Third Time's the Charm?

K

krakefjes

New member
After some hesitation, I decided to start my own diary thread. First, I just have to say that I don't know how consistent I will be with this, as I have a very busy schedule. I track everything I eat using an app on my phone, but I thought sharing my thoughts here might work as a supplement to boost my motivation. I heard someone in a smoking stop commercial say it was useful to declare for the world you're officially quitting, so that's sort of what I'm doing here. However, I think I'll only be posting when things are either going really well OR I'm facing great obstacles.

Some short facts about me: I'm not new to this forum, I''ve been around for a few years. Mostly lurking. I'm a 21 year old girl from Scandinavia, (and I am hereby excused if I use funny idioms sometimes… I'll try not to, though). Height 5'7, Weight ca 264 lbs (172cm, 120 kg). I was afraid of writing those numbers because I'm paranoid enough to believe someone will track me down and laugh in my face. The numbers both scare me and don't scare me at the same time. I've lost insane amounts of weight 2 times before, so I know I am fully capable of it.


And now for my life story, extremely compressed version:
I was a bit chubby and wore hand-me-down clothes the first day at school and consequently was bullied from the age of 6 till 16, until I finally got to change schools and meet new people. Finding myself in a situation with almost no friends at the age of 6, I stopped being an active kid and took up lazy one-man hobbies such as reading and writing. At 14 y/o I lost 70 pounds but gained it all back. At 17 I lost the 70 pounds again, but gained it all back after an ankle injury. Now I'm living in a new city, with my boyfriend who loves me no matter the number on the scale - but we both want to lose weight for our health. My plan to make it last this time, is:

1.Try to work out when I can, but don't feel bad when I can't, or don't want to. I know myself, and I am an "inside person". I don't go running on mountains everyday just because I feel like it: that's not me, and it's never going to be me. I don't rise and shine at 5am just to sweat an hour in a gym filled with fit people who are dressed and dolled up for picking up members of the opposite sex. I've done that exact routine 2 times before, (10+ hours of workout every week) and there is a reason why I quit.

2. Eat whatever I want, but try to eat healthy food that keeps me full for longer. And generally stay within 1400-1800 kcal.

3. I know it will take much longer time this way, but I'm also convinced it's the only way for me to reach my goal weight and stay there.

Since the beginning of January I have lost 7 pounds.

Third time's the charm, right? (Hope I used that idiom right. haha.)
PS. Just ask questions if there's anything about my plan (both previous and future) you'd like to know more in detail :)
 
Thank you :) I feel very motivated. Since I'm not being as strict and hard on myself as earlier, I think this is something I can keep up.

I measured myself yesterday and I have lost a couple cm's here and there. Since I live far away from all members of my family, and they don't know I'm losing weight, my first goal is to lose enough for them to notice the next time we meet. I think that's more than realistic, as I won't see them for another 6 months or so.

Today has been a good day food-wise. I've stayed below 1500kcal, as I pretty much have done every day since I started. I don't crave for anything sweet or unhealthy, which is great. It's surprising how fast those cravings goes away too, once you stop eating the wrong foods. Today I ate 2 pieces of whole wheat bread with scrambled eggs, and some maki sushi pieces with ginger and soy sauce. I don't really like fish for dinner, so I try to eat things like sushi, and toppings like smoked salmon and mackerel in tomato sauce for the omega3. At the same time, I easily get tired of having chicken for dinner all the time, so I have to find a way to vary it.

I worked out today too. One of those dancing video games - it's fun, but I'm afraid my neighbors will complain about it soon. I can imagine it's annoying for those who live in the apartment underneath, when I jump around for 45 minutes every other day. Just crossing my fingers every time I do it, hoping they're not home. Maybe I'll go jogging sometimes when the snow disappears in April/May (crossing fingers for April).

My biggest challenge with weightloss is workout: or rather, the pressing feeling of "I should be working out right now", and the feeling of failure every time you can't motivate yourself to do it. I actually quite like cardio exercise, and especially the feeling you get when you're done. But I find it extremely hard to juggle everything in my life and prioritize. I'm not very effective with my time - never been the sort of person who rushes from one thing to another and gets everything done. The day is just too short. Also, I don't like gyms (as I said in my first entry) because I feel very out of place there. I never see other overweight people at my gym, so I become very self conscious. Also, I prefer fresh air and changing sceneries: so jogging is the optimal workout for me.
 
Welcome to the forum, and it's great that you want to start a journal. You've done the first step, and that's realizing that you want to be healthy. A good motto I've heard is if you bite it, write it. So don't forget to put down what you eat, even if it's not the best of days for you. The largest part in weight loss is food. Once you get the food straightened out, you'll see all your hard work pay off.

Exercise can be both rewarding and frustrating. Remember that there are SO many ways to get those extra burned calories in, like walking instead of driving, or dancing in the kitchen while waiting for water to boil.

It's exciting to start off and get going! Hold onto that feeling and don't forget it. Come back at least once a week so that you're accountable to yourself. I'll send positive thoughts in your direction!

Good luck :)
 
Thanks, Loch :D I like that motto, and writing down what I eat has really helped me, both now and before. But now that I have the app on my phone, it is so much easier to write it down when you're on the go. Also, on those days when I know there's a chance I'll break my budget, I write down what I'll eat _before_ I eat it. Just makes it a bit easier to keep track.

I'm thinking of walking to school instead of taking the bus, but it's a long walk and I freeze my face off everytime I step outside. I should get me one of those hoods that burglars use. lol. :)
 
I started walking to work, which is a mile away. It's cold, and uphill, but the rewards are totally worth the discomfort! I use one of those circle scarfs that I can wrap 3 times around my neck and pull it up to my nose. I know it's mean, but I kind of chuckle at people who think -25C weather (-13F) is too cold. I've started walking in that temperature and eventually I just don't feel the cold anymore. Makes me want to keep doing it to prove how hard-core I am xD.

My recommendation is to give it a try, walk one day, and see how it goes. If it's too much, then at least you gave it a shot :).
 
I'll definitely try walking to school every now and then, especially if I can get someone to walk with me. This time around I am focused on finding a balance between being realistic and being pessimistic. I know myself, and I know I can push myself to extremes. I am very self disciplined, and I'm sure I could walk to school and back everyday, in all kinds of weather, starting tomorrow, if I just set my mind to it. The question is whether I'll be able to keep it up for the rest of my life. I want a routine with workout that I enjoy so much that I don't -have- to do that pep-talk everyday. I prefer short, intense runs 100 times more than long, slow walks. I love running, and I love sports that include running.

Today I ended up eating very little, because I fell asleep once I got home from school. I was so exhausted and slept for hours. That is something I'm truly hoping will get better soon - my energy level. One thought that hit me today, that has hit me many times, is how incredibly exhausting it is to perform everyday activities with all this weight. Just walking up the stairs to the library is something I dread. Sometimes I dread it so much that I just avoid doing it altogether, and this can seriously hurt my studies. What I hate about walking up these stairs: I'm fully dressed from being outside in the cold, I walk up the stairs, my body feels so heavy it feels like it's going to tip over and fall all the way down. I bite my teeth together and try to keep my breath under control, because I do not want to be that fat, panting girl in the otherwise dead-silent library. Holding your breath for a long time really hurts, so when I sit down to start studying I feel an ache in my chest and I'm sweaty even though I showered before I left home. I also become tired really quickly, and I don't get all my reading done.

Cardio workout will help with this problem and make my life so much better. I just have to find the right workout for me.
 
I know what you mean about the stairs. 6 months ago, I was at the same point. However, you'd be amazed at how quickly your cardiovascular system can recover and adapt. Once you start doing some cardio exercise, you'll probably quit breathing heavy pretty quickly. :]
 
Take things one at a time, and you'll get there. Most of us have been in that situation, I know I have.

At one of the stores I work at, we have this stepping stool, but it's bottom step is caved in. So in order to get to the top shelf to put products away, you have to step on the top step immediately. Not only that, but it's kind of a cheap stool and is a tad wobbly. My boss always has me put stuff out on the shelves. So, I have to use that stool, and grip a shelf just to get leverage to heft my fat butt onto the stool. I'm scared the thing won't be able to handle my 270lb much longer. By the time I get down from that 3 feet, I'm breathing heavy and I'm scared. Being heavy SUCKS. These are the situations that make us seriously think; how much longer can we put up with this gorilla on my back?

The only way to fix it is to take charge and get back our body. The more cardio you do, the easier it will become! If you don't want to do any long walking, I suggest looking into some cardio exercises on youtube for in your living room. Stair exercises can burn a lot of calories!
 
Loch: Those situations SUCK, and I always try to remember that whenever I'm in need of motivation. One favorite of mine is thinking about how it'll be to travel by airplane after losing weight. Right now, I travel that way pretty often, and it's a horrible experience every time - especially if I'm seated next to a fairly big man... My butt can hardly fit in the seat (don't know how large seats are over there in the US/UK, but here in Scandinavia they are NOT made for a 260 pound body). So the whole trip consists of 1. pain from squeezing my butt in there and 2. back pain from trying to lean away from the person next to me so our bodies are not touching and getting all clammy. haha.

Things are going well, at least with the diet. I've rediscovered my love for cottage cheese, and trying to incorporate it in a meal everyday. I also switch between eating the darkest type of whole wheat bread, and rye crisp breads. I like how I can eat 4 of the crisp breads and stay below 200kcal. It basically feels like I'm allowing myself more, even though I'm not.
Exercise is not so good at the moment. The other weeks I've been able to get a few hours of dancing in, but this week I've been more focused on school and other things. But as long as I stay within my calorie budget, I should still be losing weight, and that's all I'm worried about at the moment.

I did the huge mistake of weighing myself yesterday (wednesday) after eating breakfast and drinking lots of water. I weighed almost 7 lbs more than I did monday!!!!!!! At first I thought my weight must definitely be broken, but I tried again today before eating/drinking anything, and I was back down to what I was on monday. It discouraged me a bit because I'd like to think I'm losing on a day-to-day basis, with the strict calorie intake I have. But I'm obviously not, which is why I should weigh myself on mondays only. I can't get hung up on the number on the scale, I just want to use it to measure progress. Unfortunately, a scale also measures plateaus....... I just think it's way too early for me to plateau now.
 
NO one should lose a lb a day. The only people who do are in reality tv, and even then, it's not healthy.

What are your calorie goals? Exercise?

Remember that our bodies need food as energy, and if you're not filling the tank up to full you're doing more harm than good. Women need at LEAST 1200 calories. If you ate between 1200-1500 calories you would lose 2 lb a week. The reason we only focus on the once a week number is because we're spreading the calorie deficit over 7 days. Don't let those numbers break you down! You'll see results so long as you stick to it and eat healthy!

In order to lose a lb you have to burn 3500 calories. If you wanted to burn half a pound it would be 1750. Our bodies change so much, day to day, that we can't rely on our weight on a day to day basis. Give it time, and look at the big picture :). My weight was 270.6 yesterday, and now it's 272.4! I know I ate well, but I also had something to drink and eat ;). It all factors in.

Keep going! :)
 
I try to keep my calorie intake as close to 1400 kcal as possible. Sometimes I go below, sometimes I go over (on fridays and saturdays, I sometimes allow myself up to 1800). It seems to be working well and I rarely walk around feeling hungry, as long as I eat the right foods. I don't follow a low-carb diet per se, as I've lost weight before while eating pasta, bread and rice. I choose the full-grain versions of everything. Sometimes though, after eating a meal rich in carbs, I'll feel hungry again very soon. On Tuesday I had a chicken and pasta dinner. It filled me up, but just 2 hours later I felt an ache in my stomach, very similar to hunger, and I had to snack on broccoli every hour after that, in order to keep the uncomfortable sensation at bay. I got this feeling VERY often before, but in my weightloss progress so far, it's been more rare. I'm afraid it has to do with the carbs, and that's sad because I looove pasta. :(

When it comes to exercise, I try to work out at least twice/three times a week - that is, around 2 hours of dancing, (burn around 200 kcal pr.hour). Apart from that, I spend hour upon hour sitting still and reading, and most of my hobbies are sedentary too. But I walk ca. 20 minutes on a good day (when choosing to hop off the bus early), and I'm hoping to do more cardio like jogging, playing squash etc as some weight comes off and my energy level rises.
I did an online calculator thing and found out that my body burns around 2000 calories daily, just for maintenance. I'm not the best at math, but if I eat only 1400, that should lead to some loss over time.
 
Okay, time to check in again. It's Monday morning and I just weighed myself. Huge disappointment. Since last Monday I have gained 200 grams (0.5 lbs) - I know it's not a lot, but when my goal is to lose 2 lbs a week it feels like a major defeat. The worst thing is, I have no idea how I gained it. I've been very careful with tracking my intake, and here is a summary of my calories every day:

Monday - 1032 kcal
Tuesday - 1496 kcal
Wednesday - 921 kcal
Thursday - 1268 kcal
Friday - 1502 kcal minus workout 302 kcal = netto 1200 kcal
Saturday - 1008 kcal
Sunday - 638 kcal


Okay, so I know I have a very low number on some of these days. The reason for this is that I've been very busy on those days, OR I have slept for large amounts of the day (like Sunday). I haven't worked out much, apart from some moderate paced walking and a few hours of cleaning the apartment. I thought it'd be OK since my calorie count was so low. How I was still able to gain weight instead of losing, is beyond me. My boyfriend doesn't work out at all, and he eats more than me. Still, he's losing weight at a tremendous speed. I'M the big one, and when you're this big, the weight should come off easily. My motivation is VERY low at this point. And yes yes yes, I know I said I wouldn't be a slave to the scale, which is why I'm limiting my weighing to ONCE a week. It takes patience and self-discipline not to step on the scale everytime I go to the bathroom, but I've been saying to myself: wait until Monday, and the positive surprise will be even greater! Well ... This morning has been everything but positive :(

Anyone been in a similar situation, where you just don't lose weight even if you've put in the work? How do you stay motivated? I've set some weight goals, but if I keep up this speed, I have about 0% chance of reaching them.
 
Okay, so the previous post was a bit whiny. I'm still disappointed that I didn't lose weight, but I wont let it get me down, or in any way stop me from doing this. I still don't know how it is physically and scientifically possible to gain weight with such a calorie deficit as I have had this week, but I will keep going nevertheless. I'll try to eat more than 1000 kcal regularly, as I don't want to go into so-called "starvation mode" - it's just that sometimes, I find it very difficult to eat above 1000 and still below 1500. It takes such exact calculation and planning to stay ON the limit, so it's simply easier to stay a bit below. But if eating less than 1000 kcal a few days a week will make me GAIN weight, that calculation is just something I have to make time for.

This week I am starting fresh. I am going to work out at least 3 hours, and I will eat 1200-1300 kcal every day. Except maybe Sunday, I am not used to eating much on Sundays. The last thing I want to do is stuff my face with food when I feel like I don't want it or need it.

Next monday I _WILL_ have lost 2 lbs. I really hope so at least, it would be just the confirmation I need.

Today I had a mini french baguette for breakfast, with cheese and tomatoes. It's not a healthy breakfast, but it's what my boyfriend and I went for today because we haven't had it in ages. The french baguette is around 400 kcal I guess, and with the cheese, maybe 600 kcal. It was a large breakfast I know, I usually only eat 300 kcal for breakfast. I had a pretty lazy day, studying. I didn't eat anything until supper, and then I had 3 pieces of rye crisp bread with cottage cheese, half a banana, and lots of water. About 400 kcal. So I know my diet is not perfect. I like being able to have some guilty pleasures every now and then, and while white bread is not something I eat on a regular basis, I want to be able to have it on rare occasions without feeling bad about it.
So I've kept myself around 1000 kcals today. I am full, and I am not planning on eating anything more. There is no reason why I should enter "starvation mode", cause I am not starving.
 
Calorie intake today:

Breakfast: 1 banana
Dinner: 1 small/medium portion of pasta with lean minced beef and tomato sauce
Snack: 2-3 rye crisp breads with cottage cheese and slices of apple
+ Lots of water

It's now 3.30 pm, and till now I've only eaten a banana. Dinner is at 4, and I'll probably have a snack around 7-8, just to fill in the calories for today. I actually find it very difficult to eat enough. I wish I could have a normal relationship with food! I either eat too much or too little. Anyway, I think I'll be able to reach 1000cals today too.
 
Okaay, so I cheated a little bit! I weighed myself today, since Monday's weigh-in was such a disappointment, and yay! The 200 grams is gone. I now weigh 118 kg (260pounds), which is 7 kgs (15.4 pounds) less than what I started with in January. So I am very pleased, especially since I feel like this is a routine I can keep up. Sure, I'm lazier than I should, but that just means I'll be losing more once I increase my workouts (hopefully).

Intake today:
Breakfast: 2 whole wheat buns with cheese
Sugarfree energy drink (hey, it's Friday)

Snack: 130 grams of low-fat potato chips (Friday...)
1 container of Extra low fat sour cream with dip mix

I've used the app to calculate this, and my snack will be 816cals. The breakfast was around 400 cals, so I'm still under my budget of 1400. This is basically what I do on days when I'm having unhealthy snacks: I cut down on everything else. I don't know if it's something that'll work for everyone, but it works for me, as I don't feel hunger at the end of the day. I love my Friday snacks! :)
 
I'm sure most of the people reading this forum are educated enough not to trust in things like diet pills. A full lifestyle change is the only way to keep the weight off :)

I was social this weekend and consequently had a bit too much food. It's difficult being the one who sits in the corner and refuses to eat anything of what's served. We had delicious sushi (the cream cheese-filled californian style), so I'm guessing I got 900-1000 cals just from that dinner (I get 500cals for the same meal if I eat basic sushi with rice, avocado and salmon only). It was worth it, though. We had some sweet buns later that evening, and even though I ate only half of what the others did, I'm sure I got at least 700cals from it. To be fair, I didn't eat anything else that day, so I didn't go over the budget. Still, my weight today (Monday morning) was 1 kg (2 pounds) more than it was when I weighed myself on Wednesday. I don't know why I'm always so heavy on Monday mornings, but I'm considering changing my weigh-in day to Friday. Have anyone experienced the same thing? It's not that I take in more calories than I burn. I'm always calculating and making sure to stay under budget (or at LEAST below 2000cals). I know that if I have a large dinner, I can't eat much for the rest of the day. I always follow this rule, and I know that I'm not eating in-between meals. But it seems like the TYPE of food I eat during the weekend - not the quantity of it - triggers my body to gain weight. I'm pretty relaxed about it, but I must admit: it would feel a lot better if I had some results to brag about.
 
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I think changing my weigh-in day to Friday was a good idea - at least a good way to keep me motivated! I weighed myself this Friday morning, and I was 116.4 kg (256.6 lbs). That's roughly 9 kgs (19.8 lbs) less than I was in early January. I'm so happy with this progress. I've started working out more, incorporating a few jogging trips into my routine. The ideal amount of workout per week for me now will be ca. 30-40 minutes, 3-4 times a week. I believe I can do that. Only cardio though - running and dancing - no weight-lifting.

Again, it's the weekend and I'm going to eat whatever I want to, in a sensible amount of course. Pretty hungry writing this, since I'm waiting until 8pm before I can eat anything. I'm going to have tacos and low fat chips (it'll be a late night so i'll spread it out across several hours). Might peak 2000cals today, but it should be fine as I've done really well the rest of the week.

Other than that, I just want to wish everyone a lovely weekend :):)


-- Oh, I forgot: I'm going to do a question every day-thingy that I stole from Loch's diary. So here we go:

1. Write your current stats: height, current weight and goal weight. Why are you losing weight?

Height: 172 cms (5'7)
Weight: 116.4 kgs (256.6 lbs)
Goal weight: Around 70 kgs (154 lbs)

I'm losing weight because I'm tired of carrying around all this weight. It's inhibiting in many ways. I want to be healthy and do normal everyday activities without feeling burned out all the time. Apart from my weight, I am very blessed to be healthy otherwise. No allergies, no illnesses in the family. After a previous weightloss I was 75 kgs, and I felt and looked really good at that point. Because of this, I don't see any reason to go below 70 kgs.
 
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Aghhh, I totally forgot to update this thing. I won't even try to deny it: I've been a bit lazy lately! But that doesn't mean I've given up and ruined all my progress. Even though I was 116,4 kg at my lowest, I'm now 117,5. I think I gained that kilogram just over the weekend, because I allowed myself a lot more than usual. If I have to guess, I'd say that I ate a little over 2000cals both Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Oops. But stepping on the scale didn't get me down, because I also measured myself and took photos, and there is a noticeable difference! Finally! Noticeable! My stomach is flatter, my waist is smaller and creates a more prominent hourglass shape. In January, when I put the measuring tape on the "love handles" on my back and around to just under my breasts, the number was 112 cm. Now it's 104! That means I've lost just over 3 inches from that area (with a certain margin of error, but still). And it shows! It's in moments like this I'm really encouraged to keep going. I wonder how many inches I've lost when summer comes :)

Okay, so for the next question in my "question every day" thing:

2. Describe your dream/goal body.

I don't have any false hopes when it comes to how my body will look once I reach my goal weight. Of course, if I were to be completely honest, I'd say that the type of body I find the most beautiful are the curvy ones where the curves are in the exact right spots. Healthy, but curvy, with fairly big boobs and soft (but not too flabby) love handles on the sides. If I were to choose, I'd choose that body over a skinny one any day. I also don't care for muscular women. Sorry to those women out there who are really muscular or have that as a goal, but that is not a goal for me. HOWEVER. I can't choose how I'm built. Unfortunately, I'm flat-chested. As I lose more weight, I'll become even more flat-chested. My arms will remain big in proportion to the rest of my body, and my thighs will too. I know this, cause I have been there. When I was at my healthiest and skinniest, I had no curves at all. I'm not a curvy girl! So I can't have my "dream body" ! But what I can have, is a healthy body and a healthy mind, so that's my goal :)
 
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