Men- need advice for my very small built teen son

I was hoping I could get some advice from men about my son. Some history. (sorry this is so long). He's 17 . He's very small for his age. He's not quite 5'2 106 pounds (if that) and passes for 13. He's very petite built and he hates it. I'm sure he inherited it from me. When I ( his mother) was 23 I was 5'2 95 pounds and passed for 13. I got stopped by a truant officer almost everyday.
To complicate it more, his dad is Chinese and barely 5'5 (only he 's 40 pounds overweight due to quitting smoking).
Here's the weird thing. My daughter, now 22 was 5'7 by the time she was 17. Pretty and on the slim side (about 135) yet looks like she could play on a girls basket ball team. Develops muscles easily. Has leg muscles etc.
When they both had braces put on when he was 10 and my daughter was 15, the orthodontist x-rayed their wrists to see how tall they would get as adults( I hadn't known they could do that.) Supposedly when the bones in the wrist plate fuse, they wont get any taller. So, when that was done I was told she would reach 5'5 max, and my son would reach 5'6, possibly 5'7. So, I was happy about that, as it might not be tall for some men, but coming from a family where your mom was 5'2. Your dad 5'7. One brother who was 6'2 and two other brothers who are barely 5'3. And all your sisters are barely 5'2. And my hubby only 5'5 ( if that). I was happy at the thought my son would even reach 5'6. Just tall enough not to be called "shrimp" , "shorty" and "pee wee" like my other two brothers were . My poor tall skinny brother was called "bean pole" ,so I guess tall people get it too. But my daughter surpassed the orthodontist estimates and my son is way below the estimate. They did another x-ray this year as my son kind of expressed concern. They said his wrist plate was almost totally fused now and the tallest he would get was 5'3 and if he was lucky 5'4. And they said they were predicting 5'2. I almost cried when I told him. I had to fight back tears and put on a cheerful face.
Size doesn't matter to me, but I know how much it does to guys, especially to teens. His little female cousin who is 13, towers over him at 5'5. Her dad is 6'2 and her mom ( my sis) is 5'2. And her brothers, even the 16 year old is 5'11 and her oldest brothers in their early 20's are 6'2 . So, I know he was counting on the dentist's original prediction of being at least 5'6-5'7 coming true. And I know it's going to be tough for him. He still gets asked his age at restaurants in
case he qualifies for the 12 and under kiddy prices.
Never mind he does have a bit of a moustache.
And he can't get a job with sales like at Best Buy or Walmarts. He's tried many times. Even though he's very intelligent with computers etc. He just looks like a slender 13 year old and I think that's why he isn't hired.

He even has long curly eyelashes which my daughter ( who has short stubby ones) envies.( And he hates). I find myself looking at her and him when they don't know I'm looking and wondering, "Why her"? Why did she have the height and bulk when girls can easily get away with being short and petite?
I know it's wrong to do it ,as you get what God gave you, but I just feel bad for him.Sometimes I see him mentally comparing his height when he's standing next to me or his sister or even his dad. I'm slightly taller then he is by 1/4 " or so.
I never thought much about it when I was pregnant with him. That I might have short sons due to my and my husbands heights. I was just so glad I was going to have him, as I was told not to get my hopes up as I probably would lose him like the other two babies I'd lost.

He's interested in working out and he does have those elastic, over the door pulleys he uses in his tiny bedroom.
Could I get some advice about what a man here would do if it was his son?
My hubby just says, "Live with it".
I try to use my other sisters son as an example. He's 30 under 5'4 and he's a Sargent in the Army ( 10 years now) And he's well respected ( although he gets the short jokes sometimes too) . He does sky diving and he's been sent on dangerous missions in Kosovo and Iraq.
Another thing though is my son talks of getting training for dangerous jobs like Black Water , ( that firm that had alot of guys massacred in Iraq when sent there on a security job) and I wonder if he talks like that due to feeling he has to make up for being so small.
He Homeschools through a correspondence school so he doesn't take any gym classes or anything. I think he would be very embarrassed to be in a gym with other guys his age and looking like their little kid brother. I think he would prefer to work out at home , for now. And although he likes being outdoors, he was never interested in sports like basketball, baseball etc.But he shows interest in weight lifting, or exercise machines like Bowflex and Total trainer etc when he watches the infomercials.
So, I was wondering what he could do to feel more like his age? What type of exercises could he do to add some kind of bulk to his small frame? I told him after my foot surgery( we don't have insurance) and will be paying the $ 6.200 from our lives savings for it. But I told him after that we could take him to a Pediatric growth specialist, just to make sure it's hereditary and not health related. He's kind of half wanting to and half I think, not wanting to know.
I personally think he just inherited my small frame and also due to being part Asian, when may of them are small and petite. But his dad wasn't petite even before he gained weight he was 130 at 5'5.( Now 180) Yet many of my sons cousins, who are all Asian are larger built then he is and have never kind of made fun of him about it. "
He's very careful with his diet. He eats protein, but not too many starches and almost no sweets at all.
Any advice on how to make him feel more manly and nota pip squeak would be appreciated. I was wondering if we should offer to buy him the total trainer or something to make him feel better about himself.
Please note that I rarely mention his size and how young he looks to him. I feel God made you what you are and what can you do about it? Be sorry you were born.? He did in fact say that to me once ( why was he even born? )which made me feel depressed. Especially since I was originally told I couldn't have anymore children after my daughter and he was a surprise (a happy one). I can see it bothers him being short and so petite though and he does bring up the subject sometimes about it.
Mostly I think he just suffers it in silence.
I'm very sorry this is so long but I was hoping for an outside opinion from some men. What they would do if it was their son.
Thanks.
cd
 
Ok, there's nothing that can be done about his height, short of surgery and even then at most it would add a couple inches.

He could built up his width using a good diet, free weight and solid workout.

But in short, you'll just have to reassure him that he is a vital individual and not to try to overcompensate.

Also encourage him to develop his mind and social skills.
 
If he were my son I would encourage him to try anything and everything. Sports, games, hobbies, different subjects in school, or a skilled trade. I would try to expose him to as much as possible, and support him in all his attempts at new things.

Everyone has something that they enjoy, and gives them a greater sense of self-worth and self-confidence. By the sounds of things I think that is what your son, and a lot of other people, need.

Maybe working out will help to give him that greater self confidence.

You seem like a very caring woman and mother, and I hope things work out well for your son.
 
I have seen this written in a teen self help book we read in class at school.
Your son could try the following (involves sacrifices):
Eat much more, protein ect.
Not eat junk/drink
Sleep 10 hours + a day, in a very dark room.
Have 2 litres of milk a night.
Work out daily. Get a Personal Trainer to recommend a workout.

Now I don't know much about height ect, but in the book some guy shared a story about how when he was 15 he was small and grew 7 inches in 3 years.
Also how developed is your son? If he is looking like a 13 year old maybe he is just a very late bloomer. Some people can grow untill they are 25. Don't give up hope.
 
I find the most accurate way of calculating a child's height is to get the Mothers Height + Fathers Height and Divide by 2, this is the Average of the Two and will ultimately be a median of where the child could grow.(Give or Take an inch)
Be sure to get the heights AT THE PEAK, age does'nt matter.
 
You might try putting him in some martial arts program, I know alotta guys w/ small frames that are nothing short of "bruce lee" caliber, Trust me if he can beat the tar outta guys 2x his hight and 3x his weight he will feel manly...and just remember the ole cliche..."it's whats on the inside that counts"
 
UCTAZMAN said:
You might try putting him in some martial arts program, I know alotta guys w/ small frames that are nothing short of "bruce lee" caliber, Trust me if he can beat the tar outta guys 2x his hight and 3x his weight he will feel manly...and just remember the ole cliche..."it's whats on the inside that counts"
Yo good call. I'd +1 that
 
If you're saving up to go to the doctor, you can inquire about GH. He might already be to old (probably) but it's worth asking. Since that's probably a negative, I suggest just letting him continue as he wishes. If he wants to lift, encourage it, if he wants to study martial arts encourage that too. Everyone's got some bad genes somewhere, I'd rather be 5' then have family history of heart attacks, and cancer.. But there's nothing you can do, life isn't about what you've got, but rather what you do with it.
 
I had a friend who, at 18, was diagnosed with low testosterone levels, and that was making puberty take FOREVER for him to complete.
He had a few months worth of test. shots from the doctor. he grew about 4 inches, his voice lowered, and they said he was 'cured'.

but his dad was at least 5'10", mom about 5'7", and caucasian. I haven't seen him in years, but he was always a very skinny kid even after the test shots.

so, its' probably worth a blood test at the doctors to see if he has abnormally low testosterone, which they can treat to a degree. but if he's normal...well then he's as tall as he was meant to be, and a proper diet with exercise will put meat (not fat) on his bones.
 
Allahkaba said:
I find the most accurate way of calculating a child's height is to get the Mothers Height + Fathers Height and Divide by 2, this is the Average of the Two and will ultimately be a median of where the child could grow.(Give or Take an inch)
Be sure to get the heights AT THE PEAK, age does'nt matter.
I don't think it works quit like that for the more extremes. I have just turned 14 and very nearly 5ft 10. My dad's 6ft exactly and my mum is 5ft 2. At the current rate of my growth I could get to 6ft 3, but most likely around 6 ft. Two or three of my friends are around 6ft now, although they are up to 10 months older, their parents aren't that much taller than mine.
 
At age 19, I was 5`3 and 107 lbs. I looked very young for my age, but I somehow managed to grow a mustaseh to look older. My situation was like a role reversal, as most girls my age were bigger and stronger. The problem was I was still physically maturing. By the age of 30, I was 1.5 inches taller, 50 lbs heavier, body hair. My voice had deepened alot. All I can tell him, is that it takes time. So tell him to hang in there.
 
There is always hope. I was the second shortest kid in my class right up until Senior year. Now I'm 5' 10". Not a giant, but I can live with it.

My best friend topped out at 5' 4". He took martial arts classes MANY moons ago, and the BEST thing it did for him was raise his self esteem. Confidence is what it is all about. He got more girls than any of us. He now teaches MMA, and no one messes with him.

I'd say up the protein, hit the weights, try some martial arts and learn to be proud of himself. Attitude is everything. Right now it sucks for him, but you know what?? ALL teenagers are insecure about something. My daughter is 17 and is stunning. She does gymnastics and cheerleads. She is in great shape and she is just plain gorgeous. But you know what? All I ever hear is "My butt is too big" "I hate my hair" "My legs are too muscley"....and on and on. You'd think she would be totally confident in her looks, but quite the opposite. It's sad really.

Time will level the playing field. He'll be fine.
 
This thread is 4 years old.

HAHAHA. Oops. The kid is probably six feet tall by now.
 
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