Hi everyone, I`m new here. I am feeling particularly frustrated because I have so much weight to lose, probably between 150 and 175 lbs. I have done so many different things to lose it, all with limited success. I know it can be done, but I feel very hopeless about it most of the time. I`m always hoping I can find the right thing to motivate me, but I also know it has to come from within. I just hope to meet some new people and maybe the motivation will somehow return. I look forward to reading the posts on this forum.
What to do when you have ALOT to lose???
- Thread starter toomie
- Start date
Boam46
New member
Hi Toomie,
Welcome to WLF. There are plenty of people here who are in the same situation as you or who have been through it. Looking through the boards you will find tons of advice. If you start a journal in the diary section we will be able to get to know you and you will be able to get to know some of us. We will also be a place for others to give you support and specific advice.
I look forward to seeing you around the boards.
~Jenna
Welcome to WLF. There are plenty of people here who are in the same situation as you or who have been through it. Looking through the boards you will find tons of advice. If you start a journal in the diary section we will be able to get to know you and you will be able to get to know some of us. We will also be a place for others to give you support and specific advice.
I look forward to seeing you around the boards.
~Jenna
MsGhettoBooty
New member
Hi there and welcome to the forum! 
First off, sit back and relax. Some times writing down goals and actually posting them really help. For instance, I sat down one day and started to write up reasons why I needed to change my lifestyle:
1. I lost my grandfather to a heart attack Feb '07.
2. My family background includes diabetes, heart conditions, cancer, kidney disease, fatty liver, etc etc etc.
3. I'd like to eventually have a baby, but there's no way I'm going to have my unborn child suffer from complications due to my weight. (I'm sure you get the point.. )
I took this list of "Pros to Changing my Lifestyle" and taped it next to my bed, so every morning I woke up, I would look it over and push myself to get out of bed. I even taped a picture of myself that I found to be dreadful (225 lbs) underneath the set of goals.
All in all, you're going to have to push yourself and decide whether you are ready or not. I know you can do it. Just remember, our condition (weight gain) didn't happen over night, so be patient with it and don't be so hard on yourself if you slip. Dust yourself off and get back out there.
-Sheryl
First off, sit back and relax. Some times writing down goals and actually posting them really help. For instance, I sat down one day and started to write up reasons why I needed to change my lifestyle:1. I lost my grandfather to a heart attack Feb '07.
2. My family background includes diabetes, heart conditions, cancer, kidney disease, fatty liver, etc etc etc.
3. I'd like to eventually have a baby, but there's no way I'm going to have my unborn child suffer from complications due to my weight. (I'm sure you get the point..
) I took this list of "Pros to Changing my Lifestyle" and taped it next to my bed, so every morning I woke up, I would look it over and push myself to get out of bed. I even taped a picture of myself that I found to be dreadful (225 lbs) underneath the set of goals.
All in all, you're going to have to push yourself and decide whether you are ready or not. I know you can do it. Just remember, our condition (weight gain) didn't happen over night, so be patient with it and don't be so hard on yourself if you slip.
Dust yourself off and get back out there.-Sheryl
When I started, I had 225ish to lose - that's not what i weighed but what I had to lose - a little over a year later - that number has dwindled to 55ish to lose...
what do you do? take it day by day... make sure you eat every day - and don't give up...
what do you do? take it day by day... make sure you eat every day - and don't give up...
JeremyRice
New member
step by step and DO WORK!
one of the biggest factors is to pick a plan you can live with the rest of your life - a 1200 calorie diet is not liveable - low carb isn't a long term solution - have everything - in moderation and work with a decent calorie range.
I started with 220 lbs to lose. I've lost over 60 lbs in just over 4 months and I'm doing it by changing my lifestyle. I exercise, eat right and continuously think about my long-term goals. It's what keeps me motivated and determined to lose the weight. Good luck, and welcome to the forum.
Thanks for your advice, everyone. And kudos to those of you who not only have managed to lose alot of weight but have kept it off.
About 8 years ago I managed to lose almost 70 lbs. I still needed to lose more, but I looked and felt better than I had in a long time. Of course, that all came back when I stopped doing the things that got me there and reverted back to my old ways.
Since I have hit my 40`s (I`m 41) I have discoverred I don`t lose weight as easily as I used to. I have heard many people say that.
Well, I`m off to read more on this forum, and to revise a game plan. Thanks again, everyone.
About 8 years ago I managed to lose almost 70 lbs. I still needed to lose more, but I looked and felt better than I had in a long time. Of course, that all came back when I stopped doing the things that got me there and reverted back to my old ways.
Since I have hit my 40`s (I`m 41) I have discoverred I don`t lose weight as easily as I used to. I have heard many people say that.
Well, I`m off to read more on this forum, and to revise a game plan. Thanks again, everyone.
stuco
New member
You do the same things that someone who needs to lose 200, 100, or 20 pounds. You get started. Start eating healthy balanced meals, exercise. Stick with it no matter what and you will lose the weight. My mother is 54 and she also has the idea that "I'm older now so it's harder for me to lose weight" but I watched her drop pounds on weight watchers just as fast as an 18year old last year. Even if there is the smallest bit of truth to that theory, it is a way overused and exagerrated excuse. Besides you're not that old. You don't know what you can do until you do it. Good luck and I'll look forward to your progress.
still.hurting
New member
..
You're right when you say that the motivation must come from within.
Ive been looking for the motivation to do this since I was 12, which is when I started getting obsese.
I am now almost 19, and realized that I have wasted six years of my life wishing and hoping for the fat to go away, when I could have taken action instead of being lazy and just wishing for it to happen magically. Ive wasted what are supposed to be "The best years of my life" being trapped in this fat suit that I couldnt find my way out of, and being very unhappy and insecure.
I have a lot of weight to lose as well.. 133lbs to be exact.
I know it can be very discouraging to think that its SO much to do, and it feels like it will take forever. Think about it though, the time shall finally come when you could have been to your goal weight.. Whether that time period is a year, or two, or three. The time will still eventually come whether you choose to be thin or the same as you are right now. So saying "It will take too long" isnt an option anymore because it will take JUST as long to get to that point after the few years, as it would to stay fat and unhappy with your body. I can say all this because I truly understand. I have been discouraged and have failed many times. I need to lose so much weight that it seems almost impossible, but I know its not.
The easy way to say it is: It took you years to gain it, so who cares if it takes years to lose it?
In a few years you can either gain more, or lose it all. So time isnt the problem here.. Its our will. It depends on how bad we want it.
You have people on this site that are incredibly supportive and helpful. It really helps to start a thread in the "weight loss diary" section so as you post your daily journey, people will be able to give you advice of what and what not to do. They are very encouraging, and thats what has gotten me past the hardest part. The hardest part is the first few weeks.. It does get easier. I still have 123 lbs to lose.. and I know I can do it, and I KNOW you can too.
The inspiration must come from within..like you said, but sometimes other people can find a way to bring it out of you.
You can do this, you can succeed. Just believe in yourself, and you'll fly.
You can talk to me ANY time, I have faith in you.
We can beat this together.
xo
You're right when you say that the motivation must come from within.
Ive been looking for the motivation to do this since I was 12, which is when I started getting obsese.
I am now almost 19, and realized that I have wasted six years of my life wishing and hoping for the fat to go away, when I could have taken action instead of being lazy and just wishing for it to happen magically. Ive wasted what are supposed to be "The best years of my life" being trapped in this fat suit that I couldnt find my way out of, and being very unhappy and insecure.
I have a lot of weight to lose as well.. 133lbs to be exact.
I know it can be very discouraging to think that its SO much to do, and it feels like it will take forever. Think about it though, the time shall finally come when you could have been to your goal weight.. Whether that time period is a year, or two, or three. The time will still eventually come whether you choose to be thin or the same as you are right now. So saying "It will take too long" isnt an option anymore because it will take JUST as long to get to that point after the few years, as it would to stay fat and unhappy with your body. I can say all this because I truly understand. I have been discouraged and have failed many times. I need to lose so much weight that it seems almost impossible, but I know its not.
The easy way to say it is: It took you years to gain it, so who cares if it takes years to lose it?
In a few years you can either gain more, or lose it all. So time isnt the problem here.. Its our will. It depends on how bad we want it.
You have people on this site that are incredibly supportive and helpful. It really helps to start a thread in the "weight loss diary" section so as you post your daily journey, people will be able to give you advice of what and what not to do. They are very encouraging, and thats what has gotten me past the hardest part. The hardest part is the first few weeks.. It does get easier. I still have 123 lbs to lose.. and I know I can do it, and I KNOW you can too.
The inspiration must come from within..like you said, but sometimes other people can find a way to bring it out of you.
You can do this, you can succeed. Just believe in yourself, and you'll fly.
You can talk to me ANY time, I have faith in you.
We can beat this together.
xo
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You've gotten some good advice in the thread! I think the most important thing for you to realize right now is this: Losing weight is physically easy, mentally tough.... as it seems you are realizing.
Losing weight physically means manipulating energy (calorie) balances in such a way that leads to the intended results. In your case, this means you will set up a "lifestyle" that leads to chronic energy deficits where you are burning more energy each and every day than you are intaking through food.
Physically, it really is that simple. I'd say the hardest part of this first part is finding what works for you. There is certainly more than one way to skin a cat.... but the best option is the one that you are going to be able to stick with forever.
Mentally, things aren't so simple. Each of us have different reasons for lack of motivation, falling off the wagon, etc.
I think the biggest thing that you should start with is controlling your perceptions. Part of this involves the concept of pain and pleasure. I've posted this elsewhere, but here is the basic idea:
I think this is very common actually. At least with the people I have dealt with in much more close settings. I have found many people, men and women, who have been big most of their lives.... and as much as they want the weight gone, they always find a way to sabotage their efforts. The generator of this sabotage, once we dig deep enough, always seems to be related to fear.
I am not sure if I have written about this in here or not, but we all act out based on 2 distinct factors.
1. Pain
2. Pleasure
We all have internal, mental scales that weigh each and every action that we will partake. If more pain is associated with that action, than pleasure, we are going to do our darnedest to avoid the action.
In this case, we speak of weight loss. It is important to note that these internal scales reside in our subconscious minds. Our subconscious minds are on auto-pilot. This is where habits are born too.
As much as we consciously want to transform our physiques, if our subconscious minds are not in line with this conscious thought process, you will continually sabotage your efforts.
One simple way to start changing these deeply buried "neural inputs" is to start consciously thinking about your pain/pleasure links. Doing this often enough will actually change your neural paths thus, establishing new habits and thought processes.
Deep down, you most likely associate pain to weight loss. You said so yourself, you fear that people will still look right past you and you will realize that it wasn't your weight all along, it was something more important. It was YOU.
That is enough pain (fear) to stop even the strongest I know in their tracks. Sure, you will lose some weight, but most who I encounter who are in this same boat go back and forth in their battles. Just when they start picking up momentum, which is crucial for weight loss, they sabotage their efforts.
The beauty of this is.
You have the unique ability to change which way your scale is tilted. Start focusing on linking a lot more pleasure to weight loss. And really focus on linking a lot of pain on not losing weight. I would even suggest writing things down. And read and re-read the list. Think about the list as often as possible.
Repetitive thought is a sure way of tapping into your subconscious mind.... something that is necessary if you are going to really change habits and internal, pre-programmed beliefs born from long ago.
Losing weight physically means manipulating energy (calorie) balances in such a way that leads to the intended results. In your case, this means you will set up a "lifestyle" that leads to chronic energy deficits where you are burning more energy each and every day than you are intaking through food.
Physically, it really is that simple. I'd say the hardest part of this first part is finding what works for you. There is certainly more than one way to skin a cat.... but the best option is the one that you are going to be able to stick with forever.
Mentally, things aren't so simple. Each of us have different reasons for lack of motivation, falling off the wagon, etc.
I think the biggest thing that you should start with is controlling your perceptions. Part of this involves the concept of pain and pleasure. I've posted this elsewhere, but here is the basic idea:
I think this is very common actually. At least with the people I have dealt with in much more close settings. I have found many people, men and women, who have been big most of their lives.... and as much as they want the weight gone, they always find a way to sabotage their efforts. The generator of this sabotage, once we dig deep enough, always seems to be related to fear.
I am not sure if I have written about this in here or not, but we all act out based on 2 distinct factors.
1. Pain
2. Pleasure
We all have internal, mental scales that weigh each and every action that we will partake. If more pain is associated with that action, than pleasure, we are going to do our darnedest to avoid the action.
In this case, we speak of weight loss. It is important to note that these internal scales reside in our subconscious minds. Our subconscious minds are on auto-pilot. This is where habits are born too.
As much as we consciously want to transform our physiques, if our subconscious minds are not in line with this conscious thought process, you will continually sabotage your efforts.
One simple way to start changing these deeply buried "neural inputs" is to start consciously thinking about your pain/pleasure links. Doing this often enough will actually change your neural paths thus, establishing new habits and thought processes.
Deep down, you most likely associate pain to weight loss. You said so yourself, you fear that people will still look right past you and you will realize that it wasn't your weight all along, it was something more important. It was YOU.
That is enough pain (fear) to stop even the strongest I know in their tracks. Sure, you will lose some weight, but most who I encounter who are in this same boat go back and forth in their battles. Just when they start picking up momentum, which is crucial for weight loss, they sabotage their efforts.
The beauty of this is.
You have the unique ability to change which way your scale is tilted. Start focusing on linking a lot more pleasure to weight loss. And really focus on linking a lot of pain on not losing weight. I would even suggest writing things down. And read and re-read the list. Think about the list as often as possible.
Repetitive thought is a sure way of tapping into your subconscious mind.... something that is necessary if you are going to really change habits and internal, pre-programmed beliefs born from long ago.
Great advice so far. I would only add that it is too overwhelming to think of your final destination. Just focus on 2 or 3 pounds at a time. Each time you lose a couple of pounds, even 1 pound is wonderful, know that you are strong and determined to change bad habits.
Habits are hard to change, but you can do it. Be patient and take it one day at a time. You are not alone!
Habits are hard to change, but you can do it. Be patient and take it one day at a time. You are not alone!
Exotic_Wind
New member
Wellcome! Having a lot to lose just means you'll have to be patient. Remember this is not a race, I hope and I know you'll find a lot of support here and your motivation. Step by step you'll do it! You CAN do it!
Beautiful1
New member
I have almost the exact same amount to lose as you!! WOW, it seems like so much! It makes me upset at myself for letting me get this way!
But you just can't be to down on yourself!
I have only started to change my life one weeek ago exactly, i have been doing pretty good, but it is soooo HArd! I just want to eat what i want to, and not think about it!
I just take it day by day now, and I have learned NOT to guilt myself and down myself if I fall a little, you know! you can do it, if you want to talk about this it would be wonderful as I am in need of support! I am doing this all alone, as we all pretty much are, but it is nice to hear how good your doing from someone who truly understands!
I* am welcoming any new friends here! More the marrier!
I have been exercising for 7 days nows and I feel much better! I know how you feel when you feel hopeless! It seems like we have so long and soo far to go! And it's going to be HARD, but keep the faith, you will accomplish, and those skinny jeans will be yours!!!! YAYAYAYAYA!!
But you just can't be to down on yourself!
I have only started to change my life one weeek ago exactly, i have been doing pretty good, but it is soooo HArd! I just want to eat what i want to, and not think about it!
I just take it day by day now, and I have learned NOT to guilt myself and down myself if I fall a little, you know! you can do it, if you want to talk about this it would be wonderful as I am in need of support! I am doing this all alone, as we all pretty much are, but it is nice to hear how good your doing from someone who truly understands!
I* am welcoming any new friends here! More the marrier!
I have been exercising for 7 days nows and I feel much better! I know how you feel when you feel hopeless! It seems like we have so long and soo far to go! And it's going to be HARD, but keep the faith, you will accomplish, and those skinny jeans will be yours!!!! YAYAYAYAYA!!
gettinskinny
New member
HI Toomie
I too know how frustrating it is. I think you just have to get to a point in your mind where your fed up. Just say "I'm sick of being this way" and that's what pushes you forward to motivate you to loose the weight.
You've got some great advice already I see.
Lets do this together.
I'm looking forward to hearing reports of your loss.
I too know how frustrating it is. I think you just have to get to a point in your mind where your fed up. Just say "I'm sick of being this way" and that's what pushes you forward to motivate you to loose the weight.
You've got some great advice already I see.
Lets do this together.
I'm looking forward to hearing reports of your loss.