Why do I eat?

Patty1

Patty1

New member
Are we emotional eaters? I'm curious why we eat too much or too often or too unhealthy. What is your story?

What goes through our heads? Do we give ourselves permission to do it?

I hate the way my body looks and my clothes fit. My cholesterol is sky high. I'll even have these conversations in my head as I eat. "I don't care" is the gist of it.

I decided to exercise a whole bunch, and have done it for 12 weeks. Maybe then I wouldn't have to face my eating habits. I have cut back some on eating bad foods, but evidently not enough. My weight loss has stalled for weeks.

I love food. I love the taste of it, the smell of it. When my family gets together, we eat. It's how we get along best. I love eating out.

I was at the store yesterday. My husband asked me to pick up chili and Fritos to make Frito pie. I said "No, we have to start eating better."

I was at Bunco last night. The hostess prepared a light version of an apple crisp with light whipped cream on the side. I took a tiny serving and put a tiny dollop on top and someone actually said "Oh that's not enough." I said "I'm watching what I eat."

What do you do without the support of family and friends?
 
I know what you mean! I've asked myself those questions before too. When I get mad at my hubby, I go right for the junk. I'll remind myself not to, but the responce is "I don't care, I'm angry"

I don't really get support from my family. My hubby's family is the type to get jealous, so we dont' talk about it. And my mom has lost alot of weight so she wants me to "look like her" (puke) I dont' even want to hear about it. But this site has been so much encouragment for me, Don't know what I'd do without all of you!!
 
I was totally an emotional eater. if Im sad I'll eat, angry - eat, happy - eat..... eat eat eat ....... I would binge eat.... eat it all.... eat the whole box.... a friend and I would go to one white castle eat all we could and hit the next white castle b4 we got home ! WHA?! Insane!
Then I started this forum, got tons of support, fell a couple times, but now Im on a roll....
hopefully whatever happens in my brain when I binge will not happen again anytime soon.
I never knew I was a binger till I started posted and thinking about what I ate for the day..
then it made me sick to think about it....
I am glad to have learned so much from everyone here.
now instead of Eating when I get p.o'd - I EXERCISE.... I even cried while exercising once, made me work harder though! Then I laughed when I was done... sound crazy? maybe.... I dunnoo....
 
I'm definitely an emotional eater.

I have a friend who suffered from eating disorders previously and in a way emotional/binge/compulsive eating is a disorder. She told me to call her when I was about to binge or eat something off my plan. She asks me, "Victoria, what's REALLY going on?" Then I have to sit back and look at it. Some outside stimuli has a hold on me and to "fix" it, I go eat.

Now, I don't like the idea of someone else having control over me and when I go eat over some outside stimuli it's usually because I'm upset about someone in my life. That means I'm letting them have control over me. I might as well go up to him/her and say, "Will you stuff this down my throat 'til I feel better?"

It's all good to say this now, when I'm not emotional and don't want to do that. It comes down to crunch time when I actually am in the middle of the situation: will I call her and ask for help or do I go to the fridge/cabinet/fast food joint?

Also, she might not be available! What do I do? Well she said to just call someone, anyone (or go be around someone in person) and talk about anything else, just not food. The best trick is to ask someone about themselves and keep them open ended questions. If you ask me about me, I'll go off on a tangent - I can talk about myself forever - it's my best subject: I know all about it!

Today is barely another day in my regimen. Hopefully, we'll see how it goes.
 
I am an emotional eater as well - except for me it goes with ALL emotions ... I mean i don't even have to be feeling anything extreme, just boredom, happiness, sad, anything at all - not good ! But I have been posting on here and that has honestly been the only thing to keep me on track. Also, I'm getting to the point where Iexercise more and feel much better when I do .... I'm noticeing eerything I put into my mouth, everything - and that helps. I don't get support from friends really - I mean if I asked, I would ... but I don't like making this hugley public ... I don't know why. But all my friends are thin and not as serious about this as I am ... and the bigger ones do not talk about it at all ... so I get support from my mom, my dad someimtes (but he has ALWAYS ALWAYS been on me for my weight , always saying I need to lose weight ... ) so he is not the best to talk to about it, he is very thin and doenst understand that it is hard to do .. not just stop eating as much. But my boyfriend supports me as best as he can - he is also thin and can eat anything and not gain a pound. he TRIES to gain weight - so we are at opposite ends on that subject, but he does his best to support me and congratulates me and encourages me to keep going. This though, this forum ... has been by FAR the best support that I recieve. My boyfriends parents are same as your situation NewBride - they are very jelous and are the type to talk behind your back ... not the most wonderful people, but thats another story in itsekf lol*
But yes - my main support is most definately this place. You guys are thr best =-)
 
Patty,
I too am /was an emotional eater.....Dr.Phils weight loss book has REALLY opened my eyes . Somethings I did not like to hear..and there are some written exercise he has us write down..( which I also hate)....but to get to the core of our eating problem we need to know our truth......Some people say .."dr phil smeel"...But dont knock it until youve tried it...what do you got to lose??......no pun intended...lol...
We all need to gain emotional control in our life. If we dont we are doomed to be overweight and unhealthy for the rest of ourlives! Whatever the situation....we are the ones who choose our own reaction to it....we have the choice about whether that event or situation will be our absolute undoing or whether it becomes something we DEAL with in a constructive manner.....I know it is hard....but there is a light at the end of the tunnel in this battle of weight loss
 
I read through the South Beach diet plan today. I wrote down the things I think I can eat, then made a list of meals. I looked through my pantry and recipe collection and a bell went off. Nothing I cook or eat out looks much like these meals.

I thought I'd gained pretty good control in the past few months over eating too much at meals and eating when I'm bored (watching TV or late at night). I leave food on my plate. I don't eat the chips or fries that come with a meal when I eat out. Instead of snacking on half a bag of potato chips, I might have a handful of pretzels or a slice of bread with light butter. Recently my sister left a bag of candy at the house, and I've been nibbling on it. I threw it away today, which was strangely hard to do because we've been taught not to waste!?!?!?!

So I have been eating less food (which is a big triumph I think), but not better food. I guess it's time to kick it up a notch. I think I have Dr. Phil's book - I'll have to dust it off....
 
Dust it off ...and get to reading. !!!!..I even take mine in the bathroom with me..( yes..I admit I am a bathroom reader!!!!!lol,,lol)
I believe there is a part in there that talks about us not wanting to "waste" food....I honestly think that is one reason people get so fat....just like when I use to go to buffetts and try to eat as much as I could so I could get my moneys worth....ITS BS I tell ya!!!!!!
Also now...when we go someplace I DO NOT order combo meals....I ask just for the sandwhich....no fries...no eating.."no wasting"....
What foods is it you DONT like?......Sometimes we have to reprogram our mind into liking certain foods. Because our mouth is so use to all the fatty and fake sugar we have been gorging ourselves on.........I am not a fan of broccoli....( how ever you spell it)....But what I do..is I cut it into smaller pieces..and mix it with something else.....thats why I like lean cuisines...because I eat veggies I dont normally like because they are mixed with rice and sauces.
Because I no longer eat alot of sweets....things like diet cokes taste TOO sweet for me...and fruits taste WONDERFULLY sweetful.....
Patty I know you can do this......I am here for you!!!!
 
Hi all-
New user here. Am just getting sick of resorting to eating whenever I am stressed. I want a better way of dealing with things, but even when I am able to recognize what I'm doing - stress eating- I get that defiant thought in my head: so what, I don't care. It's like I'm being rebellous against myself, which makes no sense because gaining weight only makes me even more unhappy. I am wondering how to really break the cycle of this pattern???? How do you change long-ingrained habits?
 
I know when I binged I would feel as though I don't deserve to be happy. I don't know why, I have a great husband, beautiful daughter and a beautiful home. I think when you tell yourself that you are worth it and you deserve to be happy then you will start treating your body with more respect. Over eating is definitely an emotional roller coaster for people and for me. Start doing things that feel good (other than eating of course) Get a new hobby. Cut or color your hair. Buy some flowers for yourself. I know that the reason I ate was because I felt down on myself, when I realized that my family needs a wife and mother that is happy and positive I started to see things differently.
Shelley
 
My story is no different. I would eat when I was angry, sad, lonely, even bored. I would start off small and before I knew it, nearly half of a cake or a whole bag of chips would be gone. I'm definately addicted to fast food. I always used it as a treat or whenever I didn't feel like cooking. When I was going through my divorce I was depressed and I would overeat constantly, I just flat out stopped caring. One day I just decided that enough is enough/ Fortunately my eating habits have improved and now whenever I feel down I turn on some music and dance or go for a walk. Excercise can truly be an outlet for all the emotions that would normally cause us to overeat.
 
i guess i'm in the minority. i was never an emotional eater. i only eat when my stomach growls and sometimes i dont even then. i have had and still have unfortunately an all or nothing/black and white mentality. before i got pregnant, my biggest fear was getting fat one day so even when i was 115 pounds i was dieting (to keep from gaining). so when i did get pregnant, i decided i would let loose and eat as i liked for once in my life "for the sake of my babies". if i couldnt be dieting, then i just HAD to eat everything! so i went up to 210 pounds both pregnancies. i figured oh i'll just lose it later but it wasnt that easy!

now that i'm back to a decent weight, i can assure you all i will NEVER be obese again as i am done having kids. my fear of getting fat is so great now, i will probably go too far the other way. i just cant help it.
 
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i eat win im bored

ill be sitting at my desk then ill be like umm im bored and go look in the friedge at least 10 times a day!! i go and exersise but its nothelping if i eat a billion cals and only burn 800. so im a "bored eater" so as long as im having fun i wont eat like half the day or if im busy i will never eat but most of the time im not doing anythnag and bored so im trying to stay active all day long like today i felt like changing my room around then i was like umm lets clean my closet out then i was like umm wat about the garage cleaned that out only took 8 hours to do all of this but i stay up like 17-19 hours a day i dont sleep to much so wat am i going to do for the outher 10 hours? eaT? thats wat i do
 
What do you do without the support of family and friends?[/QUOTE]

That's a tough question too.... I've always been the "littlest one" in my family, and so if I ever complain about being overweight they all jump on top of me for it. I think people forget that everyone has a personal comfort zone, and whether or not there's someone bigger in the room than you, you still just want to feel your best.
It's also hard when the holidays are coming up- where "eat more" is the constant frame of mind. I feel like there's always some holiday, birthday, weekend trip....that you could say was a reason to eat more, to splurge, but then it all just kind of melds together. Making people realize how important your goals are to you takes a LOT of commitment. Hopefully once you've explained how important this is to you, your friends and family will be supportive- and maybe even stive for a healthier lifestyle too. Last Thanksgiving I made my entire family do a TurkeyTrot 5K road race (walk/jog/or run) - I paid so there were no excuses! It was a fun way to change the focus to spending healthy active family time together.
Most things are easier with the help of a support system, right? So I guess if friends and family aren't always supportive, that's why we post here too?! Plus there seems to be no judgement when everyone is in a similar situation.
 
I was watching a dateling (or one of those other news magazine shows) about obese teens... there is a high school that they can go to - and they have to agree to stick with their diets and exercise, and set goals for themselves... but one of the main requirements of the program is counseling. One of the major themes at the school is that often our weight only serves as a mask for other problems in our lives - and its easier dealing with our weight than the others... sometimes our weight is the cause of those other problems, but sometimes they are there...

i think the whole conversation about being emotional eaters is totally on point. And i think one way to get over using food as a solution is to really deal with some of our problems that are beind our eating. Christina had an awesome suggestion when she said that she exercises when she is upset - I have also found that to be a great way to help heal myself - afterall - exercise releases endorphins!!!

But it's also about little things - about not letting what people say to us bother us, but to go straight to the source and TELL them that we dislike it. Or practicing meditation (or even just deep breathing) to calm ourselves in difficult moments.

I have become increasingly aware that we need to care for our whole selves... body mind and soul if we are going to succeed =)
 
I'm partly an emotional eater, and partly a habitual eater. I currently live in my mom's basement (hey don't knock it, its free rent for an already poor university student!), and my bedroom door comes out right next to the kitchen. And for some reason, every time I walk into the kitchen, I am compulsed to check the fridge, the cupboards, the pantry, for anything that might tickle my tastebuds. Just 'cuz. Usually I end up leaving with a granola bar or a yogurt, which isn't so bad as a snack, but I go up several times per day. Since I've recognized the habit, I've been much better able to resist it, but I still find myself standing in the kitchen wondering what to do every now and again.

Other than that, I also tend to binge a little when I'm upset, and I'll eat idly, not even paying attention to what I'm putting in my mouth when I'm bored. Once I went through half a bag of those mini-carrots while watching TV before I even realized how much I was eating.
 
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