The Diary of Madness

madness1

madness1

New member
Sounds ominous huh?

Well, for the first time in several years, I've decided to get serious about weight loss. I've been toying with the idea, but apparently wasn't ready. Then I got engaged and realized that was the perfect "excuse" to get my butt in gear! So in January I started off at 185 pounds (was 207 at my highest 2 years ago) with a great attitude...then on January 3rd, I had gallbladder surgery and a really rough recovery. Ok, so all was not lost. By March I was ready to get back on track at 195 pounds. Well, one excuse after another and now I'm hovering just over 200. Uh...if I wasn't trying to lose weight, I'd probably still be at 185! I swear, my body instantly rebels when it hears the phrase "weight loss" - what gives?!?!

And so now I'm in that "let's make a DRASTIC change" mood where I imagine that if I just cut my calories down to 500 a day and run 10 miles a day, I'll be down to my perfect weight in 2 months. What a ridiculous thought! But it's there, lurking in the back of my mind. And every time it rears its head, I seem to eat another piece of cheese cake. ARG!

So I'm writing down my REAL plan so that I can see how reasonable and easy it will be. My diet is actually pretty darn healthy...it's just simply too much food. So I don't have a far stretch there. I generally do exercise quite a bit (walk to work, walk the dog, go hiking, garden in a 45' x 30' plot plus actual gym time). So just a few simple changes will get me on track. So here are my proposed steps:

For the month of May:
Exercise
Exercise for an hour a day, 5 days a week (cycling (1x), Krav Maga (2x) - I have this planned and have been doing it for about a year but I generally only make it about 3 days a week. No more silly excuses! And if I do have to miss something (late work meeting, etc), then I will reschedule!
​
Diet
Continue eating my normal diet sans late night snacks and alcohol. I'll record everything even though I HATE doing it - I cook all my food and it's a pain in the rear and takes forever to keep track of everything. I will eat until I feel about 75% full.​

For the month of June:
Exercise
I will add some dedicated strength training sessions - I do it in Krav, but its probably not enough.
​
Diet
Adjust my diet to include any nutrients I'm lacking from my regular diet. Depending on weight loss, I'll adjust the caloric intake if need be.​


After that, I will simply have to see where I am. I could already be doing something that works, or I could see tons of room for improvement. So for the first month, it's really going to be getting motivated and figuring out what I need to change.
 
Ok, a week into this and where am I? No where! Well, I'm more determined, but I sure didn't get too far this last week. I gained some weight since my last weigh-in (which was quite awhile ago). But I clearly see my mistakes, i.e. this is not mystery weight gain. :p I ate a lot of food and drank a lot of wine and sat a lot on my butt.

And this week is FULL of excuses to miss my exercise. So I'm going to have to be really creative with my schedule to get them in.

So I'm still sticking to my original plan for May - exercise 5 days a week and eat small portions and cut out the alcohol. My fiance wants to take a break from drinking, so this is perfect timing.

Onwards and upwards!
 
Ok, I made an important revelation yesterday. I eat when I'm stressed. I know this is common and it seems like I should have figured this out before, but I don't typically get REALLY stressed out. At work, I'll sometimes need to do a rush job and thinking back, I know realize that I usually grab a snack 'for extra energy' before doing it. This just doesn't happen all that often, so I hadn't connected the dots.

But the last two weeks have been different. My neighbor threatened to sue my because I have chickens and he hates them so I've been dealing with an angry neighbor and lawyers for awhile. Yesterday was the "big meeting" for arbitration. I had a lot of phone calls beforehand to help me prepare. I noticed that each time the phone rang and I began talking about the case, I would grab another slice of pizza (I was at work and that was the only food around!). It suddenly hit me. I'm a stress eater!

It just wasn't obvious before because usually my stress only lasts long enough to grab one snack (which is usually a healthy snack when I keep stuff stocked a work instead of relying on the snack room potato chips). But this prolonged stress made me realize that I do indeed have an issue here. I now also realize that it was a major contributor to my weight gain in the first place. I knew I was stressed during the time I gained the weight, but it never really hit home with me that this might be a major issue.

So now I've identified an issue to work on. I don't know yet how to solve it. My first step was to bring healthy food with my to work today to make sure that if I had some cravings, I could eat carrots (one of my absolute favorite snacks) or a piece of fruit. But I'll do some research on how to manage this. I don't think it will be a big issue while I'm trying to lose weight since I don't generally stress out, but even if I grab a pizza once a week or even once a month to cope with stress, that'll be hindering my progress.

And I've decided to weigh myself everyday. I think that will help me work through this.
 
Things have not gone so well. This has happened the same way over the past year or so. I start to try to lose weight and I only gain. If I'm not trying, I maintain the same weight. So frustrating. But I'm staying motivated. I think my body and mind are just rebelling but I'll gain control. So I'm up nearly 12 pounds since starting. Arg. I'm back to almost my heaviest weight ever.

I'm going to keep track of my calories burned as well as consumed. I'll have a weekly log of that. Hopefully seeing it all written down will make me realize where I'm going wrong. Because I sure am doing something wrong.
 
Goals

GOALS

Longterm goal: 150 lbs by the end of 2008

First short term goal (set May 26): 195 lbs by summer solstice (June 20)
(this is a big goal and I might not make it, but I need to push myself in the beginning to get this going!)
Result:​

Second short term goal (set ???): ???
 
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Months of May and June Stats:

MAY

Weight:

5.5.08:-----195
5.14.08:----200
5.24.08:----206.6


Exercise and Calorie Consumption:

--------5.19-5.25---|---5.26-6.1---

Mon:----????--????--|--3011--1043--
Tues:---????--????--|--2771--1418--
Wed:----????--????--|--2833--1649--
Thurs:--????--????--|--3107--1337--
Fri:----2173--????--|--3152--????--
Sat:----2543--????--|--2923--????--
Sun:----2824--????--|--3121--????--

Avg:----????--????--|--2988--1362--
Diff:------????-----|-----1626-----
Exp loss:---?.?-----|------3.3-----
Act loss:---?.?-----|------4.9-----

 
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I'm using My Apex to count the calories. It (or I) chronically under reports calories. I just haven't figured it out yet. Maybe I'm just not entering everything or maybe it's values are off. But it says I ate about 1000 calories yesterday. Uh, if I had eaten 1000 calories, I would have felt like crud. I've used My Apex in the past. Seems like it's always between 500-1000 calories off (or I am!). That sounds more reasonable.

I'm going to try another tracking program and see if it's me or the software. If it's me, well I guess I just gotta be more and more careful about what I eat. It's probably a portion thing - i.e. I don't realize a cup is a cup.
 
allyphoe said:
You might try getting a kitchen scale, and weighing everything for a week or so. If you tend to eat similar things, you'll get pretty good at eyeballing.
Click to expand...

I have a kitchen scale and I use it when I remember to!

And that's another problem - I have a very varied diet so it's a bit harder. I hate it when I make a recipe that has 20 ingredients and I have to calculate the nutrition parts. And that's usually every night...but I am trying to use a cookbook that has the nutrition facts for its recipes. I'm just so used to making my own stuff based on what is ripe in the garden. And I don't usually measure what I put in recipes. I need to work on this!

I know people that will eat the same snack everyday so they know exactly how many calories. I eat something different all the time. I've tried eating the same thing but it drives me nuts and I end up eating another snack of something different. That's why I'm aiming for portion control first over changing something more radical about the way I eat.
 
madness said:
I hate it when I make a recipe that has 20 ingredients and I have to calculate the nutrition parts.
Click to expand...

If it's something I eat a lot, I'll set it up in Excel (I have a template I use for FitDay), and set it up as a custom food. If it's a one-time thing, I just enter each ingredient separately. (I don't feel the need to be accurate as much as consistent, though. So it doesn't matter to me if the real number of calories I eat is 1800 or 2200 - what matters to me is that I always eat about the same number of calories according to my count. The trend of the scale will tell me if I need to adjust up or down.)
 
My Apex lets me build meals so I can enter all the ingredients and then say how big a serving size is. It just takes time and I'm not used to doing it. I know, not an excuse! But I'm getting better about it. Thanks for the advice!

Looks like my recorded calorie intake is getting closer to what I actually think I'm eating. I'm probably just recording more little snacks as I become more and more aware of what is going in my mouth. I always say that I eat pretty healthy, but I've noticed that junky snacks make it into my diet more than I thought. Usually I'm on the run and grab something at the office and that stuff is never good!

And I'm done to 203.9 (I weighed myself midweek!) so I'm thinking that the 206.6 was a particularly high day for whatever reason. This makes me more confident that I'll be able to make my 195 lbs by June 20! Sucks, because that's where I started and I spent the first month gaining ten pounds and now I'm having to spend the next month+ losing it again.
 
May ended pretty well. I would up losing a lot of weight in my first week of re-dedication. I think it was a bit much, but I also think that my first weigh-in might have been too high. I'm still working on getting my calories recorded properly. I don't usually use the computer over the weekend and I haven't gotten used to writing food things down, so I didn't record on weekends - and thats the time I slip the most!

Ok, so the month of June:

JUNE

Weight:

6.2.08: 201.7
6.9.08: 199.3
6.16.08: 199.3
6.23.08: 196.6
6.30.08: 195.8


Exercise and Calorie Consumption:

---------6.2-6.8----|---6.9-6.15---|---6.16-6.22--|---6.23-6.29---

Mon:----2727--1464--|--2753--1071--|--2766--1321--|--2404--1196--
Tues:---2641--2432--|--2839--1464--|--3083--1459--|--2925--1684--
Wed:----2386--1758--|--2443--1381--|--2756--1550--|--2575--2112--
Thurs:--2895--1115--|--2359--1383--|--2717--2500--|--2702--2058--
Fri:----2716--1630--|--2757--1237--|--3001--1001--|--2925--1332--
Sat:----3083--1004--|--3129--1435--|--3447--2256--|--3116--2563--
Sun:----2794--1495--|--3602--1216--|--3351--1830--|--2548--1535--

Avg:----2749--1557--|--2840--1312--|--3017--1702--|--2742--1781--
Diff:------1192-----|-----1528-----|-----1315-----|-----961-----
Exp loss:---2.4-----|------3.0-----|------2.6-----|------1.9-----
Act loss:---2.4-----|------0.0-----|------2.7-----|------0.8-----



Expected total loss: 9.9
Actual total loss: 5.9
 
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:banghead: Just did my food entries for lunch and snacks. :banghead:

I have 210 calories left for dinner. I've managed to consume 90 grams of fat today!!!! And only 30 grams of protein. Boy did today go wrong...and that's after drinking too much tequila last night.

Ok, lets get back on track NOW!

I'm going to restart going to Krav Maga tomorrow. I finally have the time to do it again. Part of my plan was to go twice a week. Well, that hasn't happened yet. I'm still burning a good number of calories just doing my regular thing. But Krav has strength training built in and I need that right now. I also need to get to the gym to do more of it. One thing at a time...

Hmm. Just realized that I haven't reviewed my goals for may:

Exercise: An hour a day, 5 days a week (cycling (1x), Krav Maga (2x))

Haven't done it. But I am burning a good number of calories finally (shooting for 2800). I probably wasn't in the beginning of the month. Scratch that. I KNOW I wasn't in the beginning. But I'm being good now!​

Diet: Continue eating my normal diet sans late night snacks and alcohol. I will eat until I feel about 75% full.

Doing good here lately with a little slip up last night and today​
.

So looks like I need the same goals for June, with a little adjustment. So here they are:

Exercise: Burn 2800 calories a day. Vary my workouts (working at home, going to the gym, Krav, etc). I would like to do a structured class 3 times a week (Krav, cycling)

Diet: I'm doing pretty good on calories so stick with 1800. Less fat and more protein though. I can tell when I've had a good amount of protein. I'm more energetic. I'm shooting for 90 grams of protein and 30 grams of fat (the opposite of what I did today! :p )
 
Hello, Madness. (Hee, hee. I like the sound of that.) I just read through your diary and it looks like you were off to a rocky start, but you are getting a handle on it. It's good to hear. I think that not giving up when you get those set backs is half the battle. It's also good to hear that the weight that snuck on has gone away. I've found that doing the daily weigh in helps keep me on track. If I slip up I know I'll see it in the morning. That also helps keep the evening snacking down.

I love the drink, too. There is pretty much nothing that I don't drink, alcohol wise. I pretty much have given it up with very few exceptions. It's not easy. Not because I'm craving it or anything. I just like it. I guess it makes the times that I allow myself to indulge just that much better.

I also have chickens and bees, but no problem with the neighbors. Thank goodness, because I don't handle disputes in the most diplomatic of ways. Good luck with that.

Keep hammering away. :smash:

Trops
 
Madness has been my nickname since 7th grade. I must have been a weird kid...

This is my second real attempt to lose a large amount of weight. The first was right after I got engaged and I got down to 185. Then the surgery and blah, blah, blah. But when I tried then, I had to gain 10 pounds first. My body and mind just HAVE to rebel when I start these things apparently. So I wasn't too surprised that I gained another 10 pounds before restarting last month. Ah well. It'll come off eventually and I'll keep it off!

You know, I used to buy into the whole thing that you shouldn't weigh yourself everyday. I know the scale doesn't matter as much as other things, but it gives me such a black and white indicator of what is going on. If I've slipped up and I weigh myself the next day, it's always motivating. If I weigh more, then I'm more determined. If I weigh the same, then I realize that all is not lost and I can keep on going. If I weigh less, then I bless my lucky stars and promise to be better in return for such a lucky break. I've put myself in the mindset that no matter the outcome on the scale, I will always keep up the plan. When I didn't weigh myself that often, I would DREAD what the scale MIGHT say and it would actually hinder me. The mind is a strange thing...

Speaking of weighing yourself everyday, I've been 202.8 since Tuesday. Arg. I know my scale jumps - I can keep picking up things on the bathroom counter, but it doesn't go to 202.9, it jumps up to 204.1 eventually. And on the way down, I think the next jump is 201.7 - my Monday weigh-in. So I'm not terribly worried...especially because my expected weight loss at this point is only 0.6 pounds. Gotta keep trying harder! Today's already been a great day. Got up and burned half my calories before 10AM!
 
Things have been a bit strange lately. When I was big into sports, I would notice that my appetite would always dwindle during heavy training. I practically had to force myself to eat to have enough energy. Now that I'm working out again, I'm having the same thing but this time the concept of forcing myself to eat is hard to come to grips with. It's just strange! So my immedeate goal is to get my calorie intake back up to about 1800. I've been pretty low the past couple of days but then forced myself to eat something late at night. Yesterday I only hit 1000 calories. Yikes.
 
If you aren't too hungry I wouldn't try to get the calories up too much. maybe a little, but to add 800 calories just because... That doesn't make too much sense to me.
 
You're probably right. Sometimes though, I can feel myself crashing from no energy. That's when I really do need to eat. But if it's the end of the day and I feel fine, then I'm just going to let the calories be less than my plan. It's better than being more! :p

Today was a pretty good weigh-in. I wasn't sure since I had a feeling that last week was a false low. But I'm 199.3 today, down from 201.7 last week. That's a decent loss!

Edit: I just did the calculations. According to my calorie expenditure and intake I should have lost 2.4 pounds. That's exactly what I did! So it looks like I am finally recording my calories correctly!
 
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