crystaleyes
New member
destined for fatdom? not i...not anymore. it's funny how age brings a certain insight that makes you do a complete 180. in my younger years, i don't think i'd have eaten a vegetable unless it was on a hamburger but here i am at 286 pounds...one week into my life changing experience and so excited i can't stand myself. i've always been heavy..from that baby fat they prayed would go away to the extra pounds that had my mother wringing her hands and giving me diet pills for my ninth birthday...to the 328 pounds that sent me on an ana/mia bender for 2 years. i managed to reach 165 pounds before i ended up in the hospital but the weight always crept back on and my resolve tended towards, i'm always going to be fat. there's nothing i can do. i honestly don't know what happened a week ago but i thank God for whatever divine inspiration had me putting down the sweets and the sodas and picking up the fruits and veggies. I've watched my life spiral downward for over a decade and now that i'm on high blood pressure and have been placed on synthroid for an underactive thyroid, i've come to realize...my life is what i've made of it...no one made me eat whoppers and fries, no one held a gun to my head and made me go back for two or three more pieces of cake. i did this to myself. i made myself the victim because i'd start a diet and lose 5 pounds and then the scale would grind to a halt. naturally i'd give up and eat more to shut that voice up inside of my head that reminded me, i wasn't good enough as is...but the question is good enough for who? i'm sure many people can attest to trying to please everyone...trying to live up to the expectations of your parents, your friends.....being picked on, put down, treated as less than worthy of someone's attention and i know....i put a great deal more stock into what someone else thought of me than what i did. those days are over. this is my life and i chose how i live it. so this is my first act of defiance...my first so there to mr. perfect who didn't want anyone seeing him talking to the fat girl....and to my bff who loved me so much, until she decided it was more fun to humiliate me in public because she's afraid she'll gain all of her weight back. to them i say...so what. this is my life and i refuse to live down to your expectations. so hello everyone....i'm so glad i found you
