Finding Myself in Me

Such a sissy-bag

ok.. it has only been 1 day and I'm not happy about not being able to work out.

This has me fairly ticked :confused4:

Plus I am already tired of listening to the spawn of Satan (offspring) constantly griping about every stoopid thing under the sun. :argue:

Standing up and sitting down isn't too bad. Trying to lay down or get up from a prone position tho is killer because it's all abs... That's when i cry (insert sissy bag here).

Yes, i know i need time to recover.
Yes, i know i don't want to injure myself more
Yes, i am tired of "just existing" already... BUT DANG!

Recovery sux :(
 
How weird

Well....

My drain tube apparently was not secured very well.

I was cleaning it out yesterday when I noticed the suction had stopped. That's because the tube came completely out in my hand. Lovely!!

The sutures used to attach it had come undone from the tube; not from me.

My nurse came by today to remove my sutures and sissied out so....

I removed my own stitches today. :action:

The staples however are gonna be left to the doc ;)
 
Slacker 101

HA!!

Class... may I have your attention please! Kidding!!! ;)

However.. Dude!! do i ever feel like one though... really!!!
A "slacker" that is...

i understand and realize my body needs to heal and that taking it easy is necessary in order for a full recovery to take place.

i know that i will not be able to go back to a gym and pick up where i left off.

i feel like i'm sliding backwards (again!) in my diet/exercise. Ok.. ok.. exercise - yes; diet... eh.. not so much.


Since i have been out of commission, i have been reading many articles & posts on here about the nutrition aspect and have come up with a list of questions - it's short, but still a list :)

1. Someone asked about BMR. How does a bariatric patient* calculate a "true" BMR and is it relevant because it's based on the assumption that the numbers apply to a "normal" individual with a normal sized stomach.

2. BFI - where's a good place to go to get this done? And... will all my excess, droopy skin be factored in? (if so... i call foul!.. LOL )

3. Why do so many people believe that 'just' diet or 'just' exercise will give them the magic formula for their own personal skinny down? Especially with all the expertise on here pointing to a combo of BOTH??? I don't get it.... oh well...

4. I want to start lifting again, but have no idea what i can do that will not aggravate my core abs. Suggestions???

(*) this is me.

Oh yeah.. shhhhh... I secretly did a miniscule amount of the last Friday Challenge. An entire 4 min/30 sec of reverse planks before I had to stop... but hey.. i did it :)

I believe I have rambled on enough..

Time to shut the yap, but thanx for stopping by & reading/answering/participating & having fun. :)
 
stuff

Thursday I have follow up with my surgeon to get the staples out. I am looking forward to this because i'm about to go nuts... they itch like crazy!!

I am also gonna find out just exactly what I will and will not be allowed to do - physically.

I'm hoping to at least be able to ride a bike because I really miss being mobile :( but we'll see.

On the other hand...

I was given a gift once.. a mala bead bracelet. The beads were strung on elastic so it was stretchy to fit over my hand.

I wore it so much the elastic string was starting to break and since i didn't want to lose any of the beads, I quit wearing it.

So anyway, I purchased leather cord and restrung the beads so i can wear them again :)
Funny thing is, it turned out so good, the oldest child is begging me to make her a bracelet too...lol

Speaking of oldest child....

I got this text the other night... "Mommy (yeah.. she still calls me that)...I'm tired of being a blimp. Can you ask your coach/trainer to help me with getting my weight off? Can you help too?"

How cool is that!?

Then again I do need to remember the child (who's 18) has "Cybil-like" qualities and even though one day i'll be the coolest mom ever.. the next day I'm satan's mother.. LOL

oh geeze... i'm a babbling idiot..
 
neonlady said:
oh geeze... i'm a babbling idiot..
Click to expand...

A wise woman writes down what she thinks, a stupid woman forgets what she thinks, a complete idiot punishes herself for what she thinks.

Adapt. Overcome.

You are wise, you go right on babbling.......

Babbling FTW!

YEA!

Chillen
 
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Chillen said:
A wise woman writes down what she thinks, a stupid woman forgets what she thinks, a complete idiot punishes herself for what she thinks.

Adapt. Overcome.

You are wise, you go right on babbling.......

Babbling FTW!

YEA!

Chillen
Click to expand...

Thats a nice quote.

My quote of the week is from Lance Armstrong.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever”.

It just makes so much sense.
 
Sometimes I wish i was a guy...

Let me preface this entry with two things.
#1. I am generalizing.. not categorizing... ok? So please... not alot of flack....
#2. I've had a bad day... body issue wise..


Guys (it seems) don't ever have body issues. From day 1, they are comfortable in their skin. Why is that?

Today was a day where I wish I could have been born with a set of kahunas instead of tatas..

I cried about my body.

Having gone from 300 to 150; back up to 190 and now back down to 157.5 (officially now)... my skin has been thru the gauntlet.

It never "shrank" down with me the first time i lost weight. All of it stuck around and now just hangs there and reminds me of how big i used to be.

I have flabby, bat-wing arms.
I have flabby thighs.
I have a flabby a$$.
I have a ginormous amount of flab between what's left of my boobs and the cho-cha area...
Plus I have more rolls than Pillsbury.

It looks like melted candle wax. It looks like the rolls of a sharpei dog. It looks disgusting :(

And now.. on top of everything else... pre-surgery at least all the flab was symmetrical.
Since surgery... i can add lop-sided to the ab area.. great :(

So... it's days like this one i question why i even bother going to the gym.
I question why i keep trying..

The progress i've made is unseen. It's hiding behind the ugly.

I feel it.. I know it's there. I have a nice set of abs... (which prolly used to be a 6-pak, but since they've been shaved are down to a 5.5 set)

I have some nice shoulders. I have nice tris and bis and I even have nice quads and calves...

but noone can freakin see the progress i've made... or at least I feel this way..

so.. today i want to be just a guy... who doesn't mind his potbelly and who's accepted for who he is and not his looks...

because the girl...is tired of the tears and feeling like she looks like a freak.

there..

transparency at its truest form and basest level.
 
Well for as much as it helps or doesn't. I think you are pretty damn amazing and strong.

Figure you have heard it before and probably will again but I'll throw it out there too.

Oh and good luck with beating the jump rope that thing has kicked my ass since I was little.

:action8: stop mocking me smilie jump rope man :bncry:
 
KNOCK THIS CRAP OFF RIGHT NOW NEON!!!!

please review your before photo at the lead of this thread.

Guys dont have body issues? REALLY! you are a guy? you have interviewed ALL GUYS?

it is good that you vent, but recognize, and stick your chin up and move on!

maybe you just need to :action14:

and besides, you wouldn't make a good guy- you bat your eyes too much ;)

adn you have more Kahunas than most "men" I know.
 
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Don't waste your time beating yourself up. You made so much progress (I read most of your thread). Be proud of yourself and what you've achieved.
 
hey neonlady

I too have read most of your journal. I am gonna go out on a limb here and tell you that I think it is okay to feel crushed some days. It takes moments of disappointment to really appreciate the moments where we stand back and say to ourselves, WOW I KICKED ASS WITH THE CHANGES I HAVE MADE (and you have had to have those moments). Looking through your pictures you and I and we ALL know and have visible proof of the changes you have made. Those days when you feel unmotivated to work out..............well imagine your mindset about the gym BEFORE you started this venture................that is always ugly enough for me to get off my fat ass and sweat.

As for the guys, who knows, I do believe they have body issues of their own. Especially the ones on here who are focused on feeling and looking their best. But I will say this, I think society in general is way more forgiving of a mans body flaws than a womans. Think about all the couples where the woman is a hottie and the guy, well, has some flaws. You RARELY see it the opposite way.

So this is YOUR thread, on the days when you want to cry, cry here and we will listen and hopefully motivate you, or slap you silly back to a better reality : )
 
Sincere Thanks

Thanks all...

OMG... there are days i let everything about my body issues and related ish get to me. Obviously, yesterday was one of those days.

Today is a new day... yesterday is over and all that crap... well.. it's still in the back of my mind, but tucked away and back in hiding.. at least for now ;)

So.. to all of you who challenged me to look at my accomplishments instead of focusing on the side effects.... THANK YOU. :)

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass.. it's about learning how to dance in the rain :)
 
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