1. Pump your bicep while blowing yourself a kiss in the mirror.
a. This makes you look like a narcissistic f@g instead of the regular f@g I thought you to be
2. Try and lift too much weight forcing you to grunt so loud you scare the **** out of me and cause me to drop my reasonably sized weights and hurt my foot.
a. I hate you, Jeff R. from Mountain Island, NC. You know you suck. (Number 1 is also about Jeff)
3. Mandex. Never, ever. I realize your proud of those trunks, but it looks like your smuggling olives in the front of that leotard you call workout pants. Spandex is to be worn UNDER your shorts.
4. Drink weight gainer shakes if you are over 250 or flabby, whichever comes first.
5. Take so much NO-Xplode you get cracked out and can’t shut your ****ing mouth.
a. I realize you have all day to frolic at the gym, but I have friends and family I must see. I don’t have an hour to talk to you about how NO-X improves your workout. If it works so well, go lift something and leave me the **** alone.
6. Ladies…. Stop staring at me in the gym. I am not a sex-object. I am a human being with real feelings. (JK)
7. Don’t think for a second I am going to speed up my workout because you and your big ass friends come stand by the equipment I am using.
a. As mentioned in 5A, I do have other things to do, and I will be done ASAP. You standing there pressuring me will only ensure I take longer then necessary.
8. Rinse and spit in the water fountain. Seriously, what the **** are you thinking? Did you just figure that would be kosher during flu season. Unless your dentist is behind you in line instructing you to swish and spit, save it.
9. Talk about your or any other penis in the sauna. I have a penis. I know what they are and how they work. I realize they vary in size, shape and color. Your infatuation with them is causing me to get nervous, which in-turn forces my penis to retract into my body or “shrink”. How is that fair?
10. NO stretching in the locker room. That is really gross. Instead, put your clothes back-on and go into the “gym” which is short for Gymnasium, AKA the place where you are suppose to stretch.
a. Nobody likes your naked old man, inner thigh stretches.
a. This makes you look like a narcissistic f@g instead of the regular f@g I thought you to be
2. Try and lift too much weight forcing you to grunt so loud you scare the **** out of me and cause me to drop my reasonably sized weights and hurt my foot.
a. I hate you, Jeff R. from Mountain Island, NC. You know you suck. (Number 1 is also about Jeff)
3. Mandex. Never, ever. I realize your proud of those trunks, but it looks like your smuggling olives in the front of that leotard you call workout pants. Spandex is to be worn UNDER your shorts.
4. Drink weight gainer shakes if you are over 250 or flabby, whichever comes first.
5. Take so much NO-Xplode you get cracked out and can’t shut your ****ing mouth.
a. I realize you have all day to frolic at the gym, but I have friends and family I must see. I don’t have an hour to talk to you about how NO-X improves your workout. If it works so well, go lift something and leave me the **** alone.
6. Ladies…. Stop staring at me in the gym. I am not a sex-object. I am a human being with real feelings. (JK)
7. Don’t think for a second I am going to speed up my workout because you and your big ass friends come stand by the equipment I am using.
a. As mentioned in 5A, I do have other things to do, and I will be done ASAP. You standing there pressuring me will only ensure I take longer then necessary.
8. Rinse and spit in the water fountain. Seriously, what the **** are you thinking? Did you just figure that would be kosher during flu season. Unless your dentist is behind you in line instructing you to swish and spit, save it.
9. Talk about your or any other penis in the sauna. I have a penis. I know what they are and how they work. I realize they vary in size, shape and color. Your infatuation with them is causing me to get nervous, which in-turn forces my penis to retract into my body or “shrink”. How is that fair?
10. NO stretching in the locker room. That is really gross. Instead, put your clothes back-on and go into the “gym” which is short for Gymnasium, AKA the place where you are suppose to stretch.
a. Nobody likes your naked old man, inner thigh stretches.
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