if that) and passes for 13. He's very petite built and he hates it. I'm sure he inherited it from me. When I ( his mother) was 23 I was 5'2 95 pounds and passed for 13. I got stopped by a truant officer almost everyday.
To complicate it more, his dad is Chinese and barely 5'5 (only he 's 40 pounds overweight due to quitting smoking).
Here's the weird thing. My daughter, now 22 was 5'7 by the time she was 17. Pretty and on the slim side (about 135) yet looks like she could play on a girls basket ball team. Develops muscles easily. Has leg muscles etc.
When they both had braces put on when he was 10 and my daughter was 15, the orthodontist x-rayed their wrists to see how tall they would get as adults( I hadn't known they could do that.) Supposedly when the bones in the wrist plate fuse, they wont get any taller. So, when that was done I was told she would reach 5'5 max, and my son would reach 5'6, possibly 5'7. So, I was happy about that, as it might not be tall for some men, but coming from a family where your mom was 5'2. Your dad 5'7. One brother who was 6'2 and two other brothers who are barely 5'3. And all your sisters are barely 5'2. And my hubby only 5'5 ( if that). I was happy at the thought my son would even reach 5'6. Just tall enough not to be called "shrimp" , "shorty" and "pee wee" like my other two brothers were . My poor tall skinny brother was called "bean pole" ,so I guess tall people get it too. But my daughter surpassed the orthodontist estimates and my son is way below the estimate. They did another x-ray this year as my son kind of expressed concern. They said his wrist plate was almost totally fused now and the tallest he would get was 5'3 and if he was lucky 5'4. And they said they were predicting 5'2. I almost cried when I told him. I had to fight back tears and put on a cheerful face.
Size doesn't matter to me, but I know how much it does to guys, especially to teens. His little female cousin who is 13, towers over him at 5'5. Her dad is 6'2 and her mom ( my sis) is 5'2. And her brothers, even the 16 year old is 5'11 and her oldest brothers in their early 20's are 6'2 . So, I know he was counting on the dentist's original prediction of being at least 5'6-5'7 coming true. And I know it's going to be tough for him. He still gets asked his age at restaurants in
case he qualifies for the 12 and under kiddy prices.
Never mind he does have a bit of a moustache.
And he can't get a job with sales like at Best Buy or Walmarts. He's tried many times. Even though he's very intelligent with computers etc. He just looks like a slender 13 year old and I think that's why he isn't hired.
He even has long curly eyelashes which my daughter ( who has short stubby ones) envies.( And he hates). I find myself looking at her and him when they don't know I'm looking and wondering, "Why her"? Why did she have the height and bulk when girls can easily get away with being short and petite?
I know it's wrong to do it ,as you get what God gave you, but I just feel bad for him.Sometimes I see him mentally comparing his height when he's standing next to me or his sister or even his dad. I'm slightly taller then he is by 1/4 " or so.
I never thought much about it when I was pregnant with him. That I might have short sons due to my and my husbands heights. I was just so glad I was going to have him, as I was told not to get my hopes up as I probably would lose him like the other two babies I'd lost.
He's interested in working out and he does have those elastic, over the door pulleys he uses in his tiny bedroom.
Could I get some advice about what a man here would do if it was his son?
My hubby just says, "Live with it".
I try to use my other sisters son as an example. He's 30 under 5'4 and he's a Sargent in the Army ( 10 years now) And he's well respected ( although he gets the short jokes sometimes too) . He does sky diving and he's been sent on dangerous missions in Kosovo and Iraq.
Another thing though is my son talks of getting training for dangerous jobs like Black Water , ( that firm that had alot of guys massacred in Iraq when sent there on a security job) and I wonder if he talks like that due to feeling he has to make up for being so small.
He Homeschools through a correspondence school so he doesn't take any gym classes or anything. I think he would be very embarrassed to be in a gym with other guys his age and looking like their little kid brother. I think he would prefer to work out at home , for now. And although he likes being outdoors, he was never interested in sports like basketball, baseball etc.But he shows interest in weight lifting, or exercise machines like Bowflex and Total trainer etc when he watches the infomercials.
So, I was wondering what he could do to feel more like his age? What type of exercises could he do to add some kind of bulk to his small frame? I told him after my foot surgery( we don't have insurance) and will be paying the $ 6.200 from our lives savings for it. But I told him after that we could take him to a Pediatric growth specialist, just to make sure it's hereditary and not health related. He's kind of half wanting to and half I think, not wanting to know.
I personally think he just inherited my small frame and also due to being part Asian, when may of them are small and petite. But his dad wasn't petite even before he gained weight he was 130 at 5'5.( Now 180) Yet many of my sons cousins, who are all Asian are larger built then he is and have never kind of made fun of him about it. "
He's very careful with his diet. He eats protein, but not too many starches and almost no sweets at all.
Any advice on how to make him feel more manly and nota pip squeak would be appreciated. I was wondering if we should offer to buy him the total trainer or something to make him feel better about himself.
Please note that I rarely mention his size and how young he looks to him. I feel God made you what you are and what can you do about it? Be sorry you were born.? He did in fact say that to me once ( why was he even born? )which made me feel depressed. Especially since I was originally told I couldn't have anymore children after my daughter and he was a surprise (a happy one). I can see it bothers him being short and so petite though and he does bring up the subject sometimes about it.
Mostly I think he just suffers it in silence.
I'm very sorry this is so long but I was hoping for an outside opinion from some men. What they would do if it was their son.
Thanks.
cd
To complicate it more, his dad is Chinese and barely 5'5 (only he 's 40 pounds overweight due to quitting smoking).
Here's the weird thing. My daughter, now 22 was 5'7 by the time she was 17. Pretty and on the slim side (about 135) yet looks like she could play on a girls basket ball team. Develops muscles easily. Has leg muscles etc.
When they both had braces put on when he was 10 and my daughter was 15, the orthodontist x-rayed their wrists to see how tall they would get as adults( I hadn't known they could do that.) Supposedly when the bones in the wrist plate fuse, they wont get any taller. So, when that was done I was told she would reach 5'5 max, and my son would reach 5'6, possibly 5'7. So, I was happy about that, as it might not be tall for some men, but coming from a family where your mom was 5'2. Your dad 5'7. One brother who was 6'2 and two other brothers who are barely 5'3. And all your sisters are barely 5'2. And my hubby only 5'5 ( if that). I was happy at the thought my son would even reach 5'6. Just tall enough not to be called "shrimp" , "shorty" and "pee wee" like my other two brothers were . My poor tall skinny brother was called "bean pole" ,so I guess tall people get it too. But my daughter surpassed the orthodontist estimates and my son is way below the estimate. They did another x-ray this year as my son kind of expressed concern. They said his wrist plate was almost totally fused now and the tallest he would get was 5'3 and if he was lucky 5'4. And they said they were predicting 5'2. I almost cried when I told him. I had to fight back tears and put on a cheerful face.
Size doesn't matter to me, but I know how much it does to guys, especially to teens. His little female cousin who is 13, towers over him at 5'5. Her dad is 6'2 and her mom ( my sis) is 5'2. And her brothers, even the 16 year old is 5'11 and her oldest brothers in their early 20's are 6'2 . So, I know he was counting on the dentist's original prediction of being at least 5'6-5'7 coming true. And I know it's going to be tough for him. He still gets asked his age at restaurants in
case he qualifies for the 12 and under kiddy prices.
Never mind he does have a bit of a moustache.
And he can't get a job with sales like at Best Buy or Walmarts. He's tried many times. Even though he's very intelligent with computers etc. He just looks like a slender 13 year old and I think that's why he isn't hired.
He even has long curly eyelashes which my daughter ( who has short stubby ones) envies.( And he hates). I find myself looking at her and him when they don't know I'm looking and wondering, "Why her"? Why did she have the height and bulk when girls can easily get away with being short and petite?
I know it's wrong to do it ,as you get what God gave you, but I just feel bad for him.Sometimes I see him mentally comparing his height when he's standing next to me or his sister or even his dad. I'm slightly taller then he is by 1/4 " or so.
I never thought much about it when I was pregnant with him. That I might have short sons due to my and my husbands heights. I was just so glad I was going to have him, as I was told not to get my hopes up as I probably would lose him like the other two babies I'd lost.
He's interested in working out and he does have those elastic, over the door pulleys he uses in his tiny bedroom.
Could I get some advice about what a man here would do if it was his son?
My hubby just says, "Live with it".
I try to use my other sisters son as an example. He's 30 under 5'4 and he's a Sargent in the Army ( 10 years now) And he's well respected ( although he gets the short jokes sometimes too) . He does sky diving and he's been sent on dangerous missions in Kosovo and Iraq.
Another thing though is my son talks of getting training for dangerous jobs like Black Water , ( that firm that had alot of guys massacred in Iraq when sent there on a security job) and I wonder if he talks like that due to feeling he has to make up for being so small.
He Homeschools through a correspondence school so he doesn't take any gym classes or anything. I think he would be very embarrassed to be in a gym with other guys his age and looking like their little kid brother. I think he would prefer to work out at home , for now. And although he likes being outdoors, he was never interested in sports like basketball, baseball etc.But he shows interest in weight lifting, or exercise machines like Bowflex and Total trainer etc when he watches the infomercials.
So, I was wondering what he could do to feel more like his age? What type of exercises could he do to add some kind of bulk to his small frame? I told him after my foot surgery( we don't have insurance) and will be paying the $ 6.200 from our lives savings for it. But I told him after that we could take him to a Pediatric growth specialist, just to make sure it's hereditary and not health related. He's kind of half wanting to and half I think, not wanting to know.
I personally think he just inherited my small frame and also due to being part Asian, when may of them are small and petite. But his dad wasn't petite even before he gained weight he was 130 at 5'5.( Now 180) Yet many of my sons cousins, who are all Asian are larger built then he is and have never kind of made fun of him about it. "
He's very careful with his diet. He eats protein, but not too many starches and almost no sweets at all.
Any advice on how to make him feel more manly and nota pip squeak would be appreciated. I was wondering if we should offer to buy him the total trainer or something to make him feel better about himself.
Please note that I rarely mention his size and how young he looks to him. I feel God made you what you are and what can you do about it? Be sorry you were born.? He did in fact say that to me once ( why was he even born? )which made me feel depressed. Especially since I was originally told I couldn't have anymore children after my daughter and he was a surprise (a happy one). I can see it bothers him being short and so petite though and he does bring up the subject sometimes about it.
Mostly I think he just suffers it in silence.
I'm very sorry this is so long but I was hoping for an outside opinion from some men. What they would do if it was their son.
Thanks.
cd
