Aleeluh
New member
Hi everyone. I have been MIA lately, I apoligize. I have a lot going on in my life, and unfortuantley I am having a really hard time dealing with it. I have gained about 5 pounds, not much I know, but it still upsets me - because I don't really "emotionally eat."
My boyfriend and I recently broke up- we had been dating for about three years, long distance. We saw each other often, but because of his work schedule, we stopped getting to see each other as much, but we were both determined to work through it- he had gone as far as, he was planning to move here for months, we planned this, and every time it would never happen. I am not going to say I didn't understand, because I did. I know he was scared to move here, and I know he was terrified to leave his family. It just made the most sense, that he did - I am registered for school, not financally stable, and I couldn't really see myself functioning away from my home town now. So the last couple of months he had been planning to work at my mom's car dealership when he moved here, which was fine- he works around cars now. Well, my mom's car dealership just recently started cutting jobs; and they may even have to shut down. So, him getting a job here that paid for than minimum wage right now, would be impossible. So after months of going through the pain, and we both arguing because we are frustrated that we can't make this work- we decided to break it off. I am not going to say it was the wrong choice, it wasn't. It wasn't ment to work for us, but it doesn't make it hurt any less or take the pain I am feeling away. He was "there" for me everyday for the past three years, before I even lost weight- he helped me through it. He loved me regardless, it it kills me he is gone. He was my best friend, and my comfort through everything. Going through everyday now, I feel like I am missing something- like my life has totally changed, because we don't even speak anymore. It is impossible for us to get on with our lives right now if that was to happen.
I haven't stayed at my own home in over two weeks, I can't stand being here. Everything here reminds me of us, I just want to contact him when I am here. Today is the first day I am able to sit here for more than 10mins. I have applied for a second job, hoping I can get hired- I have been going out with friends more, and just trying to keep busy, I am not exactly sure how to deal with everything going on, but I know I can go on, and It will get better. So I keep going.
I am also trying to heal from my surgery, and it makes it even harder, I am just trying to keep going.
I just wanted to update everyone, I will try and be on to update more. Thanks for reading.
My boyfriend and I recently broke up- we had been dating for about three years, long distance. We saw each other often, but because of his work schedule, we stopped getting to see each other as much, but we were both determined to work through it- he had gone as far as, he was planning to move here for months, we planned this, and every time it would never happen. I am not going to say I didn't understand, because I did. I know he was scared to move here, and I know he was terrified to leave his family. It just made the most sense, that he did - I am registered for school, not financally stable, and I couldn't really see myself functioning away from my home town now. So the last couple of months he had been planning to work at my mom's car dealership when he moved here, which was fine- he works around cars now. Well, my mom's car dealership just recently started cutting jobs; and they may even have to shut down. So, him getting a job here that paid for than minimum wage right now, would be impossible. So after months of going through the pain, and we both arguing because we are frustrated that we can't make this work- we decided to break it off. I am not going to say it was the wrong choice, it wasn't. It wasn't ment to work for us, but it doesn't make it hurt any less or take the pain I am feeling away. He was "there" for me everyday for the past three years, before I even lost weight- he helped me through it. He loved me regardless, it it kills me he is gone. He was my best friend, and my comfort through everything. Going through everyday now, I feel like I am missing something- like my life has totally changed, because we don't even speak anymore. It is impossible for us to get on with our lives right now if that was to happen.
I haven't stayed at my own home in over two weeks, I can't stand being here. Everything here reminds me of us, I just want to contact him when I am here. Today is the first day I am able to sit here for more than 10mins. I have applied for a second job, hoping I can get hired- I have been going out with friends more, and just trying to keep busy, I am not exactly sure how to deal with everything going on, but I know I can go on, and It will get better. So I keep going.
I am also trying to heal from my surgery, and it makes it even harder, I am just trying to keep going.
I just wanted to update everyone, I will try and be on to update more. Thanks for reading.
