Tired of living in the fat shell

I have to say ive been lurking on the boards for a while now and have read some pretty inspiring stories but have not posted a whole lot.

Ive decided to start this diary to have something to come to every day and hopefully keep me accountable.

I am 36 years old and a mother to 2 teenage girls and am engaged to the most amazing and sexy man I know. We are getting married in July 2012.

I think I have finally hit my rock bottom with how i feel about my weight and my body image. I dont think i have ever really been happy about my weight and that I think stems from early childhood because my father started teasing me at a very early age about my weight. I remember being around 8 years old and toothpick thin and my father telling me i had bologna legs at 8 i never asked what he meant but bologna legs sounded fat to me i dont know how else he could have meant it. As a teenager my brothers would tease me and well my mom has always compared herself to me. To this day she tells me i need to lose weight and compares her body parts to mine. She says my arms and legs are bigger than hers and while i do know this isnt true( she is 5 foot and over 200lbs) i dont say anything to her and just let it be.

I want to lose this weight for me and to make me feel better about what i see on the outside because i already feel good about what is on the inside.

I want to be able to feel comfortable in a pair of shorts or a bathing suit. I have not worn either since before i had children.

This is so not me( because i am embarrassed of my body) but im going to post pics on here so i can look back and see how far ive come and how much further i would like to go.
 
so ive also decided i am going to do my measurements monthly and my weigh ins weekly and post a weekly goal as well.

weight is 192.6 lbs

chest 38"
waist just above belly button 36"
Hips 44 1/2"
Rt thigh 24"
Lt thigh 24 1/2"
Right Bicep 14 1/2 "
Left Bicep 14 1/2"

My goal for the week is to drink between 6-8 glasses of water
 
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