Please...Help with Girlfriend...:-D
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You'd benefit immensely from weight training while trying to cut. Money out of your pocket to make your girl happy? Sounds like you want to put in as little as possible to get the most results from her.
While Tanizaki's responses are ok, they are not in line with the OP's problem. He doesnt care about her attractiveness as much as her health.
I commend your efforts and concern for your girlfriend. In my opinion, it sounds as though you might be more motivated in keeping her healthy than she is for herself. That is not good! But my best advice to you is tell her when you're going to work out. Say things like "Oh it's about time I get exercising, wanna come with?" You know, invite her and make it seem like an outing. When I first started to exercise it seemed like a chore (even though I had the reasons to get fit and the 'spirit' to lose weight) to keep a routine going long enough to lose about a pound. That said...I had to all of my exercising alone and it's far more compelling to have a 'work out buddy' for me. In general, I don't know if this applies to all females but for me it does. Perhaps your girlfriend too? But no way...should you have to pay for her gym membership. If joining a gym isn't what you like to do but it's something that she needs to get her to do exercise..then have her pay for the both of you (I would for my b/f).
Telling her she's fantastic and pleasing her in ways that no other male can is also a GREAT tip. Maybe not worship but just remind her of what she'll be missing if you aren't there in her life to keep her company. If after all of that is said and done and she still doesn't budge then...well there's only so much you can do. In all honesty though, you shouldn't have to be trying this hard.
Also, I was going to say keep doing your thing. Don't let her bring you down when you're trying your hardest to lose weight. I agree with 'lead by example' but she's already got the idea that women have such a hard time losing weight than guys that..it might not help to show her how much your losing/cutting as you would like. =/ But really, I say have her teach herself about exercising and losing weight. Show her that if she at least exercises (hell, walk) three to four times a week then she is already going to see improvement. That with...minimal effort.
I know it's hard for us females to lose weight but it all really boils down to how badly she wants it and how long she'll let the self-loathing go on for. There's only so much that you can tell/do for her to push herself far enough to actually exercise/eat right. In any case, I am glad to see you like her just the way she is but it's a real bummer when she's so unhappy with herself. LOL, been there and done that to an ex-boyfriend of mine and he sounded like you. Only...I finally got up off my lazy a$$ and walked around the block.
He was happier in the end when I stopped complaining. Good luck!
Telling her she's fantastic and pleasing her in ways that no other male can is also a GREAT tip. Maybe not worship but just remind her of what she'll be missing if you aren't there in her life to keep her company. If after all of that is said and done and she still doesn't budge then...well there's only so much you can do. In all honesty though, you shouldn't have to be trying this hard.
Also, I was going to say keep doing your thing. Don't let her bring you down when you're trying your hardest to lose weight. I agree with 'lead by example' but she's already got the idea that women have such a hard time losing weight than guys that..it might not help to show her how much your losing/cutting as you would like. =/ But really, I say have her teach herself about exercising and losing weight. Show her that if she at least exercises (hell, walk) three to four times a week then she is already going to see improvement. That with...minimal effort.
I know it's hard for us females to lose weight but it all really boils down to how badly she wants it and how long she'll let the self-loathing go on for. There's only so much that you can tell/do for her to push herself far enough to actually exercise/eat right. In any case, I am glad to see you like her just the way she is but it's a real bummer when she's so unhappy with herself. LOL, been there and done that to an ex-boyfriend of mine and he sounded like you. Only...I finally got up off my lazy a$$ and walked around the block.
He was happier in the end when I stopped complaining. Good luck!buy some rubber bands or db's and look up or post a thread on circuit training if she is self conscious about going outside use that as a goal for doing circuit training inside -GOAL:comfortable enough to exercise in front of people and be proud of what I have accomplished- of course this is general and should have short term goals in baby steps to make accomplishments tangible or just find something that she likes to do-go hiking in the woods etc
to put her hair up? :yelrotflmao:
Tan, honey, 5'4"-5'5" and 140 lbs is no where near obese, and isn't even overweight - she just wants to drop a couple (although, if she continues eating the way she does, she may very well find herself a whole lot heavier in the next few years).
When I was struggling to lose baby weight, the best thing my husband could do was encourage me when I did well (and ignore when I slipped up). If you see her making better food choices, or doing some exercise, praise her for it. If you notice a slightly smaller waist line - point out how sexy it is. If you see her get a big-ass piece of cake - don't say a word, don't even look at her funny. She already knows she doesn't need it, anything, and I mean anything you say, is not going to help.
I agree with the other posters, the more active you are, the more active she is inclined to be as well.
*lead by example
*praise her efforts, however small
Other than that, she has to do it on her own.
When I was struggling to lose baby weight, the best thing my husband could do was encourage me when I did well (and ignore when I slipped up). If you see her making better food choices, or doing some exercise, praise her for it. If you notice a slightly smaller waist line - point out how sexy it is. If you see her get a big-ass piece of cake - don't say a word, don't even look at her funny. She already knows she doesn't need it, anything, and I mean anything you say, is not going to help.
I agree with the other posters, the more active you are, the more active she is inclined to be as well.
*lead by example
*praise her efforts, however small
Other than that, she has to do it on her own.
She should be at 105. Okay, okay, 108!
I think if she gets that cake, he should say, "hey, put down the chunky chews!" or just call some other girl that he met the other day with his new ripped body.
Yes, she does. I think I gave the OP some pretty good ideas for motivating her. For example, once I was dating a woman when she starting giving me some sass, so I started dating and banging other girls. The first woman stopped giving sass, cleaned up her act, and now her name is Mrs. Tanizaki.
I love that story.
I see where Tan is coming from in some points he is making but maybe they would not help the OP in this situation. His advice has been straight to the point and is valuable if the OP actually now finds his GF unattractive.
Some people have said if he loves her he wouldn't care if she was attractive or not...But when you love somebody YES it can make them appear more attractive, but it wouldn't even be fair on his GF if he didn't find her attractive enough to give her the attention she needs.
All women need plenty of attention and you need to like them for who they are and not have it at the back of your mind "oh man she is going to get even more unhealthy as the years go on...I better try and change her". It is good to encourage her to change and I like the idea of the not noticing the bad things she eats and encouraging her when you see her doing well. It depends how she reacts to it, if she gets used to liking the good attention she might start trying to get more of it, if you point out flaws it could get her down and she might eat for comfort.
My girlfriend isn't skinny, or overweight atall, so neither of the extremes yet she still thinks she needs to lose just a little weight, I think shes gorgeous how she is and man I tell you what that body of hers would never fail to turn me on...You should feel like this about your girlfriend.
So OP do you genuinely want your girlfriend to have a more healthy lifestyle, or to slim down? That is what will ultimately decide what you should do. If it is to make her more attractive to you then well...I am not so sure how much you do like her I have to say. Your girlfriend isn't even overweight judging by her size and height...I just don't get is it YOU who wants her to improve her lifestyle or HER that wants it for herself? Maybe she would prefer to stay how she is but at the same time thinks she disgusts you and doesn't want to lose you...So she is stuck for what to do.
It is up to you if she can stay how she is and still keep you...If you love her I am sure you will find her absolutely gorgeous and wouldn't be any happier or sadder if she stayed how she is.
Some people have said if he loves her he wouldn't care if she was attractive or not...But when you love somebody YES it can make them appear more attractive, but it wouldn't even be fair on his GF if he didn't find her attractive enough to give her the attention she needs.
All women need plenty of attention and you need to like them for who they are and not have it at the back of your mind "oh man she is going to get even more unhealthy as the years go on...I better try and change her". It is good to encourage her to change and I like the idea of the not noticing the bad things she eats and encouraging her when you see her doing well. It depends how she reacts to it, if she gets used to liking the good attention she might start trying to get more of it, if you point out flaws it could get her down and she might eat for comfort.
My girlfriend isn't skinny, or overweight atall, so neither of the extremes yet she still thinks she needs to lose just a little weight, I think shes gorgeous how she is and man I tell you what that body of hers would never fail to turn me on...You should feel like this about your girlfriend.
So OP do you genuinely want your girlfriend to have a more healthy lifestyle, or to slim down? That is what will ultimately decide what you should do. If it is to make her more attractive to you then well...I am not so sure how much you do like her I have to say. Your girlfriend isn't even overweight judging by her size and height...I just don't get is it YOU who wants her to improve her lifestyle or HER that wants it for herself? Maybe she would prefer to stay how she is but at the same time thinks she disgusts you and doesn't want to lose you...So she is stuck for what to do.
It is up to you if she can stay how she is and still keep you...If you love her I am sure you will find her absolutely gorgeous and wouldn't be any happier or sadder if she stayed how she is.
smart a$$ yeah to put her hair up :yelrotflmao:
Hello,
I am only a newbe here but that seems a little light from a girl that is 5'4" to 5'5"
imho
cbw
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It is. I'm 5'6" and I weigh 117 lbs. If I were below 115, I would be underweight. My goal is to weigh 120.
Like I said, I don't really care... I love her anyway. I hate hearing her complain about her weight and image. I can only tell her no thats not true and no you're not so many times.
It's good that you love her. But yes, it does wear you down to be around someone who complains about what they don't like about themselves. I think the best thing to do is to give her positive suggestions about what she should do if she starts complaining. Maybe you could plan an active date, like hiking or jogging to get her motivated. The worst thing you can do is tell her what to do. I'm speaking as a woman here, and I sure wouldn't want to be told what to do by my boyfriend. But, only give suggestions if she is complaining about her weight. If you do it out of the blue, she will think that her weight is the only thing on your mind, which isn't true because you've already said you love her no matter what.
Seems like half the battle solved right there. Encourage her to join the gym, if that will motivate her it's great. When the results start showing, tell her so. Why would it have to come out of YOUR pococket? If she pays, she'll be more likely to make use of it.
Right, so next time, say "hey, put down the chunky chews."