--What is your current height and weight?
5'9" 240 lbs
--If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
150-160, don't want to be too skinny.. gotta keep some curves!
--At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
If i could break 200 I would be ecstatic! My birthday on June 23 and that is the present I want!
--Why do you want to lose weight?
The list is long... I have to admit that my self image and confidence is higher on the list than health.. I feel like people, even my family and friends who love me, see the fat girl first, and who I am second... I hate that more than anything.. I feel defined by my weight, like I am pigeon-holed into some stereo-type or something automatically... alienated from "normal people"
--Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event?
No, although I have been in touch with some friends from high school lately, and even though I would love to see them, if I was given the chance today, I wouldn't.. I would be too embarrassed even though I am proud of who I am as an individual... How can I be so proud of myself and so ashamed at the same time?
--What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
I am a chef, so I am around good food all the time... Historically I work late, party hard, eat late, and eat a lot at usually the only meal of the day...Breaking that routine is gonna be so tough, cause I like everything about it except for the results it has for me...
--Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
Struggled with it most of my life.. I wasn't a fat kid, but my dad's side of the family were all huge, and my mom's side of the family were swizzle sticks.. My grandmother tortured me with exercise every time I was there and sent me "husky kid" clothes for Christmas.. even though I wasn't overweight, it ingrained in me that that was what I was seen as, and it was something to be ashamed of...
--Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
Y
es, a few times... maintenance is essential.. this last 60 crept on so slow I barely noticed it, then the other day I looked in the mirror and asked "who the hell is that???"
--Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
Lack of routine... so busy I just jammed anything in my mouth I could get ahold of... lots of drinking... and that leads to a hunger that makes you eat anything in sight, and things you normally would never eat...
--What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
I HATE exercise! I am so tired from work all I want to do is sit when I am at home... How do you learn to like it when you are so tired all the time.. gives me headaches too...
--Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
Yes.. I am doing that now...
--Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
Cook for work, and cook at home... focusing on more fruits and vegetables now...
--How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
Not often.. Just to splurge on a margherita pizza from this great Italian place near by... sushi... and cheesburgers from this little burger joint we like.. Taco trucks are always good too...
--What are your three favorite foods?
Just 3? An easier question would be what foods don't you like?
--What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
Smaller portions, less meat, less carbs 
--If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
I think I would be truly happy... isn't that insane?
--Do you eat when you are not hungry?
Yes... I have depression issues, and a big bowl of spaghetti just seems to make everything ok for a while...
--Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
No... just too big of portions... stomach says eat until in coma...
--Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
I don't like to eat out much, because I feel like everyone is watching to see how much or what I am having...
--Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
Oh Ya!
--Do you eat as a reward?
Yes
--Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
*sigh* most of the time...
--What do you normally eat for a meal?
I eat pretty healthy all things considered, just too much, and drink way too much!
--What type of snacks do you eat?
I love cheese!
--In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
Walking and wii... kayak sometimes...
--Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
Home, the beach and some trails nearby...
--What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
HATE!
--What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
Taking it one day at a time! I just want to get my confidence back for myself, for my relationship, for the cute clothes I have in storage...
--Do you have rewards for certain goals?
If I do well for a few days, I will have something to eat that I really like... it's heaven...
I know that it is just water weight from my flush yesterday, but this is what I needed to get up and get out on my walk this morning despite being tired... Geez it sucks when your entire day's mood revolves around what the scale says... How to change that? Don't know... it is so ingrained in me from childhood that I don't know if it will... Banana for breaky and off for a walk... another beautiful day helps the mood too... need that vitamin D!
I have always been an hourglass... Guess it got filled up with too many Maragaritas...
hmmmm... hungry!!! YUMMM! A protien shake? really? that's exactly what I wanted to eat today! Thanks! *sigh* YICK!
I know it will just take a bit to fine tune what I need to be doing...