wallflowerchild
New member
Hello! My name is Tiara.
This forum diary thing is a really good idea, I'm glad I found this site
I had already started journaling so that's why the first post is a bit long, I just moved it all here.
Numbers and whatnot:
19 years old. Female. 5 feet and 6 inches tall, pear shaped, about 145 pounds.
The little problem is that I don't know my exact weight and wont be able to track it anyway,
because scales have been banned from the household. This is probably a good thing
because last time I started dieting (When I was 15) I would just skip meals and weight myself 10 times a day.
Goal 1. Lose 25-35 pounds by May 4th.
Goal 2. Get into shape, gain some muscle.
...by eating less, eating healthy and exercising.
I started about two weeks ago, and have been doing well so far.
Healthy but non-weight related goals:
To form better posture habits and clear up my skin.
Be more optimistic and less hopeless and self-hating.
Why I want to get into shape:
Always tired
Always weak
Can't run 10 feet without gasping for air\turning into jelly.
I hate the way I look, and I'm done complaining about something that I have the ability to change.
In the future, I might end up getting sick or injured or just won't have enough time. So I should do this while I can.
Good Points: I have plenty of free time right now. No problem getting fruits and vegetables. I live on the edge of a national forest so I can go hiking whenever I want.
My internet access is terrible, so I can't spend all day on my laptop anymore. We hardly ever go out to eat.
Bad Points: I have severe anxiety issues, so I avoid people as much as possible. This means no gyms, trainers, doctors or taking a stroll down the street.
(consequently, I can't jog now. The road was the only place flat enough to jog on. Everything else is weeds, hills and mud(and in the warm weather, snakes))
I try to exercise every day, but I when I get sore I have to sacrifice a few days to heal
I have very little cooking experience. I despise cooking.
For exercise I do crunches, light push ups, walk outside and some upside down bicycle thing I learned in
in gym class 12 years ago. If it hurts, it's working, I guess. (Doing all of this at home and within walking distance.)
My rewards for losing weight? Other than being healthier and feeling better, I would be able to fit into half the clothes in my closet again!
I've got this 'skinny' silky black button up blouse that I'm dying to wear for the first time.
And I've always wanted to go out into public rocking a spaghetti string top, or a shorter skirt.
------A little history:
I was really active as a kid. Weight was not an issue for me then, though most of my family (immediate and extended) has been overweight
as long as I remember. A lot of them have diabetes now.
When I was 8 our family left home to start RVing, even then I got to stay active. RV parks usually
have plenty of space for exercise. I liked climbing trees, catching crawdads and salamanders in the creeks
and exploring the woods.
But after we got settled down I hit puberty, and holy hell did everything go downhill from there. EVERYTHING.
Mentally I was a wreck, my anxiety got much worse, emotionally I was depressed and sometimes bordered on suicidal.
Physically I was covered in acne and gained a bunch of weight.
My parents and younger brother gained weight too, we were having money problems and were constantly stressed out. We had awful eating habits.
All I wanted to do was lay in my bed and watch TV, and I think I pretty much did for one straight year when I was 13.
At some point we made changes in our diet and eating habits.
----We all lost a ton of the weight just by doing this:
Stopped drinking milk with our meals. (Helped a lot)
Stopped drinking more than two cans of soda.
Stopped deep-frying everything just because we could. (I still miss the corndogs, however.)
Stopped eating late night snacks.
Starting keeping a bowl of fruit on the table.
I went from 5'5 and 145 pounds to 5'6 and 115 pounds.
I stopped watching TV for good too! Went cold turkey and now I can't stand listening to the television.
Unfortunately, I found a new addiction. The internet, more specifically MMORPGS.
I'd wake up and the first thing I would do is sit down at the computer and play until bedtime.
I graduated high school early, so I had plenty of spare time. I ended up gaining back all that weight.
When I was 18 I broke up with MMO's and starting cutting off computer time little by little.
Now I've made the decision. I am pushing to do the best I can to get healthy again.
These are my rules right now.
Only eating healthy food. (Unless it's a Monday)
No more soda (Unless it's a Monday, then only 1 can)
Don't sit on the computer for more than a few hours. (Unless it's Monday)
Exercise whenever possible. (Whenever I'm not in agonizing pain from doing so the day earlier)
Fix sleeping habits.
Stop being so negative.
Drink as much water as possible.
Also, since I don't have scales I tied a string around the smallest part of my torso. The purpose of the string is that as I lose weight, it will get looser and looser until it eventually, hopefully, drops down around my belly button instead of sitting just below my breasts. I love it. It's not tight enough to hurt but I can feel it around me when I take a deep breath. So it's constantly reminding me what I'm trying to do. Kind of like the 'bow tie around the finger reminder'.
--------February 7th, 2013.
My mother's the only one being supportive. She's awesome, truly.
My dad and brother are so evil, they KNOW I'm on a diet and they're buying doughnuts and eating them in front of me, smiling, going on about how yummy they are. It's my favorite kind of doughnut too, icing on top and cream in the middle. GAHH.
My body is still sore from the other day. I carried a couple of totes filled with rocks back from the woods (they were nice rocks, wanted them for my mothers
garden.) but I over did it and my shoulders have been hurting ever since. I took a hot shower and bath last night and used some icyheat. Barely helped at all.
I really, really wish I decided to do this while we still had a pool. I love swimming.
As a motivational joke. I like to tell myself "If I don't get into shape I'll never survive a zombie apocalypse!"
I'm a huge fan of The Walking Dead lol.
----My weakness foods:
Anything Chinese
Pizza
Mozzarella
Any burger with chicken or bacon in it
Cookie dough
Cream Soda
Junk food like Pringles, Cheez-its and Combos.
This forum diary thing is a really good idea, I'm glad I found this site
I had already started journaling so that's why the first post is a bit long, I just moved it all here.
Numbers and whatnot:
19 years old. Female. 5 feet and 6 inches tall, pear shaped, about 145 pounds.
The little problem is that I don't know my exact weight and wont be able to track it anyway,
because scales have been banned from the household. This is probably a good thing
because last time I started dieting (When I was 15) I would just skip meals and weight myself 10 times a day.
Goal 1. Lose 25-35 pounds by May 4th.
Goal 2. Get into shape, gain some muscle.
...by eating less, eating healthy and exercising.
I started about two weeks ago, and have been doing well so far.
Healthy but non-weight related goals:
To form better posture habits and clear up my skin.
Be more optimistic and less hopeless and self-hating.
Why I want to get into shape:
Always tired
Always weak
Can't run 10 feet without gasping for air\turning into jelly.
I hate the way I look, and I'm done complaining about something that I have the ability to change.
In the future, I might end up getting sick or injured or just won't have enough time. So I should do this while I can.
Good Points: I have plenty of free time right now. No problem getting fruits and vegetables. I live on the edge of a national forest so I can go hiking whenever I want.
My internet access is terrible, so I can't spend all day on my laptop anymore. We hardly ever go out to eat.
Bad Points: I have severe anxiety issues, so I avoid people as much as possible. This means no gyms, trainers, doctors or taking a stroll down the street.
(consequently, I can't jog now. The road was the only place flat enough to jog on. Everything else is weeds, hills and mud(and in the warm weather, snakes))
I try to exercise every day, but I when I get sore I have to sacrifice a few days to heal
I have very little cooking experience. I despise cooking.
For exercise I do crunches, light push ups, walk outside and some upside down bicycle thing I learned in
in gym class 12 years ago. If it hurts, it's working, I guess. (Doing all of this at home and within walking distance.)
My rewards for losing weight? Other than being healthier and feeling better, I would be able to fit into half the clothes in my closet again!
I've got this 'skinny' silky black button up blouse that I'm dying to wear for the first time.
And I've always wanted to go out into public rocking a spaghetti string top, or a shorter skirt.
------A little history:
I was really active as a kid. Weight was not an issue for me then, though most of my family (immediate and extended) has been overweight
as long as I remember. A lot of them have diabetes now.
When I was 8 our family left home to start RVing, even then I got to stay active. RV parks usually
have plenty of space for exercise. I liked climbing trees, catching crawdads and salamanders in the creeks
and exploring the woods.
But after we got settled down I hit puberty, and holy hell did everything go downhill from there. EVERYTHING.
Mentally I was a wreck, my anxiety got much worse, emotionally I was depressed and sometimes bordered on suicidal.
Physically I was covered in acne and gained a bunch of weight.
My parents and younger brother gained weight too, we were having money problems and were constantly stressed out. We had awful eating habits.
All I wanted to do was lay in my bed and watch TV, and I think I pretty much did for one straight year when I was 13.
At some point we made changes in our diet and eating habits.
----We all lost a ton of the weight just by doing this:
Stopped drinking milk with our meals. (Helped a lot)
Stopped drinking more than two cans of soda.
Stopped deep-frying everything just because we could. (I still miss the corndogs, however.)
Stopped eating late night snacks.
Starting keeping a bowl of fruit on the table.
I went from 5'5 and 145 pounds to 5'6 and 115 pounds.
I stopped watching TV for good too! Went cold turkey and now I can't stand listening to the television.
Unfortunately, I found a new addiction. The internet, more specifically MMORPGS.
I'd wake up and the first thing I would do is sit down at the computer and play until bedtime.
I graduated high school early, so I had plenty of spare time. I ended up gaining back all that weight.
When I was 18 I broke up with MMO's and starting cutting off computer time little by little.
Now I've made the decision. I am pushing to do the best I can to get healthy again.
These are my rules right now.
Only eating healthy food. (Unless it's a Monday)
No more soda (Unless it's a Monday, then only 1 can)
Don't sit on the computer for more than a few hours. (Unless it's Monday)
Exercise whenever possible. (Whenever I'm not in agonizing pain from doing so the day earlier)
Fix sleeping habits.
Stop being so negative.
Drink as much water as possible.
Also, since I don't have scales I tied a string around the smallest part of my torso. The purpose of the string is that as I lose weight, it will get looser and looser until it eventually, hopefully, drops down around my belly button instead of sitting just below my breasts. I love it. It's not tight enough to hurt but I can feel it around me when I take a deep breath. So it's constantly reminding me what I'm trying to do. Kind of like the 'bow tie around the finger reminder'.
--------February 7th, 2013.
My mother's the only one being supportive. She's awesome, truly.
My dad and brother are so evil, they KNOW I'm on a diet and they're buying doughnuts and eating them in front of me, smiling, going on about how yummy they are. It's my favorite kind of doughnut too, icing on top and cream in the middle. GAHH.
My body is still sore from the other day. I carried a couple of totes filled with rocks back from the woods (they were nice rocks, wanted them for my mothers
garden.) but I over did it and my shoulders have been hurting ever since. I took a hot shower and bath last night and used some icyheat. Barely helped at all.
I really, really wish I decided to do this while we still had a pool. I love swimming.
As a motivational joke. I like to tell myself "If I don't get into shape I'll never survive a zombie apocalypse!"
I'm a huge fan of The Walking Dead lol.
----My weakness foods:
Anything Chinese
Pizza
Mozzarella
Any burger with chicken or bacon in it
Cookie dough
Cream Soda
Junk food like Pringles, Cheez-its and Combos.
I have definitely lost weight. I'm so happy!