Why am I embarrassed about my weight loss?

Halo1

Halo1

New member
Hi all,

Bit of a weird question:

Ive lost some weight, Im 5ft 6 or 7" and Ive gone from 148 lbs to about 139 lbs. Now people are starting to notice. Which, surely, is a good thing?

So why do I feel so embarrassed when they ask "Have you lost some weight?". I typically murmor, "um, maybe a little bit".

I also dont really like to say im dieting, my boyfriend knows because I live with him so it would be pretty darned hard to hide it!

But when people ask me if im trying to lose weight or what im doing, I say "Oh nothing specific" or "Just trying to lay off pizza and chips lunches at Uni, saves money".

I also go to some lengths to fit my calorie limits around social events like meals and nights out, so it wont look like im taking the 'diet' option, since it avoids the afor mentioned questions.

I do have one theory, when people find out Ive lost weight, they normally say "well dont lose any more!" I usually just smile, I cant say I wont lose anymore, im specifically trying to!

Im confused :confused:
 
the amount I've lost is embarassing to me so I will rarely say the number outside of here...

With my family - especially - I haven't said anything because well -they'd encourage me to fail so they could do the I told you so dance...

I think a lot of people go thru that as well - that they won't say they are intentionally losing weight because there are people in their lives that are just waiting for them to gain it back so they they can feel smug.

Be proud of what you've accomplished... if you're feeling better about yourself and liking what you see in the mirror then don't be embarassed.

BTW - I like the responses you've given -it's really none of anyone's business why youo are eating or not eating...
 
I think this is a perfectly normal reaction. When we are really overweight, we don't like to call attention to ourselves. We like to be as invisible as possible, since we think our bodies are huge and already grossly noticeable to everyone in a room. So we develop an instinctive way of handling attention to our body, which is to shrink away from it.

That's one of the reasons why I think weight training is so important. It gives you something about your body you can feel proud off, "show off" a bit with.

As you get closer and closer to your goal, you have to learn a whole new set of responses to people who notice you.
 
I'm the same height and have similar goals to yours. For me, it's embarrassing because in the grand scheme of things, I don't "look" like I need to lose weight. I look fine. But people don't see the unhealthy middle under my clothes, or feel the tight fit of my clothes. I don't want people to think I'm just being vain. So I don't tell people I'm dieting.

I just say I am trying to eat healthier.

;)
 
Funny, I'm the exact same way!! We're about the same height and started at the same weight and once I broke down below 140 people started noticing...I'm sort of an extrovert so I would just laugh and say, "yeah, I see you looking at me!!"...I usually play anything that embarrasses me off w/ a "I don’t care" attitude...when it really does make me feel funny...I've always been like that, anytime I'm embarrassed you wouldn’t be able to tell b/c I guess I fake it well enough.... strange huh.... but when people ask how much I've lost I actually find myself telling a lie...like "oh not much" or "I don’t know" ha, like I haven’t been counting every pound!! I guess I don’t want people to think I'm a health nut, not that its bad...and I like being healthy...but I hate people scrutinizing me.
 
Thank you all for the great advice!

Mal : I am quite proud of what Ive managed on the inside, I just seem quite incapable of convaying that to anybody else lol. I hope nobody is waiting for me to put the weight back on, but then you never know what people are thinking I suppose.

TomO : When I was younger (and bigger) I didnt like to call attention to myself at all, I was quite painfully shy. I think that has improved as time has gone on, but some things still throw me a bit, I hope I do learn some of those resposes soon!

indigoiis : I know what you mean! And Ive used, "im just trying to eat healthier" too hehe. For me its the fact people dont see the chubby legs I hide under my bootleg jeans!
 
LynnZ : Maybe il try laughing it off next next time, but it would probly look too obvious coming from me :D I usually round how much Ive lost, Ill say, "about half a stone" when I know full well its exactly 9lbs!
 
Also, don't forget that when we make positive lifestyle changes, often our friends and family become afraid - even on a subconscious level - i.e. "maybe she won't like me when she gets sober and realizes I'm a bore," or "I wonder if he'll be cranky when he quits smoking," or... "when she's all hot and cute at 120, will that mean I will have to lose weight too in order not to lose her?"

And maybe on some level we are sensitive to that... you don't want to stir things up... ?
 
That's exactly what I'm starting to feel. Even though my partner is totally supportive of my weightloss, sometimes I just feel that she isn't all that happy about it. It isn't jealousy or resentment, but I can't think of any better words to describe it, and it isn't anything she's actually said. It's almost as if she's afraid, but I'm not sure exactly what she's afraid of. I notice it most when I'm feeling particularly positive about myself, she'll be very negative about other aspects of out life. I wonder if it is fear of my new confidence. She's afraid that I'm going to change.

I'm reluctant to talk to people about my weightloss too. This evening, my partner's mum phoned, and I heard her saying on the phone that I was losing weight. I wanted to tell her to stop and not say anything, but it was too late, and I know she wouldn't have understood. Fortunately, my family live quite a long way away, so there's no reason to tell them about it. When I see them, they'll know.
 
I hope my boyfriend doesnt think il suddenly disapear when the scale reaches a certain number... Hes always been nothing but complimentry about the way I look, what ever size Ive been. So I know he loves me what ever size I am :)

I have been involving him in this, since we share meals and Ive been trying to make them healthier. Then one day he said, "since your going to get me to eat healthy, I might aswell join a gym too" and started going to the gym 3 times a week with his friend, im so proud :)

Alibran: Maybe you losing weight is making your partner be a little introspective about the things she would like to change in her life but hasnt? That could be what is making her feel awkward.

Im glad to hear im not the only person who experiences this! :)
 
I have these same feelings. I don't like to answer the question of "how much have you lost so far?" because I don't like people knowing how much I started out as. And also I'm not obsessing over the scales so I only weigh myself once a month. I'm relying more on the tape measure. I feel uncomfortable when they keep saying I look good
 
I know exactly what you are going through and I agree totally with Tomo's post. I've been overweight most of my life (oh god, the elementary years, quite cool), and sometimes, I wish I was invisible so know one could see me...

Now everyones telling me i'm losing weight...and....i just don't know how to react. I don't want to be noticed, i just want to hide in a little hole in the wall.

And yeah, I've already diagnosed myself with a few anxiety disorders :(...but i'm slowly trying to regain confidence.
 
Haley: Sometimes when people say I look good I get so flustered I forget to say thankyou! Then I feel bad :(

DeepGreen: Its odd, I stopped being, strictly speaking, over weight quite a long time ago. But I still have the anxiety and the feeling of wanting to hide my body away. But it has got a lot lot better and my confidence has been growing and growing since I left school. Best of luck to you!
 
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