Noch zum Thema...
How to Simulate Life in the Army
1. Dig a big hole in your back yard and live in it for 30 days straight.
2. Go inside only to clean the house. On weekends, you can eat in the house, but you can't talk.
3. Pour 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your hole, then shovel it out, stack sandbags around it and cover it with a sheet of old plywood.
4. Fill a backpack with 50 pounds of kitty litter. Never take it off outdoors. Jog everywhere you go.
5. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.
6. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.
7. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn the water pressure in your shower down to a trickle, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it up so hard it peels skin. On Saturdays and Sundays declare to your entire family that they can't use the shower in order to keep it clean for inspection.
8. Go inside and make your bed every morning. Have your wife tear the blankets off at random during the day. Re-make the bed each time until it is time to go back outside and sleep in your hole.
9. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout "Get up! Get up! You are moving too slow! Get down and do push-ups!"
10. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and read it to you.
Aus der ZDV (Zentrale Dienstvorschrift), der Bibel der Bundeswehr:
(Dieses sind keine Witze sondern leider echte Zitate.)
1)Bei Eintritt der Dunkelheit ist mit nachlassen der Sicht zu rechnen
2)Wenn das Wasser bis zur Brust reicht, hat der Soldat selbständig
mit Schwimmbwegungen anzufangen.
3)Bei erreichen der Baumspitze hat der Soldat die Kletterbewegung
selbständig einzustellen.
4)Liegt der Kopf mehr als 20 cm vom Rumpf entfernt, ist der Tod
festzustellen.
5)Bei Schnee und Frost ist mit auftretender Kälte zu rechnen.
