The Rusting Girl

N

nolabone

New member
I think this is my third journal on here. I had one with that I shared with a friend, and one that I haven't updated since Feb. 2007. lol

I weigh more now than when I first joined this forum. I was 16 then, and about 150+, I believe. I went to the doctors a few weeks ago and weighed 169 then, which was actually down from the 170-something I weighed on the visit before. I'm 5'2...

I've been doing a better job at taking care of myself recently. I'm staying at my best friend Sarahs house, so I haven't eaten ice cream for breakfast in a long time, as a result of not buying food for my house. :p Plus, I'm less lonely, which means less feeling-bad-for-myself eating. I still can and do eat more than anyone esle I know. My metabolism must not be as horrible as I'd like to think. I weigh more than I'd like, but not as much as I probably should considering how much I can eat.

And I'm joing the gym. :) I went this week once already and used the gym, then went swimming. It felt so great. My friend Kaylee wants to join with me, and since I don't go into school until 11:30, I'd be able to go about every day, including after school when I don't have work.

I still work at Wendys, and have forced myself to stop buying french fries. I've been getting side salads and madarian orange cups instead, sometimes a potato if I'm hungry. The potato. Meh.
 
I've found some pictures of myself to keep me motivated.
D:

I actually took these first three for this forum, they're atleast a year old. I don't think I've changed that much since then (minus gaining ten pounds :p), and don't think I've ever posted them.. Hmn. The otheres are more recent.







UGH. Dance recital at the end of last year. I don't want that again this year! D:


Visting friends at Jreck Subs. Was waiting for them to close down the shop so we could hang out. My friend said I looked cute, and took a picture. HAH.

I'm excited for work tonight. Besides Wendys I also work at a resteraunt, where I buss tables and do whatever the heck they need me to do. Fridays I work upstairs, but it involves a lot of runninng to the kitchen.. downstairs. :p My face is usually bright red during dinner rush.

I'm going to shower then eat some breakfast/lunch.
 
One-sixty-three. I just weighed myself. It's probably a fluke, but... SWEET. A week ago I weighed 169.

:)

Fluke or not, I'll take it. It has cheered me up quite a bit, haha.
Yesterday my friend Jessica said I look like I've lost weight, everywhere. Even in my legs! <3
 
Lets see...

Had an onion bagel with butter and a carnation instant breakfast drink for breakfast. :p
Grilled cheese, a pickel, 3 bread sticks, and some frys from the resteraunt I work at for lunch.
Had some apple pie a second ago, and am currently eating what will probably be the majority of a brick of cheese. Atleast half.

Food wise, I ate crap today. But I did work for over 6 hours, and did quite a bit of running around. :)

Tomorrow I am joing the gym! I'm so excited!
 
nolabone said:
I think this is my third journal on here. I had one with that I shared with a friend, and one that I haven't updated since Feb. 2007. lol

I weigh more now than when I first joined this forum. I was 16 then, and about 150+, I believe. I went to the doctors a few weeks ago and weighed 169 then, which was actually down from the 170-something I weighed on the visit before. I'm 5'2...

I've been doing a better job at taking care of myself recently. I'm staying at my best friend Sarahs house, so I haven't eaten ice cream for breakfast in a long time, as a result of not buying food for my house. :p Plus, I'm less lonely, which means less feeling-bad-for-myself eating. I still can and do eat more than anyone esle I know. My metabolism must not be as horrible as I'd like to think. I weigh more than I'd like, but not as much as I probably should considering how much I can eat.

And I'm joing the gym. :) I went this week once already and used the gym, then went swimming. It felt so great. My friend Kaylee wants to join with me, and since I don't go into school until 11:30, I'd be able to go about every day, including after school when I don't have work.

I still work at Wendys, and have forced myself to stop buying french fries. I've been getting side salads and madarian orange cups instead, sometimes a potato if I'm hungry. The potato. Meh.
Click to expand...

You can do anything you set your mind to.

Let me explain.

The is a reason this world has a sun shiny sky. You're in it! :)


Put a lightening bolt under your feet..........FEEL THE THUNDER!

Yes! Feel the joy of motivated HEART! LET it ROCK!

As long as the heart is pounding there is always HOPE!


Yep......



Seek not outside yourself; success is within.​
I wish you the best with your new "fitness" venture young lady:

To dream anything you want to dream:That is the beauty of the human mind.

To do anything you want to do: That is the strength of the human will.

To trust yourself to test your limits: That is the courage to succeed.


You will never look at M&M Candy the same again: :)


You are like an M&M candy. You are direct, honest, and personally forthright with your fitness efforts. (the outer hard shell); however, you are loving, kind, and compassionate at the same time (the inner soft chocolate).



Woman like you that have a backbone can generally be misunderstood. However, without women in this world LIKE YOU, this world would crumble to the ground in pieces. They contain a type strength that FEW men can even fathom.


And, you will be successful in your fitness goals.


Have heart.




From my heart to yours,


Chillen
 
nolabone said:
Awh, that was really cute and sweet.

Ironic, also, because I get called M&M all the time.
Click to expand...

See..M&M candy isn't all bad........he, he ;)

Stay tough.....there is only room for one KILLER in the body and that's:

YOU.

The KILLER of all adversity.

ROCK!

Best wishes

Chillen
 
HEY!.......How about another smile young lady.....:)

You know its Friday....so.....:)

This is how we do it!!!!

Its Friday night, and you feel all right! :)


The party is right here (In your Mind, Body, and Spirit)

You got to get your groove on (motivation), before you go get paid (reach your goal)

So tip up your cup and throw your hands up!


And let me hear your party say:


Im kinda buzzed and its all because

(this is how we do it)


"Have a hungry Heart, a hungry Mind, a hungry Spirit, and you will always be near it"


ROCK ON!

GO DO IT!

Feel its THUNDER!

Get out on the floor an dance baby! Shake it!

Let it rattle your feet and you will never be beat!

Everyone take a seat.

Because this is goanna be neat!

Never say die, never.

Not ever.


Step up an realize.....

That no matter the feelings of ANYONE: Real eyes realize the prize is inside.

This cannot be touched.

Feel the THUNDER of the inner being that cannot be touched.

Beauty on inside transforms on the outside--no matter the person.

Stand upright! Accept the fight! And, say friggen good night! And, you will be alright!

Let them think what they will. Only YOU KNOW THE TRUTH!!



All have eggs on their face when you grace your face with your goal place!

Its party TIME!



Tell your mind its time to friggen ROCK; I like this sort of party! Lets go!

ROCK ON!!!!

Chillen
 
I need to work better on eating well when going out. Since I've recently added chicken to my diet again (i was vegetarian for 2 years, but eat seafood and poultry now), I can get delicious salads from resteraunts instead of frys or potatos or some form of carbs. :p I've gotten salad when I've gone out before, but the idea of spending five bucks atleast on mainly lettuce is crazy! Throw some chicken on there and I'm not going to mind as much. haha (maybe I'm just cheap) Fries weren't the only thing I'd get whenever I went out, and I've never eaten totally unhealthy, but they were almost always on the table. Ick.

Most of my friends are unaware that I'm eating some meats again. I don't think I could ever eat anything from a cow or pig without vomiting. Sexy imagery right there, but it's true. I'll probably go back to being vegetarian someday, but it's not me right now.

Bri and I were suppose to go out to breakfast, but it's looking more like lunch now. I will not order pie, I will not order pie, I will not order pie. I'll tell her not to let me, too.

I tried doing situps last night. I can barely do them anymore! It's a struggle, I use to be able to do it effortlessly, despite how much i weighed. It's been a while, but whats up with that.

I have another 6-ish hour shift tonight at the resteraunt. I hope I have to run, and I hope that its busy so I actually make some money tonight. I was so full of energy last night, I was running and getting things when I didn't need to, and ended up leaving with 16 dollars. lol Was not worth it, except maybe in the way that it fealt good to be active.
 
Those are so cute Chillen, haha. :)

Also, I need to add that I just weighed myself and the scale said 162, so it was no fluke! Yessss.
 
Just got back from the gym, where i signed up today! Woot woot.

I recruited my friend Brianna to go with me after going out to lunch. She's going to try to talk one of her parents into buying her a membership for christmas. I hope she gets one, it'd work out so well! My friend K is getting one too. I'm not afraid to go by myself, surprisingly, but it's more fun with a friend. Even if they are already skinny friends. <3

Did the bicycle thing-ma-jigger for 10 minutes, the treadmill for 15, a different bicycle machine for 5, and then the treadmill again for 20. :) Inbetween cardio exercises I did squats, crunches, exercises on the ball, worked with weights, and did a ton of different machines. I was there for a good 3 hours, not counting the 30 minutes it took to get signed up.

Ah! So, when I was on the bicycle machine the second time, I zoned out, and bent my knees awkwardly, thus scraping my knee against the machine... It bled a lot for a little scrape. I'm glad I don't get embarressed easily.

I just took some pictures. I think I'm going to keep doing that so I have a GOOD reminder of why I'm doing what I am.






That darn little scrape! and lol, I have no knees.





Sorry for all the photos!

Work totally screwed me over. Last weekend while I was driving there they called and said that it wasn't my weekend... So I had to turn around and drive back home. Tonight, while I was at the gym they left me a voice mail saying they were wrong, that last weekend was in fact my weekend, and that I didn't need to come in. GUH. I was so upset! Plus, this totally messes up my plans for the rest of the month. I'm suppose to have friends over next sat, and two weeks after that I was hoping to go to Canada. D: ... jerks.

Instead of working tonight I'm going to take a nap.
 
Sarah's and my friend Jess stayed last night with us. We pranked a few boys we knew, being complete creeps all night. They picked up Sarahs boyfriend this morning before I woke up, then woke me up and brought me to our local diner for breakfast. It was a blast! I love my friends.

After that I came back and got ready for the gym, dropped Jessica off, and headed out. My friend Samual met me up there. I did 20 minutes of the treadmill first, then Sam and I went swimming. We used the paddle boards, along with a few laps and just relaxing. I even talked him into going into the sauna to relax more, until we got too hot and went back to the gym. I did the treadmill some more, used the crunch machine, did side crunches on a ball, some squats with a weight, wall push ups (because I can't do real ones), along with a few other things. Then I stretched for a good 20 minutes. I'm glad I'm flexible, it just feels so damn good to stretch and not be in pain. Hah. I stretched enough to where I can do splits again too, which I'm very happy about! :] Before leaving I hopped on the treadmill for anohter 15 minutes. We were there for a good 2 hours, atleast.

After the gym Sam and I went out to lunch/dinner. We took his car and stopped to do doughnuts! Sams such a good guy, and was really fun to talk to. He wants to get a group of our friends to go to the gym again this week, or next! He also is thinking of getting a membership! I love that my friends are getting into this as well.

Breakfast:
2 slices wheat toast, scrambled eggs, 1/4 chicken salad (dressing on the side), coffee.

Lunch:
Chicken wrap, and half the ammount of french fries they served me. Chocolate milk and water.

Dinner:
Have yet to eat, but was planning on finishing the salad (which is why I ordered it), and eating yogurt.

I also had 3 waterbottles full of water today while at the gym! I'm not counting calories or anything, because I know I wont keep up with it and will dissappoint myself, but am instead just trying to eat better.

I feel so great right now! I even was tempted to buy a poptart when I got gas today, but decided not to since it was about 15 minutes after eating lunch, and I didn't need it. I'm doing so well! ...Though I did buy cookies and cream ice cream last night, and ate a lot of it. I have no craving for it today, I hope it lasts me a while instead of being gone in a week. Aside from that, I'm pretty dang proud of myself.

I'm starting to feel the effects of going to the gym. My neck is killing me! Other than that there aren't any big problems, my legs slightly hurt when I squat, and my back is a little stiff, but thats it. Tomorrow I don't think I'll go, especially since I have to work after school, and go to dance practice after that.

Today has been a good day!
 
I have type 1 diabetes and I hate it. Sometimes when I take insulin I want to eat the house clean, and then if I don't take enough and my blood sugar level gets high, I get cramps and want to curl up in a ball for an hour.. Which I just did... Which means I'm going to be starving in another hour, since I had to take more. I don't have great control, but I'm working on it. :/ When I was first diagnosed I gained a good ten pounds, atleast, that month. It went up from there. I was the same height, and between 103-112 pounds, a little skinny thing.

Connected to having diabetes, I was diagnosed a year after with having polycystic ovarian disease. I was put on birth control, gaining even more weight. I know they are both things I could have countered by watching what I ate more, but I was use to being able to eat anything and staying small. The weight I gained after I first started taking insulin made sense, since my body wasn't able to gain much from my blood sugar level constantly being high and flushing everything out of me the instant it went it. (I PEED ALL THE TIME.) I wish a doctor or my mom had made me more aware of what was going on. I was 13 when it all was happening, and too preoccupied with being a gothic pixie, going to the mall to play in the arcade and eye google boys. :blush5:

I'm well aware now though, and am ready to make the changes. Despite the crappy food I still eat, and how much I can eat, my diet is 10 times better than it was weeks ago. Exercise is also one of the best things I can do to help with my blood sugar control. The better I handle that, the faster and easier I'll be able to lose weight.

135 is my new weight goal, as it will be a healthy BMI. Getting to 150 is my mini goal!
 
I just put on my bikini, as I'm thinking about hitting up the gym before work for an hour. I CAN'T BELIEVE MY FREINDS LET ME WHERE A BIKINI IN PUBLIC. WTH. Time to invest in a bathingsuit I thinks.

Wahh, it's usually just old folks there whenever I go swimmming. I have chubby, cottage cheese legs, sexy as all hell I'm sure, but the rest of my skin is nice. I'll suck it up and go still, because I'm hoping to get RID of that! I want my legs to be smooth like the rest of my skin, my favorite feature.

I'm thinking about taking a picture for laughs later... like, a few months from now. A good "haha body, you don't suck a big one anymore" laugh. I want to be proud of how I look. I'm already over-confident, and it's going to be great when my body actually matches my cockyness.
 
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Went to the gym before work and ran for ten minutes, then had to go to work. I ate a few fries while there, but nothing big, and made some food after. Then I called my friend Milly and made her go to the gym with me. We went for a little over an hour.

Breakfast - Ate two light yogurts with a cup of frosted flakes. I love cereal.
Lunch - Ate a chicken sandwhich from work, light on the mayo, with extra lettuce, right after I got out of work.
Dinner - Had a salad with a lot of romain lettuce, cheese, grilled chicken, and light ranch dressing after hitting up the gym.
Snack - 2 toll house cookie bars.

:)

At the gym I did the treadmill for 15 minutes, then did a few of the machines, like the leg lift one and others that I have no idea what their propper names are.. Then more crunches/side crunches on the balls, followed by stretching. I jogged for another ten minutes after, got lazy, and decided to use the cycle machine (whats the real name for it?) for the last ten minutes.

I feel so damn great.
 
I woke up at 7 this morning, brought Milly to school, and then went to my house and gave my dogs a bath. (I have the cutest dogs in the world, btw). After hanging out with them for three hours, I went to Dunkin, and asked if they had a nutrition menue there. They don't! GUH. But the woman gave me a little foldout they had with some of there healthier options in it. I settled for a small blueberry coffee coolata with skim milk and a medium iced coffee with light cream and artificial sweetener. ... When I'm in the mood for coffee I go all out, hah.

After that I went to Rite Aid and bought multi-vitamins for Women, and orange juice. I have some at my house, but they're probably hidden under the couch somewhere... :p This is why I'm staying at my friends house, I can't manage my house properly... Something else that I'm working on....

I have to go to school in an hour, work as soon as I get out until 7, go pick up my brother, come back into town, and then will finally be able to go the gym. Boogers. I just need to fit eating good foods in there somewhere. What a busy day!
 
I keep on forgettting to take my multivitamin! Boo!

...In other news, I may very well be crazy, but I believe I can run longer/harder than I could a week ago. Hah, I also feel like I can feel my abs. (I've been making my friends feel them too! lol) It's probably too soon to get so darn excited... BUT YESS.

Not including friday, which I have to run a bunch for 6 hours at work, I've gone to the gym every day for a week! And I've been eating so much more healthy than I have in a long time.

I think I might have lost another pound. I'm maintaining what I've lost so far. (i usually gain the weight back right away!)

Oh, and I've found that when I'm not at the gym I'm a grump. I have been for the past two days atleast. Wahh.
 
Hello, Nola. Just found your diary looking through the forum and thought I'd stop by and say hi. It looks like you are making some good strides this time. Keep up the good work.
 
I went to the gym Friday because after driving to work, they told me they didn't need me once I got there. :mad: I was there for two and a half hours though, doing extra cardio! It felt great, and put me in such a good mood! I got hungry right after though, and went to Jreck Subs to hang out with my friends, who work there. After eating a full spicy buffalo chicken sub, on wheat, I was yet to be full.. still. So I went to the chinese place next door and got a small sweet and sour chicken with white rice, as they didn't have brown. I ate about a quarter of the rice, and ALL of the chicken. I should have known better. My friends and I had a sleepover, where it took me forever to sleep because I had horrible stomache cramps! I guess thats what I deserved though, for eating so damn much, especially the greasy chicken. Not to mention that I hadn't eaten sweet and sour chicken for a good three years before that. D:

The next day I still hadn't learned my lesson. We went out to breakfast. Lets see what I ate...
-two sunny side up eggs
-two slices of wheat toast
-a turkey sandwhich (mayo, lettuce, turkey, wheat bread)
-a small handfull of chips
-two glasses of chocolate milk
-4 cups of coffee

DAMN. We we went shopping for two hours after, then I headed for the gym and did some light cardio. (a mile on the treadmill, a few miles on the bike) I didn't want to do too much because I had to go to work at the resteraunt, and didn't want to be tired.

Before I went to work I went to the mall and got a spicy chicken crunchwrap from taco bell, along with an order of nachos. THEN, I got a small rhasberry coolata from DD, made with skim milk. I ate/drank everything.

Work wasn't too busy, but I had a lot of energy, and kept busy as much as I could instead of just standing there. :) for my break though, I got the Zinger chicken sandwhich, which comes with kettle chips, besides getting a roll and a side salad also. This too, I ate all of. I really wish I didn't, because I got food poisoning from it. (I think it was food poison, atleast).

That night I did not sleep at all. I had horrible, terrible cramps. I kept burping, and thought I was going to vomit. The next morning my best friend drew me a warm bath, saying that it was good for cramps. I guess it was too good though, because after being in there for three minutes, I bent over the edge of the tub and threw up all over their bathroom floor... Like, a ton. Her dad came in and said it looked like chicken noodle soup. haha! I seriously felt so much better, except when I had to clean it up. :blush5:

Yesterday I mostly just slept. I had cramps on and off, but nothing too bad. By 10:30 at night I was feeling almost completely better. I barely had an appettite, until around 3:30, when I forced myself to eat something. I'm so glad I called into work that morning, haha.

I am still getting random, slight cramps. I'm not going to the gym again today, kinda a bummer. I'm not eating chicken for a few days, and am not eating greasy chinese food chicken when/if I decide to again, nor am I eating that much food all in one day. I don't think I'm going to be able to eat the Zinger from work ever again, either.
 
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