In it for life

Bri2nne

New member
Hi everyone!

I've been at a healthier path with my boyfriend for close to 5 months now and jotting some thoughts down in a private blog. It is really motivating to read other people's stories and questions, which brought me to this forum. So I figured getting some feedback would help to keep me in track as well. I'm investing a lot of energy into this new lifestyle, thinking about it constantly - maybe writing about it in a public forum on a semi-regular basis would help clear my head :)

I'm a happy eater. Eating makes me happy and happiness makes me eat. I've been blessed with a lot of happiness in my life which translated into a lot of kg. I've gained weight every time I've fallen into a comfortable lifestyle and moving in with my boyfriend 2 years ago brought my weight to new heights - about 95 kg to my 170 cm. I've always been curvy and thankfully never bothered enough to wreck my system with crash dieting, but I have never been sporty either so as I got into comfortable routine (read: not being in the "dating market" anymore), I ate large portions and devoured desserts.

As I finally realised that I no longer have a waist and can't see past my tummy, I felt down and tried to make our meals healthier. Counting calories, trying to consume everything whole-grain and low fat, keeping well away from soft drinks, crying over eating a few pieces of chocolate - it did NOTHING. I do admit that I only counted calories for about a month but eating healthy lasted way longer. For whatever reason, no results lead to decreased motivation.

While my BMI had reached obese category last year (ouch!), I am far healthier than my bf. He's the greatest person I know - supportive, sweet - but also the laziest. When I first met him, I didn't know where to look - he was the roundest man I'd ever been in contact with. After a few years of knowing each other, I was able to look past it and fall in love for all the right reasons. Soppy, I know - but it has been a fairy tale of sorts, I am quite judgmental as a rule :D He is in good health despite his weight, has no medical reason for the roundness (at least none have been found) and eats like a regular man, so it's a mystery. I'm pretty sure I ate more than him during my latest weight gain. But he is really lazy so there's very little chance to get him to work out just for the sake of working out but he's not afraid of manual labor, so with a bit of cunning from my side, there is hope ;)

As calory counting didn't work for me and hunger turns me into a monster, we decided on a low-carb lifestyle starting from January 2016. It has worked out real well - minimal sugar keeps cravings at bay and once we got used to not having the usual set-up on the plate, we discovered we can eat good food and not be hungry. We're eating large breakfasts - mainly eggs and bacon or flour-free seed-bread sandwiches and smallish pieces of meat/fish with salad for lunch and dinner. Lots of cabbage and cauliflower, occasional berries to satisfy the sweet tooth, being allowed to eat mayo is a treat and sometimes there are interesting finds in the grocery store like low-carb peanut butter. The main thing is the drastically reduced sugar intake. He used to take 4 teaspoons with his morning coffee and is now using stevia. I went from 1 teaspoon to none. He gave up all soft drinks - previously unheard of! We make most of our meals at home so there's little chance of hidden sugar. This allows us to have the occasional glass of fresh orange juice or a sweet pear.

I've lost 10 kg in 5 months (at 83 kg at the moment). We don't know his starting weight but based on the measurements, I'd say he started at around 170 kg/180cm and is now at 158. My weight-loss has slowed considerably month to month so I've started exercising a few weeks ago to see if it helps. More detailed posts on that later, otherwise this post is going to be tl;dr. :)

The goal for this year is to get me to around 70kg. I've got an active summer coming up and in October a week of very active travel I absolutely have to be in better shape for. For him, I'd say simply continuing on this path for now as we're not sure of the rate of his weight-loss at the moment - for his BMI to be under 40, he'll have to lose another 30kg.

We're in it for life, there's obviously no other way. One day we're hopefully going to be responsible for a brand new person and teaching him/her our lazy food-centered lifestyle would be horrible. Universe, please help us to see happiness does not equal food and there is pleasure in leaving the couch to sweat a bit!

Talk to you soon!
 
Welcome to the forum Bri2nne!

The diaries are really helpful for getting your thoughts straight (which, of course, you were already doing on your blog), detecting patterns and getting moral support. Congratulations on getting your partner on board with these changes, that must make things a lot easier. What kind of exercise have you started? Can I ask how old you two are?

Wishing you all the best on your journey!
 
Thank you for the good wishes, LaMaria!

We are in our early 30s and yes, it's much easier to be in this together. As to exercise, I'm trying to get at least 30 minutes of moderate activity in most days and keeping it varied - HIIT and strength exercise videos, elliptical, biking, brisk walking and I love me some yoga. Mostly concentrating on general aerobic endurance and muscles that don't get much exercise during a regular day - my shoulders are a weak point for example. He joins me in biking and is more active during the day than my office-worker-behind.

I've been really passionate about scuba diving this past year which was a major driving point in starting the diet. This summer we're going to be spending a lot more time outdoors (and me underwater). It doesn't seem like a very active sport but there's tanks to carry and water-resistance burns calories nicely. Can't wait! :)
 
Hello Bri2nne!

Sounds like you're super committed to this change and it really is fantastic that you're doing it together. Your mindset has clearly changed and once that happens, as you say, there is no going back!

I love scuba too!!! It's a different world, right? :D

All the best of luck and looking forward to following your journey :)
 
Hi Bri2nne & welcome to the forum. I loved your intro. It's great your bf has come on board too. I also have a very supportive lovely partner who I have been with forever. I try not to sound too soppy about him, but he's lovely. We women, can be very cunning & I'm sure you will come up with ways of getting him to move more. I love snorkelling. One of my favourite experiences was snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef with a Marine Biologist on my birthday a few years ago. It was wonderful. I look forward to following your journey too :)
 
Welcome to the forum Bri2nne,

It seems that you and your bf are off to a GREAT START...congrats on your weight loss thus far ;-)

You will see that as you continue to make smart choices - food wise - the easier it will be to get you and your man moving, you will become more prone to doing outside activities naturally. Wishing you two the best of luck and success on your weight-loss/ healthier YOU journey!!
 
Sounds like you´re setting yourself up for success :) My ears won´t let me dive but any kind of water sports tends to be healthy and having to keep your body warm helps burn calories, too.
 
Hello Bri2nne!

I love scuba too!!! It's a different world, right? :D

All the best of luck and looking forward to following your journey :)

Thanks, Delsid! It's a weightless world :D But yes, different and peaceful. I love how feeling at home underwater didn't come naturally at first - it showed me how much willpower I can have.
 
Hi Bri2nne & welcome to the forum. I loved your intro. It's great your bf has come on board too. I also have a very supportive lovely partner who I have been with forever. I try not to sound too soppy about him, but he's lovely. We women, can be very cunning & I'm sure you will come up with ways of getting him to move more. I love snorkelling. One of my favourite experiences was snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef with a Marine Biologist on my birthday a few years ago. It was wonderful. I look forward to following your journey too :)

Thanks for the warm welcome. Wow, Great Barrief Reef must have been a dream!
 
Welcome to the forum Bri2nne,

It seems that you and your bf are off to a GREAT START...congrats on your weight loss thus far ;-)

You will see that as you continue to make smart choices - food wise - the easier it will be to get you and your man moving, you will become more prone to doing outside activities naturally. Wishing you two the best of luck and success on your weight-loss/ healthier YOU journey!!

Thanks, CaliGirl!
I am a sucker for praise, maybe that's the deep dark underlying reason for this diary :D
 
We are experiencing some pain today from the slow 10k bike ride yesterday, but general mood is great.

I come home from work, find his shorts lying in the middle of the bathroom floor.
Me (laughing): "That's where we keep shorts?"
Him: "Sorry, they fell off."
Me: ???
Him: "I put them on and they fell off."
Me: "You mean they are too big? Awesome!"
Him (sheepily): "I think it must have been gravity."

Apparently it's not manly to celebrate weight loss :D
 
:D It may not be manly, but he was proud enough to just leave them there, knowing they´d get commented on. Great work!
 
Thanks, Delsid! It's a weightless world :D But yes, different and peaceful. I love how feeling at home underwater didn't come naturally at first - it showed me how much willpower I can have.

After the first time I went scuba diving my instructor said 'I didn't think you'd go for it' coz I was panicking so much before getting submerged. But once under water I forgot all about that fear.

Apparently it's not manly to celebrate weight loss :D

Hahah, not too overtly anyway :D
 
Monday is the universal no-energy day but I managed to include Tuesday as well. That's what usually happens with me and exercise - I do too much for a few weeks and then return to the couch for months.

Today's action plan is to repeat "But diving..." in my head while driving home and imagine myself in a stronger and more capable body. 30 minutes of elliptical or strength training is nothing and it's enjoyable once I start. Next week's exercise plan already includes the first dive of the season at a local quarry :)

The better half (never calling him that to his face tho..) has earned a nice rest tonight. He cleaned our home thoroughly for the most part of the day and it's pretty hot in our apartment. That definitely counts as exercise and I'm so lucky I don't have housework to deal with.

How do you get yourself exercising after a busy day at work? I imagine most people have loads more chores than me to do after work as well.
 
After the first time I went scuba diving my instructor said 'I didn't think you'd go for it' coz I was panicking so much before getting submerged. But once under water I forgot all about that fear.

I had a similar experience. Kept showing the out-of-air sign and frantically adding air to BCD 3 or 4 times as he tried to get me submerged. But that was a Discover Scuba Diving class and we had no practice in the pool first - straight to the somewhat-choppy sea. It's a wonder I wasn't scarred for life.
 
Self-motivation corner: Why we're going to succeed

- We have lived for nearly 5 months without potatoes, rice, bread, sweets and soda. That basically means we can achieve anything. ;)
- We didn't drink much alcohol to begin with but it has become even rarer now. Less empty calories! (Downside is that we don't get invited to parties much nowadays but that might be the result of the general lifestyle change and.. well.. age.)
- We are both quite homey so there's less temptation to grab an unhealthy bite on the street. Routine helps a lot.
- We try not to obsess over the kg number - there's no point in weighing oneself every day, I try to limit us to twice a week max. He even seems quite uninterested in knowing the number.
- We have kept track of body measurements once a month and I've pinned the graphs showing best results to the fridge.
- I'm religious about drinking water and have added a glass in the morning first thing to jump-start my digestion. He doesn't run away screaming from regular water anymore :)
- We don't have unrealistic expectations about weight-loss. We're OK if results don't come fast and I've personally never wanted to be thin - strong and curvy is preferred.
- This isn't a temporary diet. When we reach healthy BMI, there can be no going back to the old ways. I think we are willing to accept that (while cursing the unfairness whenever we see thin people stuff themselves with pizza).
- We have each other.
 
That last point is the most important one by far! However: the other ones are really helpful as well. With your priorities sorted our and having realistic expectations you're setting yourself up for success.
 
Welcome to the forum!

I can totally relate to gaining "relationship weight." When you're single, you have more time to make yourself the #1 focus, so it's easier to take the time and effort to be healthy. Also, there's a lot of motivation to try to get more fit to improve your dating prospects. In a relationship, it's easy for people to stop trying as much, let themselves go a bit. I find it helps if you can adopt some healthy living habits with your partner, so that instead of having to find separate time to prioritize your health, it becomes already part of your day-to-day routine in your relationship.

Congrats on the great changes so far. You have worked hard already!
 
Self-motivation corner: Why we're going to succeed

- We have lived for nearly 5 months without potatoes, rice, bread, sweets and soda. That basically means we can achieve anything. ;)
- We didn't drink much alcohol to begin with but it has become even rarer now. Less empty calories! (Downside is that we don't get invited to parties much nowadays but that might be the result of the general lifestyle change and.. well.. age.)
- We are both quite homey so there's less temptation to grab an unhealthy bite on the street. Routine helps a lot.
- We try not to obsess over the kg number - there's no point in weighing oneself every day, I try to limit us to twice a week max. He even seems quite uninterested in knowing the number.
- We have kept track of body measurements once a month and I've pinned the graphs showing best results to the fridge.
- I'm religious about drinking water and have added a glass in the morning first thing to jump-start my digestion. He doesn't run away screaming from regular water anymore :)
- We don't have unrealistic expectations about weight-loss. We're OK if results don't come fast and I've personally never wanted to be thin - strong and curvy is preferred.
- This isn't a temporary diet. When we reach healthy BMI, there can be no going back to the old ways. I think we are willing to accept that (while cursing the unfairness whenever we see thin people stuff themselves with pizza).
- We have each other.


How totally down to earth! LOVE it! You're gonna do great.

we had no practice in the pool first - straight to the somewhat-choppy sea.

Yeah, same here. I remember holding to the rope for dear life and refusing to go under.
 
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