Too much food Vs not enough. Too curvy Vs too skinny. I can't find the balance!

[Aphelion]

Hello everyone, my name I Charlotte and I am new to this forum. I'm here because I'm struggling to find a balance in my life with food and my weight. In the beginning of 2010 I was, for me personally, unhealthily thin. (I am in the Uk so excuse my use of stones and pounds for weight and Uk dress sizes!) I weighed around 8 stone, 112 pounds, and fit a size 6/8 uk my natural weight has always been 9 stone to 9 and 1/2 stone (size 8/10 uk) and I was not well at 8 stone. I had lost weight due to depression and short term use of anti-depressants and anemic due to lack of appetite and was put on different anti-depressants before settling on paxil for around 8 months which made me go from 8 stone to 11 stone (155 pounds?) in a year and a half.
I was eating like a crazy woman! like there was a hole that could not be filled, due to the medication which also slowed down my metabolism, I was also on iron supplements 3 times a day for my anemia. I ate large tubs of ben and jerrys almost every day, takeaways for breakfast and lunch and dinner, you name it, I ate it.
I have been off of the anti depressants for a year now, finally have a stable job and in the last 6 months have gone from 11 stone to 9 stone and 13 pounds without trying. Everyone has been commenting on my weight loss. Its a positive thing but I have realized that I may not be eating enough, I always lack energy and am starting to feel tired all the time again, especially after walking up stairs. I feel like Ive gone back to the complete opposite in a negative way. My eating habits are as follows:

I starve all day and binge at night time as I have no regular sleeping pattern.
I get up for work in the morning, don't eat breakfast, leave for work at 10am, start work at 12:30 and get home at 7pm. I eat a regular healthy dinner around 8, (my first meal of the day) then snack on yoghurts and cereal into the night.
When working a full day sometimes I wont eat anything until 12am when I get home at night or Ill eat a wrap/sandwich for lunch with prawns in.
When I am with my boyfriend I starve all day usually (just dont think to eat or Im sleeping in/spending time with him) then snack on sweets, chocolate and he mostly orders us take away pizza for dinner and thats what Ill eat with him. My appetite has dropped dramatically and I could easily go without food until I start to shake or get hunger pains or very hungry. I feel a sense of achievement if I dont eat all day and guilty when I snack or binge.

The only part of my body that I like is my butt because its very curvy and Im terrified that I will lose my shapely butt if I lose weight?
But I am terrified that if I make myself eat regularly I will start gaining weight again and that my stomach wont ever go flat?

I'm not sure I have the knowledge of how to lose weight healthily or of how the weight will come off and am scared of my body changing in a bad way with weight loss or gain! so I keep not thinking about it and I don't think my lifestyle is healthy?

 

[CrazyOldMan]

Balance in diet is not easy without going right back to basics, and that is harder than it seems in today's world.
I am UK as well so know that walking into a supermarket is a barrage of complex prepared foods and so called healthy options that advertise low fat and neglect to mention the high sugar content, I even saw this on flying saucer sweets.
Knowing how much energy you are using is almost impossible for the uninitiated, and still difficult for those well trained. This means you will find your balance by getting it wrong a few times and adjusting, sorry, but that's the truth.
Check out the food pyramid which google will bring up for you and try to follow that. Doing so will mean buying food in its basic form to be sure you are eating what you think you are. To give an idea of how this can be messed up I bought some 'healthy' dried cranberries, that turned out to be 61% cranberries and the rest was sugar and sunflower oil, so be careful.
The first part will be to eat roughly the amount you are now but in balance. This will mean you aren't eating enough but mean you can increase gradually and safely a bit at a time.
You will continue this until your weight is either stabilising or increasing if you decide you want to get bigger. Then just fine tune.

If you like curves, I would advise training, especially resistance work to build muscle to a level you are happy with. Your curves will either be fat or muscle and toned curves are generally more appealing, obviously your opinion should over-rule mine here.

Training is great for depression or aggression issues. There is something very therapeutic about shifting lumps of metal and imagining the harm you could be causing those who have upset you by doing so, and there is a great rush of endorphins at the end too which just add to the deal.

 

[Aphelion]

Balance in diet is not easy without going right back to basics, and that is harder than it seems in today's world.
I am UK as well so know that walking into a supermarket is a barrage of complex prepared foods and so called healthy options that advertise low fat and neglect to mention the high sugar content, I even saw this on flying saucer sweets.
Knowing how much energy you are using is almost impossible for the uninitiated, and still difficult for those well trained. This means you will find your balance by getting it wrong a few times and adjusting, sorry, but that's the truth.
Check out the food pyramid which google will bring up for you and try to follow that. Doing so will mean buying food in its basic form to be sure you are eating what you think you are. To give an idea of how this can be messed up I bought some 'healthy' dried cranberries, that turned out to be 61% cranberries and the rest was sugar and sunflower oil, so be careful.
The first part will be to eat roughly the amount you are now but in balance. This will mean you aren't eating enough but mean you can increase gradually and safely a bit at a time.
You will continue this until your weight is either stabilising or increasing if you decide you want to get bigger. Then just fine tune.

If you like curves, I would advise training, especially resistance work to build muscle to a level you are happy with. Your curves will either be fat or muscle and toned curves are generally more appealing, obviously your opinion should over-rule mine here.

Training is great for depression or aggression issues. There is something very therapeutic about shifting lumps of metal and imagining the harm you could be causing those who have upset you by doing so, and there is a great rush of endorphins at the end too which just add to the deal.

Thank you so much for your answer and advice!

 

[Albert Smith]

Healthy eating is about more than the food on your plate—it is also about how you think about food. Healthy eating habits can be learned and it is important to slow down and think about food as nourishment rather than just something to gulp down in between meetings or on the way to pick up the kids. Just follow couple of my advice:

• Eat with others whenever possible. Eating with other people has numerous social and emotional benefits—particularly for children—and allows you to model healthy eating habits. Eating in front of the TV or computer often leads to mindless overeating.

• Take time to chew your food and enjoy mealtimes. Chew your food slowly, savoring every bite. We tend to rush though our meals, forgetting to actually taste the flavors and feel the textures of our food. Reconnect with the joy of eating.

• Listen to your body. Ask yourself if you are really hungry, or have a glass of water to see if you are thirsty instead of hungry. During a meal, stop eating before you feel full. It actually takes a few minutes for your brain to tell your body that it has had enough food, so eat slowly.

• Eat breakfast, and eat smaller meals throughout the day. A healthy breakfast can jumpstart your metabolism, and eating small, healthy meals throughout the day (rather than the standard three large meals) keeps your energy up and your metabolism going.

• Avoid eating at night. Try to eat dinner earlier in the day and then fast for 14-16 hours until breakfast the next morning. Early studies suggest that this simple dietary adjustment—eating only when you’re most active and giving your digestive system a long break each day—may help to regulate weight. After-dinner snacks tend to be high in fat and calories so are best avoided, anyway.

Hope so it would help you.