Tegan1
New member
So! Weight loss journal! Yay!
I suppose I should start with how I got so big. My mum and dad split up when I was 6 months old and have never been terribly nice to each other. My mum is heavily overweight, she was a size 36 at one point, since getting the dogs she had dropped to a 30 and her goal size is a 24 (so she can steal my 'fat' clothes! Haha!) so I am very proud of her for that, but before then, she was very big. I will admit, I was ashamed of her for her size when I was growing up and wouldn't let friends round my house or let her go to meetings at school. I love my mum, but I didn't want to be bullied. So I grew up with my parents guilt (usually in the form of nice meals and posh chocolate) and my mothers portion sizes, all of which contributed to me reaching my highest recorded weight ever, which was between September 2008 to Early April 2009.
The back story is that when I started secondary school at 12, I was big, VERY big (I am hoping to find a photo), but at 12 I was wearing size 16 and 18 jeans. Not a good thing. (Although at the time I always thought of it as a good thing as it made me look a lot older and I got served for cigarettes! Haha!). My bulimia started at about 13, ironically, after watching a video at school about the dangers of eating disorders and reading the book 'Girls Under Pressure'. My mum would not ease up on portion sizes, no matter what I said, I had joined a lot of sports teams, but being so big, I never got chosen for the teams which disheartened me and at the time I thought that I could just bring up 2 or 3 dinners a week and I would lose weight and it would be fine, and yeah, I did work like that at first. I went from wearing 18 jeans to wearing 14 jeans by the time I was 14 (all UK sizes by the way). When I was 14 is when I would say my eating disorder started properly, as before then I was really actively making the choice to do it, but at 14, something took over. I would eat 6 or 7000 calories and throw them up, I would save all of my money to go and buy carby snacks to purge them. I hated myself and actually ended up going up from a size 14 to a 16 in a year. When I was 15/16 I was purging between 5 and 20 times a day, I was depressed, I had few friends left, my grades were suffering. My skin was a dull grey-ish colour, I had a lot of spots. But I was a size 10.
This was me then:
http://i45.tinypic.com/24ltxcj.jpg
When I was 16 my mum found out about my bulimia after I broke down to my friend Kayleigh and told her I couldn't take it anymore. Kayleigh told my mum and I started therapy. Therapy helped me sort things out in my head, but it didn't stop the purging. Eventually, due to a kidney condition becoming so bad because of my bulimia I had to be hospitalised, I was in hospital for 4 months, between intensive care and the psych ward. I had to drop out of 6th form because of it. I got out around my 17th birthday and I had gone from a 10 when I went in to a 16. When I came out of hospital I got back with my on/off partner (we had been together in two 6 month stints before that, but at that time, my ED always came first). I was doing really well getting better and didn't purge, but I was finding it hard to stop the bingeing. I went from a 16 when I got out of hospital in Mid March 2008 up to a 22 by the October. I stared college in the September and found it hard to make friends. Then by the February 2009, I was in a 24 jeans.
This was me around my highest weight:
http://i50.tinypic.com/xo0788.jpg
Although my partner made me feel great, the self loathing really started. In early March 2009, 2 days before my 18th Birthday, my Grandfather died. Me and my mum did actually live with my Grandpa for a while so he was a much closer family member to me than a lot of peoples Grandparents. Between being in a size 24 and my Grandpa's death, I started purging again in Mid March this year. Just a month later, me and my partner broke up. We lived quite far away from one another and I had been distant and totally detached from her since my bulimia started again. I was obviously upset because we had been together over a year. The purging carried on until May, but in April I had decided to stop it. I was only purging for around 8 or 9 weeks and have 'recovered' from that relapse well. I haven't purged since end of June (may I add, it was the day before an exam I was so worried about, the stress made me so it), which I am amazingly proud of myself for and I really do think of myself as a recovered bulimic.
Now, I have great friends at college who I love. My ex partner is more like my best friend and we are looking at the same Universities as she really wants to give it another go. My bulimia has TOTALLY stopped for over 5 months now and I barely even think about it at meals anymore. I have been chosen for the netball and rugby teams. My life is looking up.
I have dropped from a size 24 in Jeans in the February to now a 16/18 in jeans depending on how ridid they are. My boobs have gone from a 38E to a 36D, which I am very happy about. Any more than a handful is a waste! Haha!
My goal is to be healthy more than anything else. The goal weight for my height (5'8) is 140lbs, I am hovering just above 200 at the moment (although my true weight is probably just under 200, due to time of le month), so I am hoping to be in my size 10 goal jeans by results day next year, which is the middle of August. 9 months to lose about 60lbs. I have already lost about 80lbs in about 7 months so I think I can do it!
My diet is sort of variable, being a teenager and now liking mornings, I sometimes skip breakfast, but I eat it about 4 mornings a week and I have natural youghurt with granola (always eaten with a plastic spoon, usually whilst running for the bus! Haha!). Lunch is sushi, tuna salad, small pasta salad, sandwich, etc. Depending on amount of exercise I am doing that day. Dinner is usually vegetarian meat replacement or vegetables in a sauce with rice or pasta, so, vegetarian chilli, vegetarian barbeque, etc. Snacks throughout the day are fruit, sugar free jelly, vegetable sticks, small amounts of seafood. My diet works really well for me, it ends up at anywhere between 1000 and 1800 each day.
My exercise programme is also a bit variable, I try to go to the gym 5 days a week, but with college work I tend to go more like 3 days a week. I then walk my dogs daily for between 20 mins and an hour and a half depending on the weather. I used to just go to the field, let them off and sit on the bridge, but now I run around with them, walk the whole circumfrance, everything. I then do rugby training every sunday afternoon and netball every friday lunch. One sunday a month we take the dogs for a very long (6-10 miles) walk with friends.
Any critique on my diet or exercise would be great, I know I need to eat breakfast everyday, and I do try! But like I said, busy student!
To end, this is a few pictures of me now:
http://i48.tinypic.com/2mfdvlz.jpg
http://i50.tinypic.com/1128u85.jpg
http://i48.tinypic.com/2wewc93.jpg
http://i49.tinypic.com/dno6pu.jpg
http://i50.tinypic.com/x5zi8.jpg
Hope to get to know you all better soon!
I suppose I should start with how I got so big. My mum and dad split up when I was 6 months old and have never been terribly nice to each other. My mum is heavily overweight, she was a size 36 at one point, since getting the dogs she had dropped to a 30 and her goal size is a 24 (so she can steal my 'fat' clothes! Haha!) so I am very proud of her for that, but before then, she was very big. I will admit, I was ashamed of her for her size when I was growing up and wouldn't let friends round my house or let her go to meetings at school. I love my mum, but I didn't want to be bullied. So I grew up with my parents guilt (usually in the form of nice meals and posh chocolate) and my mothers portion sizes, all of which contributed to me reaching my highest recorded weight ever, which was between September 2008 to Early April 2009.
The back story is that when I started secondary school at 12, I was big, VERY big (I am hoping to find a photo), but at 12 I was wearing size 16 and 18 jeans. Not a good thing. (Although at the time I always thought of it as a good thing as it made me look a lot older and I got served for cigarettes! Haha!). My bulimia started at about 13, ironically, after watching a video at school about the dangers of eating disorders and reading the book 'Girls Under Pressure'. My mum would not ease up on portion sizes, no matter what I said, I had joined a lot of sports teams, but being so big, I never got chosen for the teams which disheartened me and at the time I thought that I could just bring up 2 or 3 dinners a week and I would lose weight and it would be fine, and yeah, I did work like that at first. I went from wearing 18 jeans to wearing 14 jeans by the time I was 14 (all UK sizes by the way). When I was 14 is when I would say my eating disorder started properly, as before then I was really actively making the choice to do it, but at 14, something took over. I would eat 6 or 7000 calories and throw them up, I would save all of my money to go and buy carby snacks to purge them. I hated myself and actually ended up going up from a size 14 to a 16 in a year. When I was 15/16 I was purging between 5 and 20 times a day, I was depressed, I had few friends left, my grades were suffering. My skin was a dull grey-ish colour, I had a lot of spots. But I was a size 10.
This was me then:
http://i45.tinypic.com/24ltxcj.jpg
When I was 16 my mum found out about my bulimia after I broke down to my friend Kayleigh and told her I couldn't take it anymore. Kayleigh told my mum and I started therapy. Therapy helped me sort things out in my head, but it didn't stop the purging. Eventually, due to a kidney condition becoming so bad because of my bulimia I had to be hospitalised, I was in hospital for 4 months, between intensive care and the psych ward. I had to drop out of 6th form because of it. I got out around my 17th birthday and I had gone from a 10 when I went in to a 16. When I came out of hospital I got back with my on/off partner (we had been together in two 6 month stints before that, but at that time, my ED always came first). I was doing really well getting better and didn't purge, but I was finding it hard to stop the bingeing. I went from a 16 when I got out of hospital in Mid March 2008 up to a 22 by the October. I stared college in the September and found it hard to make friends. Then by the February 2009, I was in a 24 jeans.
This was me around my highest weight:
http://i50.tinypic.com/xo0788.jpg
Although my partner made me feel great, the self loathing really started. In early March 2009, 2 days before my 18th Birthday, my Grandfather died. Me and my mum did actually live with my Grandpa for a while so he was a much closer family member to me than a lot of peoples Grandparents. Between being in a size 24 and my Grandpa's death, I started purging again in Mid March this year. Just a month later, me and my partner broke up. We lived quite far away from one another and I had been distant and totally detached from her since my bulimia started again. I was obviously upset because we had been together over a year. The purging carried on until May, but in April I had decided to stop it. I was only purging for around 8 or 9 weeks and have 'recovered' from that relapse well. I haven't purged since end of June (may I add, it was the day before an exam I was so worried about, the stress made me so it), which I am amazingly proud of myself for and I really do think of myself as a recovered bulimic.
Now, I have great friends at college who I love. My ex partner is more like my best friend and we are looking at the same Universities as she really wants to give it another go. My bulimia has TOTALLY stopped for over 5 months now and I barely even think about it at meals anymore. I have been chosen for the netball and rugby teams. My life is looking up.
I have dropped from a size 24 in Jeans in the February to now a 16/18 in jeans depending on how ridid they are. My boobs have gone from a 38E to a 36D, which I am very happy about. Any more than a handful is a waste! Haha!
My goal is to be healthy more than anything else. The goal weight for my height (5'8) is 140lbs, I am hovering just above 200 at the moment (although my true weight is probably just under 200, due to time of le month), so I am hoping to be in my size 10 goal jeans by results day next year, which is the middle of August. 9 months to lose about 60lbs. I have already lost about 80lbs in about 7 months so I think I can do it!
My diet is sort of variable, being a teenager and now liking mornings, I sometimes skip breakfast, but I eat it about 4 mornings a week and I have natural youghurt with granola (always eaten with a plastic spoon, usually whilst running for the bus! Haha!). Lunch is sushi, tuna salad, small pasta salad, sandwich, etc. Depending on amount of exercise I am doing that day. Dinner is usually vegetarian meat replacement or vegetables in a sauce with rice or pasta, so, vegetarian chilli, vegetarian barbeque, etc. Snacks throughout the day are fruit, sugar free jelly, vegetable sticks, small amounts of seafood. My diet works really well for me, it ends up at anywhere between 1000 and 1800 each day.
My exercise programme is also a bit variable, I try to go to the gym 5 days a week, but with college work I tend to go more like 3 days a week. I then walk my dogs daily for between 20 mins and an hour and a half depending on the weather. I used to just go to the field, let them off and sit on the bridge, but now I run around with them, walk the whole circumfrance, everything. I then do rugby training every sunday afternoon and netball every friday lunch. One sunday a month we take the dogs for a very long (6-10 miles) walk with friends.
Any critique on my diet or exercise would be great, I know I need to eat breakfast everyday, and I do try! But like I said, busy student!
To end, this is a few pictures of me now:
http://i48.tinypic.com/2mfdvlz.jpg
http://i50.tinypic.com/1128u85.jpg
http://i48.tinypic.com/2wewc93.jpg
http://i49.tinypic.com/dno6pu.jpg
http://i50.tinypic.com/x5zi8.jpg
Hope to get to know you all better soon!
