This is the third time I've returned.

[Paroxysm1]

My freshman year, I was 245 lbs. I lost 45 lbs, but in the past couple of months I've gained back 10 - 15 lbs. I don't know why I've been so slack. I currently fit into a size 18/20 jeans and 14/16 shirts at Lane Bryant / Large T-shirt.
I've been overweight since the age of eight, when I discovered the internet and stopped going outside to play like all of the other kids. Since the internet is more of an addiction than eating to me, I should be using that to my advantage, right?

New rules:

1) Minimal amounts of soda. I'm not going to say no soda because that would be an extreme, and if I messed up and drank soda, I'd feel bad. No, I'm not going to set myself up for failure like that.

2) No eating at the computer. I'll try to eat at the table even if I'm home alone. It's alright for me to eat in front of the TV because the rare times that I do watch TV are when I'm with my family, and in cases like that, it's just like eating at the dinner table with them.

3) At least ten minute of exercise a day. I'm aiming for more like 30, but - again - ten is better than none, and if I'm too lazy to really exercise one day, I can just tell myself, "Alright, all I have to do is ten minutes."

4) Drink as much water as possible.

5) I'm not going to limit myself about food in any other instances. I'm just going to try to eat less.

Now that I'm back, I have a couple of new things in my favor.
a) I have a PS2 and DDR, which I adore.
b) We have attained some bikes from my best friend's parents.

My exercise will mostly consist of DDR, bike riding, walking, jogging up and down stairs, jumping on the trampoline, lifting my little 5 lb weights, and shooting hoops with my basketball.

It's summer time, and it's time to get motivated again!

 

[Paroxysm1]

Days # 1 - 3

I've been keeping my girlfriend updated the past few days, so I guess I'll just post exactly what I said to her. (Note: I dated Sabrina two years ago, and we just recently started dating again on April 1st.)
I hadn't considered coming back here, but I think I'm going to need some motivation, so here I am.

Day #1: Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I DDRed for about 40 minutes. I ate... 2 hot pockets, a PB&J uncrustable, pretzels, a pear, milk, water, ginger ale, some croutons, and like 1/3 of a handful of shredded cheese?

Day #2: Thursday, April 24, 2008
I DDRed for like 40 minutes on light and then maybe like 10 on standard.
I've eaten... a small bowl of Frosted Flakes, two chicken tenders with carrots and a roll and milk, two more chicken tenders at home, and then a chicken wrap and some fries from Wendy's.

Day #2: Friday, April 25, 2008
Yesterday, I ate... A ham sub, a pear, a few sunchips, and milk, then a chicken pizone and some of my aunt's Chinese food that consisted of General Tso chicken and fried rice.
I DDRed for probably 20 minutes and took a light walk around the subdivision.

 

[thedarwinfish]

3rd time is a charm? Let's hope so. Do you know what made you slack off and gain the weight back? Do you have any plans to combat that this time around?

 

[maleficent]

5) I'm not going to limit myself about food in any other instances. I'm just going to try to eat less.

Not limiting yourself is fine... and eating less is good -but looking at your food days - your nutrition is pretty vacant... you've got minimal fiber, protein is lacking, and vitamins I'm pretty sure are non existant...

Spend some time with the stickied threads in the nutrition forum - eating "right" isn't ocmplicated or hard or should make you feel punished... but it's something that you should learn now -to take with you for the rest of your life so you won't have attempt 4, 5, 6, to infinity

 

[Paroxysm1]

3rd time is a charm? Let's hope so. Do you know what made you slack off and gain the weight back? Do you have any plans to combat that this time around?

I got depressed and started binging - and I got lazy and stopped exercising.
That's about all that I can think of.

Not limiting yourself is fine... and eating less is good -but looking at your food days - your nutrition is pretty vacant... you've got minimal fiber, protein is lacking, and vitamins I'm pretty sure are non existant...

Spend some time with the stickied threads in the nutrition forum - eating "right" isn't ocmplicated or hard or should make you feel punished... but it's something that you should learn now -to take with you for the rest of your life so you won't have attempt 4, 5, 6, to infinity

The thing is, my parents buy my food.
I've asked them time and time again to start buying healthier food, and they haven't.
I actually like healthy food. A lot. I prefer whole wheat bread, fruit, vegetables, and yogurt.
I eat school lunch and whatever my parents make for dinner / whatever I can find around the house.

 

[Camy]

Mal is so right, not limiting is ok, but you need to get some vegetable in there (other than french fries!).
There is no point in being "skinny" and unhealthy! Because if you are you will get sick, which will lead to you lying around which will lead to weight gain! And your body would be very thankful if you gave it some nice nutrition! And losing weight would be so much easier!

I am extreme on my food and I am not saying you should follow what I eat, but man there are so many pros on eating right that I can't even count them (but the ones I have heard people tell me are: thinner, better skin, nicer hair, look happier and the ones I feel (daily): better sex drive, feeling more alive, less aches and pains!).

Even if you are too lazy to read the stickies... you KNOW what is good for you and what isn't! Green stuff generally good! Deep fried, breaded and soaking in oil generally BAD!
I wish you all the best, Camy

ETA: we posted at the same time it seems: you look old enough to me to go and buy your own bread and veggies! If you can buy Wendy's you can buy veggies too!

 

[Paroxysm1]

Then and now: a mass timeline.

I'm being a bit of a cam whore here.
None of these pictures are spectacular; nor do they quite show changes in my body.
I think I'm going to start taking body shots that will be for my eyes only until I lose more weight.
This is just for personal reference, mostly.
I have better, somewhat recent, pictures of myself on my MySpace.

Baby pictures.


7th grade, with my counselor at the time, Dawn.


8th grade school picture.


8th grade, after I cut all my hair off and got contacts.


This was my favorite picture in 8th grade.


9th grade, at my biggest, after seeing RENT with my cousin, Maranda, best friend Brittany, and other best friend Jennifer (who is taking the picture).


9th grade, Jen and I.


9th grade, with my mom, who I don't live with by the way.


9th grade, I believe.


9th grade, December '06.


Summer after 9th grade. This was taken right before I got my permit, which expires this July, and I still can't drive.


10th grade, in January '07, on my sixteenth birthday party.


10th grade, after dying my hair.


10th grade, April / May of last year.


11th grade, early August '07.


11th grade, late August '07.


11th grade, November '07.


11th grade, January '08. It was snowing outside.


11th grade, February '08, right before homecoming - my first high school dance. I'm on the left. My friend Kayla is on the right.


11th grade, April 25, '08. [YESTERDAY.]

 

[Paroxysm1]

ETA: we posted at the same time it seems: you look old enough to me to go and buy your own bread and veggies! If you can buy Wendy's you can buy veggies too!

No, I really don't / can't buy my own food at all.
I don't have a job, so I have no money to buy food. I don't drive, so I can't go to the store and buy it. I hardly ever leave the house. When we get fast food, they're bringing it home after they get off of work, while I've been sitting around at home starving since school.

 

[Camy]

How old are you Paroxysm??
From the pics and the dating I would say 17ish... right? It can't be that you cannot (at 17) eat what you want! Could you maybe get a job? I mean even if it is a paper route, taht would get you to walk and it would get you some money for vegetables!
I started working when I was 14 because my parents could not give me money for the cinema and other things I would like to do. I worked 3 days a week after school nannying 3 small children. It is possible, where there is a will there is a way!

And how far do you live from shops etc.. do you never go out with friends, or similar? I cannot believe that a 17 year old has no means to get to a supermarket when she wants to! I mean I do believe YOU, I just think that is a very sad thing! And be completely honest, are those not excuses? Is there not a bus to town that you could take? Would your parents not give you 5 dollars every now and again to buy soem food? How about if you did the family shopping?

Probably it is not possible for me to understand because when I was 17 I lived by myself, studied at university, worked 30 hours a week, etc...

Since you have a permit til July... can't you try to learn to drive? I mean that won't solve the problem that you probably don't have a car, but it would be a step forward!
Anyhow, good luck, Camy

 

[Paroxysm1]

I can't really eat what I want because I can't attain the food that I want.
There are no paper routes.
I can't get a job because I have no means of transportation; we can't afford a car, and my parents have to work and stuff so they don't have much time to take us driving. They're off on the weekends, but we're all always busy.
I can't walk anywhere. And there are certainly no buses. That's LAUGHABLE. I live in Georgia--not in the city. Everything is really far apart. My parents won't even let me walk outside of my subdivision because they think I'll get hit by a car or something; if I do that, I'll get grounded.
I don't go out with my friends on a regular basis. Not even every weekend. And when I do, it's not like their parents (none of my friends can drive aside from the one who recently decided to abandon all of the friends that he has had for years for newer, older, friends who he gets intoxicated with) are going to take me to the store to buy groceries with my nonexistent money.
My parents aren't going to let me buy their food for them.

You're all making me feel really bad, like I'm incompotent.
I'm tempted to just not post here and lose weight on my own because all you're doing is getting me down.

I can't get my own food; thus, I'm stuck eating crud.
It isn't my fault.

I figured as long as I'm not eating mass amounts of it and am exercising, I'd be able to get into better shape,
but you're making me feel hopeless.
This is NOT what I came here for.

 

[Camy]

I did not mean to make you feel bad, it is just very difficult for me to fathom that a girl your age would live so secluded, but I do know that distances in america are different to distances here in europe.
And there are so many people who have excuses after excuses not to lose weight (I was one of them, so I know exactly what it is like) and I think that you have to confront the excuses (not you you, just generally you, anybody, me for example, I had to face that eating a ton of crap was not "because I feel sick, so I need something to cheer me up", because all they did was make me feel even worse).
So I thought , because it is difficult for me to understand that someone would not be able to do normal every day stuff like shopping or getting a little job or something like that, that maybe you were making excuses.

If you aren't well then I think that yes, given your situation, working out is surely a good idea. Also since you eat school lunches, there you can chose yourself, without your parents chosing for you, so that could be your "most healthy" meal (I know school cafeterias are not an organic heaven, but at least you will have some saying in what you eat).

Don't worry I will not post here anymore, and it was never my "aim" to make you feel bad. I just didn't understand.
Camy

 

[Paroxysm1]

Trust me, I like healthy food. A lot.
It tastes more crisp and fresh, and I feel better after I eat it: not weighted down or guilty.
If I had it my way, I would buy my own food. Perhaps when I start driving and get a job?
I'm not sure. My parents want us to go to go to a driving school before we get our licenses, and hopefully we will do that over the summer, but I don't know if we'll be able to or not, and summer is quickly approaching.
I'll be a senior next year; after that, I'll be graduating. Hopefully I'll get into the school of my choice (UGA,) which will force me to move out and live on campus, although I'm not entirely sure how I'll be able to pay for room and board.
If I move out, I will be able to make ALL of my own eating choices, which would be awesome--but might still be difficult on a tight budget if I only have a part-time job and am going to school.
I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Yes, my lunch hour is my "most healthy" meal, unless I choose to get pizza, which I never did until I switched lunch periods and started eating with my friends and getting to the cafeteria later because it was more convenient, but I've stopped.
I get a ham sub, eat half of the bun, the cheese, and the ham, along with a tomato; I get some type of fruit, like an apple, an orange, a banana, or a pear; I get a bag of something like pretzels or Sun Chips which are usually about 140 calories; a low-fat strawberry milk.
When I come home, I drink water.
In the morning, I usually have a small bowl of cereal or one poptart or some toast with peanut butter on it or something. Whatever I can grab, I guess.
Then I eat whatever my parents make / bring home for dinner.
I should really start earting half the amount of dinner that I do, though, I think.

Yesterday, I DDRed on Work Out mode and supposedly burned 500 calories, and it took me like an hour.
Today, I've burned 290 calories so far and it took me like half an hour.
[Of course, I send text messages and stuff between songs and such.]

I'm not quite sure how accurate this is, though?