Step by step, day by day :D

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Right time for a re-cap.

Let's think back.

Saturday was good. Felt super motivated after posting on here and once again preparation proved to be key. I was working all day but took enough healthy food with me to last me the day and when I came back I went for my first 8k run.

Sunday was ok food-wise even though I was stressed about my observation on Monday. It was my rest day but still managed to get out of the house for a walk.

Monday was a bit shakey...I was tired and felt hungry (I swear sleep deprivation and hunger go hand in hand) but resisted all day. Then I wanted to go for an evening run but the pollution was through the roof so decided that staying in would be the healthier option. But then (funny how the mind works), instead of thinking 'ok, I'm not exercising I should not be having evening snacks' I had a whole papaya (and something else but can't remember what) whilst skyping a friend. Just mindlessly stuffing my face. And I think it was connected to the fact that I felt deprived during the day.

Yesterday was good food wise and I went to gym despite howling wind and rain. Ran 8k on the treadmill but it was tough. Running on the treadmill is so shit in comparison to running outside, I can keep going for much longer outside. I stopped 3 or 4 times yesterday which was a bit frustrating but I did the whole distance. Can't wait to be somewhere where I don't have to worry that I'm killing myself by running outside (and breathing...).

Today...well, it started off well and it's not finished yet. And I'm writing here because I don't want it to be an 'all or nothing' day. So I had to go into town coz my phone died. The shopping mall where the Apple store is has an amazing supermarket (and pricey...ouch) and I picked up a few really nice things. But I also tried ALL of the types of bread and cake samples (it's like when those crappy carbs are free I feel less bad about eating them ha ha coz I'm not ACTUALLY buying them...). And that led to a bit of a 'I've blown it' feeling (even though I totally didn't!) and so I picked up 2 chocolate bars. One with peanut butter and one with coconut. Had the peanut butter one on the way to the metro - super fatty but also super tasty and actually this is the first time in almost 2 weeks that I had something unhealthy and I don't want to be beating myself up about it and I DEFINITELY don't want to be thinking 'that's it!' because it's not...At the same time I realise that a 61g super rich chocolate bar is too much (it was a bit sickly actually) and I plan to split the coconut one and have it over 2 or 3 days and really enjoy it rather than feel guilty about it. Plus, 61g of this chocolate is 320 cal and running 8k is just short of 500! Puts things into perspective :D
 
There I was, slagging off the treadmill and it felt amazing this evening! Ha. Little ironies in life :D
 
Delsid said:
But I also tried ALL of the types of bread and cake samples (it's like when those crappy carbs are free I feel less bad about eating them ha ha coz I'm not ACTUALLY buying them...).
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Oh.. when Chef and I went shopping last Saturday we wandered through the bakery sniffing stuff(haha), and there was a lady handing out samples. I was like...Oooooo.. I can get a little bit of something, without having to buy the whole thing. It was carrot cake. *sigh* The only cake I don't like! I was so sad. haha!
 
6k run.
45 sec plank.
90 squats.

YAY!

Being on this forum and reading people's diaries reminds me that these (well, some sort of physical activity anyway) need to become a part of my life, rather than things I start and stop all the time!

It feels soooo good to be moving again!!!What a difference from Feb :D
 
We must never forget that. In Winter I could very easily turn into a hibernating bear, but I know it is not good for my mental well-being. We MUST keep on moving...says Cate, sitting on her comfy recliner having a glass of Rose ;)- I have just done the bar for a few hours though to be fair to myself
 
Winter really is the worst for motivation...But yes we MUST keep on moving :D

So much for rationing the chocolate I got on Wednesday :D Just ate the whole damn thing in one sitting :D

I keep hearing about processed sugar addiction and today it felt very real. ALL I could think about on my (hour long!!) way home was how much I needed to eat something SWEET. Apparently if you stop eating processed sugar even for a month it does wonders to your body. I might try that in April.

Today is day 1 of week 3. I can't believe it's only been two weeks :D
 
Delsid said:
Day 3 is slowly coming to an end I've just realised (or re-realised, really) just HOW impatient I am. I mean I was looking in the mirror and it got to me that I wast thinking something along the lines of: 'come on, I've been eating well and moving more...where are the effects???
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I've got a perfect quote for you - I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is fourteen days. :rotflmao:
 
Delsid said:
Winter really is the worst for motivation...But yes we MUST keep on moving :D

So much for rationing the chocolate I got on Wednesday :D Just ate the whole damn thing in one sitting :D

I keep hearing about processed sugar addiction and today it felt very real. ALL I could think about on my (hour long!!) way home was how much I needed to eat something SWEET. Apparently if you stop eating processed sugar even for a month it does wonders to your body. I might try that in April.

Today is day 1 of week 3. I can't believe it's only been two weeks :D
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I highly recommend watching this whole thing about sugar and HFCS in particular:
 
It's INSANE and so sad that people are being poisoned by the food industry. For what? For money...

I eat hardly any processed food and don't drink soft drinks. I LOVE bread and cake but try to stay away from them as much as possible. I eat a largely whole foods plant based diet and the majority of my sugar intake is from fruit. I totally agree that it's not really about how much you eat but WHAT you eat.

Having said all that, the cravings I have are very real and it must be because my body is used to processed sugar whether I like it or not. Time to do
something about it :D

Tonight has seen an 8k run (was aiming for 10k but didn't quite get there), 45 squats and a 'kill me now' 1min plank. According to the app you're supposed to be able to plank for 5min after a month...I'm not too sure about that ha ha.
 
Well done on the 8km run Delsid. Boo to the chocolate. Don't buy it at all sweetie if it's going to shout at you to eat it all. I have a very non tempting pantry at the moment & that is a good thing. Sugar cravings are awful & a sugar "hangover" is even worse.
 
Totally, having junk food in the house means that it's going to be eaten...sooner or later.

Today I'm going on a day out with some friends...for the first time this month. I can stay in control pretty well when it's just me but as soon as I'm with other people I tend to binge :( I REALLY want that to change and really not sure what it's all about.

The plan is not to give in this out of control feeling today!
 
& I'm the opposite. It's those rare times that I am home alone that I am tempted to binge. Hope you survive the day relatively unscathed!
 
Yesterday started off well but ended up a being a bit of a disaster. Consumed around 1000 calories in alcohol alone!!! Add to that the deep fried tofu and noodles...MFP said that I'd put on 3 kg in 5 weeks if every day was like that ha ha. Luckily it won't! :D

Drinking on a school night is never a good idea, but I'm remaining positive and just going to carry on and work on staying in control around food. Really shouldn't be that difficult!

Here's to a healthy week!!!
 
Delsid said:
I don't want to be that fatty from 4 years ago though, and I'm hoping this diary will help with this.

The idea is to take things day by day but also keep in mind the healthier, slimmer and happier me in 3 months time. I really believe I can do this!!!!

Sidney
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Welcome to the forum, Sidney.

I think the fact that you are saying you don't want to be 'that fatty from 4 years ago' is a very important factor in your weight loss journey. It's your motivation - you don't want to be the person you were in the past - you don't like that version of you and you don't want to go back. Believe it or not, that is one of the HARDEST realizations to have. Many people trying to lose weight don't have an honest regret or sincere desire to change - sure, they try, but they don't have a genuine drive to change who they are as a person...they just want to lose weight without making any changes. You, however, have ALREADY changed. And, now that you're a different person you don't want to go back to the way you used to be...and that is GREAT.

Good luck with your journey!!!

PS - When I read the title of your journal I immediately thought of the Step by Step theme song.

 
This is what was going through my mind when thinking of a title:


:D

Thanks Chef for the encouragement :) I think it's funny how for years I was in denial about how overweight I actually was, now I look at old pictures and literally go 'WTF?! :D How could I not see it???' I think maybe because I'd been chubby all my life I just accepted it and didn't think a change was possible. I think my problem now is that on the inside I still feel like that fatty a lot of the time...My mother was worried that after I lost the 3 stone I'd yoyo within months but losing that weight was a slow process and I completely changed the way I eat i.e. adopted a mainly plant based diet. Somehow though I've still managed to gain some of my weight back and that's what I'm working on now. But this time it's much more than just getting slimmer and fitter (and stronger!!! :D), it's a conscious effort to sort out my relationship with food - to feel in control around it and to start seeing myself in a different way. And writing on here definitely helps with this.

I'm possibly the biggest procrastinator I know. It's so frustrating. I need to do work!!!! (That's another thing I'd like to change...)
 
Yesterday was dark - I was feeling fat and lonely and a bit sorry for myself. It does get tough sometimes living on your own and working mainly from home because human contact is really limited...I enjoy my alone time, but too much of it, when you'd like some decent company, can feel really sad. I split up with my partner after 6 years nearly 8 months ago and even though we are on relatively good (if a bit odd) terms and he lives just round the corner we are not REALY friends...I think that's really hard to do.

Feeling better today but I think those waves of loneliness and feeling fed up with everything (literally EVERYTHING) will keep on coming back until I find myself in a happier space (which should only take another 2.5 months (June 5th is the magical date) because that is when I'll be able to travel again and my distance learning course will have finished by then). Until then I need to make more of an effort to get out of the house and meet people or Skype friends or family who are scattered all around the world when feeling blue. It's hard to remember that though...

Today I picked up my 1/2 marathon pack which was exciting!!! I signed up for it back in December, full of plans of how much I'm gonna train for it...well, it's this Sunday and I'm not too sure how it's gonna go but it's a lovely route and I'm just going to try to enjoy it as much as possible. 7:30 start!! I'll be up at 6 on a Sunday to run for god knows how long ha ha ...I'm really looking forward to the atmosphere though, the start and the end of a race are always amazing.
 
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