Korrie
Moderator
We just held our first weekly chat!! Unfortunatly there wasn't a big turn out. We did have 3 members all together join the chat....Here is a dictation (yes it may be slightly edited)
[newbride02] 5:12 pm: Ok ladies, lets get started!
[Jennylynn] 5:13 pm: I have never done anything like this so I really don't know what
to do.
**
[newbride02] 5:13 pm: OK, i'll start w/ what I researched and you can just jump in
[newbride02] 5:14 pm: Ok, this weeks topic is about dealing w/ holiday stress
[newbride02] 5:14 pm: Here are some tips to help you deal with it...
[newbride02] 5:15 pm: The first thing you need to do, is figure out what it is
on your "to do" list for the holidays
[newbride02] 5:15 pm: this includes, baking, caroling, cleaning house, ect
[newbride02] 5:16 pm: go through your list and circle those things you love and those you dred
[newbride02] 5:16 pm: creating harmony is all about compromise
[Jennylynn] 5:17 pm: The thing with me there is no compromise. The "to do" list includes only me doing anything and that is what really stresses me out.
[newbride02] 5:17 pm: your saying you need more help?
[Jennylynn] 5:18 pm: Yes. I have no help.
[newbride02] 5:18 pm: This is the time for a little BARGAINING. If you love baking and shopping for presents but really don’t enjoy decorating the house, see if your spouse or kids have decorating marked as a priority on their lists. At the very least, you might find someone else who feels neutral about a chore that you completely despise!
The holidays are an excellent time to learn the fine art of NEGOTIATING!
[Trusylver] 5:19 pm: my biggest stress is having three boys at home all day
bored, then fighting then not being able to shif them of their arses away from the computers
[newbride02] 5:19 pm: jenny...have you ever talked to your hubby about this?
[Jennylynn] 5:19 pm: There have just been so many things with our every day life that I can't find the time for all the holiday "to do" things.
[Jennylynn] 5:20 pm: Yes, I have talked to him but it goes in one ear and out the other. I don't even have our tree up yet and the boys keep asking me when I am going to put it up.
[newbride02] 5:20 pm: aww...thats too bad...
[newbride02] 5:21 pm: maybe you should write down what needs done and really have a heart to heart w/ him
[Jennylynn] 5:21 pm: He travels with his job and I am here with my 6 year old and 4 year old during the week and all the responsibility. When hubby comes home he sits in front of the computer or watches tv.
[newbride02] 5:21 pm: Trusy..you need to find some creative ways to keep them occupied ****
[newbride02] 5:21 pm: I know, better said that done!
[newbride02] 5:22 pm: ah, gotcha, i have one of those too (compt. addicts)
[Trusylver] 5:22 pm: we have 14 acres of farm/bushland to run around on but they frefer the computer ****
***
[Jennylynn] 5:23 pm: Mine want me to play with them, games, ect.
[newbride02] 5:23 pm: i suppose this is a dumb question...but maybe you can hire some help? or get your mom to watch them for a bit so you have some time to get extra stuff done
[Jennylynn] 5:23 pm: I try to do it all but sometimes it is nearly impossible.
[newbride02] 5:24 pm: Let me throw in another tip for stress.....
[Trusylver] 5:24 pm: lol this morning was the firt time i have heard from mum in 6 months by e-mail, she lives in a different state and can't handle the boys at all
[Jennylynn] 5:24 pm: I don't have any family here. It is just little ole me... I did call my father in law the other day to ask if he could come move some furniture so I would at least have a place for the Christmas tree. Now it is just finding the time to put it up.
[newbride02] 5:25 pm: Unfortunately, many of us have turned the holiday season into just one more chore to be tackled. It’s as though the holidays have been transformed into an intensified “to-do list” -- baking, shopping, wrapping, visiting – no wonder the holidays stress people out so badly! But it doesn’t have to be that way --
it’s all about PERSPECTIVE.
[newbride02] 5:25 pm: Holiday tasks are the same way. At our house, we turn every holiday “chore” into a PARTY. We have a house decorating party, where we invite our friends to help out, put on some Christmas music, and give everyone spiked eggnog. We take our holiday cards to the local Starbucks and spend a very pleasant afternoon listening to carols, drinking hot cocoa, and chatting as we write out our holiday greetings. We even make gift-wrapping fun (my husband and I compete to see who can get their gifts wrapped
[newbride02] 5:25 pm: The point is, you can make anything FUN, if you create the right mood and the right frame of mind. So think about how you can put a cheery spin on at least one “chore” this year -- you might be surprised what a good time you have!
[newbride02] 5:27 pm: I only have one more "tip" for you, but lets discuss the above for a min.
[Jennylynn] 5:27 pm: I wish my life were like yours. And please believe me when I say I am not trying to sound negative... but I can never see anything like that happening in my household.
[newbride02] 5:27 pm: I compeletely agree w/ what is said! its all about attitude
[Jennylynn] 5:28 pm: And my husbands attitude stinks
[newbride02] 5:28 pm: I'm sorry jenny
[Jennylynn] 5:28 pm: He couldn't care less and it makes me feel bad for my children.
[Trusylver] 5:28 pm: I also struggle with the religiuos aspect of the holiday
season as a pagan dealing with the most unchristian of people being all rightious, this time of year for me is the summer solstice
[newbride02] 5:29 pm: your a pagan? what is that exactly
[Trusylver] 5:29 pm: i believe there is a supreme being with two aspects, that of god and godess
[Jennylynn] 5:29 pm: yeah, what is a pagan?
[Trusylver] 5:30 pm: i do not believe in the christian idea of god
[newbride02] 5:30 pm: intresting....so that makes this time of year hard for you
[newbride02] 5:31 pm: If I may interupt for a second....I'll add the last tip ...
[newbride02] 5:32 pm: In a world where we seem to think that perfection can be attained if we just work hard enough, we often feel a tremendous pressure to out do ourselves during the holidays.
[newbride02] 5:32 pm: This year, why not be a little bit REALISTIC about your holiday? Accept right from the start that things may not go perfectly -- and the harder you try to mold your holidays exactly as you had planned, the less likely they are to cooperate. And quite frankly, sometimes less is more.Instead of attending a different party full of strangers every night, whynot pick two or three gatherings where you will be surrounded by people you love?
[The Lounge]: Jennylynn has left at 5:32 pm
[newbride02] 5:32 pm: Maybe this year, it’s time to focus on the QUALITY of your experiences instead of the QUANTITY.
[newbride02] 5:33 pm: oops, we lost jenny
*[Trusylver] 5:34 pm: living out of town helps to keep some of the stress of the season down, and taking a good long walk helps to relieve stress
[newbride02] 5:34 pm: thats good ****
[newbride02] 5:34 pm: what other things do you do to relieve stress
[newbride02] 5:35 pm: I like to read, take a nice long bubble bath, or just play w/ the kids
[Trusylver] 5:35 pm: i also go to the gym to relive stress by taking it out on the weights
[newbride02] 5:35 pm: thats great
[newbride02] 5:36 pm: soooo....i guess thats the end of this weeks discussion....is there any tips, or anything you wanted to say for anyone who couldn't make it?
[newbride02] 5:37 pm: Next weeks discussion will be "Making Achievable
Resolutions"
[newbride02] 5:37 pm: Hopefully we will have a bigger turn out
*[Trusylver] 5:37 pm: just try to stay focused on the reasons for this time of year whatever your religion
[newbride02] 5:38 pm: thanks trusylver!
There you have it! Make sure you join us next week so you can be part of the fun!!
[newbride02] 5:12 pm: Ok ladies, lets get started!
[Jennylynn] 5:13 pm: I have never done anything like this so I really don't know what
to do.
**
[newbride02] 5:13 pm: OK, i'll start w/ what I researched and you can just jump in
[newbride02] 5:14 pm: Ok, this weeks topic is about dealing w/ holiday stress
[newbride02] 5:14 pm: Here are some tips to help you deal with it...
[newbride02] 5:15 pm: The first thing you need to do, is figure out what it is
on your "to do" list for the holidays
[newbride02] 5:15 pm: this includes, baking, caroling, cleaning house, ect
[newbride02] 5:16 pm: go through your list and circle those things you love and those you dred
[newbride02] 5:16 pm: creating harmony is all about compromise
[Jennylynn] 5:17 pm: The thing with me there is no compromise. The "to do" list includes only me doing anything and that is what really stresses me out.
[newbride02] 5:17 pm: your saying you need more help?
[Jennylynn] 5:18 pm: Yes. I have no help.
[newbride02] 5:18 pm: This is the time for a little BARGAINING. If you love baking and shopping for presents but really don’t enjoy decorating the house, see if your spouse or kids have decorating marked as a priority on their lists. At the very least, you might find someone else who feels neutral about a chore that you completely despise!
The holidays are an excellent time to learn the fine art of NEGOTIATING!
[Trusylver] 5:19 pm: my biggest stress is having three boys at home all day
bored, then fighting then not being able to shif them of their arses away from the computers
[newbride02] 5:19 pm: jenny...have you ever talked to your hubby about this?
[Jennylynn] 5:19 pm: There have just been so many things with our every day life that I can't find the time for all the holiday "to do" things.
[Jennylynn] 5:20 pm: Yes, I have talked to him but it goes in one ear and out the other. I don't even have our tree up yet and the boys keep asking me when I am going to put it up.
[newbride02] 5:20 pm: aww...thats too bad...
[newbride02] 5:21 pm: maybe you should write down what needs done and really have a heart to heart w/ him
[Jennylynn] 5:21 pm: He travels with his job and I am here with my 6 year old and 4 year old during the week and all the responsibility. When hubby comes home he sits in front of the computer or watches tv.
[newbride02] 5:21 pm: Trusy..you need to find some creative ways to keep them occupied ****
[newbride02] 5:21 pm: I know, better said that done!
[newbride02] 5:22 pm: ah, gotcha, i have one of those too (compt. addicts)
[Trusylver] 5:22 pm: we have 14 acres of farm/bushland to run around on but they frefer the computer ****
***
[Jennylynn] 5:23 pm: Mine want me to play with them, games, ect.
[newbride02] 5:23 pm: i suppose this is a dumb question...but maybe you can hire some help? or get your mom to watch them for a bit so you have some time to get extra stuff done
[Jennylynn] 5:23 pm: I try to do it all but sometimes it is nearly impossible.
[newbride02] 5:24 pm: Let me throw in another tip for stress.....
[Trusylver] 5:24 pm: lol this morning was the firt time i have heard from mum in 6 months by e-mail, she lives in a different state and can't handle the boys at all
[Jennylynn] 5:24 pm: I don't have any family here. It is just little ole me... I did call my father in law the other day to ask if he could come move some furniture so I would at least have a place for the Christmas tree. Now it is just finding the time to put it up.
[newbride02] 5:25 pm: Unfortunately, many of us have turned the holiday season into just one more chore to be tackled. It’s as though the holidays have been transformed into an intensified “to-do list” -- baking, shopping, wrapping, visiting – no wonder the holidays stress people out so badly! But it doesn’t have to be that way --
it’s all about PERSPECTIVE.
[newbride02] 5:25 pm: Holiday tasks are the same way. At our house, we turn every holiday “chore” into a PARTY. We have a house decorating party, where we invite our friends to help out, put on some Christmas music, and give everyone spiked eggnog. We take our holiday cards to the local Starbucks and spend a very pleasant afternoon listening to carols, drinking hot cocoa, and chatting as we write out our holiday greetings. We even make gift-wrapping fun (my husband and I compete to see who can get their gifts wrapped
[newbride02] 5:25 pm: The point is, you can make anything FUN, if you create the right mood and the right frame of mind. So think about how you can put a cheery spin on at least one “chore” this year -- you might be surprised what a good time you have!
[newbride02] 5:27 pm: I only have one more "tip" for you, but lets discuss the above for a min.
[Jennylynn] 5:27 pm: I wish my life were like yours. And please believe me when I say I am not trying to sound negative... but I can never see anything like that happening in my household.
[newbride02] 5:27 pm: I compeletely agree w/ what is said! its all about attitude
[Jennylynn] 5:28 pm: And my husbands attitude stinks
[newbride02] 5:28 pm: I'm sorry jenny
[Jennylynn] 5:28 pm: He couldn't care less and it makes me feel bad for my children.
[Trusylver] 5:28 pm: I also struggle with the religiuos aspect of the holiday
season as a pagan dealing with the most unchristian of people being all rightious, this time of year for me is the summer solstice
[newbride02] 5:29 pm: your a pagan? what is that exactly
[Trusylver] 5:29 pm: i believe there is a supreme being with two aspects, that of god and godess
[Jennylynn] 5:29 pm: yeah, what is a pagan?
[Trusylver] 5:30 pm: i do not believe in the christian idea of god
[newbride02] 5:30 pm: intresting....so that makes this time of year hard for you
[newbride02] 5:31 pm: If I may interupt for a second....I'll add the last tip ...
[newbride02] 5:32 pm: In a world where we seem to think that perfection can be attained if we just work hard enough, we often feel a tremendous pressure to out do ourselves during the holidays.
[newbride02] 5:32 pm: This year, why not be a little bit REALISTIC about your holiday? Accept right from the start that things may not go perfectly -- and the harder you try to mold your holidays exactly as you had planned, the less likely they are to cooperate. And quite frankly, sometimes less is more.Instead of attending a different party full of strangers every night, whynot pick two or three gatherings where you will be surrounded by people you love?
[The Lounge]: Jennylynn has left at 5:32 pm
[newbride02] 5:32 pm: Maybe this year, it’s time to focus on the QUALITY of your experiences instead of the QUANTITY.
[newbride02] 5:33 pm: oops, we lost jenny
*[Trusylver] 5:34 pm: living out of town helps to keep some of the stress of the season down, and taking a good long walk helps to relieve stress
[newbride02] 5:34 pm: thats good ****
[newbride02] 5:34 pm: what other things do you do to relieve stress
[newbride02] 5:35 pm: I like to read, take a nice long bubble bath, or just play w/ the kids
[Trusylver] 5:35 pm: i also go to the gym to relive stress by taking it out on the weights
[newbride02] 5:35 pm: thats great
[newbride02] 5:36 pm: soooo....i guess thats the end of this weeks discussion....is there any tips, or anything you wanted to say for anyone who couldn't make it?
[newbride02] 5:37 pm: Next weeks discussion will be "Making Achievable
Resolutions"
[newbride02] 5:37 pm: Hopefully we will have a bigger turn out
*[Trusylver] 5:37 pm: just try to stay focused on the reasons for this time of year whatever your religion
[newbride02] 5:38 pm: thanks trusylver!
There you have it! Make sure you join us next week so you can be part of the fun!!
