workout and negative feelings

NothinToLose

NothinToLose

New member
Hi, all,

well, I was working out tonight and I got to thinking... I am afraid of starting working out routine. I know it sounds silly, but its just in the past every time I tried to exercise to loose weight I never lost anything, and I did not see ANY postive changes in my body. And for some reason that makes me afraid that if I start consistantly working out now, it will actually STOP my weight loss progress going forward. I know that fear is silly, but it is real. The only time I actually lost weight from working out is when I was working out 1-2 hrs a day, 7 days a week, and it was not all at the gym. I would do weights in the gym for about an hour, and I rode horses 4 times a week, and I think I was jogging then too, I don't remember exactly. I actually was not trying to loose anything, I was working out because it made me feel strong.
I know that as long as I'm working out for "weight loss", nothing is going to happen. I need to switch my thinking somehow, that I'm working out so I can feel better, stronger, not because of weight loss.

Another thing about workout is really bothering me. When I work out I see all the fat jiggling and tiny meager little muscle buried deep under it. And it really lowers my self esteem, because I start hating my body, and then I get angry and depressed because feel so fat. So instead of workout making me feel emotionally better, it is making me feel emotionally worse. I know that somehow I need to change that line of thinking but I'm at a loss on how to go about it. Do you guys have any suggestions? Does anyone ever feel that way?

I know I will succeed with workout if I do it just for fun, like certain sports. But workout for workout sake brings out all the negative emotions and fears. Does anyone know how I can change it? I can "just do it", but I really don't want to be miserable (emotionally) after every workout. Please Help!!!

P.S. I'm just starting working out and building up time I'm exercising. My workouts mainly consist of strength training (calisthenics type - squats, crunches, various leg lifts and extensions, and light weights for arms) and aerobic activity (stationary biking and jumping rope). I had some weight loss success with mostly dieting only from December 2005, but recently my weight loss slowed down to mere 1.5 lb per month, and I know I need to exercise into equation. I'm 29, female, 136 lbs, 5'2".
 
I think you should shift your focus here. Think of things you might enjoy doing that involves activity, but not necessarily a 'workout'. Brainstorm. Yardwork? Gardening? Hiking? Mountain Biking? Swimming? Skiing? I dunno. Walking somewhere instead of driving? I'm sure you'll think of something. Substitute things you do every day in daily life with something that involves more activity. Like they say, take the stairs not the elevator. We're talking about lifestyle changes here, not a quick fix.
 
Imafatass is right... i know its hard to do... but try and not think about the fact that your 'working out.'

For the fat jiggling thing just don't look at it... if you know it upsetts you then try and ignore it. Pretend it isnt there... Its like when i started the treadmill i was really self consious at the fact that when i ran my breasts jiggeld a lot! (i have rather big breasts for my size. lol) it used to upsett me a lot... then i got my ipod... tuned in bouncy music and ignored the rest of the world... screw what they thought... you can do it hun. :)
 
Thank you all!!!

Yes, I need a bag of mind tricks that I can use when those thoughts pop into my head. As far as workouts go, I am obviously not looking for a quick fix, given that I'm doing the weight loss thing for over 3 months now, and despite only 1.5 lb loss per month I still have not given up yet... Also, I feel the need of structured/planned exercises and activities because otherwise it is too easy for me to say "I don't feel like doing it right now, will do it next time". Also, I really feel that I need strength training as significant part of a workout, and neither biking outside nor gardening are going to cut it. I need to build muscles so that I can burn more then 1350 calories per day, and so that I can improve in my favorite sport - horseback riding. Also, avoiding triggering my demons is easy (just not exercise :)) but I want to kill those demons, resolve those mental roadblocks so I never feel bad when I'm exercising again. Keep those thoughts coming, all!
 
I TOTALLY know what you mean about working out and feeling worse after instead of better. I have the exact same problem about seeing myself when I'm working out. For me its not my breasts the jiggle, its my butt. I have a rather "curvey" butt and when I walk or run it really jiggles alot - to the extend that the skin at the top of my hips will get sore from the pulling. I also need to have a "plan" when it comes to working out or I will just keep putting it off. I just started trying to lose the weight again and I have not yet managed to do a single work out!!

Some of the tricks that I used to use last year when I was going to the gym were:
- When I used a treadmill I would try to find one that wasn't in a direct line with the mirrors - that way I would actually have to turn my head to see myself so it was easier to not look.
- whenever I see a heavier person doing some sort of physical activity I always think to myself "good for them, they are doing something good for themselves". I would use that thought when I would start obsessing about what other people were saying to themselves when they saw me. At first I would think they were saying "OMG look at her - her butt is soooo huge" but I would stop myself and think that they were mentally encouraging me instead.

I have alot of demons myself but remember that you created them and you can destroy them!!! I was on anti-depressants for 2 years and I have finally managed to come off them(which is another story entirely), but the trick is you have to take every negative thought that goes through your mind and flip it around into a positive one. Even though you may feel like your lieing to yourself at first eventually it will get easier and you will start to feel good in your skin again.

As for not losing weight even tho you are working out - remember that you will be building muscle which weighs more than fat. Try taking your measurements instead of weighing yourself for a while and see if you see more of a difference that way. I also dont seem to lose as much weight when I work out, but I have also noticed that when I work out I get alot hungrier and end up eating more than I would if I wasnt working out. Make sure you continue to keep a close eye on your portions.

Sorry for such a long post, but I really identified with your problems :eek:
 
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