Turning 40 in 7 wks! Ahhh!!!

Hey, just joined up! I stumbled on this site as I was Googling about one of my physical attributes to find a solution and was happy to find out I am not the only one!

I'm a 5'7" female about to turn 40yrs old and of course milestone events like this force you to take a good hard look at things. I'm not ecstatic about my body, but I don't hate it as much as I did when I was in my 30s, guess I'm just more comfortable in my skin now.

The number on the scale says 155lbs, though people are shocked when I tell them (don't tell many!). My ideal weight would be 145lbs, because I'd like to be realistic. Based on my bone structure, I know I will never be a size 0... WTH is that anyways??? I think with refining my diet I could lose a good 5lbs. Thinking of taking out sugar, dairy, and bread to start as I know I indulge too much. But I have specific areas I want to work on so looking for some advice on the best exercises that I can easily do myself.... Gyms have proven to be a waste of money for me, and I can't afford a PT so it has to be things I can do at home or outside.

I have an uneven butt. :( This is what I was googling. The right cheek is lower than the other, and overall it does not have the shape it once did. I'm thinking instead of focusing on working one side over the other I want to just work the whole thing and hope it evens out or at least is less noticeable with better shape. I used to have a J-Lo butt and now it looks like a "mom" butt (not a mom though). Squats the best way to build a shapely butt? If so, can someone post a link to the proper way to do them?

My stomach. The smallest part of my stomach is across my belly button. Anyone else have this?? It's almost like an indent compared to what's above and below, almost like I spent my life wearing really high waisted tight pants that gave me an indent. I have noticed a difference below my belly button with dieting and cardio type exercise, but I have never been able to get the top bulge down. Crunches seem to just work the lower abs, is there anything I can do to get the top part down?

Those are the two areas I really want to get a noticeable change with asap. I have finally lost a lot around my thighs and they have really toned up just from walking a lot more with my dog, we moved to an area where every sidewalk seems to be going uphill, lol!

Anyways, any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated and no, I do not expect to have these resolved in 7wks though it would be nice to see a significant change before I hit the big 4-0!! TIA :)
 
BTW - re the uneven butt, I am pretty sure this may be a structural thing. An RMT told me my hips were uneven, one tighter than the other.... so would exercise even fix the appearance??
 
Thinking of taking out sugar, dairy, and bread to start as I know I indulge too much.
I don't recommend cutting out sugar, but I do recommend replacing refined sugar and foods like cookies and ice cream with fruit. I really don't recommend cutting out dairy if you're not intolerant or allergic to it. Calcium's kind of important for bone health, and being a female automatically predisposes you to osteoporosis. Good nutrition and weight-bearing activity counters this. Bread isn't evil, either, although multigrain trumps white, for sure. In general, just modify your diet to be more balanced, and you'll probably find that eating to the same level of satiety as you currently eat results in you consuming more nutrients and less energy.

WRT your hips being uneven, that could certainly be relevant. Is it just that the muscles on one side are tighter than the other, or are there issues with the actual form of your pelvis? If your muscles are tighter on one side, the short answer is to stretch them accordingly, and perhaps do something like foam rolling if it helps.

I think glute bridges and hip thrusts are better than squats for the glutes, but doing both would be better still.

Here's a glute bridge demonstration video with technique points:

Key point is to actively hyperextend your hips with your glutes. Hip thrusts are basically the same exercise, just with your shoulders up on a bench. Something I'd add to the points in the video is to push your knees out and try to pull the floor apart with your feet (your feet shouldn't be sliding sideways, though). Doing this will activate more of your glutes.

I couldn't find a squat technique video that I'm happy to share with you, so instead here's a write-up I did earlier this year. I hope it's clear enough for you to follow.


As for your stomach, you can't spot reduce fat. I think you're describing roughly the same way fat is distributed across my belly. I also tend to have much thicker abdominal musculature above my belly button than below, and in almost a decade of training nothing seems to have made that proportion change. For a long time I basically felt like I failed at life because of it...eventually I just stopped worrying about it. Maybe not the advice you wanted to hear.
 
Thanks for such an amazing reply!

Sorry, should have clarified re the diet. By sugar I meant items that contain sugar, I currently use brown sugar for things like coffee and don't add sugar to anything else. For dairy, I am actually lactose intolerant so I don't drink milk, I may add a little to coffee, but I can't even have a bowl of cereal with milk. I do take a calcium supplement. So cutting out dairy was more so cheeses, huge cheddar cheese junkie. For bread I do the multi-grain, haven't had white bread in ages, but my weakness bread-wise is bagels!

Re my hips, I'm thinking the RMT was referring to just one side being tighter than the other. As for my stomach, perhaps if I can get some toning/definition to the area above my belly button I wouldn't mind so much!
 
Uneven hips shouldn't be too much of a barrier if you are sensible. Unless doctors have specifically said otherwise training can help here.
I am a few weeks closer to 40 than you are, it's not a big deal, just another day. I am actually looking forward to it as will be on holiday with family and that is great.

Regarding the uneven hips I would place a small wager mine will have been a bit worse than yours a good few years ago. In my rather stupid youth I was heavily into dangerous sports, predominantly free climbing. One fall left me looking at a landing spot too far down to make safely, so I needed to make a failed landing to slow me down and this was going to mess up my legs or back, I chose legs as back could wipe out legs anyway. When I woke up a few days later the doctors were kind enough to show me the xrays of one hip forced out to the side, the other out the back. These had been reset, but hips don't just slot back in nicely.
Long term the affect is still there, at the start of every squat movement there is a slight movement to one side then the other as the hips go through the damaged spots. I can however still squat, run, have done a few forms of dance and various other stupid things and will continue to do so until my only exercise is pushing daisies.

The biggest mistake many make when trying to get rid of uneven body shape is uneven training. The logic that working one side more to help it catch up seems like a no brainer, it is but not in a good way.
You need to get your body working evenly to make it even. This means ensuring your squats, bridges etc are totally even and linear, not easy when your hips don't want to play that way. Obviously make this a part of an all over body program to get everything you want.
If you find yourself squating to one side when using a wieght or bodyweight alone, hold onto a bar or doorway to get support needed. There is no defeat in doing remedial work, only refusal to accept training at a level you can manage safely, trust me it's defeated me many times.
Some of the stuff I did was
'Long step lunges' beside a wall, the name looks impressive until you realise the long step was smaller than most peoples normal, and lunge was both knees coming off lock at first. Even with this level of pathetic the wall still saved me a number of times.
Assisted squats, which often ment taking more weight on arms than legs at first.
Side steps with weight transfer. Exactly as pathetic as it reads.

The chances are you will not need to do work that basic but be prepared too if it is the only thing you can do evenly and safely. You will likely improve fast and be looking back at them as dim and distant memory soon enough.

If it is just a tension issue you need to get some gentle static stretches in at the end of every workout, nothing remotely ballistic, These will usually involve sitting and relaxing forward over bent legs, or bringing one leg over the other, placing the foot on the ground and having a nice hug with your knee, look for videos of glute stretches. Because many of them also stretch your back they will not only help relieving excess tension in your glutes, they will make you feel nicely relaxed too. Endorphins and relaxation, if you can't figure out why those of us into heavy work followed by stretches look so happy and contented at the end, your 40 years have been very sheltered.

Diet wise keep it simple. Our bodies haven't changed much in a long time so what worked a million years ago still works now, high complex carb food, potato, rice, pasta and even the dreaded bread everyone seems so down on, sensible veggies and fruit, should be the next largest part by volume, moderate on the meat, fish and dairy, especially dairy in your case, very low on additives, oil, processed dairy (butter etc.), sauces and my weakness sugary foods like sweets and treats.
If you are needing to use clacium supplements be sure they are taken with food and accompanied by vitamin D. Neither are absorbed in the water based foods so unless there is a bit of fat in your stomach you will absorb virtually none of it. this is where people popping amulti vit with a glass of water and nothing else have totally missed the point.

Enjoy your training, and enjoy being 40.
 
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