Tricking “My” Addict
In the beginning of my journey, I thought I was fighting myself, and I had to stop myself from wanting to eat everything that was not locked away. Then I realized that I was not fighting myself, what I was fighting was the food addict in me. I really wanted to be Thin and Serene and not spend every waking hour thinking about food. I was letting my addict rob me of everything that “could” have been precious to me... my health, my family and my life.
Activity I did: Listed as many things as I could think of that my addict has kept me from doing, made not happen or taken away from me.
At first, I even felt sorry for my addict because, I thought, she felt she would die if she did not eat, eat, and eat. Then I started wondering why I was feeling sorry for my addict (which I choose to call her) when what she wanted was for me to suffer and ultimately die. Believe me, if I had continued the way I was, that’s what would have happened.
Activity I did- Wrote about what my addict wants for me.
I spent the first 33 years of my life being tricked by that addict, at 33 I learned I could trick her back. That was the point when things started turning around. One of my addict’s biggest trick, that I fell for repeatedly, was, “that I could eat just one”. I fell for that one again and again and again. I would no sooner be getting over my last binge: which always started with me thinking “that I could have just one. When as soon as my stomach started emptying out, I would fall for it again.
This truly went on from about the age 7 to 33. When I realized that with the foods that l loved that loved me back; One was too many and a million was not enough. (I wrote about these food in my “My Truth” share.
Activity I did- Made a poster saying:
One is Too Many and……..
A Million will never be enough!!
And put it up where I could see it often.
Another reason I believe I have been successful in losing my weight and keeping it off these 7300+ days or 20 years is because I refuse to give up.I find that when I feel like giving up it's usually in the evening. . Having learned this, I can then counter those thoughts, knowing I'm not really thinking them my addict is. Thus, one of the rules I have is any decisions to give up can only be made in the morning. I don't think I have even once wanted to give up in the morning.
This is another way I trick my addict she thinks if she keeps on me, I will give up but the joke is on her because I will
Never
Never
Never
Give up!!
In the beginning of my journey, my hardest time not to eat use to be evenings. That's the time that my food addict was the strongest and made part, if not all of my decisions. My addict had me tricked into believing that I would die, I mean really die, if I went without food from the end of dinner to breakfast the next morning. Now I knew in my rational mind that many “normal” eaters did this and did not die. But her control over me, especially in the evenings, was so complete I truly thought I would die.
How I turned the tables and started tricking her was: one even some how I made it through the evening without eating. (I think I went to bed at 5:05 that night) and realize not only would I not die…… But in the morning I had no desire to eat what ever my addict wanted my to eat the night before. What a revelation that was. If I could just make it through the after dinner hours, even if in the beginning had to go to bed at 2 minutes after dinner, in the morning, miracle of miracles I did not want to eat. I was on my way to becoming Thin and Serene.
This little “aha” put me in the drivers seat. From this point forward when ever she would try to talk me into eating in the evening I would just say “you can have it in the morning”. Some evening I had to tell my addict this over and over again to get us to morning. And every morning the joke was on her because I was in control and only wanted to eat healthy good for me food. I have been deceiving her with this trick for 7,296 days, or 20 years on July 8. And it all started with 1 day.
Having fun in recovery
Ravae
excerpt from my battlilnlg food addiction auto biography
Thin and Serene: My Way of Life
In the beginning of my journey, I thought I was fighting myself, and I had to stop myself from wanting to eat everything that was not locked away. Then I realized that I was not fighting myself, what I was fighting was the food addict in me. I really wanted to be Thin and Serene and not spend every waking hour thinking about food. I was letting my addict rob me of everything that “could” have been precious to me... my health, my family and my life.
Activity I did: Listed as many things as I could think of that my addict has kept me from doing, made not happen or taken away from me.
At first, I even felt sorry for my addict because, I thought, she felt she would die if she did not eat, eat, and eat. Then I started wondering why I was feeling sorry for my addict (which I choose to call her) when what she wanted was for me to suffer and ultimately die. Believe me, if I had continued the way I was, that’s what would have happened.
Activity I did- Wrote about what my addict wants for me.
I spent the first 33 years of my life being tricked by that addict, at 33 I learned I could trick her back. That was the point when things started turning around. One of my addict’s biggest trick, that I fell for repeatedly, was, “that I could eat just one”. I fell for that one again and again and again. I would no sooner be getting over my last binge: which always started with me thinking “that I could have just one. When as soon as my stomach started emptying out, I would fall for it again.
This truly went on from about the age 7 to 33. When I realized that with the foods that l loved that loved me back; One was too many and a million was not enough. (I wrote about these food in my “My Truth” share.
Activity I did- Made a poster saying:
One is Too Many and……..
A Million will never be enough!!
And put it up where I could see it often.
Another reason I believe I have been successful in losing my weight and keeping it off these 7300+ days or 20 years is because I refuse to give up.I find that when I feel like giving up it's usually in the evening. . Having learned this, I can then counter those thoughts, knowing I'm not really thinking them my addict is. Thus, one of the rules I have is any decisions to give up can only be made in the morning. I don't think I have even once wanted to give up in the morning.
This is another way I trick my addict she thinks if she keeps on me, I will give up but the joke is on her because I will
Never
Never
Never
Give up!!
In the beginning of my journey, my hardest time not to eat use to be evenings. That's the time that my food addict was the strongest and made part, if not all of my decisions. My addict had me tricked into believing that I would die, I mean really die, if I went without food from the end of dinner to breakfast the next morning. Now I knew in my rational mind that many “normal” eaters did this and did not die. But her control over me, especially in the evenings, was so complete I truly thought I would die.
How I turned the tables and started tricking her was: one even some how I made it through the evening without eating. (I think I went to bed at 5:05 that night) and realize not only would I not die…… But in the morning I had no desire to eat what ever my addict wanted my to eat the night before. What a revelation that was. If I could just make it through the after dinner hours, even if in the beginning had to go to bed at 2 minutes after dinner, in the morning, miracle of miracles I did not want to eat. I was on my way to becoming Thin and Serene.
This little “aha” put me in the drivers seat. From this point forward when ever she would try to talk me into eating in the evening I would just say “you can have it in the morning”. Some evening I had to tell my addict this over and over again to get us to morning. And every morning the joke was on her because I was in control and only wanted to eat healthy good for me food. I have been deceiving her with this trick for 7,296 days, or 20 years on July 8. And it all started with 1 day.
Having fun in recovery
Ravae
excerpt from my battlilnlg food addiction auto biography
Thin and Serene: My Way of Life