Worried about relationship, money, career - losing weight's the last thing on my mind

M

mentie

New member
Hey everyone,

I've been exercising, watching what I eat, counting calories (on thedailyplate.com), and very slowly losing weight/inches for the last 3 months. I've also been meditating as well (working on my spiritual health).

Recently I've found myself in a lot of stressful situations - still mourning the end of a relationship, having an accident that will cost a lot of money, being unable to find a new apartment that I can afford, being unable to meet deadlines at work due to external forces, being sad and worried that I won't be able to match in the field that I've dreamed of working in (in my career we aren't "hired", we're "matched" based on our achievements and grades).

So many things happened at once, and I am starting to not watch what I eat. I'm worried about so many other things; I feel like I don't have the time, energy, or motivation to worry about weight loss. I have learned to know when I'm full before I overeat. Learning to minimize my usual large portions and eating slowly has helped me realize that I can be full without finishing everything on my plate. But I'm sure that by not watching what I eat, I will probably be eating 1700-2100 calories/day and then I might start over-eating again. Anyway, my mind is so preoccupied with other things that I forget to log my calories, and I eat whatever I feel like eating.

I don't know what to do. Should I take a break from trying to lose weight and just try to maintain until I can get other things sorted out? Or if I want to get back on track, how can I convince myself that it deserves as much attention as other things in my life? I guess I am just venting, and in need of some support. I still continue to meditate because I've formed that into a habit that's much harder to drop. But I've dropped exercising and eating right and spend more of my time thinking and worrying and trying to care of the other issues.

I feel so down and tired and sad. :(
 
Wow, that is a lot to have on your plate. Its hard enough to work on maintaining one's weight, nevermind actually losing it. In the grand scheme of life, what's another 3 to 6 months of being overweight while you sort out your issues. Losing weight can take a lot of focus, calorie counting, exercising etc. I say worry about maintaining, and save the rest of your energy for sorting your life out. Do keep in mind that looking and feeling better through weight loss will definitely perk you up and give you more confidence and excitement about finding a new man etc, so once you get the money/apt issues sorted, its time to hop back on your plan.
 
mentie said:
Hey everyone,

I don't know what to do. Should I take a break from trying to lose weight and just try to maintain until I can get other things sorted out? Or if I want to get back on track, how can I convince myself that it deserves as much attention as other things in my life? I guess I am just venting, and in need of some support. I still continue to meditate because I've formed that into a habit that's much harder to drop. But I've dropped exercising and eating right and spend more of my time thinking and worrying and trying to care of the other issues.

I feel so down and tired and sad. :(
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Hi Mentie,

It seems when we are most stressed we are also most destructive. Don't worry about loosing weight, but that doesn't mean don't stop eating right. And make time to exercise. If you meditate, you may also enjoy Yoga and that is a great form of exercise as well as stress reliver. Walk, no one says you have to be exerting yourself to the very edge. Exercise is good for your physical and well as your mental state.

Hang on to these good habits you have developed, because they are the good things that will help give you the strength to get thru these stressful times....

Hang in there and don't give up!

take care,
Diane
 
I'd say not to worry so much about going to the gym but, try...try...try to eat healthy. If you do so you won't have your weight on your mind to go with all the other issues, plus I'm a firm believer that bad food makes your brain all out of whack!

Sleep......sleep...sleep......make sure your getting enough, although I'm sure with all the worrying your doing it's not easy.

As cliche as it sounds, time is a great healer (as far as your past relationship).
 
So sorry to hear about you ended relationship and troubles, but I think this decision is really up to you and how you function.

For example, if you know that once you have everything sorted you will, beyond any doubts, go back to exercising and eating healthy, then yes, take a damn break! I'm just guessing, but I don't think you're highly/morbidly obese and in extreme risk of heart issues within the next few weeks/months, so it shouldn't be that big a deal, as long as you don't comfort eat.

Just eat what you need, it doesn't necessarily need to be a Soy derived, 16 vitamin, whole wheat, organic, mocha-frappa-whatever the hell women drink nowadays, but it shouldn't necessarily be McDonald's every day. Eat homecooked meals when you can and don't skip breakfast.

Best of luck, hope you get your life sorted out!
 
Life is holistic. I firmly believe that eating healthy (not necessarily in a caloric deficit, though, in your situation) and exercising has a positive impact on your well being, both mentally and physically. I'd like to think that, given your situation, I would find it comforting to be able to eat what I know is best for me, and do the exercise that will get/keep my body healthy. When you feel like things are spiraling out of control, what better therapy than more stability and "success" in other areas of your life?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that over-analyzing and worrying are like a rocking chair. There's a whole lot of motion, but you don't actually get anywhere. Why not spend that time doing something that will make you feel better and not worse?

However, if you really believe allowing things to slide on the fitness front will make your life less stressful because you'll have more time to do things (and not think/worry about them), then okay. If you're just wanting to wallow in your own misery and give up on what you want, then no.

Oh, and I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I hope you'll have better very soon. :)
 
[Focus];397248 said:
Life is holistic. I firmly believe that eating healthy (not necessarily in a caloric deficit, though, in your situation) and exercising has a positive impact on your well being, both mentally and physically. I'd like to think that, given your situation, I would find it comforting to be able to eat what I know is best for me, and do the exercise that will get/keep my body healthy. When you feel like things are spiraling out of control, what better therapy than more stability and "success" in other areas of your life?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that over-analyzing and worrying are like a rocking chair. There's a whole lot of motion, but you don't actually get anywhere. Why not spend that time doing something that will make you feel better and not worse?

However, if you really believe allowing things to slide on the fitness front will make your life less stressful because you'll have more time to do things (and not think/worry about them), then okay. If you're just wanting to wallow in your own misery and give up on what you want, then no.

Oh, and I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I hope you'll have better very soon. :)
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I agree with all you said. And I love the bit about the rocking chair.......very true!
 
Thanks so much everyone for your thoughtful advice!

Blancita - you're right that trying to lose weight takes a lot of focus, and right now I feel emotionally and physically exhausted ..I think I will follow your advice and just focus on maintaining .. thanks so much!!

Diane - Your comments made me open my eyes .. I do find that when I am stressed I can be very destructive, which makes things even worse .. I think Yoga sounds like a great idea because I don't feel like I have enough energy to do intense cardio like before .. I've never tried yoga before .. are there certain things I need to buy before I join a class?

Joey - I will remind myself to get enough sleep! I know that with time, I should be able to get over this relationship .. but unlike past relationships, I am having a harder time letting go of the sadness .. I kept trying to figure out why and I came to the conclusion that I am still "paying for" all the bad things that came out of that relationship (like not being able to match in my specialty of choice because I spent so much time hurting instead of studying back then) .. I wish I could have been able to walk away without repercussions that affect my career, my living situation, etc. :(

Matt - Yes I am not comfort eating .. I just eat when it's time for lunch and dinner, but I eat whatever I feel like eating instead of picking that soy-derived organic mocha-frappa lol!! And yes I've been skipping breakfast .. do you think just having an glass of OJ is enough?

Focus - thank you for your words of wisdom .. love the rocking chair analogy .. You're right, it's not productive of me to just sit and worry and wallow without doing something productive .. I need to focus on studying and meeting deadlines and fixing what's broken .. I do need to try to find stability in something ..

Thanks so much everyone ... it's been SO SO SO helpful as I haven't realized much of this on my own .. I'm really glad I posted!
 
Anytime :)

And btw, don't ever beat yourself up for mourning the loss of a relationship (unless it's a year later and you can't get outta bed!). Breaking up is like a mini death.
 
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