The Gym Stuff

W

Writer2014

New member
Yesterday I found out from the horse's mouth that Kazik was ignoring my calls on purpose. Our 3 year friendship is over. That confirms that Kazik though I was obese and disgusting.

Today I went to the gym. I did 10 minutes of walking, half slow, half speed walk. I went to get a pasta for dinner (hadn't eaten all day because I didn't sleep well the night before) and it wasn't enough so I ordered another one. I could feel the people looking at me thinking that I'm a pig. I do think of myself as an obese disgusting loser after Kazik's rejection of me. I didn't finish the second pasta but took the rest home. It was embarrasssing to be at the gym because I felt like the people there were thinking, She's so fat that it's hopeless, who does she think she is exercising here.

I did 2 cycling classes with those in place bikes. Each I was in for 20 minutes. The fat burning one was the most tiring for sure. When I was at the gym my weight was 54.3 kg but then when I went in again after I ate it was 56.5 kg :'( So I guess my real weight is 56.5 kg? Kazik wants my weight to be less than 50 kg. I know our friendship is over but I'll feel like less of a loser if I do it. I wish I could be beautiful, I have this nice image where I'm wearing a chunky gold bracelet and a white top, lying on my back on a yacht.

Oh also today I was trying on a shirt at Marc at Marc Jacobs and I took the XS but the saleswoman snatched it away from me and said, "It's impossible you'll fit into that." I know I would have fit into it because they always say that and then I always fit in with room to spare. And then I wanted to look at the bracelets and she was talking to me in a hostile tone and she didn't want to let me try them on. I guess it's because of my weight.
 
I am sorry you feel that way. You are beautiful, you just need to believe it. Beauty isn't a weight - it's in you, it's more than looks. You are the same person no matter your weight. If you are unhappy with your weight, you can take steps to change it. But just know that weight loss will not change who you are. Don't define yourself by what others think. They don't matter- you do!
 
hmm....sat here and read your post and first off sorry to here that this Kazik person is ignoring you, (who ever it is). Secondly, I'm curious as to how tall you are if you don't mind. I can't imagine you being as over weight as you think you are. Pretty much all ladies that I know of would love to be at your weight. I understand you want to drop some weight to get to your goal, which is good. But if your going to lose weight you should do it for you not because some person wants you to be.
Don't worry about the people around you as to what they think. I'm sitting at over 200lbs and five days a week I go into the gym to workout, and let me tell you, everyday I feel intimidated by all the super fit people around me wondering what they must think of me in there among them. But then I look at myself in the mirror during my workout and think to myself. I know why I'm here, its because I want to be here to work my ass off so I too can look like them. But in all reality I look around and I also see a lot of these people look at me and a few have even smiled at me as to say "good job, glad your here to make a better person of yourself, keep it up"
So I'll leave you with this.... Screw the other people. Do what you feel will make you the happiest. Work yourself out with your head up high as to say "I'm doing this for me and nobody else, I don't care what other people thing of me and no one will stop me from making my goal".
 
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